My last rude question about the midwest

[slackerinabox]

It probably has more to do with your differing opinions on things like politics and religion than anything regional. IIRC in your other thread you mention getting into arguments with your in-laws frequently and egged the arguments on at times. Some people don't really like confrontation. They might be steering the conversation towards bland controversy free topics to prevent another argument. A lot of my family is conservative/christian, while I am liberal/atheist. Sometimes it makes family gatherings boring at times, but there is usually still enough common ground from being family and living in the same area to make conversation flow. You don't seem to have that with your wife's side of the family. It's tough to say without being in the room, but I'm guessing they don't feel there is anything really to talk about so they are just filling the silence. If you have something you think is worth talking about try driving the conversation yourself.



Yeah, I don't either. I live near Madison, WI.

Valid point, they could steer the conversation to boring avenues just because I'm around to avoid confrontation.

P.s. I think my observation skews older, or their friends are just really boring too. What's frustrating is that I'm into a lot of stuff, but they don't really listen. I see hundreds of movies in a given year, I can go on for hours just about that. I suppose I may appear ready for a confrontation because I'm used to being on the defensive over social issues I've assumed were a given in 2016 (them, not the midwest - i'm hip to the saddle creek undercurrent of cool young people there)

 

[SearchMaster]

My MIL is from FL and does the same thing. She'll go on and on and on and on about nothing. This is no joke - in the past she would ramble on, barely taking a breath, for well over 30 minutes straight. When we first started dating my wife would get a call from her late in the evening (10pm-ish, my MIL is a night owl), and wake up at 3am with the phone on her chest because she fell asleep while her mother was talking.

She seems to have improved in this regard, she no longer calls late at night and when my wife talks to her, she does at least get some words in occasionally.

 

[Homerboy]

OP is an idiot.

Sent from the Midwest.

 

[slackerinabox]

OP is an idiot.

Sent from the Midwest.

You guys are so easily offended, just like my MIL. If someone asked me why NYers were assholes I wouldn't be offended, I may punch them, but I wouldn't be offended

 

[nakedfrog]

I've noticed this in the very long time I've lived in Nebraska. These people love to chat on and on about nothing, with anyone who will listen.

 

[vi edit]

Anyone that is within 50 miles of the Atlantic coast starting from Norfolk and going all the way up to Portland is an asshole. Just my experience dealing with them on the phone.

 

[TwiceOver]

So you people don't talk about your day? IE "Small Talk"? I guess when you live in "The Big City" you are more busy talking about violence, police brutality, the last time your car got stolen.

 

[slackerinabox]

I've noticed this in the very long time I've lived in Nebraska. These people love to chat on and on about nothing, with anyone who will listen.

Omaha's were most of my angst comes from! It's the storytelling that bothers me most - they tell the story as if it's a revelatory or hilarious story, and their peers slap their knees like they're George Carlin funny, but it's literally a linear story about waking up and going to the get the oil changed (literally linear, from taking a shower to breakfast).

 

[vi edit]

Or it could just be that it's someone raised in a different era than you that wasn't bombarded by TV, smart phones, and social media nonstop and they just talk to pass the time.

 

[slackerinabox]

So you people don't talk about your day? IE "Small Talk"? I guess when you live in "The Big City" you are more busy talking about violence, police brutality, the last time your car got stolen.

I converse and spend time with all sorts: in general, conversations about yourself are selfish, boring, and masturbatory unless they were solicited ("how was your day?") or they're entertaining. There's a vast range of topics to discuss, from politics to popular culture to, I don't know, asking us about our interests which we broadcast quite clearly.. I was just saying how funny it is getting into a NY argument: we mostly have the same politics but put us in a room and we just debate, to pass time. I've never had someone take 10 minutes out of a social situation to tell us about how they went to the bakery and proceeded to buy bread.. "Oh really? Fascinating stuff, my friend.."

 

[smitbret]

Maybe your in-laws have realized that you get annoyed with the smallest controversies and tend to blast their personal conversations all over places they don't belong.

I wouldn't share anything more than the most trivial things either.

 

[vi edit]

Have you any small town experience outside of the midwest? Because I think you can probably go outside of NYC to the western part of the state and experience the same exact thing. It's more small town than midwest. Midwest just tends to have a lot of small towns.

 

[slackerinabox]

Have you any small town experience outside of the midwest? Because I think you can probably go outside of NYC to the western part of the state and experience the same exact thing. It's more small town than midwest. Midwest just tends to have a lot of small towns.

You might be right, I have little reason to go upstate outside of college towns but what I do see of rural NY gives me the heebie jeebies. It may be a case of small-town and big city being too different in the end.

 

[dullard]

"Oh really? Fascinating stuff, my friend.."

I would say the same thing about someone trying to talk to me about a movie that I never saw and never will see. I see 1 movie per year and usually that is a repeat. You see 200+ per year.

Just because your interests differ doesn't make them the bad people.

 

[TwiceOver]

Really starting to see why your in-laws think you're a putz.

 

[slackerinabox]

Maybe your in-laws have realized that you get annoyed with the smallest controversies and tend to ] blast their personal conversations all over places they don't belong.

I wouldn't share anything more than the most trivial things either.

Well, I'm not the one blasting facebook with weird inspirational passive aggressive messages about how it's more important to be nice than right. Ha, as an aside - I get what you're saying. If I had an easily offended cousin I'd keep it breezy and light, I see that. But to be fair everything that's ruffled my feathers has been about the LGBT community and african americans, and I'm neither - I just don't get my panties in a wad about any old thing, I almost think they bring it up just to get to us bleeding hearts (my wife has left the room during some anti-gay rants, I'm not alone but I do admit my methods are perhaps too confrontational).

