My brother caught his wife! Update...

[Viper GTS]

This is in no way comparable to porn.

As has already been said, porn is static - It doesn't react to you. It is simply there, there is no person on the other end.

"Camming" as it's called is direct, sexual interaction with another person.

Even a strip club fails to meet this exactly, though it is much closer.

Anyone who believes it is no worse than looking at porn is naive, at best.

Viper GTS

 

[vi edit]

I'm sorry, Vi, but that is the most insane thing I've ever heard....

1) Porn is static...

Not at a strip club or on video.

2) masturbation when you're in a relationship is unhealthy...

Maturbation is almost always a perfectly healthy form of sexual release. I've been married for 10 years now and NEVER would have made it w/o some personal lovin'.

amish

Notice I never said strip clubs. And that's a sensitive topic anyway. The only reason those girls are grinding on you is because of the 20 spot you have sitting on the table. As for the masterbation is unhealthy comment, well, that's just a personal view. If your S/O is out of town, sure no big deal go ahead and blow off a little steam till she she gets home. But, if you are hindering your relationship because you are tugging off to a bunch of magazines instead of your wife, then you have some unhealthy issues going on there.

To me, as well as to others in this thread, there is a VERY large difference in pounding one out to a magazine, and interactively doing it with another human being over the web. In the magazine situation, only one person is getting any sort of stimulation out of it, in the second, BOTH parties are getting enjoyment out of it. I think there is a difference.

 

[ibintegra]

It's all perspective, if the husband is into the occasional porn, then he doesn't really have a right to say anything. Yes there is a difference of generic versus personal, but in the end it boils down to the same thing, doesn't it?

 

[Electric Amish]

In the magazine situation, only one person is getting any sort of stimulation out of it, in the second, BOTH parties are getting enjoyment out of it. I think there is a difference.

So, camming is just more efficient??

amish

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: Isla
What's the difference between her doing that and married guys looking at porn? Or married guys going to strip clubs?

If he doesn't look at porn or go to strip clubs, then he has a right to be upset. But if he gets his jollies checking out other nekkid chicks...

The difference is that we don't get the Keyboard all stickey. "Hey Dear, your DNA is causing the F and the C key to stick"

LOL!

I understand the situation a little better but I am still not going to pass judgement on this woman. We don't know what goes on in their relationship.

My whole point remains this: If her husband goes to strip clubs (where there IS interaction/live people) he should think twice about being mad at her. And they should consider going to a counselor.

This is not about a battle of the sexes... this is about judge not, lest ye be judged! And, people who live in glass houses...

See?

 

[PG]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Skoorb
There is a big difference between interacting with somebody across the net and doing what they say and vice versa as you share yourself nude with them vs. wanking to the same exact porn that a million other guys have done, because it's simply generic.

She does this I have no doubt she'd do it for real if the guy was close enough to her.

It is different - amish you must be able to see that.

I don't see a difference.

All I see are people damning a person from an extrapolation of their actions.

amish

So are you saying that you wouldn't be upset if you caught your wife doing the same thing?

Keep in mind that there are probably many IM conversations that have taken place and maybe some phone calls as well. Maybe they've even met. What he caught her doing might just be the tip of the iceburg.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: ibintegra
It's all perspective, if the husband is into the occasional porn, then he doesn't really have a right to say anything. Yes there is a difference of generic versus personal, but in the end it boils down to the same thing, doesn't it?

Doing 10 over the speed limit is speeding. So is doing 100 over. One is fairly low risk, but the other is quite dangerous. Same law though.

 

[BatmanNate]

Unless sexual activity within a marriage is a cheap commodity, this will seriously undermine trust in a relationship. It differentiates itself from pornography because no other person would be on the receiving end of the lady's attention if she was looking at porn. Even that would cause strain on a lot of relationships, because it is essentially telling the other partner that they are not fullfilling/satisfying you.

 

"She was camping?

WTH is camming?'


Cybering with a webcam."

LOL! I thought I was alone there. That's sure one weird word I haven't ever heard. It's amazing how internet start words and it spreads so fast.

In any case, Kiyup, I can see why you said you would never get married. Your brother's marriage sure doesn't sound like a model marriage.

