My knowledge gaps need filling.

[shortylickens]

So, WHO made the rings and who decided to give them to the men, the elves, and the dwarves, and exactly what did they do beside look pretty?

 

[mattpegher]

James t Kirk, but he gave them to a wookie who traveled to narnia. They primarily focus the power of a lantern created by immortal aliens, but mostly just to lull females into a false sense of security that you wont dump there ass the second they get fat.

 

[shortylickens]

Their.
Their ass.
Their fat ass.

 

[invidia]

So, WHO made the rings and who decided to give them to the men, the elves, and the dwarves, and exactly what did they do beside look pretty?

sauron made the rings and gave it to idiots that thought would make them overpowered

 

[JEDI]

V for Vendetta was made in 2006?!

thought it was only a couple of years ago.

geez.. 5yrs ago

 

[shortylickens]

V for Vendetta was made in 2006?!

thought it was only a couple of years ago.

geez.. 5yrs ago

Dont you remember his adventures with Mis Ter An Der Son?

 

[busydude]

The scoia'tael are ruining the peace between humans and non-humans. Damn them!

 

[deadlyapp]

This thread is amazing.

 

[Red Squirrel]

One ring should not be allowed to rule them all. Occupy Mordor!

 

[SKORPI0]

sauron made the rings and gave it to idiots that thought would make them overpowered

This... One Ring

One ring should not be allowed to rule them all. Occupy Mordor!

 

[tokie]

If Sauron put the one ring on his junk, what would happen?

 

[HeXen]

sauron made the rings and gave it to idiots that thought would make them overpowered

yet another aspect of the story that i just flat out never liked. I love the movie for its epicness and characters. But the general storyline, with Sauron and soron or whoever that evil wizard is...is well...stupid.
If Sauron can make a white wizard turn evil, make 5 wicked rings...AND return from the dead in the form of a HUUUGE eyeball....then he is one badass mofo and no way in hell destroying a ring in a lavapit would kill him
i mean i could have come up with a better reason for an epic war than that crap.

 

[IronWing]

yet another aspect of the story that i just flat out never liked. I love the movie for its epicness and characters. But the general storyline, with Sauron and soron or whoever that evil wizard is...is well...stupid.
If Sauron can make a white wizard turn evil, make 5 wicked rings...AND return from the dead in the form of a HUUUGE eyeball....then he is one badass mofo and no way in hell destroying a ring in a lavapit would kill him

If you're going to pick apart the storyline then start with the obvious. Have an eagle drop the ring in the lava and everyone can be home by lunch.

 

[FoBoT]

 

[shortylickens]

sauron made the rings and gave it to idiots that thought would make them overpowered

How did they get duped? Was Sauron respected and liked at one time?

 

[IronWing]

How did they get duped? Was Sauron respected and liked at one time?

Yep. Just because he had a 10,000 year history as Morgoth's right hand badass was no reason for the elves not to trust him.

For the tl;dr crowd here be the Sillmarillion in 1000 words (No, I didn't write this)

Spoiler alert!

Spoiler

THE ENTIRE SILMARILLION OF J. R. R. TOLKIEN IN ONE THOUSAND WORDS.


AINULINDALE:

ILUVATAR: Ahem.
AINUR: Wow! Existence!
ILUVATAR: *blows pitch pipe* LA!
AINUR: LA LA LA!
ILUVATAR: LA LA!
AINUR: LA LA!
MELKOR: This sucks. BUM BUM BA DUM!
AINUR: Um. . . la?
ILUVATAR: Ahem. LA!
MELKOR: Boop bop-a-doo-bop!
ILUVATAR: LA, dammit.
MELKOR: Bwam bardle ningle boom.
AINUR: . . .
ILUVATAR: Right, you're out of the band.
MELKOR: Fine, I was leaving anyway.
AINUR: . . .
ILUVATAR: What are you waiting for?
AINUR: Oh. Right. Newly created world. Sorry. Great jam session, big guy!
ILUVATAR: Yeesh.



VALAQUENTA:

MANWE: I'm in charge!
VARDA: I'm Manwe's spouse. And the queen of the stars!
NAMO: I do death and fate. They call me Mandos.
VAIRE: I'm Namo's spouse. I weave things.
IRMO: I have gardens. They call me Lorien.
ESTE: I'm Irmo's spouse. I take care of the gardens.
YAVANNA: I make things grow.
NIENNA: I'm sad.
ULMO: I live in the ocean.
AULE: I'm Yavanna's spouse. I've got a great big hammer! I made dwarves.
NESSA: I dance.
OROME: I hunt!
VANA: I'm Orome's spouse. I make living things happy.
TULKAS: I'm strong. I'm Nessa's spouse. I got here last.
MELKOR: I'm bad, momma, I'm ONE BAD MUTHA-
TULKAS: Grar.
MELKOR: Um. Yeah. Hiding now.



