My sister has a problem

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alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,967
19
81
Originally posted by: BassBomb
Who said anything about dating? I'm not looking for anyone atm. I don't have a curfew, I have my own car, I pay my own tuition.

I'd rather take living in a good neighbourhood with my family in a 3400sq/ft house rather than living alone in some POS apartment using up all the money I earn on my work terms.

Maybe you grew up without a tight knit family life, in which the first thing you wanted to do was get away from them and see em on Christmas only.

Like I said, you are still a kid in mindset. Video games and car...may as well never move out then.

I am still close to my family. I see my parents at least once a month.

I worked two jobs growing up and after college bought my first house at 23. I still live in the same county as my parents.

EVERYONE would love to be able to just live off someone elses dime, but you give up too much PRIVACY to do so. It's not about curfews or rules...it's not your own place.

I also don't know why people think it's always abyssmal living out on your own...get a couple roommates and spend less on bawlz and online fees.

Employers love you guys though...you are so quick to take next to nothing for a job and then think you are rolling in dough.
 

evident

Lifer
Apr 5, 2005
11,938
538
126
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: BassBomb
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: BassBomb
Originally posted by: evident
Originally posted by: Gothgar
lol you are going to live at home till you are almost 25?

what's wrong w/ living at home to save a ton of $?

have fun paying ridic rent!

I save about 3 grand on my school terms by living at home

Yeah let's never move out...save on food, rent...hell even mom can do your laundry.

She already does

Moving out is overrated, I did it when on one of my coop terms which my job was 4 hours away

I guess video games are cooler than women to you.

No you are not really dating when you live at home still.

After i graduated, i moved home and started work. I have a girlfriend of 4 years now... i guess saving up for a house, paying off all my student loans while playing some video games in my parents basement is a bad idea, right? everyone has a different situation, but your must move out at 18 attitude makes it seem like your dad walked in on you multiple times while you were beating off...

:roll:
 

imported_Baloo

Golden Member
Feb 2, 2006
1,782
0
0
What you don't see, is that you are probably part of her problem. You have said nothing to show that drinking actually is a problem for her. So she drank two smirnoffs. Big f'ing deal! I'd bet if she were your older brother, you'd think nothing of it if he drank 3 or 4. The problem is not the drinking, it's the why she is drinking. As young as you are to think you are so far above her and wanting to be her father is a bit of a stretch. You are only two years older than her, you might just as well be the same age for what two extra years can bring in terms of wisdom. Read your post. You talk more about yourself than you do about her, yet your title suggests your post is about her. Got to burst your bubble here, it ain't about her. It's about you looking for a boost in your own self esteem at the expense of your sister. I'm not gonna give it to you.
 

PKPunk

Senior member
Feb 26, 2001
384
0
0
Originally posted by: finite automaton
The only example I will give is the time when she was about 18 and my mother got a phone call from one of her friends parents telling my mother to come get my sister. When my mom got there, she was out cold (you can figure out why).

Ok, fine, I'll give you another example. Remember, she's 20. A month ago she got into a car accident; put a kid in the hospital and got a (yep, you guessed it) a DUI.

Edit: I appreciate the constructive criticism about my age and living at home. I would've had to have been a moron to not expect it. If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's to not compare yourself to others. So if you think your comments bother me, you're wrong. Living at home has enabled me to go to school full time, work for pleasure (that is, take the time to find a job that I enjoy, and now I have found one), and (almost) set my entire career in stone. I realize that can all be done while living on your own, but it's a lot more difficult and takes more time.

Usually after a DUI they force you to go to rehab. Since accident just happened the court may not have ordered her into a program yet. If someone was hurt then it is a felony DUI and usually carries jail time. Also since she's under 21 the punishments for a DUI are much more severe than people over 21. She should definitely get her butt into a treatment program if she is facing a felony DUI (really any DUI) because if you voluntarily go to rehab they are more likely to plea bargain your sentence or give you a reduced sentence. Also if she checks into a 30 day program they will substitute jail time for the time you spent in the live in rehab.

The DUI is probably a good thing since it will force her to go into a rehab program.
 

KurskKnyaz

Senior member
Dec 1, 2003
880
1
81
Originally posted by: finite automaton
Good evening all. I wanted to share a little story with all of you hoping to get some good ideas. My sister has a drinking problem, and has for ~3 years now. She is 20. My mom kicked her out for about 2 years, softened up, and let her back in about a week ago. I am 23, still living at home. I am in college, have a great internship, and am aiming to move out in about 1.5 years. I do not want to have to worry about her when I am on my own.

