MARRIAGE = GAMBLE?

[Electric Amish]

I don't see it as a gamble.

There has never been a doubt about me and my wife's life together...with or without the deprecated institution of marriage.

 

[prvteye2003]

some of these reasons given are the exact reasons why you all are lonely now is will die that way.

 

[Koing]

Only to Americans man

j/k

Koing

 

[Kadarin]

Marriage, in a sense, is irrelevant to this discussion; what matters is the long-term relationship.

 

[BigToque]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
I don't see it as a gamble.

There has never been a doubt about me and my wife's life together...with or without the deprecated institution of marriage.

Didn't you say a long time ago that you have sex with people other than your wife? Or you have threesomes all the time or something to that extent? How can you do that and not have it affect your relationship? I could never share my girl with anyone else.

 

[JonnyBlaze]

they are both bad

but at least with gambeling there is a chance of winning!

JB

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Originally posted by: rbhawcroft

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
A 50% divorce rate only tells a small part of the story. Factor in those who can't get divorced due to religious reasons, those who don't get divorced because of the kids, those who don't get divorced due to economics, those who simply decide to shun their partners and cheat because it's more convenient and those who might remain technically married as a sham to keep insurance benefits and now do the math. The percentage of marriages that turnout badly is closer to 80% than it is to 50%. Hell, the infidelity rate alone is close to 70%.Marriage is a piece of paper, period. It's a legal arrangement that has nothing to do with love or lifetime commitment. It essentially stipulates who has what rights when the union ends. If your word is good, you can commit to a person without a piece of paper. If your word isn't good, no marriage vows will change that or prevent the divorce.

cool. except if chances dont come round too often you take what you get offerered ehh?

That's the whole problem. Rather than finding the person you should be with it's "well, I might not get another chance..." Why don't you see that attitude as being a recipe for disaster?

Remember, marriage is never "Til death do us part". It's always "We'll stay married until either one of us wants out, then we'll tear up the marriage license as the worthless piece of paper it is".

 

[SackOfAllTrades]

Women are unreliable and not to be loved, only manipulated and exploited. Timebomb!

 

[robh23]

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt

Originally posted by: rbhawcroft

Originally posted by: GagHalfruntA 50% divorce rate only tells a small part of the story. Factor in those who can't get divorced due to religious reasons, those who don't get divorced because of the kids, those who don't get divorced due to economics, those who simply decide to shun their partners and cheat because it's more convenient and those who might remain technically married as a sham to keep insurance benefits and now do the math. The percentage of marriages that turnout badly is closer to 80% than it is to 50%. Hell, the infidelity rate alone is close to 70%.Marriage is a piece of paper, period. It's a legal arrangement that has nothing to do with love or lifetime commitment. It essentially stipulates who has what rights when the union ends. If your word is good, you can commit to a person without a piece of paper. If your word isn't good, no marriage vows will change that or prevent the divorce.

cool. except if chances dont come round too often you take what you get offerered ehh?

That's the whole problem. Rather than finding the person you should be with it's "well, I might not get another chance..." Why don't you see that attitude as being a recipe for disaster?Remember, marriage is never "Til death do us part". It's always "We'll stay married until either one of us wants out, then we'll tear up the marriage license as the worthless piece of paper it is".

no i meant you. ive got who i want.

 

[Chiropteran]

It's not a gamble. When you gamble, there is a chance of winning.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Stefan

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
I don't see it as a gamble.

There has never been a doubt about me and my wife's life together...with or without the deprecated institution of marriage.

Didn't you say a long time ago that you have sex with people other than your wife? Or you have threesomes all the time or something to that extent? How can you do that and not have it affect your relationship? I could never share my girl with anyone else.

I am not sure on Electric's take on this, but in general there is a large minority that do not equate sex as any different than a weekend card game with another couple. They have separated love from sex.

If you took a child and always told them that same belief they would grow up and think that way as well. In contrast, we are taught sex is taboo, sex is wrong, etc etc etc.

I can't say I'd be happy with my wife cheating on me. However, let's say she came up to me and told me she has a need to be with other men. That would be something I would have to think about. I am not sure if that in and of itself would be enough for me to just say it's divorce time.

Å

 

[Ornery]

I don't gamble. I don't believe in luck or chance. Going on 27 years this July...

THE STATISTICS ARE STAGGERING:

• o 1300 new stepfamilies are forming every day.
  o Over 50% of US families are remarried or re-coupled.
  o The average marriage in America lasts only seven years.
  o One out of two marriages ends in divorce.
  o 75% remarry
  o 66% of those living together or remarried break up, when children are involved.
  o 80% of remarried, or re-coupled, partners with children both have careers.
  o 50% of the 60 million children under the age of 13 are currently living with one biological parent and that parent's current partner.
  o The 1990 US Census stated there will be more stepfamilies than original families by the year 2000
  o The 2000 US Census did not mention stepfamilies. According to the Stepfamily Foundation's estimates more than 50% of divorced fathers children visit their children. These children do not legally "reside" with their fathers. So, neither government nor academic research include these fathers and their children as stepfamilies. They are completely ignored and uncounted. Thus, boosting the numbers to well over 50% of US families. o 2 out 3 marriages under taking place under 30 years of age end in divorce.(US Census)

 

[XZeroII]

It's not if you both work at it. The problem is that people are arrogant and think that they are always right. If both accept that it takes compromise and work, then it's not a gamble at all.

