fack man, so sorry.
thats rough. i remember when my father died. was at my apartment and my mom called saying he wouldnt wake up. drove over there (about a 2 min drive) and gave him cpr until the paramedics arrived. it was soo fvkced up seeing him on the floor. he was parapalegic and had both legs amputated above the knees. he looked like an alien. i remember hearing him "groan" after i had stopped and thinking he was coming back, but it was just the air leaving his lungs. he had been sick for many years with various problems, so we knew it was coming. still didnt lessen the shock, tho.
i missed out on most of my teen and early 20yrs taking care of him.i had only moved out for 3mos. before he passed away. didnt want to leave him, but had to get out on my own and he encouraged that. when he died, i ended up having to move back in with my mother to help her cover the bills.
just try to stay strong and do the things that would make him proud if he were still alive. its rough, but you can go on.