Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex

[thestrangebrew1]

They may not be compatible and age might be an issue too (although I think there are plenty mature 26 y/o couples who have a healthy marriage, at least now). I think though, that if this guy really sucked, as a wife, she should be teaching him how to please her and vice versa instead of trying to find all these excuses. The lack of intimacy and all the excuses would easily make one assume that the wife is cheating on him already.

 

[smackababy]

Yes women like that should not get married but it's also his fault for marrying her. I've never been married but I can't assume that all of a sudden once the ring goes on, their vagina goes dry. There's gotta be long standing reasons for it even before marriage, signs, something but I'm sure most people ignore those which is why the divorce rate is so high which is why I don't want to get married.

I think a lot of that is the expectation to keep up a high sex drive, likely far higher than the women actually has, to impress the man. Once the relationship progresses to marriage, the women relaxes and the man feels like it has "dried up", when it was only that the pussy market was artificially inflated.


In reality, most relationships like that won't work. If they are not sexual compatible, one party with the higher sex drive is likely to cheat unless some kind of arrangement can be made (open relationship, strictly sex type thing).

There is also likely a communication break down.

 

[nageov3t]

they both come across as passive aggressive and unable to communicate.

the wife obviously doesn't want to have sex for whatever reason and is making excuses rather than talking it directly, and the husband should maybe get a clue and talk to the wife instead of begging for sex every day.

for all I know, she could be working a high-stress job and coming home from work to discover her husband on the couch watching tv, piles of laundry all over the house, and dinner not even started yet. that wouldn't exactly put me in the mood for sex either.

 

[fleshconsumed]

I have a hard time finding fault with him. I mean his method certainly wasn't the best, but the message is really what's important. He was frustrated and didn't think it all the way through, but 3/27 is a pretty low hit rate. Whatever underlying issue is causing their problem needs to obviously be addressed. He should apologize for the way he went about this, but not for keeping track and objectively showing her what's happening.

Couldn't have said it better. They either need to fix this or get a divorce. This is not normal, and the guy is clearly miserable.

Of course we're only seeing his side of the story, there may be more to this. However, 3 times in 7 weeks and they're only 26? What the hell?

P.S. I'm betting this spreadsheet was made as a "proof" of an earlier argument that the sex was not happening enough and the wife dismissing it. In which case a spreadsheet like this is actually appropriate solution. If there was a disagreement in subjective perceptions of sex frequency, a spreadsheet like this is the only objective way to settle that argument once and for all.

 

[Ancalagon44]

They both sound immature and it would not surprise me if this was the first serious relationship for both of them.

Also, I would be curious to know if they waited for marriage before doing it for the first time?

He is probably not putting much effort into seduction, and she is putting all sorts of excuses first. Neither is communicating with the other one and he is now bitter because of the way he has been treated. Both will need to work on communication and intimacy for this to work. If she feels taken advantage of because she does all of the housework, then she needs to speak up. If he feels neglected because he is not getting any, he needs to speak up.

Chances are there is something else going on in her life that she does not want to talk about.

 

[smackababy]

they both come across as passive aggressive and unable to communicate.

the wife obviously doesn't want to have sex for whatever reason and is making excuses rather than talking it directly, and the husband should maybe get a clue and talk to the wife instead of begging for sex every day.

for all I know, she could be working a high-stress job and coming home from work to discover her husband on the couch watching tv, piles of laundry all over the house, and dinner not even started yet. that wouldn't exactly put me in the mood for sex either.

The problem is the husband doesn't state how he asked for sex, which might be part of the problem. My GF showed me some picture of a text message exchange where a guy was bitching that his GF never had sex with him and her reply was "You might be more successful if you didn't ask with 'Let me get at them titties, girl.'" I, now, make sure to ask the GF at least once a day using the above method. It has yet to actually work. =(

 

[nageov3t]

The problem is the husband doesn't state how he asked for sex, which might be part of the problem. My GF showed me some picture of a text message exchange where a guy was bitching that his GF never had sex with him and her reply was "You might be more successful if you didn't ask with 'Let me get at them titties, girl.'" I, now, make sure to ask the GF at least once a day using the above method. It has yet to actually work. =(

it's true.

sometimes my boyfriend just walks over and thwacks me in the arm with his penis. that's never, ever going to lead to sex, especially if I'm busy playing Skyrim.

