highland145
Lifer
- Oct 12, 2009
- 43,551
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That type of thing is very common. For those at the end of life, there is often a cliff that some seminal event (like a fall) will send them over it into a rapid decline. I would not be surprised if this was inevitable after a fall, especially if the hip fractured.It just escalated quickly when she got moved.
So grandma just kicked off this mortal coil. Don't worry she was old as hell and had dementia/lots of stuff wrong so her dying is fine.
Back to the bitch of an aunt. Grandma was living in one place and it was OK not great but OK. She fell and my aunt decided she "dying" and moved her to an assisted living facility and convinced a doctor she needed to be on hospice mainly to get medicaid to pay. So they put her on bed rest and pumped her full of liquid morphine.
Once again I'm not sad she died it would have been cruel to force her to stay alive but moving her sure did speed things along and there wasn't any need for it.
I hope when I'm in bad shape and near the end my caregivers speed up the obviously inevitable end a little by pumping me with morphine. Dragging out a prolonged, painful death has to be one of the most miserable things imaginable.
I hope when I'm in bad shape and near the end my caregivers speed up the obviously inevitable end a little by pumping me with morphine. Dragging out a prolonged, painful death has to be one of the most miserable things imaginable.
I'm very sorry for your loss. But I do agree with Magnus that ultimately it was one of her doctors that made the decision to admit her to hospice, no matter much your aunt may or may not have wanted it.
It may be hard to understand, but visitors who pop-in a few times a week may not be seeing the whole picture. They don't know what is a happening through the night, they don't know how the vital signs may be changing, they don't know how the medications are working or not working and if the dosage has changed.
I know quite a few nurses and none of them "like" to assist people in dying. However, when the inevitable is coming, those nurses are very businesslike and professional. It may seem cold and uncaring to an outsider.
Who were the people who assumed responsibility for Grandma's care? Only the aunt?
My condolences to the OP and his family.
Op, I can understand your attitude towards the situation but for your sake find a way to get past the distrust for your aunt; it may do harm to other family members who may feel caught in the middle between yourself and your aunt.
There isn't any way I'll get caught in the middle my aunt has ostracized her self out of the family with a long history of meddling.
I feel bad for my uncle because he's a pretty cool guy.
My grandmother entrusted power of attorney and her medical directives to her eldest son who she trusted. She did not ever like or trust my aunt.