My brother caught his wife! Update...

[ibintegra]

Originally posted by: vi_edit

Originally posted by: ibintegra
It's all perspective, if the husband is into the occasional porn, then he doesn't really have a right to say anything. Yes there is a difference of generic versus personal, but in the end it boils down to the same thing, doesn't it?

Doing 10 over the speed limit is speeding. So is doing 100 over. One is fairly low risk, but the other is quite dangerous. Same law though.

I don't get what you mean. I guess I should try to clarify what I was trying to say. To me, this situation is just wrong. It doesn't matter if it's cheating or not, it's plain wrong. But in many ways, it's cheating because you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing (in terms of being inside a marriage).

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

I've fought this battle many times around here.

There is a differnce between love and sex. They are not mutually inclusive.

Because of this, your comment isn't a low blow because I don't care what she did or with whom she did it with. The same way that she doesn't care that I boned another woman.

amish

There's no battle to be fought. We all know that your relationship with your wife is not considered normal. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is not for me to judge. If you're both truly happy with the situation, then I applaud you for being so open with one another. Personally, I could not even fathom being in your shoes.

All I can say is that you are missing out...

It feels sooooo good to let all the trivial sh!t this go.

I just feel bad that nobody else can see my point and enjoy this freedom. I'm not saying that just because you believe it you should act on it every chance you get. I'm just saying that if you accept it from the beginning you don't have to expend the energy worrying or pondering about the "If's".

amish

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
The point is that every couple decides for themselves what is allowed/not allowed in their marriages. It makes no difference what any of us think,in the end it's going to only matter what he thinks and if he views this as a violation of what they've agreed to between themselves.

Bingo.

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

I've fought this battle many times around here.

There is a differnce between love and sex. They are not mutually inclusive.

Because of this, your comment isn't a low blow because I don't care what she did or with whom she did it with. The same way that she doesn't care that I boned another woman.

amish

There's no battle to be fought. We all know that your relationship with your wife is not considered normal. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is not for me to judge. If you're both truly happy with the situation, then I applaud you for being so open with one another. Personally, I could not even fathom being in your shoes.

All I can say is that you are missing out...

It feels sooooo good to let all the trivial sh!t this go.

I just feel bad that nobody else can see my point and enjoy this freedom. I'm not saying that just because you believe it you should act on it every chance you get. I'm just saying that if you accept it from the beginning you don't have to expend the energy worrying or pondering about the "If's".

amish

what's the point of you being married ? ? why not just get a casual live in gf ??
wouldn't that be much better for you ? ?

no divorce to worry about ~
nothing to lose~ if she trys something kick her out~

 

[wyvrn]

 

[BatmanNate]

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: Isla
What's the difference between her doing that and married guys looking at porn? Or married guys going to strip clubs?

If he doesn't look at porn or go to strip clubs, then he has a right to be upset. But if he gets his jollies checking out other nekkid chicks...

The difference is that we don't get the Keyboard all stickey. "Hey Dear, your DNA is causing the F and the C key to stick"

LOL!

I understand the situation a little better but I am still not going to pass judgement on this woman. We don't know what goes on in their relationship.

My whole point remains this: If her husband goes to strip clubs (where there IS interaction/live people) he should think twice about being mad at her. And they should consider going to a counselor.

This is not about a battle of the sexes... this is about judge not, lest ye be judged! And, people who live in glass houses...

See?

Your point is invalid, becuase not matter what goes on in the relationship that we are unaware of, it DOES NOT JUSTIFY this. It is not our place to judge this lady, but what she is accused of doing here is not healthy for any relationship, and under no circumstances would it be. Period.

 

[SoylentGreen]

Originally posted by: takwong
what kind of camming??

like, NAKED and SELF-TOUCHY camming?? - NO OK!

or with cloths on, flirting around camming?? - NOT GOOD, but OK.

what did you bro do?

