My name is Ryan

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Hey guys,

I'm coming here because I have a difficulty talking about this subject with the people around me. Today, I'm going to tell my girlfriend that over the last few months I've lost over $6,000 dollars playing poker. $1500 happened today when AA and KK and QQ all got cracked by inferior cards and I got in while the value was good. There is no logic to poker, crazy shit happens, it's simply a game of having crazy shit happening less often to you over time.

While it's easy for me to blame outside factors, the simple fact is I was trying to achieve a lifestyle through a method that sucks people in and preys on the addictive personality and the constant desire for something more.

For some of us, there simply is nothing more, just trouble.

I started gambling in university casually with some friends of mine, it started off being a few dollars lost, then a hundred dollars lost and so on and so on.

About a year ago I kicked the habit, after losing hard earned money, friends, family and my own sanity, self confidence. But the thing that kept on catching up to me was the fact that I was surrounded by people of affluence who spent and spent and spent and all I wanted to do was be like them.

(Some of you are aware that I'm a bit of a snob, went to private school and have decently wealthy parents).. well most of the people I have surrounded myself with are the same way, except for the fact that I (and my girlfriend) are one of three with a job and while my parents cover food, and rent I've had to cover the fun stuff and I've never felt secure in the fact that I could keep up with everyone else on my wages alone. Instead of cutting expenses and not going out I took the stupid way out.

I couldn't keep up with them with the work that I was doing even though I get paid spectacularly well. It was back on. About two months ago my girlfriend and I got drunk and she wanted to go to the casino near our apartment. I almost peed myself because I was so scared, gambling was a demon that I did not want to confront again, but I didn't have it in my heart to say no.

For some reason I was just never content with being a university student that made a $1500 a month at work. Jesus, $1500 is pretty darned good for a student if you ask me!



Ladies and Gentlemen, I don't know whether to laugh because I've got this demon off of my back, or cry. I'm almost (almost) broke, though I take some solace in the fact that some of my friends are almost as broke as me. I cry about lost opportunities, money gone to waste, or the fact that I will not be able to enjoy things because of the money I have wasted.

My parents almost killed me last time, I do not know how to approach them this time. That is why I am here.

People, if you are not good at poker in the beginning, chances are you never will be. It is a mental weakness, people make money in poker by preying on those who are always looking for the next get rich quick scheme, who will push the limits of reasonableness to achieve what they otherwise shouldn't.

Please heed my advice and avoid the disaster that I have created for myself, it will make your life easier.

Sincerely,

Ryan
 

yllus

Elite Member & Lifer
Aug 20, 2000
20,577
432
126
Have you considered seeing a therapist? You seem to have a number of issues that a good therapist might be able to help you work through. If you've never been to see one before, keep in mind that a therapist doesn't ever give you turnkey solutions - they just listen and propose different, structured ways to approaching a problem. It's money much better spent than how you're doing so currently.
 

James Bond

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2005
6,023
0
0
At least you realize you've got a problem. It seems like most people in your position just go into denial until they are beyond screwed.
 

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Originally posted by: yllus
Have you considered seeing a therapist? You seem to have a number of issues that a good therapist might be able to help you work through. If you've never been to see one before, keep in mind that a therapist doesn't ever give you turnkey solutions - they just listen and propose different, structured ways to approaching a problem. It's money much better spent than how you're doing so currently.

Yeah I'm going to join a gamblers anonymous group, as well as go back to therapy.

I don't know what's more disappointing, the relapse or the fact that I have to tell my girlfriend I can't afford to go on vacation next month.

 

Miramonti

Lifer
Aug 26, 2000
28,651
100
91
In general, it's better to be addicted to something you're good at.

Hopefully you've learned your lesson, but if you're truly addicted, you didn't and will do it again unless you get some help.
 

yllus

Elite Member & Lifer
Aug 20, 2000
20,577
432
126
Originally posted by: RbSX
Originally posted by: yllus
Have you considered seeing a therapist? You seem to have a number of issues that a good therapist might be able to help you work through. If you've never been to see one before, keep in mind that a therapist doesn't ever give you turnkey solutions - they just listen and propose different, structured ways to approaching a problem. It's money much better spent than how you're doing so currently.

Yeah I'm going to join a gamblers anonymous group, as well as go back to therapy.

I don't know what's more disappointing, the relapse or the fact that I have to tell my girlfriend I can't afford to go on vacation next month.

Missing your vacation is going to suck and the conversation isn't going to be a high point in your life, but as disappointed as she may be, I'm sure she'll understand. It could've been much worse, so look on the bright side.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go book my flight to New Zealand.
 

hoihtah

Diamond Member
Jan 12, 2001
5,183
0
76
i played cards on a weekly bases at one point in my life.
but only with with friends, never at a casino table.
i do not mean to sound condescending.
i found out earlier in my life that i have a certain personality that drives me to see things to the end.
it's just a way of me saying that i get addicted to things fast.
so i made a conscience decision to stay away from gambling.

if i may offer you a humble advise, do get others involved.
just like smoking, drinking and whatever else we get hooked onto, at the end, it is your fight alone.
but having others stand by you during the fight helps like none other.
family is always a good starting point.
 