Here's what I think: If she's "camming" and finding her jolly elsewhere, either she would like to see more of your brother or she's a slut. I always give people the benefit of doubt. So my first guess is that she's lonely or feeling neglected. Perhaps your brother doesn't realise this because he's sincerely trying to win bread, but he may really be failing to give the reasonable attention desired.

Instead of getting soooooooo upset and thinking of leaving her, he should think of ways to improve the relationship. If she ends up being a slut, then she deserves to be dumped! If he's gong to stay with her but not forgive her, he' being stupid. It makes no sense not to forgive but still stay in a relationship. That decision should be his decision, not other people's. The question he should ask is whether he should forget it. I sure as hell never forget things people do, but I can easily forgive.

 

[Viper GTS]

Originally posted by: PG

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Skoorb
There is a big difference between interacting with somebody across the net and doing what they say and vice versa as you share yourself nude with them vs. wanking to the same exact porn that a million other guys have done, because it's simply generic.

She does this I have no doubt she'd do it for real if the guy was close enough to her.

It is different - amish you must be able to see that.

I don't see a difference.

All I see are people damning a person from an extrapolation of their actions.

amish

So are you saying that you wouldn't be upset if you caught your wife doing the same thing?

Keep in mind that there are probably many IM conversations that have taken place and maybe some phone calls as well. Maybe they've even met. What he caught her doing might just be the tip of the iceburg.

According to Amish he wouldn't care if his wife slept with other men, & he claims that she doesn't care if he does.

Viper GTS

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: ibintegra
It's all perspective, if the husband is into the occasional porn, then he doesn't really have a right to say anything. Yes there is a difference of generic versus personal, but in the end it boils down to the same thing, doesn't it?

It's so much different porn~

lets say if your wife or gf was having cybersex with another dude that you never knew about nekkid on the net...
what impression would you get ? ?

you'd tell her " honey everything is okay since I look at porn and jerkoff to it every now and then " ?

I would hope not~
for me what she did is cheating...
Did she cheat ~ yes ~ physically ? ? i'm not too sure if i'll call it physically~ but mentally~.. I believe she did~
Just imagine what she would say .. if he was even talking to another woman~ not to mention have cyber sex with her~>.. she'd get the impression " aren't I enough for him ? " " why does he go to another woman ? "

I think they have serious issues to iron out~ ...

I would first rip the webcam out of the computer ~ but that's just me~

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: ibintegra
It's all perspective, if the husband is into the occasional porn, then he doesn't really have a right to say anything. Yes there is a difference of generic versus personal, but in the end it boils down to the same thing, doesn't it?

It would also depend on how the hookup happened -- is this someone she chats with and then virtually screws on a regulat basis?, or did she go to some random site and select a stranger -- and were their faces visible to each other? In either case, it's cause for concern, but I'd be more concerned about the former.

 

[BDawg]

pics?

Seriously, he should make up his own mind instead of relying on an internet board. If you want my opinion though, if he loves her, definately get marriage therepy, now.

 

[Electric Amish]

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
You guys are all WAAAAAAAAAY too uptight!

amish

[low blow]
You only say that because your wife has done worse...
[/low blow]

I'd say it's A LOT different than looking at pr0n. She is sexually interacting with another person. And since that other person is not her husband, I would consider it a form of cheating.

I wouldn't go so far as to try to keep her away from the computer... that's just idiotic.

I think I would be more suspicious after something like this happened. But only if it happened a second time would I seriously consider getting a divorce.

I've fought this battle many times around here.

There is a differnce between love and sex. They are not mutually inclusive.

Because of this, your comment isn't a low blow because I don't care what she did or with whom she did it with. The same way that she doesn't care that I boned another woman.

amish

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: luvly
"She was camping?

WTH is camming?'


Cybering with a webcam."

LOL! I thought I was alone there. That's sure one weird word I haven't ever heard. It's amazing how internet start words and it spreads so fast.

In any case, Kiyup, I can see why you said you would never get married. Your brother's marriage sure doesn't sound like a model marriage.

Here's what I think: If she's "camming" and finding her jolly elsewhere, either she would like to see more of your brother or she's a slut. I always give people the benefit of doubt. So my first guess is that she's lonely or feeling neglected. Perhaps your brother doesn't realise this because he's sincerely trying to win bread, but he may really be failing to give the reasonable attention desired.