I'm sorry for ranting, I wish their were a MIL support group out there...

 

[gorcorps]

No, I *know* it's part of the culture my inlaws are part of, but it's very different than anything I've seen here. I'm actually quite attracted to midwest girls who run away to big cities as soon as they can, I dated many and married one!

I've toured the midwest a bit and know not all the food is bland and that not everyone's a bore. I'm just trying to pick up on a very specific personality not found anywhere around here, it reminds me of Flanders from the Simpsons and feels about 50 years too late. I know they're particularly awful, boring people but I've seen this in shops, am subject to it at social gatherings - it does not make me hate anyone, it just makes me curious.

It's also very midwestern to shut down curiosity, isn't it?

I'm from Colorado... but whatever floats your boat

 

[NoTine42]

I converse and spend time with all sorts: in general, conversations about yourself are selfish, boring, and masturbatory unless they were solicited ("how was your day?") or they're entertaining. There's a vast range of topics to discuss, from politics to popular culture to, I don't know, asking us about our interests which we broadcast quite clearly.. I was just saying how funny it is getting into a NY argument: we mostly have the same politics but put us in a room and we just debate, to pass time. I've never had someone take 10 minutes out of a social situation to tell us about how they went to the bakery and proceeded to buy bread.. "Oh really? Fascinating stuff, my friend.."

But was it a marble rye?

 

[vi edit]

I really think that's the case. Small town life is just different. I know. I lived in one for years. I've lived in a city of 2000 people. A subdivision in the middle of fucking no-where where it was a 5 mile drive just to get a gallon of milk. A city of 5,000,000+ (Phoenix), a kinda sorta big city (Omaha), a not really big city (Lexington, KY) and a college town of 80,000 people (Iowa City).

People from bigger cities just run to a different beat than small towns. And I'm not joking when I say that upper east coast (Philly, Jersey, NYC) all come across as raging assholes . I used to do phone support for stock traders out of the at region. I hated life supporting those pricks. Everything is just fast fast fast now now now and they just generally were absolutely unpleasant to work with.

Contrast that to your experiences talking to people with a slower pace. There just isn't as much going on and they are just talking to fill time. Go to just about any small town anywhere in the US and it's the same way.

 

[nakedfrog]

Omaha's were most of my angst comes from! It's the storytelling that bothers me most - they tell the story as if it's a revelatory or hilarious story, and their peers slap their knees like they're George Carlin funny, but it's literally a linear story about waking up and going to the get the oil changed (literally linear, from taking a shower to breakfast).

I've discussed it with other transplants to the area (though one of them is an NYC native that loves it here), and it's definitely a thing.

I really think that's the case. Small town life is just different. I know. I lived in one for years. I've lived in a city of 2000 people. A subdivision in the middle of fucking no-where where it was a 5 mile drive just to get a gallon of milk. A city of 5,000,000+ (Phoenix), a kinda sorta big city (Omaha), a not really big city (Lexington, KY) and a college town of 80,000 people (Iowa City).

People from bigger cities just run to a different beat than small towns. And I'm not joking when I say that upper east coast (Philly, Jersey, NYC) all come across as raging assholes . I used to do phone support for stock traders out of the at region. I hated life supporting those pricks. Everything is just fast fast fast now now now and they just generally were absolutely unpleasant to work with.

Contrast that to your experiences talking to people with a slower pace. There just isn't as much going on and they are just talking to fill time. Go to just about any small town anywhere in the US and it's the same way.

I will say the experience my GF related when she was working on insurance stuff over the phones corroborates this, when she called NYC/Jersey everything was curt/abrupt.
Both extremes are unpleasant to me, the "Get it done five minutes ago" and the "Well, I'm just going to get up and walk out of your office now because I have shit to do and you've been talking about your lawn for fifteen damn minutes".

 

[vi edit]

If the OP has problems with the Midwest, I invite him to go spend a week on a tiny Caribbean island. Those people *really* know how to chew your ear. And do it on "island time" which should make most east coasters skin crawl.

 

[slackerinabox]

I would say the same thing about someone trying to talk to me about a movie that I never saw and never will see. I see 1 movie per year and usually that is a repeat. You see 200+ per year.

Just because your interests differ doesn't make them the bad people.

Oh, I would talk to you about something that's mutually interesting then. I'd even fake an interest in knitting and ask questions, because that's more interesting than your bread story that turned out to be a non-story. Know what I mean?

 

[TheGardener]

Maybe you could get your MIL to register and post here. Then we could get her side of the story, and let you know whether she is as boring as you say.

 

[slackerinabox]

If the OP has problems with the Midwest, I invite him to go spend a week on a tiny Caribbean island. Those people *really* know how to chew your ear. And do it on "island time" which should make most east coasters skin crawl.

Actually, you have a point. I lived in a Caribbean hood and slow talkers were aplenty. But there was a wit and rhythm to it that made long conversations about nothing worthwile (like Seinfeld's humor making nothing interesting). It's just the dryness and the response of hilarious laughter that confuses me about the mundane stories, I feel like I'm the twilight zone because I'm never sure when i'm expected to laugh

 

[slackerinabox]

Maybe you could get your MIL to register and post here. Then we could get her side of the story, and let you know whether she is as boring as you say.

Enjoy the daily inspirational quotes over a stock image of a serene mountain

This thread's allowing a lot of self reflection - I think my stereotyping of the midwest is due to me really not liking my MIL and the company she keeps. Instead of just admitting she's a dud I think I'm looking into other reasons that justify her horribleness (and her parents are horrible too), it's almost compassionate - like it can't be her fault, it's the midwest!

I get why you guys are annoyed by the post, I'm mostly venting after going nuclear on them this week