Make your own telezapper equivalent to stop telemarketers

[Packy]

<< a guy on the other end of the line wants to smuggle your sausage:disgust: >>



HAHA! That just makes some beautiful mental imagery <wharf>

 

[iamjn]

Some of these comments are really good. I'm sitting here in my office chuckling like an idiot!

The way I deal with these people is this: When I determine it's a telemarketer, I tell them that I will not do business over the phone but if they want to mail me some information I will look at it when I have time. Most say that they don't have information to mail or tha they 'don't do that'. I simply tell them 'sorry, we won't be doing any business then'. For the ones that say ok and ask for my address I tell them 'If you were intellegent enough to find my phone number, you can find my address as well. Have a nice day." Then I hang up.

Not sexy or overly rude but it seems to work. My calls have dropped from 1-2/day to just a couple a month.

 

[Devistater]

<< A-men to everything being said here. But you guys should look into the "No Call" lists. Two ways to do it:

1) Every company that trys to sell over the phone is required by law to have a "no call" list, ie a list of numbers/people that they are not allowed to call. All you have to do is ask to be put on that list and technically they are required by law to put you on it. THEN if they call back within a certain time period (1-2 years or such) you can get them fined from the government ($1K-5K from what I remember). This does work but can be tedious since you have to first talk to them to tell then not to call you BACK...

But note that these lists are not applicable to "non-profit" organization like the Fireman or Shriners or such. So these people can always call you... so that's when you just use your caller ID... "out of area" .. I think not... and I think that companies that you "do business with" such as your credit card companies and utilities and such are still allowed to "contact" you... so then you can use the worderful tactics listed above.

PS. If anyone figures out how to bust these telemarketers or ever success in getting one of them fined.. I would LOVE to hear about it!!! >>




Not really correct, go read the actual text of the Federal law Last time I checked, it was $500 per incident, but in order to make sure you get it, you should write down the name and company of the person you speak to and the times. Also, they are allowed to call you once or twice after you tell them not too, because they might make a mistake. Anyway, it IS effective, and from what I've seen, they generally don't call you again if you ask to be put on thier do not call list. By law, any telemarketer MUST maintain one... I dont remember any exemptions for non-profit though.

 

[Thump553]

For those of you with pre-teen or teenage kids, please realize that dealing with telemarketers is one of their joys in life. We the phone rings at dinnertime my son literally quivers with excitement before he bolts for the phone.

No-call list? Bah.

I do agree with those that advise never, ever buy anything from a telemarketer-its as bad as donating money in your own name to a political party.

 

[LoneRangerUSA]

I have fun with them. They tell me how great their product/service is and I say uh-huh uh-huh or I ask them to give me their pitch.

Of course they have a answer book to all the question that you are going to ask. That's how they sucker you.

Then, I pop up with this statement telling them, "I am not interested in saving money." HA! See if they find an answer for that!

And dont forget to tell them to take you of their list.

 

[Stifko]

Check this out if you're in New York State:

New York "Do Not Call" Registry Web Site

 

[labooboo]

Since I speak chinese I just speak chinese to them they have no idea and will hang up pretty soon

 

[ivan2]

telling them you are under 18 is the best idea cuz they will usually hang up immidiately, but hearing my father say he's under 18 and telling them my grandpa isn't home will usually laugh my butt off =D

 

[RobK]

I tell them that I'm masturbating at the moment so I can't talk, unless they want to talk dirty to me.

 

[loudmouth]

If anyone with a background in electronics is kind enough to give us a schematic and parts list using this information from the Patent Office, it would help everyone. Here are the links from patent office. It provides some info we need specifics on parts.


Download Plug in to view schematics: Plug In

Images of telezapper schematics:
Telezapper Images/Schematics

Patent Info of Telzapper:
Patent Info

 

[tenest]

<< Heres how I handle telemarketers. When they call I simply sound as if I'm interested. Then when they start their speech, I simply place the phone down on the table and let them continue to talk to themselves. After awhile they eventually realize nobody is responding at the other end. Its such fun to hear them go on and on ad nauseum. Eventually they hang up. >>



thats what i usually do as well. however, one night, after receiving 8 of these calls in a row, i was getting a little pissed off. the guy started off into his speech. he went on for about 30 seconds before i stopped him and said, "uh... this is REALLY a bad time... i'm right in the middle of geting a blow job. do you think you can call back later?" the guy on the other end completely shut up. after a few seconds he said "oh man, i am SORRY. dude, i'll leave you alone" and hung up. ROFL!!! my wife an di both almost pee'd our pants!

 

[jimmons]

But note that these lists are not applicable to "non-profit" organization like the Fireman or Shriners or such. So these people can always call you... so that's when you just use your caller ID... "out of area" .. I think not... and I think that companies that you "do business with" such as your credit card companies and utilities and such are still allowed to "contact" you... so then you can use the worderful tactics listed above.


You can check out the Federal law regarding the "no call lists" here: http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/tmarkg/straight.htm

It doesn't say there is an exception for non-profits, but "Sales that are not completed, and payment or authorization for payment is not required, until there is a face-to-face sales presentation" are exempted. These businesses generally include Real Estate and Insurance.

Some state "do not call lists" (like Texas) DO exempt non-profits.

Anyway, I am in Real Estate sales and do extensive calling on a daily basis. RARELY does anyone ever use any of the tactics I see here, and I'd say only 2 or 3 percent of the people hang up or are otherwise rude or obnoxious. I can count on one hand the number of people who ask me to take them off of my list-- which, legally, doesn't apply to me anyway. I've even had a couple of occassions when someone was rude or obnoxious and then, minutes later, they called back to apologize!! I guess I'm just not calling the Anandtechers!

