My son told me something no father wants to hear.

[blackdogdeek]

paternity test, stat!

sorry, op, my girls both love bacon. i usually have to make two packs so there is some left over for me.

 

[Farmer]

It is only the beginning. Next you will catch him playing with dolls and painting his nails. Good job dad...

It is only the beginning. Next you will catch him sucking dick. Good job dad...

 

[JS80]

I don't take for granted that my 2 year old loves the bacon

 

[Dirigible]

This is a function of where you live (proximity to SF and Stanford 'n shit).

Isn't there such a thing as Tofu Bacon on the shelves there?

I fear this is true. We live about a mile from the UC Berkely campus. He gets far too much exposure to soy fake bacon (which I am sad to report he loves).

Sigh. I have only myself to blame.


Gotta start a drastic de-hippiefying regimen for the whole family.

 

[KGB]

I fear this is true. We live about a mile from the UC Berkely campus. He gets far too much exposure to soy fake bacon (which I am sad to report he loves).

Sigh. I have only myself to blame.


Gotta start a drastic de-hippiefying regimen for the whole family.

I suggest you move to Montana, start raising dental floss and adopt Dick Cheney as your new Messiah. :fap:

 

[gaidensensei]

I fear this is true. We live about a mile from the UC Berkely campus. He gets far too much exposure to soy fake bacon (which I am sad to report he loves).

Sigh. I have only myself to blame.


Gotta start a drastic de-hippiefying regimen for the whole family.

Won't be long before soylent brown comes in.
Start out slow to recede this process. Get some pork rind chips, taco truck thursdays, bacon bits in his veggies.

 

[Oil]

I prefer ham

 

[dpodblood]

That's just terrible.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Well how do you make the bacon? Is it soggy and flacid with fat still rubbery and tough or do you cook it as it should be and is crisp and there are no tough or chewy parts? I love bacon, but nothing is worse than badly cooked bacon.

 

[Dirigible]

Well how do you make the bacon? Is it soggy and flacid with fat still rubbery and tough or do you cook it as it should be and is crisp and there are no tough or chewy parts? I love bacon, but nothing is worse than badly cooked bacon.

Sir, you wound me.

I place each strip of bacon into the pan with care. I watch it carefully as it cooks, for I know the distance between "crispy and delicious" and "burned" is but an eyeblink. I do not take all the bacon out at once, but instead carefully scrutinize, leaning in close to see and totally heedless of my own safety while laughing off bacon spatter, to see which pieces are done and which ones need a little more time on the heat.

Every bite of my bacon crumbles in the mouth to send my diners on a journey of gustatory bliss the likes of which they may never experience again on this plane of existence.

Good day to you, sir!

 

[blackdogdeek]

Well how do you make the bacon? Is it soggy and flacid with fat still rubbery and tough or do you cook it as it should be and is crisp and there are no tough or chewy parts? I love bacon, but nothing is worse than badly cooked bacon.

ban!

newton's third law states: crisp bacon > badly cooked bacon > burnt bacon >>>> *

 

[MotF Bane]

I'm sorry, Dirigible. Your proximity to Seriously Fucked, CA and Bullshit, CA has corrupted your son. This is only the first incident.

Your only hope is to move to a right-wing state, surrounded by miles of woods, mountains, and lakes, where you can teach him to hunt, kill, and eat.

 

[Blackjack200]

I'm sorry, Dirigible. Your proximity to Seriously Fucked, CA and Bullshit, CA has corrupted your son. This is only the first incident.

Your only hope is to move to a right-wing state, surrounded by miles of woods, mountains, and lakes, where you can teach him to hunt, kill, and eat.

I say take him North to Canada and teach him to rape and pillage small towns. He wouldn't face too much resistance. As the size of his raiding party grows he will eventually be able to take out small cities.

 

[SunnyD]

The only thing better than bacon is bacon + sex.

 

[kt]

It is only the beginning. Next you will catch him sucking dick. Good job dad...

So he's not entirely a vegetarian...

 

[tooriski]

my 2 yr. old loves bacon. if he didn't i wouldn't care.

 

[MotF Bane]

I say take him North to Canada and teach him to rape and pillage small towns. He wouldn't face too much resistance. As the size of his raiding party grows he will eventually be able to take out small cities.

An excellent plan. He'll eventually lead an army of bears and moose into Ottawa, and declare himself the First Overlord of America's Hat.

 

[MotF Bane]

So he's not entirely a vegetarian...

Small miracles there!

 

[schneiderguy]

If you adopt me I will eat your bacon for you.

 

[Analog]

 

[chuckywang]

Hey everybody, eating healthy is UNMANLY!!

 

[schneiderguy]

Hey everybody, eating healthy is UNMANLY!!

I'd rather eat bacon and die at 75 than eat rabbit food and die at 100.

 

[Scotteq]

I fear this is true. We live about a mile from the UC Berkely campus. He gets far too much exposure to soy fake bacon (which I am sad to report he loves).

Sigh. I have only myself to blame.


Gotta start a drastic de-hippiefying regimen for the whole family.

I suggest you move to Montana, start raising dental floss and adopt Dick Cheney as your new Messiah. :fap:

I'm sorry, Dirigible. Your proximity to Seriously Fucked, CA and Bullshit, CA has corrupted your son. This is only the first incident.

Your only hope is to move to a right-wing state, surrounded by miles of woods, mountains, and lakes, where you can teach him to hunt, kill, and eat.

It's too late: "They" have already taught the child to go both ways before he crosses the street...

 

[BoomerD]

You're obviously looking at this from the wrong perspective.

You SHOULD have told him, "That's good son. That means there is more bacon for ME."

 

[IcePickFreak]

Hey everybody, eating healthy is UNMANLY!!