Well, I think he flipped out. I asked how did he catch her? Thing is she's really stupid playing MP3's while doing it so she didn't hear him come in.
Thing is she's great to my family so I really don't know what to think. And the only reason I caught wind of it is I'm really close with my brother although we're several years apart. He asked me and his best friend and that's as far as it's going to go.

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: isekii

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

I've fought this battle many times around here.

There is a differnce between love and sex. They are not mutually inclusive.

Because of this, your comment isn't a low blow because I don't care what she did or with whom she did it with. The same way that she doesn't care that I boned another woman.

amish

There's no battle to be fought. We all know that your relationship with your wife is not considered normal. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is not for me to judge. If you're both truly happy with the situation, then I applaud you for being so open with one another. Personally, I could not even fathom being in your shoes.

All I can say is that you are missing out...

It feels sooooo good to let all the trivial sh!t this go.

I just feel bad that nobody else can see my point and enjoy this freedom. I'm not saying that just because you believe it you should act on it every chance you get. I'm just saying that if you accept it from the beginning you don't have to expend the energy worrying or pondering about the "If's".

amish

what's the point of you being married ? ? why not just get a casual live in gf ??
wouldn't that be much better for you ? ?

no divorce to worry about ~
nothing to lose~ if she trys something kick her out~

The point?

Love and spending your life with your soulmate.

amish

 

[Storm]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
The point is that every couple decides for themselves what is allowed/not allowed in their marriages. It makes no difference what any of us think,in the end it's going to only matter what he thinks and if he views this as a violation of what they've agreed to between themselves.

Yea..

But like Isla said we are going to need more information if Kiyup's brother wants to see what other people,
like the ATOT community thinks. It doesnt sound like camming was allowable in their marriage .

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: isekii

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

I've fought this battle many times around here.

There is a differnce between love and sex. They are not mutually inclusive.

Because of this, your comment isn't a low blow because I don't care what she did or with whom she did it with. The same way that she doesn't care that I boned another woman.

amish

There's no battle to be fought. We all know that your relationship with your wife is not considered normal. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is not for me to judge. If you're both truly happy with the situation, then I applaud you for being so open with one another. Personally, I could not even fathom being in your shoes.

All I can say is that you are missing out...

It feels sooooo good to let all the trivial sh!t this go.

I just feel bad that nobody else can see my point and enjoy this freedom. I'm not saying that just because you believe it you should act on it every chance you get. I'm just saying that if you accept it from the beginning you don't have to expend the energy worrying or pondering about the "If's".

amish

what's the point of you being married ? ? why not just get a casual live in gf ??
wouldn't that be much better for you ? ?

no divorce to worry about ~
nothing to lose~ if she trys something kick her out~

The point?

Love and spending your life with your soulmate.

amish

I dont know about everyone else.. but I see why you would stay married~
If you're out to bone other people and she doesn't give a rat about it~
You can live with the person and not be married.. your so called "soulmate"

I guess you missed the whole meaning of "marriage" when you did get married~

LOVE ? I find it kinda ironic in your response looking at your previous responses~

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: BatmanNate

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: Isla
What's the difference between her doing that and married guys looking at porn? Or married guys going to strip clubs?

If he doesn't look at porn or go to strip clubs, then he has a right to be upset. But if he gets his jollies checking out other nekkid chicks...

The difference is that we don't get the Keyboard all stickey. "Hey Dear, your DNA is causing the F and the C key to stick"

LOL!

I understand the situation a little better but I am still not going to pass judgement on this woman. We don't know what goes on in their relationship.

My whole point remains this: If her husband goes to strip clubs (where there IS interaction/live people) he should think twice about being mad at her. And they should consider going to a counselor.

This is not about a battle of the sexes... this is about judge not, lest ye be judged! And, people who live in glass houses...

See?