 

[hytek369]

everything you do is a gamble. there is always a certain amount of risk in any decision you choose

 

[Jfrag Teh Foul]

The reason that there is a 50% divorce rate in this country... people simply don't respect or know the person they are marrying. I dated my wife for 3 years before we got engaged, and after that we waited another 3 years to finally get married. By the time we married we knew and loved each other... not just knew each others name. If people would just take the time necessary to know your future spouse I guarantee you that the divorce rate would drop by 50% immediately. I have seen too many of my friends and family jump up and get married almost as soon as they met a person and within a couple of years they divorce and hate one another.

Say what you will, but actual love is never a gamble.

 

[BladeWalker]

People shouldn't marry so young. Majority of failed marriages are young couples. Couples should just wait until they are absolutely certain.

 

[SSibalNom]

think of it this way, you get married...... half your "time" becomes community property, so everything you make is technically considered both of yours...... if she decides to sit on her ass and do nothing all day, and you get a higher paying job making a whole lot more, half of it is all hers in the end!

so you have a 50% chance of losing 50% of your assets obtained within the time off marriage, now thats a gamble

 

[steveeast112]

The problem with American culture today is that we're way too impatient and sex-crazed. Like many people in this topic have said, you need to spend time with the prospective person that youre marrying in order to truly know if they're the one. It's like anything in life. If you spend time with something, it will become better and better each day. I know that my parents are in the minority of couples because they are still married, and thats really sad. They make compromises, they have fights, but all in all they are very happy. Divorce hurts everyone involved- no wonder theres such a large proportion of people with mental problems. I'm not saying that all mental problems are caused by divorce, but many of them are, and because people feel that their parents can't keep a sane marriage, they are more likely to divorce themselves.

Marriage is not for the faint of heart, and neither is sex. It takes a certain maturity to get married and have children. People have too many selfish desires to get a divorce that they often don't think of the children involved. As my networking teacher said last year, "It takes just a boy to have a child, but it takes a man to be a father." Those words are so true, and us selfish Americans would do good to think about someone other than ourselves.

Sorry for the long post!

 

[dirtboy]

Originally posted by: steveeast112
Divorce hurts everyone involved- no wonder theres such a large proportion of people with mental problems.

No always the case. I got divorced over two years ago and while I was hurt in the short run, I am much better off now than I would ever be with her.

 

[steveeast112]

Yes, but you did have a mental problem at the time, and I presume either therapy or medication. You proved my point. Thanks.

 

[dirtboy]

Originally posted by: steveeast112
Yes, but you did have a mental problem at the time, and I presume either therapy or medication. You proved my point. Thanks.

No mental problem, no therapy, and no medication.

You're welcome, I'll be happy disprove more of your points any time.

Maybe you can come back later and make some more unsupported generalizations about people.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: steveeast112
Yes, but you did have a mental problem at the time, and I presume either therapy or medication. You proved my point. Thanks.

Have you been married? Giving advice about one without ever being in one is like thinking you know what living with a chick or a roommate is like because you have a sister/brother at home. Your mommy and daddy staying together until you leave home is not a good statistic. The older crowd was not so accepting of divorce as the younger generation is. They want quick and easy. The older crowd will just put up with a lifetime of misery if it comes down to it and cheat on the side. It makes no sense to say "well, yeah they are screwing everyone but each other, but hey they are still married!"

My wife went nuts after she broke her neck....I tried to help her, but unfortunately like many parents do....her's interfered and told her lies that by getting her into counseling (I was going to go also and looking back I should have just done it alone), I was trying to get her Baker acted. They have no time to raise their kids, but all the time in the world once they are adults to pester and snoop, and just irreconcilably destroy a relationship.

I divorced, that was that. I was engaged another time, her parents talked her into funneling money out of our joint account to buy a townhouse and new mustang GT....both were bitter divorcees and would bring up the fact that marriage was a waste, even though they got married. My current wife has family only in Japan , not that all families are terrible.

Most people, and ATOT is a prime example, don't care what's really wrong or right as long as they are right. You can't do that in a marriage....or any relationship, if you don't follow rational thought it makes no point to attempt to communicate.

Sure there will be fights, sex drives that are not the same, different preferences in decor, clothing, food, hell even if you think it's ok to leave the bathmat down or if you have to hang it.....however no one wants to live with a clone.

Å

 

[NightCrawler]

Marriage is the lottery for women, they get the car, the house and the kids if they want. Men get to start all over agian with nothing.

 

[zener]

if you know who u r and don't need another person to tell you, then you might qualify for marriage but why get married?

marriage was and is only for transfer of property and for protecting the children which incidentally are not protected with a divorce.

tax laws have been written to benefit the man, not the woman and until women stop pretending to live a Cinderella life inside of marriage, then they will understand that not being married is more freeing

if you require spirituality using marriage then do so with the attitude that marriage may not last but your faith can
also, people didn't live as long and so in our age, marriages are tested by longevity

my parents have been maried for over 50 years but it lasted because my mom let my dad manipulate her because she was religiously taught to submit

Boy, was I screwed as I grew up and learned the hard way

women are stupid if they get married without a career and think their man will always support them

 

[steveeast112]

Originally posted by: NightCrawler
Marriage is the lottery for women, they get the car, the house and the kids if they want. Men get to start all over agian with nothing.

You're absolutely right. Women get what they want in court in a divorce hearing, and if they have a child they receive even more! How is that fair? Plus, once the money supply runs low, they can do it all over again! Gee, that makes sense. Guys are the ones that get screwed in divorces, but I think that if you spent enough time getting to know the woman (or man?) you wouldn't have a problem with this sh!t. The balance of power currently is way in the women's side of the court.