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Originally posted by: hoihtah
i played cards on a weekly bases at one point in my life.
but only with with friends, never at a casino table.
i do not mean to sound condescending.
i found out earlier in my life that i have a certain personality that drives me to see things to the end.
it's just a way of me saying that i get addicted to things fast.
so i made a conscience decision to stay away from gambling.

if i may offer you a humble advise, do get others involved.
just like smoking, drinking and whatever else we get hooked onto, at the end, it is your fight alone.
but having others stand by you during the fight helps like none other.
family is always a good starting point.

Yeah this is going to be tough, but I've come to the same conclusion as you have as well.

 

buck

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
12,273
4
81
I am playing online poker right now, if you change your mind please com back to the .25/.50 NL tables. You can always have a seat next to me.
 

James Bond

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2005
6,023
0
0
Originally posted by: buck
I am playing online poker right now, if you change your mind please com back to the .25/.50 NL tables. You can always have a seat next to me.

LOL.
 

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
Originally posted by: buck
I am playing online poker right now, if you change your mind please com back to the .25/.50 NL tables. You can always have a seat next to me.

Pfft .25/.50 I haven't played there in a while.

Thanks for the offer but I just deleted all of the software off of my PC and I don't ever plan on installing it again.
 

gorcorps

aka Brandon
Jul 18, 2004
30,739
452
126
People, if you are not good at poker in the beginning, chances are you never will be.

Bullshit. Just like everything else, poker can be learned with practice. You just can never go in expecting to win. Poker is a GAME, not a way to make a living... and when you start blurring that border that's when you get in trouble. Never play with something you can't afford to lose.
 

Safeway

Lifer
Jun 22, 2004
12,074
9
81
I had a similar problem in undergrad, but it worked out in the end.

A friend of mine invited to me a dorm-room poker game. I spent 3 hours there, left $300 richer. It was awesome. The same friend introduced me to online poker shortly after. My first $50 invested became $500 in one day. And then I hit a dead streak -- bad calls, bad raised, bad cards, higher limits, entering tournaments -- and found my way to $5. In the end, after a year of on-and-off, win-and-lose, mania-and-depression, I stopped playing. I looked at my account history and realized I was only $100 in the hole, not counting the $300 initial gain. So over a year of such strife, I made profited $200.

It was not worth it. I will still play change poker with friends (bring $10 to $20 in pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, and gold dollars) -- that is just too fun.
 

buck

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
12,273
4
81
Originally posted by: RbSX
Originally posted by: buck
I am playing online poker right now, if you change your mind please com back to the .25/.50 NL tables. You can always have a seat next to me.

Pfft .25/.50 I haven't played there in a while.

Thanks for the offer but I just deleted all of the software off of my PC and I don't ever plan on installing it again.

Don't pfft me, I use proper bankroll management, unlike you blowing your whole wad.


Look on the bright side, at least you have mommy and daddy to help you out, some people are seriously fucked because of gambling problems.
 

PepePeru

Diamond Member
Jul 21, 2005
3,846
0
0
at least you're not blaming anyone else.

my friend's bitch of a GF blamed ME for one of her bad beats at poker table while we were LV. She let it ruin the rest of our trip there.

It was my fault that we stopped at that casino, my fault that she bought in, my fault that she caught a bad beat.

good times.

 

buck

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
12,273
4
81
Originally posted by: gorcorps
People, if you are not good at poker in the beginning, chances are you never will be.

Bullshit. Just like everything else, poker can be learned with practice. You just can never go in expecting to win. Poker is a GAME, not a way to make a living... and when you start blurring that border that's when you get in trouble. Never play with something you can't afford to lose.

Agreed.
 

buck

Lifer
Dec 11, 2000
12,273
4
81
Originally posted by: G Wizard
at least you're not blaming anyone else.

my friend's bitch of a GF blamed ME for one of her bad beats at poker table while we were LV. She let it ruin the rest of our trip there.

It was my fault that we stopped at that casino, my fault that she bought in, my fault that she caught a bad beat.

good times.

nothing a punch to the tit wouldnt fix.
 

moparacer

Golden Member
Dec 10, 2003
1,336
0
76
I'm coming here because I have a difficulty talking about this subject with the people around me. Today, I'm going to tell my girlfriend that over the last few months I've lost over $6,000 dollars playing poker. $1500 happened today when AA and KK and QQ all got cracked by inferior cards and I got in while the value was good. There is no logic to poker, crazy shit happens, it's simply a game of having crazy shit happening less often to you over time.

Sometimes its not the hands you play, but the hands you DONT play......

I am playing measly .10 .20 limit holdem now and I would never waste anymore of my hard earned money playing any higher stakes online. Too many things ar foul with online play.

Might sound funny but I set down at a table with 4.00 and if I lose it I am done. If you have a problem with controlling it, like drugs, you pretty much have to stay away from it.....

Hope if works out for you.


 
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