Instead of getting soooooooo upset and thinking of leaving her, he should think of ways to improve the relationship. If she ends up being a slut, then she deserves to be dumped! If he's gong to stay with her but not forgive her, he' being stupid. It makes no sense not to forgive but still stay in a relationship. That decision should be his decision, not other people's. The question he should ask is whether he should forget it. I sure as hell never forget things people do, but I can easily forgive.

I dont think it really matters if she's lonely~ ... why would she involve another person ? ?
SOUNDS LIKE A SLUT TO ME~!
She should just play with a vibrator or something~

I'm pretty sure if she wanted to see her husband or talk to him ... in a sexual way .. she could~ she just chose to cam instead~

 

[BDawg]

Originally posted by: Viper GTS

Originally posted by: PG

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

Originally posted by: Skoorb
There is a big difference between interacting with somebody across the net and doing what they say and vice versa as you share yourself nude with them vs. wanking to the same exact porn that a million other guys have done, because it's simply generic.

She does this I have no doubt she'd do it for real if the guy was close enough to her.

It is different - amish you must be able to see that.

I don't see a difference.

All I see are people damning a person from an extrapolation of their actions.

amish

So are you saying that you wouldn't be upset if you caught your wife doing the same thing?

Keep in mind that there are probably many IM conversations that have taken place and maybe some phone calls as well. Maybe they've even met. What he caught her doing might just be the tip of the iceburg.

According to Amish he wouldn't care if his wife slept with other men, & he claims that she doesn't care if he does.

Viper GTS

Well he is from Utah. Polygamy isn't exactly foreign there.

 

[Geekbabe]

The point is that every couple decides for themselves what is allowed/not allowed in their marriages. It makes no difference what any of us think,in the end it's going to only matter what he thinks and if he views this as a violation of what they've agreed to between themselves.

 

[slycat]

looking at porn is one thing...camming with another dude is a WHOLE different issue
and i'm sorry but its time for some fisting...

 

[Viper GTS]

Originally posted by: slycat
looking at porn is one thing...camming with another dude is a WHOLE different issue
and i'm sorry but its time for some fisting...

Time for some fisting?

Are you suggesting physical abuse, or deviant sex?

:Q

Viper GTS

 

[huey1124]

a porn magazine, porn video, or even stripper cannot tempt you to meet in real person (at least the strippers as i understand it). or get emotionally attached, since you cannot talk about anything other than sex (stripper in this case).

how do you guys know this woman hasn't already met this guy in person? it could be that they were "camming" because they cannot meat more often in person. personally, i wouldn't trust this woman, and i don't expect my gf or my future wife to trust me if i did the same.

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: slycat
looking at porn is one thing...camming with another dude is a WHOLE different issue
and i'm sorry but its time for some fisting...

I think we have a potential wife/gf beater at hand~

 

[ATLien247]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish

I've fought this battle many times around here.

There is a differnce between love and sex. They are not mutually inclusive.

Because of this, your comment isn't a low blow because I don't care what she did or with whom she did it with. The same way that she doesn't care that I boned another woman.

amish

There's no battle to be fought. We all know that your relationship with your wife is not considered normal. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is not for me to judge. If you're both truly happy with the situation, then I applaud you for being so open with one another. Personally, I could not even fathom being in your shoes.

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
The point is that every couple decides for themselves what is allowed/not allowed in their marriages. It makes no difference what any of us think,in the end it's going to only matter what he thinks and if he views this as a violation of what they've agreed to between themselves.

good point --

before your brother makes any hasty decisions, they both should really see a COUNSELOR who can help them talk constructively about it

 

[takwong]

what kind of camming??

like, NAKED and SELF-TOUCHY camming?? - NO OK!

or with cloths on, flirting around camming?? - NOT GOOD, but OK.

what did you bro do?

 

[mchammer187]

Originally posted by: Viper GTS

Originally posted by: slycat
looking at porn is one thing...camming with another dude is a WHOLE different issue
and i'm sorry but its time for some fisting...

Time for some fisting?

Are you suggesting physical abuse, or deviant sex?

:Q

Viper GTS

fisting can only mean one thing