Dear Hiring Manager,
Firstly, you should be honored that your job listing was stimulating enough for me to deviate from my generic cover letter. There are a lot of jobs out there and I've passed on quite a few, but your listing seemed to embody so much of my existence that I couldn't pass it up.
I've worn all of the hats that you mentioned. I'm a writer/film maker, writing everything from limericks to short films ever since I could grab a number 2 pencil with my chubby, child like fingers (they're still rather chubby and child like, actually). I started a film production collective and adore writing, that's probably why this cover letter is far longer than it should be.
I'm a major database geek! I actually convinced the last company that I worked for to purchase File Maker Pro since they were using an ancient system that was crashing all the time. It wasn't efficient so I offered to pay for the software myself during a presentation to that Company's president. Luckily, my bluff worked and FileMaker Pro was purchased and a wonderful product database was created by me. Sure, I had to stay hours after work to set up the database but, still, I proved my point and my job was much easier after the database was created.
Part manager? People oriented? Great phone manners? Good at setting deadlines? All of these skills were required of me while I was a shift manager at Deutsch Bank. I'm also an amazing multitasker; right now I'm writing this cover letter, listening to Portishead, making waffles and juggling a small child. All kidding aside, my personality type demands that I multi task at all times.
This opportunity is strikingly exciting to me, I checked out your website and find your Company's work fascinating. I also find it rather sweet that your Company was founded by that happy looking couple. That's the kind of Company I want to work for, not a soulless multinational corporation.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please contact me if you are interested in meeting me for an interview or if you would like my resume sent in another format.
Thank you,