My wife wants to get a dog and I don't.

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DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
0
Originally posted by: D1gger
My kids are 15 and 18.

I agree with your diagnosis of empty nest syndrome. I just hope that she adjusts before we have a sh1tsu.

This is common. Take her out to do something together without the kids. Get her used to the idea of spending more time with you after an extended 15-20 years of the collective unit including your kids.

Might I suggest something you haven't done before. Go for dance lessons or a picnic in the park.

Do you have family friends that are in the same situation? Plan some events you guys can go to. Show her attention and affection and she may turn around about it.
 

SophalotJack

Banned
Jan 6, 2006
1,252
0
0
Originally posted by: Tom
"I see them as something that costs money, ties you down, causes grief, smells, makes a mess, and needs constant attention."


How do you see your wife ? How does she see you ?


Everybody's different, I wouldn't think I had the right to dictate to my wife what she could or couldn't do, but there aren't many things we would disagree about anyway, so I'm pretty lucky.

unless he is from the backwoods... I don't think he wants to pay for something that he can't bang and can't cook, clean for him.
 

Golgatha

Lifer
Jul 18, 2003
12,680
1,597
126
Originally posted by: DaShen
It is between you and your wife. Not totally unreasonable, but you don't want to make it an ultimatum.

BTW, it is a good way to get used to the idea of a kid because if you think a pet is a lot of trouble, you are in for a lot of hurt when you have a kid...

It has to be an ultimatum? There either is a dog or there is no dog.

IMO pets are a money pit, they smell bad, tear up your house, are a liability if they destroy other's property (or kill their kid...whatever), a disease carrier, an insect carrier, they're very loud (especially when people are trying to sleep it seems), want constant attention, and are extra work (exercise, feed, etc.) on top of your already busy schedule. I see no benefits to owning any four legged pets. Fish can teach the same responsibility ethics that a dog can to small children with about 5% of the costs and effort of larger creatures, if one wants to make that arguement.

The only way I would own a four legged pet is if I had some use for it or owned a large amount of farm land. Farm dogs and cats are great. They have plenty of room to run around (no need to exercise them) and hunt creatures that are even more annoying to deal with (racoons, squirrels, snakes, etc.) for food. If you have a large amount of farm land and like to hunt, a dog can make an excellent tool for hunting all sorts of birds as well. However, in a nice suburbanite setting (which pets are typically found in), they are an annoyance and huge liability for reasons previously stated.
 
Dec 4, 2002
18,211
1
0
Sounds like you were traumatized when you were younger for that week. Instead of talking about that, you decide to hold your ground on the cost and time aspect of owning a dog, which is typical for a guy to do. You're both being immature, good thing you married eachother. :thumbsup:
 

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,648
201
106
Originally posted by: electrosoccertux
Originally posted by: D1gger
Originally posted by: sao123
I believe you need to watch the movie "The last boy scout"... Bruce willis will explain to you that she either needs to buy a dog, or she will end up cheating on you with some guy (namely your best friend, who would cut off a certain number of fingers, just to sleep with your wife)...

Buy her a dam dog.

/thread

I think I would rather have her cheat on me than get a dog. Her banging some other guy doesn't require me to get up in the middle of the night to look after a sick dog.

lol you could tell her that. "You know, honey, if you just want another guy to bang, knock yourself out. I'd rather that than a dog." LOL.


Just make sure you collect the cut off fingers.
 

iroast

Golden Member
May 5, 2005
1,364
3
81
Having a dog is both good and bad.

Goods:
You get your exercise if you jog with it.
Love/loyalty/companionship

Bad:
The mess

Cost is minimal if you take good care of your dog. Initial cost isn't that bad (visit to the vet, registration fees, toys, foods, snacks, etc).

Compromise with the wife. She is to take care of it during the day and all you do is walk it at night?
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,713
12
56
Originally posted by: D1gger
Some back story is, I have never had a pet, and I have absolutely no desire to start now. I see them as something that costs money, ties you down, causes grief, smells, makes a mess, and needs constant attention.

My wife has now decided she needs a dog (I think it is because our kids are growing up and do not need her attention as much as they used to). She is now not speaking to me because I said in no uncertain terms that I do not want a pet in the house.

As much as she says she will look after the dog, I know that I would end up with some of the work, and it would obviously impact our lives, and I just don't want to go there.

