Moving out guiltiness

[HannibalX]

I completely agree with you. I could not care less what friends or women I was dating said when they found out I lived at home. I stayed with my family until I was 25. I helped with expenses, did chores, drove my mom and grandmother around and helped my dad around the yard etc... I bought a house at 24, rennovated it and then finally moved out at 25. If I had been "forced" to move out at 18 or dumb enough to move out at 18, I would not be in the place where I am today. Wasting money on cheap, dirty ghetto apartments just for the price of freedom was some thing so many ppl I know did. Stupid....

That wasn't my experience at all. I never lived in a crummy apartment, but then again I started working when I was 15, bought my first car at 15 (paid cash with no help) and when I moved out at 18 I had been at my job 3 years, two of them full time and had plenty of money for a nice apartment in a middle-upper class part of town. Not everyone is an imbecile.

I think if you stay at home and do like you did, help your parents, that's fine, you moved out, bought a home, that's awesome but don't assume other people couldn't do the same thing without living at home. I also bought a home young and I never had any "buffer" time.

It all comes down to priorities, responsibility and work ethic. Some people have it, some people don't.

 

[bonkers325]

I'm 25 and live with my parents. I pay all the utility bills and property tax. They cook for me occasionally. For the most part, I'm independent and I only see them a couple of times a week in passing. They don't bother me, I don't bother them.

 

[NetWareHead]

Quote:
Originally Posted by NetWareHead View Post
I completely agree with you. I could not care less what friends or women I was dating said when they found out I lived at home. I stayed with my family until I was 25. I helped with expenses, did chores, drove my mom and grandmother around and helped my dad around the yard etc... I bought a house at 24, rennovated it and then finally moved out at 25. If I had been "forced" to move out at 18 or dumb enough to move out at 18, I would not be in the place where I am today. Wasting money on cheap, dirty ghetto apartments just for the price of freedom was some thing so many ppl I know did. Stupid....
That wasn't my experience at all. I never lived in a crummy apartment, but then again I started working when I was 15, bought my first car at 15 (paid cash with no help) and when I moved out at 18 I had been at my job 3 years, two of them full time and had plenty of money for a nice apartment in a middle-upper class part of town. Not everyone is an imbecile.

I think if you stay at home and do like you did, help your parents, that's fine, you moved out, bought a home, that's awesome but don't assume other people couldn't do the same thing without living at home. I also bought a home young and I never had any "buffer" time.

It all comes down to priorities, responsibility and work ethic. Some people have it, some people don't.

Sounds like you had your act together. I was speaking more or less about the people who turned 18 and were practically racing out the house with a suitcase and first month's rent in hand. All for what? Just for "freedom".

 

[Mide]

Pay off all debt, save up, then move out. Unless you got a GF and want/need privacy or something there is no real reason to...unless of course you still get harassed to cleanup your room and such.

 

[ichy]

Man, my mom would consider herself a failure as a parent if I lived at home until I was 25.

Same here. How the hell do you bring a girl back to your place if you're living with your parents?

 

[ichy]

Since I started college my parents were never closer than an eight hour flight away, so moving back home was never an option. I love my parents and get along very well with them, and I think part of the reason we have such a good relationship is that I don't have to see them every day! Don't get me wrong, I think they're awesome, but sharing a house with them at this point in my life would drive me up the wall.

 

[evident]

i'm 24 and i live w/ my parents and probably will till later this year. I bought a new car and paid it off, renovated my parents' 30 yr old house w/ new windows, doors, appliances, and have about $10K left on my student loans. I wouldn't have been able to do half of this if i had to dump $1200 a month into some landlord's bank acct every month. There's no shame in living at home in your early 20s if you have the ability to. Yeah, there are shortcomings, but thats a tradeoff that you need to decide if you can live with (freedom, how cool your parents are, etc) but it's a very smart financial move.

if you're living at home and aren't contributing shit though, you're a scumbag

 

[CoinOperatedBoy]

I was fully independent when I was in college.

Really? You paid for it in its entirety, plus your living expenses, with money you earned? That's not impossible, but it's rare, and not really an enviable state to be in.

 

[NesuD]

The empty nest is a scary thing for some parents. Just be patient with her she will get over it. My best friend offered my oldest son a spot on his development team after he finishes college. He would have to relocate to Ft Worth, TX. I told my wife, hey great news! Steve offered Patrick a job on his team at Lockheed when he graduates. She burst into tears. We live in Michigan. The thought of her baby going so far away made her cry. Moms and Dads have trouble letting go sometimes. Perfectly normal.

 

[Pantlegz]

Really? You paid for it in its entirety, plus your living expenses, with money you earned? That's not impossible, but it's rare, and not really an enviable state to be in.

I am doing this, paying for everything. I didn't while I was getting my AAS but with my BS I'm covering everything myself. I MAY get a loan this fall just to help out if I need it. But working full time and having a roommate is enough that I'm able to pay for everything and put away a few hundred every month for whatever. It would be much easier if I didn't have a 400/mo car payment but I HAD to have a newer car a few years ago...

Oh and my mom did the same thing when I moved out the second time. I moved back for a year when I split up with my ex just because I didn't have 2000 in the bank for dep+1st months rent. I decided to stay for about a year just to get caught up and living free was kinda nice. When I decided to move out again she kept hinting that she didn't want me to move out but I can't stand living at home.