QUENTA SILMARILLION:

VALAR: Hey! Ilmaren! Party on the island, everyone!
MELKOR: Bah. Too bright. *builds fortress, kicks over lamps*
VALAR: AUGH! *flee to west*
MELKOR: Hu hu hu.
VALAR: Oooooh SHINY TREES! Yavanna made shiny trees!
YAVANNA: Yep! Aren't they pretty?
MELKOR: Want shiny.
VALAR: Nope.
MELKOR: Why not?
VALAR: Because you're a jerk.
ELVES: Oh hey, stars. Shiny!
MELKOR: Oh hey, breeding stock.
ELVES: AUGH!
UNGOLIANT: Want shiny.
MELKOR: Let's go get shiny.
FEANOR: I've made more shiny!
VALAR: Good, 'cos Melkor took ours. Can we have yours?
FEANOR: No! MY SHINIES! MINE!
VALAR: Aw, !&*()!@&)!(&.
MELKOR: Got the shinies!
UNGOLIANT: Not enough shiny. Want more shiny!
MELKOR: You can't have 'em.
UNGOLIANT: Grar.
MELKOR: Eeek! *runs away*
FEANOR AND SONS: We're gettin' our shinies back. And YOU CAN'T HAVE 'EM, Valar!
MELKOR/MORGOTH: No you're not. *stabbity fiery burny death*
BEREN: Ooo! Pretty elf lady!
THINGOL: You can have her if you ... BRING ME A SHINY!
BEREN: Worth a shot.
LUTHIEN: La la la
MORGOTH: Ooo baby... *zzz*
BEREN: Got your shiny!
MORGOTH: you BASTARD! I stole those fair and square!
CARCHAROTH: Grar.
BEREN: Ow!
THINGOL: Got the shiny?
BEREN: 's in my hand.
THINGOL: And?
BEREN: Hand's not here.
THINGOL: Crap, I really wanted that shiny.
CARCHAROTH: GRAR!!!!
BEREN: *dies*
LUTHIEN: *dies* La la la.
MANDOS: ... oh all right.
LUTHIEN: *returns to life*
BEREN: *returns to life*
LUTHIEN: Beren! Look! The shiny!
FEANOR'S SONS: *mutter*
LUTHIEN: *dies again*
BEREN: *dies again*
DIOR: Look! It's Mom's shiny!
FEANOR'S SONS: WANT SHINY!
DIOR: *dies*
ELWING: Eek! *grabs shiny, runs*
FEANOR'S SONS: !*&(!)&)*!.
EARENDIL: Hey. Nice shiny. Yo! Valar!
VALAR: Well FINALLY. *stomp stomp stomp*
EARENDIL: Wow, planetary orbit!
MORGOTH: Eek!
VALAR: Got your shinies!
MAGLOR AND MAEDHROS: You mean OUR shinies!
VALAR: Oh *!&(!&).
MAGLOR AND MAEDHROS: Ow! Burny shinies!
MAEDHROS: Fine. This sucks. *jumps into chasm*
MAGLOR: Um... not really looking forward to meeting Dad again... *chucks shiny into sea* Bye. *wanders off*
VALAR: Well... um... okay.



AKALLABETH:

VALAR: Thanks for helping with Morgoth, Edain! Have an island! Elros is in charge!
EDAIN: Cool!
VALAR: Don't come looking for us.
EDAIN: Okay.
ELVES OF TOL ERESSEA: Have our stuff!
NUMENOREANS: Neat! Oh hey, Middle-Earth!
GIL-GALAD: Dudes. Good to see you.
NUMENOREANS: Yeah, same here. What's going on?
GIL-GALAD: War with Sauron mostly.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Shiny tall wonderful wise sea-king dudes! Yay!
NUMENOREANS: Here, have some stuff and wisdom.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: <3 <3 <3
NUMENOREANS: Life is cool. Why do we have to die?
ELVES: You're human?
NUMENOREANS: Can the Valar fix that?
VALAR: No.
NUMENOREANS: That sucks. Go away.
ELVES: Fine.
ELENDILI: Hey! Over here! We still like you!
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Gosh, we're lonely.
NUMENOREANS: Whatever, give us your wealth and your children.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Um, okay.
ELENDILI: This isn't gonna end well, is it?
ELVES: No.
TAR-PALANTIR: We're sorry?
GIMILKHAD: *I'm* not.
AR-PHARAZON: Thanks for the throne, dude.
TAR-MIRIEL: Hey!
AR-PHARAZON: Shaddap, woman. Sauron, j00 suxx0r! I 0wnz0r j00!
SAURON: Okay.
AR-PHARAZON: Make me immortal.
SAURON: Human sacrifice is good. Also burn that pesky white tree.
AR-PHARAZON: Um. . .
ISILDUR: Hey! White tree! Got your fruit!
SAURON: *makes chicken noises*
AR-PHARAZON: Fine. Tree burn! Fire pretty!
ELENDIL: Isildur, Anarion, get the boats.
AR-PHARAZON: I've got a huge navy! Let's go conquer Valinor!
VALAR: Oh no you don't. *CRASHBANGBOOM*
AR-PHARAZON & CO.: Eeek!
ELENDIL, ISILDUR, ANARION: Wheee!
NUMENOREANS: Arrgh!
NUMENOR: SPLOOSH.
SAURON: Bwa ha ha! Um, where's my body?
ILUVATAR: Did I mention the world is round now?
NUMENOREANS IN EXILE: Well, crap.