Am I being unreasonable?
if you live in Southern Cal by some wild chance i have the perfect dog for you.

 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,188
2,430
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: tk109
I've never understood peoples dependence on a pet.

The thing that sucks is you will always be the bad guy now. People look at you like you have the problem. I can't stand pets either. Feel the same way you do. And haveing a smelly annoying pet around drives me nuts.

I'm alergic too and I still get it held against me for not liking them. I'm sorry but it's a two person decision. And the other person should never treat the other bad for casting or not casting their vote. If you dont want one then you dont, and dont get one. People should matter the most and the person you are with. You dont need a damn animal to enrich your life together. And they certainly dont need to treat you like crap because the other person doesnt want one.


Expecting the pet loving partner to abide by your "no"vote is reasonable, expecting them to act all happy and loving and smiling about it is not.
 

Ronstang

Lifer
Jul 8, 2000
12,493
18
81
Originally posted by: D1gger
Some back story is, I have never had a pet, and I have absolutely no desire to start now. I see them as something that costs money, ties you down, causes grief, smells, makes a mess, and needs constant attention.

You have just described wives and kids also.....at least the dog will always be loyal of you treat it right.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,472
867
126
Dogs are a big PITA. They are needy as hell and you can't ever do anything spontaneous because you always have to consider the damned dog. Want to go out to dinner after work? Can't, gotta get home and let the dog out. Want to go away for the weekend? You'll have to take the dog to a friend's house or board it.

Puppies are the worst. They destroy everything and they are in that stage for a good 2-3 years.

That said, if the wife wants it you'll cave in and end up with one anyway.

Be sure to post pics after you get your new dog. :laugh:
 

DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
0
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Dogs are a big PITA. They are needy as hell and you can't ever do anything spontaneous because you always have to consider the damned dog. Want to go out to dinner after work? Can't, gotta get home and let the dog out. Want to go away for the weekend? You'll have to take the dog to a friend's house or board it.

Puppies are the worst. They destroy everything and they are in that stage for a good 2-3 years.

That said, if the wife wants it you'll cave in and end up with one anyway.

Be sure to post pics after you get your new dog. :laugh:

That is pretty true, unless he can figure out a way to change the wife's mind. That is why I suggest keeping her preoccupied with dance lessons, a picnic.... The more she gets to be intimate with you without the hassles of the kids, the more she will warm up to the idea of not having the kids around all the time. Chances are she is a little scared of this, too.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,188
2,430
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Dogs are a big PITA. They are needy as hell and you can't ever do anything spontaneous because you always have to consider the damned dog. Want to go out to dinner after work? Can't, gotta get home and let the dog out. Want to go away for the weekend? You'll have to take the dog to a friend's house or board it.

Puppies are the worst. They destroy everything and they are in that stage for a good 2-3 years.

That said, if the wife wants it you'll cave in and end up with one anyway.

Be sure to post pics after you get your new dog. :laugh:

We've just gone thru this issue in my house,end result I called the owner back and told her no go on the dog. Bringing a dog into a house when not everyone is in agreement and happy about the choice is ultimatelty unfair to the animal.
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,713
12
56
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Dogs are a big PITA. They are needy as hell and you can't ever do anything spontaneous because you always have to consider the damned dog. Want to go out to dinner after work? Can't, gotta get home and let the dog out. Want to go away for the weekend? You'll have to take the dog to a friend's house or board it.

Puppies are the worst. They destroy everything and they are in that stage for a good 2-3 years.

That said, if the wife wants it you'll cave in and end up with one anyway.

Be sure to post pics after you get your new dog. :laugh:
honestly Jules it depends on the breed. i can go out to eat after work and not have to worry about letting my dog out until i get home. she can go that long.

also, i have an outside pen she can stay in if i am going to be out for a long time.

and as far as boarding her somewhere when i leave for vacation, i have grandparents who take her. even if i didn't, i would board her somewhere. pets aren't cost free. that's part of the package.

the puppy stage? she never destroyed anything. i made sure she had adequate toys to chew on.

 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,472
867
126
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Dogs are a big PITA. They are needy as hell and you can't ever do anything spontaneous because you always have to consider the damned dog. Want to go out to dinner after work? Can't, gotta get home and let the dog out. Want to go away for the weekend? You'll have to take the dog to a friend's house or board it.

