My wife just texted me and told me babcia was picking up the kids from day care and bringing them to her house for a few hours. I replied... Quickie? Otherwise I'll have to update the spreadsheet. I'm pretty sure I'm good to go now.
I guess when you have absolutely nothing to say in response to valid answers that directly oppose your idiotic view of the world, you resort to what can only be described as utterly hilarious jokes. On a more serious note, you're never going to be good to go. Once a douche, always a douche.
having kids is the only criteria that matters in this debate.
I guess when you have absolutely nothing to say in response to valid answers that directly oppose your idiotic view of the world, you resort to what can only be described as utterly hilarious jokes. On a more serious note, you're never going to be good to go. Once a douche, always a douche.
The problem with this whole internet on this is that too many are confusing sex as the primary reason for their issue. It likely is not. There might be other issues at play, but even absent those, her lack of interest in sex is making him feel unloved and unappreciated. He's taking a direct hit to his self esteem in the process and sooner or later somebody else is going to fill that void for him whether it be his wife or not.
It isn't about him getting off, but the fact that he is missing that physical connection to his wife. It pisses me off to no end when people equate men to simplistic fucking machines. If we are single and young? Fuck yeah... But when we marry the one we chose as the "one" or what ever BS you want to frame it as we generally are also in the sex portion of it for that complete connection to our spouse. In marriage counseling, some call it his and her love language. It is different for a female than it is for a male.
To give you an example... My wife and I had intimacy issues. No amount of communication was solving it. No amount of fighting was solving it. Posturing to leave or get a mistress scared her enough to respond for a few weeks and then it was back to her same behavior... She was happy in the marriage, she had everything she wanted. The ability to stay at home ( even before we had kids), a decent car, roof over her head, financial security, and a hard working husband. She was oblivious to what her frigidity was causing with me and our marriage. She was oblivious to her responsibility to ensure I was happy and had what I needed. I once withheld all affection from her. I stopped initiating hugs, kisses, goodnights, etc. After a few days she was aware something was missing. After a week she was in tears asking me to explain why I was being so distant. The epiphany should have been that she wasn't getting what she needed and a lesson was learned. In the short term it fixed it, after a month she went back to her new married self and was oblivious once again.
It took multiple rounds of marriage counseling. It took a fairly traumatic additional lesson for us both to learn. It took the time ( years) to study the situation, study her and realize that she had a pronounced anxiety disorder (coupled with a few twists) that was impacting her desire to be intimate. She hid much of it from me while we were dating and it slowly manifested itself and became worse over several years of marriage.
So my point was it isn't just about "sex". My wife used to believe that it was normal not to have intimacy for weeks on end because well, every marriage is like that. I always took the stance that it was BS to lump everyone in one bucket. Yes, every marriage has similar issues... What drives the issues can be a completely different animal from one marriage to the next.
I think my wife and I are lucky that I had the patience, the logic, and what ever else it took to stick it out and figure it out. I almost quit several times in the process and each time I found something that I needed to follow through on just to be sure. I think my wife was equally surprised to get to identify her anxiety disorder and get it managed.
I feel for this guy as the situation feels very familiar. Familiar enough that I can't really take her side at all absent additional facts. This is a marriage that is ending though. If my wife posted that to some internet forum and I saw it - with all of it's self serving gaping holes of truth I'd have papers served to her the minute she got home.
Wonder if he got rich in the next year or two from a lucky investment, business or the lottery would they do it more. That's pie in the sky I know, they sound like regular working people from that article.
I HAVE THE SOLUTION TO ALL OUR PROBLEMS!
Every man should create a spreadsheet of why women won't sleep with them, but also when they DO sleep with them. We will then upload all these spreadsheets into a giant database, perform some data mining and pattern recognition, then devise the perfect methodology for getting laid.
I win.
Holy shit Dan, apart from one or two minor differences you just described the last 12 years of my life!
It's like you just scanned my brain somehow and created a synopsis of what you found in the folder labeled "Us". I'm seriously a little creeped out right now. Not sure if I should chalk that up to a common situation for couples in this day and age or if I should start checking my place for hidden cameras and mics.
your example is not applicable, as I'm sure has probably been pointed out to you. You haven't raised kids from birth.