OF THE RINGS OF POWER AND THE THIRD AGE:

ELVES: Wonder what's going on over the ocean. This crafting deal is pretty sweet, though!
DWARVES: Yeah, seriously.
ANNATAR: Hi, elves! Wanna learn some cool stuff?
ELVES: Okay!
SAURON: They fell for it.
SEVEN DWARVES: Thanks for the rings! . . oooh, GOLD! MORE GOLD! MUST HAVE GOLD!
NINE MEN: Neat rings. . . Hey, didn't Mom die like six hundred years ago?
CELEBRIMBOR: Okay, how about we do three more and call it a wrap?
SAURON: How about I do one more and claim them ALL?
ELVES: AUGH!
SAURON: Bwa ha ha!
LAST ALLIANCE OF ELVES AND MEN: Push off.
SAURON: Make me.
ISILDUR: Whack.
SAURON: Ow.
ELROND: Hey, you got his ring. Let's ditch it.
ISILDUR: No.
ELROND: This sucks.
ISILDUR: Tell me about it. *dies*
GONDORIANS: *change calendar*
CIRDAN: Hi, wizards! You in the grey, catch!
SAURON: Okay, that's long enough. Movin' into Dol Guldur.
SARUMAN: It's not him. Also the ring's lost at sea.
RING: No I'm not.
THE WISE: Augh.
THE WEAK: Bad ring! Volcano for you!
RING: *melts*
SAURON: AUGH!
MORDOR: BOOM.
GONDORIANS: *change calendar*
ELROND, GALADRIEL: Road trip!
GANDALF: Hi Cirdan! Still got your ring!
CIRDAN: Cool. Let's go to Valinor!

 

[FoBoT]

In Tolkien's The Silmarillion , he is revealed to have been the chief lieutenant of the first Dark Lord, Morgoth.

 

[shortylickens]

OK, so, after they get done with The Hobbit, is there room for at least one more movie?

 

[IronWing]

OK, so, after they get done with The Hobbit, is there room for at least one more movie?

The Silmarillion could be made into several movies. The Sack of Gondolin would make a killer 3D movie. The movie maker would have to take more liberties with the book than was done for the LOTR movies.

 

[ElFenix]

the first part of that isn't right. melkor was frustrated because iluvatar kept incorporating melkor's disharmony back into the song.

 

[Kaido]

James t Kirk, but he gave them to a wookie who traveled to narnia. They primarily focus the power of a lantern created by immortal aliens, but mostly just to lull females into a false sense of security that you wont dump their grammar the second they get fat.

You forgot to mention how Kirk took a Delorean through the wormhole created when Nickelback was played on two radio stations at the same time to buy the One True Ring at Zales for three easy payments of his first born.

 

[BladeVenom]

The Ringling Brothers, that's how they got their name.

 

[Ichinisan]

Never understood why Sauron can't make another ring like that one.

...and WHY can it only be destroyed in the fires of Mordor, where it was made?

I guess them are just the rules...

 

[HeXen]

and why is sauron a giant eyeball that can't go anywhere and how does destroying the one ring kill him?
I also liked how Gandalf was able to summon a bird to pick him up off that tower when he could have had it pick up Frodo and carried him to Mordor from the beginning.

aweful lot of crying in the movie too, i'd cry too knowing Gandalf was an idiot.

 

[angminas]

Until the Nazgul had been drawn out of Mordor, an eagle would never have made it to Mount Doom (and the eagle would know it, so that it would be unwilling to try). Even if it had, Sauron would have been alerted and would be exerting all his power on the ringbearer, so that they would not have had the willpower to destroy the ring.

The ringbearer would have been Frodo, and Frodo was already subject to the power of the ring by the time Gandalf figured things out. For anyone else to have the ring would mean they had taken it from Frodo by force, something the wise would not have done. Not just because of what it would do to Frodo, but also because of what it would do to them.

A sneak attack was the only chance.