 

[moshquerade]

I told my Mom that I'm moving out and she started crying and saying that she's a failed mother since her kid doesn't want to stay at home. There were other comments too that made me feel like crap. How do I avoid feeling so guilty? I'm going to be 25 soon and have a solid job and not much debt. How do you deal with aging parents? If I had to come home to help them I would in a heartbeat but I want a taste of the real world and being on my own....

My Dad still works and is capable, my Mom is sick and doesn't work anymore but is capable. I just feel like I'm abandoning them.

Just go, but tell them you'll be back to visit. It's your life, don't live it to please others all the time or you'll have a miserable existence.

 

[nageov3t]

this thread makes me laugh.

I left for college in the middle of August. when I came back home for Thanksgiving break, my bedroom had already been officially converted into the guest room, my sister had taken my tv/video games/stereo, and most of my other shit had been packed up and put in the attic.

 

[moshquerade]

this thread makes me laugh.

I left for college in the middle of August. when I came back home for Thanksgiving break, my bedroom had already been officially converted into the guest room, my sister had taken my tv/video games/stereo, and most of my other shit had been packed up and put in the attic.

Same here... it was like they thought I'd never come back home.
I chide them about it every now and then.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

sometimes children need to be the mature ones

 

[Red Squirrel]

Haha kinda reminds me when I bought my house a bit less then a year ago. My parents were surprised I wanted to leave so quick, at 23.

Just explain them it has nothing to do with them, just you want to have your own inderpendance, and that you'll still be around to visit often. I sometimes invite my parents over for pizza and stuff, and try to keep in touch often enough. If anything I see them at church anyway.

 

[tomt4535]

I just moved out of my mom's house, and I'm 23. It was getting too much, especially since I didn't go away to school. I now have a great job and not too much debt, except the house now. My mom wasn't too worried because she knew that I was independent enough. I only moved 40min away so I am still close enough to come back if she needs anything. I don't have a problem going back for a weekend and helping out around the house or something. I suggest you don't worry too much about moving out, and just stay somewhat close. If she ever needs something, I am just a short drive away.

 

[DaWhim]

nothing wrong with living at home, especially in the chinese culture. I don't see anything wrong being a free rider, also, living in NYC is not helping either.

I am planning some extended trips abroad, how's rent an apt just to put my junks gonna help that?

 

[dbk]

i'm moving out in few days...

 

[Red Squirrel]

i'm 24 and i live w/ my parents and probably will till later this year. I bought a new car and paid it off, renovated my parents' 30 yr old house w/ new windows, doors, appliances, and have about $10K left on my student loans. I wouldn't have been able to do half of this if i had to dump $1200 a month into some landlord's bank acct every month. There's no shame in living at home in your early 20s if you have the ability to. Yeah, there are shortcomings, but thats a tradeoff that you need to decide if you can live with (freedom, how cool your parents are, etc) but it's a very smart financial move.

if you're living at home and aren't contributing shit though, you're a scumbag

This.

There is living at home, and helping yourself (job, future plan etc) and helping your parents.

Then there's living at home, no job, don't do F all but play WoW all day. The first is good, the second just screems loser.

 

[Hacp]

I can understand people living with their parents in the city. The options are: stay with your parents in a nice neighborhood or rent a place in the bronx.

 

[Deeko]

Really? You paid for it in its entirety, plus your living expenses, with money you earned? That's not impossible, but it's rare, and not really an enviable state to be in.

Yes, I worked part time (meaning, like 30 hrs/week) during classes, plus my school was a 5 yr/3 6-month co-op school which involved full time paid internships, and I graduated with about 65k in loans.

I got scholarships and need based grants, maybe that takes away from your definition of "completely independent", but my parents were not paying for any of my expenses.

 

[lokiju]

Wow, my parents basically told us (brother and I) to GTFO or they were going to make us share a room together. I was 20 at the time and my brother was 23.

 

[xanis]

I'm in college, and I stay at home over the summer and over breaks. Next year is my senior year, and my parents told me that so long as I'm working, I can live at home after graduation. I plan on living at home for a year or two until I pay down some of student loan debt. Thanks to my grandparents I have roughly $40K in bonds/savings that will be used as a downpayment on a house or condo, and once I find that place, I'm gone. Living with my parents can be annoying but it makes financial sense to grin and bear it, at least for another 2-3 years.

 

[zhwu]

Are you the only child in the family? The most important question you need to ask yourself is: How are you getting along with your parents? (Are you arguing with your parents all the time? Do they still trying to control your life & your choices? )

Parents are the closest thing you will have (I put them on the same level as my children & spouse) in your life and most likely they will pass away from this world before you do. If you enjoy your time living with your parents and staying in their house means a lot to both of them, I don’t see any problem with staying with them just to make them happy. I always do my best to make my parents happy because I know they love me and I can count on them in a lot of situations where my other ‘friends’ will run away from me.


Living with your parent does not automatically makes you a loser. In fact, it can give you a huge head start (saves rent and eat a lot healthier.) I didn’t move out my parent’s house until I saved 20% down payment to purchase my dream home (a nice, big house in a good neighborhood.) If I moved out my parent’s house at the age of 18, it probably will take me an additional 8 years to get into a house like this. (I wisely invested the money I saved and have enough down payment ready in a down housing market as a first time home buyer.)

 

[EricMartello]

No, Polish.

How do you sink a polish ship?

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V


Put it in water.


AHAHAHAHA!! Sorry couldn't resist.