My dad passed away

Dec 10, 2005
24,447
7,383
136
Got the extremely sad news this morning that my father passed away. He had a long (~15 years) struggle with a rare form ALS and a more recent struggle with metastatic prostate cancer. I feel like it was going to happen in the next year, just not so soon.
 

Red Squirrel

No Lifer
May 24, 2003
67,931
12,383
126
www.anyf.ca
So sorry to hear. I cannot imagine how hard that is to go through. I have seen lot of death in my family over the past decade or so, but I still don't know how I will be able to handle when it's my parents. I just dread when that day comes.
 
Jul 27, 2020
18,018
11,742
116
He's in a better place and getting rewarded for all he had to endure. I strongly believe that. May you feel his warm smile looking down at you from above, always.
 

Charmonium

Diamond Member
May 15, 2015
9,595
2,958
136
There really isn't much I can say. Lost my dad when I was very young. I'll spare you the details.

What matters is what you do now and the immediate future. Try to remember all of the things you loved about him and otherwise as well. Share stories and memories with his/your family and friends. Did he have any phrases he liked to use and which came to identify him to some extent.

I'm not doing a very good job here, but try to remember all of the things you loved about him as well his own personal "style." And bring as many folks in on that as you can. You'll laugh at some things. Cry at others. and by the end you'll be exhausted. But it will be a good tribute that helps to reinforce the good memories and let all of the ugly shit go to where it belongs.

If you were very close, it's going to be a rough couple months to start. I wasn't really close to my mom because she was more of a governess than the stereotypical mom-type. Of course we loved and cared about each other, but any sort of overt emotion we tried to avoid. Too icky.

She died of a stroke so there wasn't really much warning. If I could have talked her into getting some sort of health monitor, they probably could have saved her but that wasn't to be.

The biggest thing though, don't blame yourself for whatever things you regret, if any. Criticizing yourself after the fact accomplishes nothing. Forgive yourself first and then if necessary, forgive him.

Sorry this is kind of a jumbled mess, but everything is going to feel like that for a while
 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,306
10,804
136
Sorry for your loss... my dad passed a few years ago and even though he had cancer for a long time and it wasn't unexpected his actual death still came as a shock. I really thought I'd be seeing him at least one more time!

It took a long time for it to happen but now usually when I think about how much I miss him it ends up as a happy memory that makes me smile.

Take your time healing and most importantly take care of YOURSELF and your family too.


EDIT: Also it sounds to me that much like my poor daddy he was suffering and it was a blessing that he was set free from his pain.
 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,389
1,778
126
Even when it's expected, be prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions as you reflect on things. Hang in there and know we're here for you if you need any of us.
 

Ajay

Lifer
Jan 8, 2001
16,094
8,106
136
Sorry for the loss of your dad. Losing a parent is a real gut punch.
 

purbeast0

No Lifer
Sep 13, 2001
52,931
5,803
126
Sorry to hear about the loss of your dad, losing a parent is always tough. I wish you all well in these tough times.
 
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