You are completely oblivious of the day-to-day, and much importantly: night-to-night of those first cumbersome 2 years, as well as the first 7 or so years.
The problem with this whole internet on this is that too many are confusing sex as the primary reason for their issue. It likely is not. There might be other issues at play, but even absent those, her lack of interest in sex is making him feel unloved and unappreciated. He's taking a direct hit to his self esteem in the process and sooner or later somebody else is going to fill that void for him whether it be his wife or not.
It isn't about him getting off, but the fact that he is missing that physical connection to his wife. It pisses me off to no end when people equate men to simplistic fucking machines. If we are single and young? Fuck yeah... But when we marry the one we chose as the "one" or what ever BS you want to frame it as we generally are also in the sex portion of it for that complete connection to our spouse. In marriage counseling, some call it his and her love language. It is different for a female than it is for a male.
To give you an example... My wife and I had intimacy issues. No amount of communication was solving it. No amount of fighting was solving it. Posturing to leave or get a mistress scared her enough to respond for a few weeks and then it was back to her same behavior... She was happy in the marriage, she had everything she wanted. The ability to stay at home ( even before we had kids), a decent car, roof over her head, financial security, and a hard working husband. She was oblivious to what her frigidity was causing with me and our marriage. She was oblivious to her responsibility to ensure I was happy and had what I needed. I once withheld all affection from her. I stopped initiating hugs, kisses, goodnights, etc. After a few days she was aware something was missing. After a week she was in tears asking me to explain why I was being so distant. The epiphany should have been that she wasn't getting what she needed and a lesson was learned. In the short term it fixed it, after a month she went back to her new married self and was oblivious once again.
It took multiple rounds of marriage counseling. It took a fairly traumatic additional lesson for us both to learn. It took the time ( years) to study the situation, study her and realize that she had a pronounced anxiety disorder (coupled with a few twists) that was impacting her desire to be intimate. She hid much of it from me while we were dating and it slowly manifested itself and became worse over several years of marriage.
So my point was it isn't just about "sex". My wife used to believe that it was normal not to have intimacy for weeks on end because well, every marriage is like that. I always took the stance that it was BS to lump everyone in one bucket. Yes, every marriage has similar issues... What drives the issues can be a completely different animal from one marriage to the next.
I think my wife and I are lucky that I had the patience, the logic, and what ever else it took to stick it out and figure it out. I almost quit several times in the process and each time I found something that I needed to follow through on just to be sure. I think my wife was equally surprised to get to identify her anxiety disorder and get it managed.
I feel for this guy as the situation feels very familiar. Familiar enough that I can't really take her side at all absent additional facts. This is a marriage that is ending though. If my wife posted that to some internet forum and I saw it - with all of it's self serving gaping holes of truth I'd have papers served to her the minute she got home.
Sadly, most of the time these sex issues post children are due to falling out of love or never really been in it for the parents. They end up with something new to focus their love and attention on and just go through the motions of living with their spouses.
I have to work days and then overnights sometimes and still manage to find time for sex. Being a parent doesn't require 30-36 hours straight work and still having to get up the next day.
If a woman doesn't feel good about themselves or feel sexy they don't want to be intimate.
By the way you do realize chores are an equal opportunity for all in a household right? It isn't just a womans job. If you eat off those dishes you can wash them too. I mean just how lazy are you? It takes me all of 10 minutes to do the dishes.
"Men who do wife’s chores get less sex, study says"
http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/free/20130130men-chores-sex-study.html
I'll win because I won't datamine the reasons... just the women who say no the least.
"Men who do wifes chores get less sex, study says"
http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/free/20130130men-chores-sex-study.html
bitches be crazy.
my boyfriend has learned that if he wants to get my sex drive from a 0 to 100 instantly, let me walk in the door to find a clean apartment and dinner on the stove. otherwise, by the time I cook dinner, clean up, take care of the cats, etc... all I want to do is pass out and be left alone.
We should totally fuck.... Or wife swap for the fun of it... Or share a beer. I am leaning towards beer.
I hope I didn't cause you to go to your dark place.