Your point is invalid, becuase not matter what goes on in the relationship that we are unaware of, it DOES NOT JUSTIFY this. It is not our place to judge this lady, but what she is accused of doing here is not healthy for any relationship, and under no circumstances would it be. Period.

Glad you are so sure of yourself. I don't see the world in black and white... I see many shades of gray. So even if YOU think my point is 'invalid', that's just your opinion--- and neither your opinion nor my opinion amount to 'truth'.

 

[huey1124]

[It doesnt sound like camming was allowable in their marriage .

exactly. regardless of whether camming is worse than looking at porn or vice versa, the fact that the husband is not okay with what she did, makes this wrong. (and the husband is at fault if whatever sexual thing he did is not okay with his wife)

 

[ATLien247]

Originally posted by: Isla

Glad you are so sure of yourself. I don't see the world in black and white... I see many shades of gray. So even if YOU think my point is 'invalid', that's just your opinion--- and neither your opinion nor my opinion amount to 'truth'.

Only in shades of gray? For shame!

Maybe you should get some rose-colored glasses or something...

 

[TNTrulez]

Originally posted by: huey1124

[It doesnt sound like camming was allowable in their marriage .

exactly. regardless of whether camming is worse than looking at porn or vice versa, the fact that the husband is not okay with what she did, makes this wrong. (and the husband is at fault if whatever sexual thing he did is not okay with his wife)

yep

 

[BatmanNate]

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: BatmanNate

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: Isla
What's the difference between her doing that and married guys looking at porn? Or married guys going to strip clubs?

If he doesn't look at porn or go to strip clubs, then he has a right to be upset. But if he gets his jollies checking out other nekkid chicks...

The difference is that we don't get the Keyboard all stickey. "Hey Dear, your DNA is causing the F and the C key to stick"

LOL!

I understand the situation a little better but I am still not going to pass judgement on this woman. We don't know what goes on in their relationship.

My whole point remains this: If her husband goes to strip clubs (where there IS interaction/live people) he should think twice about being mad at her. And they should consider going to a counselor.

This is not about a battle of the sexes... this is about judge not, lest ye be judged! And, people who live in glass houses...

See?

Your point is invalid, becuase not matter what goes on in the relationship that we are unaware of, it DOES NOT JUSTIFY this. It is not our place to judge this lady, but what she is accused of doing here is not healthy for any relationship, and under no circumstances would it be. Period.

Glad you are so sure of yourself. I don't see the world in black and white... I see many shades of gray. So even if YOU think my point is 'invalid', that's just your opinion--- and neither your opinion nor my opinion amount to 'truth'.

All that grey area creates a lot of shade to hide in when you don't have a valid argument. It is all about justification. Tell me, what circumstance in a marriage would justify 'camming' with someone outside of it?

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Isla

Glad you are so sure of yourself. I don't see the world in black and white... I see many shades of gray. So even if YOU think my point is 'invalid', that's just your opinion--- and neither your opinion nor my opinion amount to 'truth'.

Only in shades of gray? For shame!

Maybe you should get some rose-colored glasses or something...

My only real point in this whole thread is pretty simple. It's not our place to judge here. (Maybe you misunderstand this?)

Of course I don't think this kind of thing is healthy for a marriage... but I also know NOTHING about these people's marriage... and there may have been something rotten in Denmark LONG before this happened. Stuff doesn't just 'happen'.

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: isekii

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: isekii

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

I've fought this battle many times around here.

There is a differnce between love and sex. They are not mutually inclusive.

Because of this, your comment isn't a low blow because I don't care what she did or with whom she did it with. The same way that she doesn't care that I boned another woman.

amish

There's no battle to be fought. We all know that your relationship with your wife is not considered normal. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is not for me to judge. If you're both truly happy with the situation, then I applaud you for being so open with one another. Personally, I could not even fathom being in your shoes.

All I can say is that you are missing out...

It feels sooooo good to let all the trivial sh!t this go.