She turns 21 in approximately 6 months and my goal is to attempt to wake her up before her 21st birthday. I do not want to go to my mother because she had a chance and her methods didn't do a thing (except make things worse).

I saw two smirnoff malt liquor bottles in the fridge last night with an unknown origin. My suspicions were that they were from my sister. When I came home from work today (around 4:30) I saw her drinking one. I looked in the fridge, and they were both gone.

Anyone have any tips? I already gave her a lecture about having a repeat of 2 years ago. All she kept saying was "ok, I know." I want to at least attempt to make a difference in her life.

Here is the deal: You give me ideas that work and I will come back with pictures.

Thanks.

A drinking problem that started when she was 18? No way. Even in people who are genetically predispositioned to alcoholism it takes a long time to develop. Sounds like your mom is just pissed at her underage drinking. This is not a case of alcoholism.


EDIT:

BTW I've been getting totally wasted between the ages of 14-23. My 19th birthday was like this: Left house with friends and a bottle of Hennessy ....woke up, and as I stretched my arms while laying down I realized that my right arm reached passed where the wall is on the right side of my bed. Opened my eyes and realized I was on a friends couch; not by bed. Friends filled in the "..." between the events.


What your sister has is some issues with authority and probably wants attention. The DUI is big shit though.
 

KurskKnyaz

Senior member
Dec 1, 2003
880
1
81
Originally posted by: Gothgar
lol you are going to live at home till you are almost 25?

i'm 25 and i'm still living at home. I just graduated college. Now I'm studying and trying to apply to dental school and looking for a part time job. Do you have any awareness of our economy? Or what rent is in NY? Where do you live? On campus with tuition paid for by your parents/government?
 

thepd7

Diamond Member
Jan 2, 2005
9,429
0
0
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Originally posted by: thepd7
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Its pretty much accepted that people 18-25 do alot of drinking.

DUI's are generally accepted? By who?

I never said anything about DUI actually my statement couldn't have been any more straight forward.

Your statement doesn't apply to this thread then.
 

Chunkee

Lifer
Jul 28, 2002
10,391
1
81
so out of all the crack pot opinions, and of course snide remarks, which of those did you choose to implement?
 

nerp

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2005
9,866
105
106
I'm 30 and live with my girlfriends parents. Why?

They have 20 acres of woods and famland, a massive house with tons of empty space, no rent, huge reduction in food costs, privacy, our own accessory apartment with wood burning stove, zero heat bill, zero electricity bill, gardens, patio, walking trails, 1 mile from work (I spend about $5 to $10 in gas per week because I bike everywhere), etc. I eat good fresh home cooking every night and have saved over $25,000 in the last year.

The house would otherwise be just her parents -- the rest of the kids are either in college or already graduated. They're lonely and my girl and I bring some energy to the house and can help deal with the farm work on weekends. My girlfriend is a teacher with a masters degree and I'm a newspaper reporter about 6 months from getting my masters. We both make enough money to buy a really nice house of our own but we felt that spending time with her folks as they enter their golden years while saving buckets of money made a lot of sense. It's a situation that we wanted to take advantage of because her parents have the land and space to accomdate us without it being like we're living in a damp basement.

I've been toItaly three times in the last year,France twice in the past two years, we're going to Japan later this year and next year we're planning on going to Australia, Korea, China or maybe back to Italy again. Meanwhile, we're saving money hand over fist. By the time we move out we'll be able to buy the house we want in cash, all up front. We plan on buying some land nearby and building our own house and incorporating a large solar array and wind turbine into the construction cost.

Living with family makes a lot of sense economically and environmetnally. Maybe if your parents live in some tiny condo in some benign and unpleasant place like Tampa or Detriot, it might suck to live here. But not where I'm at. And, as I said, we have an accessory apartment so it's like we have our own place. We can have wild sex as loud as we want and have complete and utter privacy. In fact, we have a lot more privacy where we are than anyone living in an apartment building or some cramped suburban community where people can peer into your back yard through their bathroom window while they're taking a dump. I can sunbathe nude and sometimes we play badmitten naked in the field without concern. Good luck doing that in a condo complex, apartment building or anywhere that isn't surrouned by 20 acres of agriculture and forest. And no, it's not the middle of nowhere -- Southern RI is densely populated and I'm about 20 minutes from Providence, 1.5 hours from boston and 2.5 hours to NYC. I can walk to the market and bike to the beach.
 
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