Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

[manimal]

According to my friends with kids that would be a no. Like I said before I don't know anyone our age with kids having seed 3-4 times a week. Even at girls night my wife says they talk about it and discuss how it's significantly declined. No one wants to be sexually inactive, but things change and more important aspects of your life take up more time.

Either way, these are young adults without kids and as I said in an earlier thread before we got on the kids subject there are probably other reasons for this. If he is the type of guy to make a spreadsheet rather than just talk with her then I'm sure there are other things about him that make her nauseous, contributing to his blue balls. I can't imagine any woman gets turned on by nightly pestering, and she was likely purposely rejecting him.

Your having an adult conversation with a child. Everything you posted so far is reasoned and logical and honestly I have tons of respect for you and what you have done. I am the father of four year old surprise triplets and I can attest to the reality of life with kids.

What if I find hilarious is the drunk guy arguing with you just went trough a divorce with a mail order bride and is now in a relationship with a woman with grown kids. He has no idea what he is talking about as usual and has no clue what real married life is like since he's just in the playing house phase.

Nobody is entitled to sex unless you drive an m3 though if it gets reposssed you may have pay for it.

 

[z1ggy]

Can't believe this thread is going on 12 pages now. Lots of guys in here not getting laid enough by their SO's and are projecting their frustrations...

 

[manimal]

Can't believe this thread is going on 12 pages now. Lots of guys in here not getting laid enough by their SO's and are projecting their frustrations...

Are you married and have kids? How old are you?

 

[Dman8777]

Um, children kill sex. Ironically.

QFT

Since the birth of our daughter, all I want to do in bed is sleep. Pretty sad

 

[alkemyst]

Are you married and have kids? How old are you?

having kids is the only criteria that matters in this debate.

 

[manimal]

having kids is the only criteria that matters in this debate.

a simple mind would think so. Relationships are complex and people even more so. Being married for over a decade matters as well.....

 

[spinejam]

It's not that life is hard, is that there are only so many minutes in the day, and depending on your values, some people desire (and judging by some responses in this thread, sadly require) sex in their free time. Believe it or not, many people are perfectly fine using their limited free time to do something else. I just can't understand why people get so worked up about going a week or 2 without it. I thought that was normal.

If it's an isolated incident - no problem. If you start to notice a pattern developing, watch out! Just wait until that "week or two" turns into once per month, then once every other month,...once every six months. Then you'll be back here complaining like a lil bitch too. You think you'll be able to just change the rules then / dismiss the validity of her reasons of why your not having sex for one to two weeks now? - ...those arguments will hold-up just fine down the road as well and will haunt your ass. Best to remedy the situation as soon as possible - stop making excuses / accepting BS excuses (barring medical) --- stay a priority like the fucking mortgage / light bill, etc. --- don't let her get lazy on you or you're done buddy!

 

[chihlidog]

Here's a question that will add a lot of insight.

How many of you guys who think it's OK to go a week or 2 or more without sex

1) Fap to porn

2) Tell your wives about it

3) Have wives that think it's OK?

 

[alkemyst]

a simple mind would think so. Relationships are complex and people even more so. Being married for over a decade matters as well.....

I was married 11 years to my ex-wife (the mail order bride you speak about that had a 4 year MIS degree from the University of Tokyo).

In all honesty, people like to talk 'back in the day'; but the reality is people don't change much.

If you aren't having sex that much with kids, you probably weren't really having sex that much without them.

 

[alkemyst]

Here's a question that will add a lot of insight.

How many of you guys who think it's OK to go a week or 2 or more without sex

1) Fap to porn

2) Tell your wives about it

3) Have wives that think it's OK?

Well the long and short of it (pun intended), is that one has to do what's right for one's self. Lack of needs is bad and leads to a spiral of blaming the other person.

If masturbation works, then so be it. When my ex-wife first stopped being interested in sex (she had some major hormone problems due to losing her ovaries), I thought porn and masturbation would solve things.

She began complaining I was doing that and told me to find a girl.

It's not all it was cracked up to be when you find someone you really click with.

For most married / long term relationships under 30, once to twice a week is average. As you approach 60, that drops to about once per month.

That's all just averages though. I am 43 and she is 42 and usually the minimum I have sex is 7 times a week and usually at least 10.

 

[PliotronX]

If you aren't having sex that much with kids, you probably weren't really having sex that much without them.

Yeeeahh, no. Me and the missus had a rate of at least once per day rain or shine. First daughter in February. It's been about once or twice a week since then. In all honesty it's not entirely her lack of interest either, I'm tired from the baby crying at night as well. I imagine when she settles down, and just before she learns to walk, the frequency of interludes may go up but yeah this is a real occurrence. Kids are cockblockers, no two ways about it.

 

[z1ggy]

Are you married and have kids? How old are you?

no & no, 26.

But I did live with my ex gf for 2 years so I have some experience in being in a long term relationship such as that.

I understand relationships are complex, etc etc but I think a lot of times there is a direct correlation between people's satisfaction with sex and the overall happiness they feel in respect to the relationship.

For some people, once a month may be enough to satisfy them, or for others it might be 4 times a week. If their needs are not being met, it will begin to upset them, and overall the relationship will slowly fade into what the couple in the OP now have.

Kids complicate things, but.. they do sleep ya know. When they are in bed, there's still time for a quickie or a little time to mess around.

 

[Wyndru]

Here's a question that will add a lot of insight.

How many of you guys who think it's OK to go a week or 2 or more without sex

1) Fap to porn

2) Tell your wives about it

3) Have wives that think it's OK?

Odd choices, since you left out that the man may also think it's ok.... how is this such a foreign concept to some men? We are talking a week or two here.... Not months. Even after a couple of weeks my wife is usually bugging me for sex. Time flies by and it's not a priority. It doesn't mean we are disconnected romantically... It's just a couple of weeks.