 

[glenn1]

Shoulda used Open Office instead of Microsoft products if he didn't want to kill the mood.

 

[nehalem256]

Shoulda used Open Office instead of Microsoft products if he didn't want to kill the mood.

iSexTracker?

 

[smackababy]

Shoulda used Open Office instead of Microsoft products if he didn't want to kill the mood.

Yeah! Nothing says sex like "I'm too poor to afford a product used by damn near everyone; accept my substitute please?"

 

[Blackjack200]

IMO, if that means she should not be expected to have sex with him, then he should not have to be faithful to her.

You know there is always the option of finding an escort.. if he wants to stay married, or just divorcing if there isn't a lot of property and money involved.

If they are not sexual compatible, one party with the higher sex drive is likely to cheat unless some kind of arrangement can be made (open relationship, strictly sex type thing).

The problem with these "solutions" is that many (most?) guys do want an emotional connection to the person that they're sleeping with. So maybe an open relationship or polyamory or something would be needed rather than escorts or fuck buddies.

 

[Oldgamer]

IMO, if that means she should not be expected to have sex with him, then he should not have to be faithful to her.

I'm not suggesting that she should give in EVERY time to EVERY demand, but really? Guys are guys. We're wired to enjoy sex. WHat adult does not know this? This expectation that a lot of women seem to have now that the poor hubby will get whatever she doles out and is expected to be happy with that chaps my ass.

Oh one other thing, and I just wanted to add to this. Women should be taught how to please a man just as well. I mean it is a give and take. It isn't all on us to give pleasure and for women to just lay back and receive. If a women really cares and loves her partner she would want to put in just as much effort to please him as he does her. It isn't just a one sided deal. I think some young girls especially really pretty ones get things handed to them and are so catered to that they are never taught this.

Now on that note, I also think that some men have a "sex entitlement" problem in this day in age too. Marriage doesn't necessarily mean sex on demand. It means your committed to a partner and friend for life. Sex is just the icing on the cake.

 

[Oldgamer]

The problem with these "solutions" is that many (most?) guys do want an emotional connection to the person that they're sleeping with. So maybe an open relationship or polyamory or something would be needed rather than escorts or fuck buddies.

Yea, true it all depends on the situation and what the guy is looking or I guess. If he just wants sex and nothing more and wants to keep his wife, his love interest in his life I guess an escort would do. (provided he doesn't get caught..lol). Open relationships are good, if you can find a woman willing to go that route.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Shoulda used Open Office instead of Microsoft products if he didn't want to kill the mood.

That would only accomplish her getting a fucked up version with poor formatting and probably only a subset of features. He chose to make sure she actually saw the spreadsheet as it was intended to be seen.

 

[Fritzo]

This is SO something I would do Priorities in my wife's life are:

1) Real Housewives of New Jersey.
2) Real Housewives of Orange County
3) Any crime show where they have 48 hours to solve the case
4) Any show involving murder
5) Any reality show that involves people living together and shouting at each other
6) Servicing my penis

 

[chihlidog]

Or she could, you know, make an effort to be sexual even if it's not the first thing on her list at the time. Kinda like how guys should, you know, LISTEN to their wives even if we dont feel like conversation. Or get he rflowers or make her dinner even if it's not the most interesting thing for us at that moment. We do it because we love our spouse.

How is this any different?

If a guy stops talking to a woman, she'd freak. Meanwhile I and most guys I know could go weeks with little more than grunts, yeses and nos. The woman certainly wouldnt accept that. It's her emotional connection to a guy and she needs it. Well, guys emotional connection to their wives is sex.