I'd even go as far as to say a majority of the people politely chat and do thank me for calling at the end of our conversation. But I do attribute that to knowing my sales script, speaking sincerely and NOT sounding like I'm bored and reading off of a computer like most telemarketers.

Everyday, I get calls from people that did not answer the phone, but saw my number on their caller ID so they called me back to see who I am (I usually do my calls from home) -- now I ask you, WHY would you screen calls with caller ID, THEN return the call to someone you didn't know -- someone who was effectively screened out by the caller ID??? Why don't they either pick up the phone when I call, or get rid of their caller ID since it kills them to not answer when strangers call anyway? These are the most fun calls, because as soon as they say, "who is this, your number was on my caller ID?" I thank them for calling and go into my sales spiel. They get so flustered that THEY called the telemarker -- its really funny to hear them!

The way I figure it is some people will be real jerks, some may curse and yell or threaten, but they are so few and I know that for every 125 to 140 calls I will get a few jerks but more importantly I will get, on average, one great sale that results in a paycheck ... so I gotta keep calling looking for that one sale and forget the rest.

 

[Keego]

<< umm that is the tone like when you try to call a phone that doesn't exist, does it really work?

That taliban flash is funny as heck.

Actually I think Big Lots aka McFrugal had something like this for 2.99 a while back. >>



taliban flash thing

 

[beeebeeebeee]

Just say, "please take me off the calling list." They will respond with "sure thing ... we will place you on the do not call list ... thank you ... bye." It's simple, polite, and effective without having to play "uh ... can you call me in 6 months" or "me don't speak ingles and I don't know spanish either" games.

 

[beeebeeebeee]

Sometimes saying "I'm not interested" doesn't work that is why you must tell them to take your number off the calling list.

Once I had a cold caller trying to sell me some credit card insurance I think (I don't quite remember because I was fuming by the end of the call). Soon after he began his pitch, I immediately replied "I'm not interested." He continued with "(blah blah) we are offering a risk free trial." I said "sorry, I'm really not interested." He continued "blah blah blah this service has the following advantages." He kept going "would you consider blah blah blah" and I kept saying "no thanks I am NOT INTERESTED." I was ticked by the 5th "I am Not interested" and I was yelling (and ready to murderize the guy) by the 10th "I SAID I AM NOT INTERESTED!" until he finally say "thank you for ... blah blah ... if you should change your mind call ... bye."

On retrospect, I could tell the guy was sensing my growing rage but it seems like someone was putting a gun to his head to force him to continue his robotic pitch. If you watch Boilerroom you can probably sense why cold callers are so annoying and insistant ... it's because their mudder fricken bosses force them to do it. Of course, no one is forcing them to take that kind of degrading job.

On further retrospect, the people who fall prey to these high pressure, unyielding callers are the elderly widowed women who are too polite to say "f--k off" and get literally goaded into buying worthless crap and scams. They are probably the most appropriate target audience for these telezapper devices.

 

[kdttaz]

Bump for a very funny thread!

 

[akshatp]

These are all great... Man I was really hurtin my gut on some of em.

Here is what my cousin does.. He acts VERY interested.. Lets the person go on for a couple of minutes.. Uh-huh, oh yeah i need that, oh that sounds nice...etc etc..

Every minute or so, he will interrupt, saying, "Oh you arent Christian are ya?. No? Okay, continue.." He will continue doing this every minute or so with a different religion/race/etc, until he hits the jackpot. Then he will curse out said party and talk about how someone of that religion/race screwed him and how he hates them all and what he wants to do to them and stuff.

Its is quite funny.

NOTE: Neither me, nor my cousin are racist or against any religion in any way. It is simply for great amusement..

 

[PicPop]

wtf??just say f*ck you and hang up ur fone

 

[gsethi]

heres what i actually did once to a call from Telephone company(selling long distance).

caller: hello sir, we have a new promotional plan. we will be giving you 7 cents per min, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year if you sign up for our state-to-state long distance.

me: really, you know that would save me a lot of money per year.

caller: oh yes, sir, that sure will. so before starting, let me just verify your name and phone number.

me: dont you want my address to send the check also ?

caller: excuse me sir, what check ?

me: the check for $36,792 (i did the calculation on the calculator lying on my table).

caller: what check are you talking about ?

me: you said that you will be giving me 7cents/min, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, accoding to that the total yearly check comes out to $36,762. so when will be i getting my check ?

caller: surprised, sir, you got me wrong. we are actually offering you......... (i speak here cutting her off)

me: i know your offering me the money if i sign up for your plan. i am ready to sign up for your plan. But first, just send in my check.

caller: sir, we will be charging you 7 cents/min for your phone calls.

me: WHAT ? 1 min ago, you were offering me and now you will be charging me. I wish to speak to a supervisor.

caller: Oh No sir, that is not necessary, there is a slight misunderstanding.

me: you call that a "SLIGHT" misunderstanding. first, you tell me that you will be giving me money and now you want me to charge $36k. I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO A SUPERVISOR NOW.

caller: hold on sir, let me get hold of one........ (on hold for 2 min laughing hard)

Supervisor: good evening sir, i see that you have been mistaken........blah blah........... it was a calling rate plan.......blah....blah

me: sir, that lady offered my $36,782 per year if i sign up for your state-to-state long distance plan. i have the whole conversation recorded. Now, if i dont receive my check, you will be hearing pretty soon from my lawyer. can i have her's and your employee number ?

Supervisor: tries to explain the whole situation.

me: but she offered me money. alright, if you are not going to offer me some money now, compensate me for all my precious time you have wasted.

I ended up getting a $25 credit on my next phone bill and never a call again from them.

I suggest you guys do the same if your telephone company calls you with a new promotion. at the end of the conversation, i was laughing so hard.

 

[darth_beavis]

huh huh, i like to take a big dump on the phone, huh huh. POOP!