I don't get stressed about it because there are way more important things going on our lives right now.

I don't get to the point that I absolutely need it on a regular schedule where I pout if I don't have it. It seems some people look at it as some evil plan that women eventually stop having sex with you, or that they are lazy.

When the kids aren't around (i.e. grand parent visits) we still take care of business.

 

[alkemyst]

Yeeeahh, no. Me and the missus had a rate of at least once per day rain or shine. First daughter in February. It's been about once or twice a week since then. In all honesty it's not entirely her lack of interest either, I'm tired from the baby crying at night as well. I imagine when she settles down, and just before she learns to walk, the frequency of interludes may go up but yeah this is a real occurrence. Kids are cockblockers, no two ways about it.

once to twice per week is totally understandable with what is more or less an infant.

Once a child starts sleeping through the night, a parent should get them in bed by 8-9pm, and allow themselves their adult time. The problem I think is too many just let the kids and themselves play video games or watch movies way too late.

 

[chihlidog]

Odd choices, since you left out that the man may also think it's ok.... how is this such a foreign concept to some men? We are talking a week or two here.... Not months. Even after a couple of weeks my wife is usually bugging me for sex. Time flies by and it's not a priority. It doesn't mean we are disconnected romantically... It's just a couple of weeks.

I don't get stressed about it because there are way more important things going on our lives right now.

I don't get to the point that I absolutely need it on a regular schedule where I pout if I don't have it. It seems some people look at it as some evil plan that women eventually stop having sex with you, or that they are lazy.

When the kids aren't around (i.e. grand parent visits) we still take care of business.

No, you mistake me.

I'm suggesting that healthy young men and most healthy older men have a desire for regular sex. And if that isnt coming from the wife, then it's coming from fapping, whether to porn or not.

I mean this as a general rule and of course there will be exceptions. But I dont know too many guys that are gonna go a week without a release.


So if that isnt coming from the wife, is the couple OK with where it DOES come from?

 

[vi edit]

I'm 36 and have a 2 year old and a 6 year old. There's definitely something to be said about that first year or so. If Mom is breast feeding and kiddo is up more often or they just aren't sound sleepers it's a very exhausting household.

Get past that 2 year mark though and things are much better. Kids are in bed by 7:30-8:00 most nights and are sound sleepers. We have more sex now than we did 10 years ago. 2-3 days in a row is not uncommon. We enjoy it more now than we ever have, and just appreciate the time together more than we did before. It's all in what you make of it. Sure there are nights where I'm ready to go to bed at 9:00PM. But there are other nights where we'll stay up until 1:00AM having fun. We pay for it the next day...but that's why God invented coffee.

 

[Fritzo]

QFT

Since the birth of our daughter, all I want to do in bed is sleep. Pretty sad

Yep. That doesn't end until they learn to drive and start taking off for hours at a time. Then you can't get in the mood because you're worried SHE'S out having sex

 

[alkemyst]

Yep. That doesn't end until they learn to drive and start taking off for hours at a time. Then you can't get in the mood because you're worried SHE'S out having sex

In reality, kids are going to have sex one day. If you didn't prepare them for it then that's why you need to worry.

 

[Train]

Can't believe this thread is going on 12 pages now. Lots of guys in here not getting laid enough by their SO's and are projecting their frustrations...

Or rationalizing their frustrations. Pick your pole.

 

[DAPUNISHER]

Could not be bothered to read the whole thread. Doubtless covered in here already. But, she goes to bed after the gym without showering. No wonder she feels gross; she is.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

But I did live with my ex gf for 2 years so I have some experience in being in a long term relationship such as that.

Kids complicate things, but.. they do sleep ya know. When they are in bed, there's still time for a quickie or a little time to mess around.

I'm willing to bet that if you come back and read these words 30 years or so down the road, your immediate reaction will be "Holy shit, I didn't know anything." I'm not saying your other point is wrong, ie different people will want different things out of a relationship. I'm just confident that after you've been in a relationship for 10+ years, you'll realize that 2 years is NOT long term, and that "kids complicate things" might be slightly underselling the effect that children can have on sexual activity in a relationship.

 

[alkemyst]

Could not be bothered to read the whole thread. Doubtless covered in here already. But, she goes to bed after the gym without showering. No wonder she feels gross; she is.

Depends when the gym outing occurred. Most women don't get BO from their sweat short term like guys do. Workouts can get them primed for pumping.

 

[alkemyst]

I'm willing to bet that if you come back and read these words 30 years or so down the road, your immediate reaction will be "Holy shit, I didn't know anything." I'm not saying your other point is wrong, ie different people will want different things out of a relationship. I'm just confident that after you've been in a relationship for 10+ years, you'll realize that 2 years is NOT long term, and that "kids complicate things" might be slightly underselling the effect that children can have on sexual activity in a relationship.

I agree on 2 years being no where near long term.

Maybe 6-12 months to mess around, even prior to thinking of getting serious.

2 years is a good stepping out point.

 

[PricklyPete]

I don't really agree that kids affect sex life...at least that has not been the case for my wife and I. We are 2 months in after having twins and we are pretty much back to where we were before the pregnancy. I will say that it likely helps that she stays home with the kids. If we both worked, I think our exhaustion would definitely hinder.

 

[MiniDoom]

I don't really agree that kids affect sex life...at least that has not been the case for my wife and I. We are 2 months in after having twins and we are pretty much back to where we were before the pregnancy. I will say that it likely helps that she stays home with the kids. If we both worked, I think our exhaustion would definitely hinder.

same, we have a 5 and 2 year old and still continue to get busy at least 3-4 times a week.