I just feel bad that nobody else can see my point and enjoy this freedom. I'm not saying that just because you believe it you should act on it every chance you get. I'm just saying that if you accept it from the beginning you don't have to expend the energy worrying or pondering about the "If's".

amish

what's the point of you being married ? ? why not just get a casual live in gf ??
wouldn't that be much better for you ? ?

no divorce to worry about ~
nothing to lose~ if she trys something kick her out~

The point?

Love and spending your life with your soulmate.

amish

I dont know about everyone else.. but I see why you would stay married~
If you're out to bone other people and she doesn't give a rat about it~
You can live with the person and not be married.. your so called "soulmate"

I guess you missed the whole meaning of "marriage" when you did get married~

LOVE ? I find it kinda ironic in your response looking at your previous responses~

First of all, we're not out to bone other people, but it has happened. The beauty is that it doesn't matter. Sex with other people is physical pleasure. Sex between us is a physically, spiritually, and emothionally fulfilling action.

Yes, we could live together without being married, but when you find each other at 19, you kindof go along with what your parents want.

Love? Yes love. True and boundless love. This is the way this arguement always goes around here. 'Round and around. I'm sorry for those that cannot experience this for themselves.

amish

 

[BatmanNate]

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Isla

Glad you are so sure of yourself. I don't see the world in black and white... I see many shades of gray. So even if YOU think my point is 'invalid', that's just your opinion--- and neither your opinion nor my opinion amount to 'truth'.

Only in shades of gray? For shame!

Maybe you should get some rose-colored glasses or something...

My only real point in this whole thread is pretty simple. It's not our place to judge here.

Of course I don't think this kind of thing is healthy for a marriage... but I also know NOTHING about these people's marriage... and there may have been something rotten in Denmark LONG before this happened. Stuff doesn't just 'happen'.

So you are saying that because there was previous infidelity or (insert other instances of rottenness in Denmark here) that makes it acceptable?

 

[huey1124]

Originally posted by: BatmanNate.

All that grey area creates a lot of shade to hide in when you don't have a valid argument.

ohhhhh.... nice quote

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: BatmanNate

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Isla

Glad you are so sure of yourself. I don't see the world in black and white... I see many shades of gray. So even if YOU think my point is 'invalid', that's just your opinion--- and neither your opinion nor my opinion amount to 'truth'.

Only in shades of gray? For shame!

Maybe you should get some rose-colored glasses or something...

My only real point in this whole thread is pretty simple. It's not our place to judge here.

Of course I don't think this kind of thing is healthy for a marriage... but I also know NOTHING about these people's marriage... and there may have been something rotten in Denmark LONG before this happened. Stuff doesn't just 'happen'.

So you are saying that because there was previous infidelity or (insert other instances of rottenness in Denmark here) that makes it acceptable?

No.

I am saying that it isn't for us to judge.

What about that don't you understand?

 

[SherEPunjab]

Yeah, but when i go to a strip club, the strippers get a lot of enjoyment out of seeing me, so this theory is flawed.

 

[Geekbabe]

I couldn't live in the kind of relationship Amish has,but that doesn't mean he deserves the kind of name calling he's getting here. Why can't these discussions happen within a context of respect for other people's differences ?

 

[wyvrn]

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: SherEPunjab
Yeah, but when i go to a strip club, the strippers get a lot of enjoyment out of seeing me, so this theory is flawed.

Lol, what they are enjoying seeing is your wallet fool

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I couldn't live in the kind of relationship Amish has,but that doesn't mean he deserves the kind of name calling he's getting here. Why can't these discussions happen within a context of respect for other people's differences ?

Because people want to run around judging/condemning others so they can feel better about themselves. This would be Moonbeam's cue to come in...

As for my previous comments about what MIGHT have gone on in their relationship... the point I was trying to make was that 'people who are without sin should cast the first stone'. And I don't care who thinks what 'sin' is worse, what he did or what she did, blah blah blah.