My friend didn't go to his BEST friend's funeral...

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: Ns1
Best google can find in 5 seconds

The kind of ending: a happy ending like my grandmother?s

:Q

:laugh:
Gotta love lack of context.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2

Originally posted by: blackdogdeek
it's not for you to judge how someone else mourns his or her loss.

Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Why is it any of your concern?

Very well said, but i cannot help but to feel (or anyone in my shoes) for Nick if he were to know Mark never attended his funeral.

Wouldn't you get mad or least bit curious to see what's going on if your dad never showed up for your mom's funeral while you were there?

Same logic applies. It may be personal to him, but I, also as Nick's friend, can't help but to naturally feel curious.

Funerals are not for the dead, they are for the living. They are a social support for those grieving friends and relatives, to help them through their grief. Nick would understand if Mark needed to grieve in a different manner. Mark just needed to work through his loss in a different way. Perhaps his trip with his girlfriend was his way to get away and think about his best friend with his girlfriend there to support him.

 

[darkamulets]

Different people deal with grief differently?

 

[mitchel]

Why is it your business what he chooses to do?

If it was me I would say, "Fvck you, mind your own business."

 

[D1gger]

My wife is chinese, and they do have some customs regarding death that are different from western customs. If someone in our immediate family passes away, none of her chinese friends will visit our house for a month, and my wife will not enter her friend's home for a month. She will go out and meet her friend for coffee or shopping, but they will not enter each others home for a month.

I have not heard anything about customs regarding a suicide, but it wouldn't surprise me if he stayed away to please his grandmother.

 

[txrandom]

The real question is why was Nick dumb enough to commit suicide in the first play? Nick sounds like a great friend!

 

[uhohs]

grandma probably afraid the unrest spirit will latch onto him or some crap.

edit: especially since they were close/best friends.

 

[rh71]

Know of a lot of traditions but none surrounding suicide so this is new to me.

Whenever we go visit grave sites, we always have to go eat together afterward... my wife's side eats at the cemetary in what looks like a big picnic. Just a lot of weird stuff in the culture.

 

[BudAshes]

Who cares if he went to the funeral, its not like the dude is gonna know anyway.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2
Wouldn't you get mad or least bit curious to see what's going on if your dad never showed up for your mom's funeral while you were there?

if, after 38 years of marriage, my father chose not to attend his wife's funeral, i would know that he probably had a damn good reason and i would never bring it up as a subject. i might be curious, but i would never, ever bring it up.

ever.

 

[bGIveNs33]

Originally posted by: mwmorph

Originally posted by: JS80

Originally posted by: E equals MC2
-Our friend Nick committed suicide last fall and was buried soon thereafter.

-My other friend Mark attended the wake but didn't attend the funeral.

-So I was troubled and went to check up on Mark. He went on a day trip with his GF.

-This got me bit disturbed (Mark was Nick's BEST friend).

-Few months later today, I asked him why he didn't go. He said it's because of his Chinese culture and it's extremely bad luck to attend funerals of those who commited suicide. His old grandmother strongly stopped him from going.

I have a Chinese GF and numerous Chinese friends (I'm Korean). And I have NEVER heard this. I think he's straight up bull shitting.

Chinese members here: Have you ever heard of such thing?

Wow, didn't go to the funeral because it was "bad luck"? What a great friend.

Wow you're a judgmental prick because you don't even try to understand and comprehend that people from different cultures have differing customs and living their own way through free will? What a great person.

:thumbsup:

 

[Baked]

Some how, from reading all of the OP's made up topics, I've come to the conclusion that the OP's a girl.

 

[sutahz]

There may be some truth to that (his family may have that custom).
Maybe it's how he is dealing with the suicide
Maybe he doesnt want or need the closure that some people get by going to a funeral

 

[potato28]

Maybe he just didn't want to accept that his best friend is dead?

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2
-Our friend Nick committed suicide last fall and was buried soon thereafter.

-My other friend Mark attended the wake but didn't attend the funeral.

-So I was troubled and went to check up on Mark. He went on a day trip with his GF.

-This got me bit disturbed (Mark was Nick's BEST friend).

-Few months later today, I asked him why he didn't go. He said it's because of his Chinese culture and it's extremely bad luck to attend funerals of those who commited suicide. His old grandmother strongly stopped him from going.

I have a Chinese GF and numerous Chinese friends (I'm Korean). And I have NEVER heard this. I think he's straight up bull shitting.

Chinese members here: Have you ever heard of such thing?

Maybe he couldn't deal with it emotionally and instead of it sounding like he wasn't "manly" he made up another excuse? people experience grief in many different ways and sometimes it isn't immediate.

My grandfather died a few years back. He was in the hospital for a few days before he died and i did not want to go see him. it wasn't because i didn't love him or anything, i just didn't know how to handle it. One day i did go visit him by myself. I only saw him for a few seconds, i think he was sleeping. he didn't look like any person that i knew.

i left and about 1/4 of the way home i just started crying.
This was also the first death i had ever had to deal with, other than pets.

 

[DaWhim]

I am not surprised to hear this.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: DaWhim
I am not surprised to hear this.

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2
-Our friend Nick committed suicide last fall and was buried soon thereafter.

-My other friend Mark attended the wake but didn't attend the funeral.

-So I was troubled and went to check up on Mark. He went on a day trip with his GF.

-This got me bit disturbed (Mark was Nick's BEST friend).

-Few months later today, I asked him why he didn't go. He said it's because of his Chinese culture and it's extremely bad luck to attend funerals of those who commited suicide. His old grandmother strongly stopped him from going.

I have a Chinese GF and numerous Chinese friends (I'm Korean). And I have NEVER heard this. I think he's straight up bull shitting.

Chinese members here: Have you ever heard of such thing?

Did your friend's grandmother refuse to go to the MGM in Vegas until they changed the entrance?

MotionMan

 

[sniperruff]

im from hong kong and i've never heard of such thing. unless his family has some sort of child birth or wedding or huge birthday, otherwise i dont think so.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Originally posted by: E equals MC2
-Our friend Nick committed suicide last fall and was buried soon thereafter.

-My other friend Mark attended the wake but didn't attend the funeral.

-So I was troubled and went to check up on Mark. He went on a day trip with his GF.

-This got me bit disturbed (Mark was Nick's BEST friend).

-Few months later today, I asked him why he didn't go. He said it's because of his Chinese culture and it's extremely bad luck to attend funerals of those who commited suicide. His old grandmother strongly stopped him from going.

I have a Chinese GF and numerous Chinese friends (I'm Korean). And I have NEVER heard this. I think he's straight up bull shitting.

Chinese members here: Have you ever heard of such thing?

My wife is from the island province of Hainan and I just asked her. Yes, it's unlucky for them to attend a funeral of a suicide. In fact, she said it's unlucky to even speak to the family at all until 50 days later.

So clearly it is a belief in some parts of China.

 

[IEC]

I'm sure it's a custom or superstition SOMEWHERE in China. We're talking about 1.4 BILLION+ people. Gotta be some variation.

 

[dbk]

He went to the wake? Let it go?

 

[biggestmuff]

How'd he commit suicide? Fan death?

 

[Baked]

Originally posted by: biggestmuff
How'd he commit suicide? Fan death?

He was a lock who casted hellfire on himself.

 

[tom3]

It could very well be legitimate.

In some Chinese traditions, people who recently had a family member pass away aren't supposed to "expose" themselves to the public so that they would not bring "bad luck" to others. Likewise, in such traditions, one would stay away from funerals or homes of the deceased's family. This would usually last for a period of time.. 49 (7 times 7) days in some traditions, longer in others.