Again, if she doesnt like that then she should not be married. Shoulda left him for someone that would recognize a guy's need for it.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Couldn't have said it better. They either need to fix this or get a divorce. This is not normal, and the guy is clearly miserable.

Of course we're only seeing his side of the story, there may be more to this. However, 3 times in 7 weeks and they're only 26? What the hell?

P.S. I'm betting this spreadsheet was made as a "proof" of an earlier argument that the sex was not happening enough and the wife dismissing it. In which case a spreadsheet like this is actually appropriate solution. If there was a disagreement in subjective perceptions of sex frequency, a spreadsheet like this is the only objective way to settle that argument once and for all.

That's exactly what this was - proof to refute her dismissive claims that she didn't turn him down very often. Now she can't argue with that claim and she's forced to deal with the actual issue. I still think his method of delivery and subsequent cold-turkey cessation of contact wasn't a good idea, but I find zero fault with him for creating documentation. I'm confident this wasn't the first time the issue was raised.

 

[chihlidog]

Oh one other thing, and I just wanted to add to this. Women should be taught how to please a man just as well. I mean it is a give and take. It isn't all on us to give pleasure and for women to just lay back and receive. If a women really cares and loves her partner she would want to put in just as much effort to please him as he does her. It isn't just a one sided deal. I think some young girls especially really pretty ones get things handed to them and are so catered to that they are never taught this.

Now on that note, I also think that some men have a "sex entitlement" problem in this day in age too. Marriage doesn't necessarily mean sex on demand. It means your committed to a partner and friend for life. Sex is just the icing on the cake.

Agree fully with the first paragraph.

Disagree fully with the second. It's not icing on the cake. It's a fundamental aspect of marriage. If it ISNT important, then why cant we go out and do it with anyone else? I mean, it either DOES or DOESNT mean a ton....if it doesnt, then it shouldnt be a big deal if he goes out and gets his rocks off with someone else. Right? If it's just the icing on the cake, no big deal, then it shouldnt be a big deal if he gets his willy wet somewhere else.

I'm betting his wife would disagree.

And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

This is SO something I would do Priorities in my wife's life are:

1) Real Housewives of New Jersey.
2) Real Housewives of Orange County
3) Any crime show where they have 48 hours to solve the case
4) Any show involving murder
5) Any reality show that involves people living together and shouting at each other
6) Servicing my penis

Maybe if your penis had its own TV show it could move up the list. That's an avenue to explore.

 

[IronWing]

She's an overeating, sweaty, gross drunk and he wants to boink?

 

[surfsatwerk]

it's true.

sometimes my boyfriend just walks over and thwacks me in the arm with his penis. that's never, ever going to lead to sex, especially if I'm busy playing Skyrim.

The grass is always greener... *sigh* I guess my plans to go gay weren't such a great idea after all.

 

[JEDIYoda]

They are probably both fat pigs.

It`s sad that there would be another couple like you and your wife, huh??

 

[mirageracerx]

"I'm feeling sweaty and gross"...this makes me think a little bit. I think that excuse right there leads people to the assumption of cheating. i find it funny that she was the one that posted it up. i mean what does she expect people to think?

 

[smackababy]

I am surprised no one has brought this up, but who the fuck goes the gym and then climbs their sweaty ass into bed? I'd divorce her right then, if it were me. Take a fucking show...

 

[nageov3t]

The grass is always greener... *sigh* I guess my plans to go gay weren't such a great idea after all.

I think we still have a lot of sex... just not when I'm super into a video game (if I'm just screwing around in like a Civ game or something, that's a different story) or first thing in the morning.

we moved in together a couple months ago, and sex went way down initially because he was basically doing no housework and I was stressed all the time (suddenly having to do twice the laundry, twice the dishes, and having one extra person plus his 2 cats to pick up after). but like adults, we actually talked about it, he stepped up to help out more around the house, and my sex drive went back up as my stress levels went down.