Puppies are the worst. They destroy everything and they are in that stage for a good 2-3 years.

That said, if the wife wants it you'll cave in and end up with one anyway.

Be sure to post pics after you get your new dog. :laugh:

We've just gone thru this issue in my house,end result I called the owner back and told her no go on the dog. Bringing a dog into a house when not everyone is in agreement and happy about the choice is ultimatelty unfair to the animal.

Yeah, I didn't even get into the vet bills...:roll:
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,713
12
56
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Dogs are a big PITA. They are needy as hell and you can't ever do anything spontaneous because you always have to consider the damned dog. Want to go out to dinner after work? Can't, gotta get home and let the dog out. Want to go away for the weekend? You'll have to take the dog to a friend's house or board it.

Puppies are the worst. They destroy everything and they are in that stage for a good 2-3 years.

That said, if the wife wants it you'll cave in and end up with one anyway.

Be sure to post pics after you get your new dog. :laugh:

We've just gone thru this issue in my house,end result I called the owner back and told her no go on the dog. Bringing a dog into a house when not everyone is in agreement and happy about the choice is ultimatelty unfair to the animal.

Yeah, I didn't even get into the vet bills...:roll:

you anti-dogtite

 

0roo0roo

No Lifer
Sep 21, 2002
64,862
84
91
well trained dog isn't much of a burden, they are fun. training period early on is important since their windows of socialization etc are very short. just read up, and force her to read up so she doesn't mistakenly train it into bad behavior based on faulty assumptions about how dogs think. now if u just screw around and treat it like a human or something it'll become a terror. and spay/neurter it quick. as for impacting sponteneous stuff, if its trained well your friends will like it and wont mind taking care of it for a while
 

Shortcut

Golden Member
Jul 24, 2003
1,107
0
0
if you decide to get a dog, try to convince your wife to adopt a older dog (around 2-3 yrs old will be perfect), because puppies are a LOT of work.

our pug was chewed through a lot of stuff in our home when she was young, and had tons of energy. now that she's 2 yrs old, she much more sedate, and rarely chews anything else besides her toys.
 

thedarkwolf

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 1999
9,003
111
106
My parents have had up to 3 dogs and 5 cats at one time and my dad said no to all of them . He always ends up liking them all eventually.
 

0roo0roo

No Lifer
Sep 21, 2002
64,862
84
91
Originally posted by: Shortcut
if you decide to get a dog, try to convince your wife to adopt a older dog (around 2-3 yrs old will be perfect), because puppies are a LOT of work.

our pug was chewed through a lot of stuff in our home when she was young, and had tons of energy. now that she's 2 yrs old, she much more sedate, and rarely chews anything else besides her toys.

naw, because the socialization period and other important stages happen in the first year of puppyhood. its important you have control of it in this period and make sure it gets trained well. 2-3years old u may have problems you have to work hard to train it out of, and some that just cant' be solved. u simply dont know how well its been handled those years it wasn't yours, what trauma it had, what sets it off etc
 

Thraxen

Diamond Member
Dec 3, 2001
4,683
1
81
We have a nearly perfect set-up for our dogs. We have a large sunroom at the back of the house that has a doggie door to the back yard. The dogs are not allowed in the rest of the house. So a lot of the problems people are talking about here don't apply at all. Never have to let the dog out to poop or anything of that sort. They don't have to be let in to get out of bad weather. They can't tear anything up in the rest of the house and we don't keep anything we can't afford to have torn up in the sun room (they don't tear anything up anyway). Occasionally we might have to lock them in the sun room at night if they get to barking at a wild animal of some sort, but those situations are fairly rare. They are pretty good about not barking needlessly.
 

Raduque

Lifer
Aug 22, 2004
13,141
138
106
Originally posted by: D1gger
Some back story is, I have never had a pet, and I have absolutely no desire to start now. I see them as something that costs money, ties you down, causes grief, smells, makes a mess, and needs constant attention.

People are smelly, cost money, tie you down, cause grief, and many of them smell and make much bigger messes then pets. Don't you just love people who generalize? :disgust:

Maybe you should, in the interests of a harmonious household, take your wife to the humane society and play with a few puppies

Honestly, I think the OPs problem is twofold: he was traumatized because he didn't want responsibility at a young age, and now that his kids are (mostly) old enough to take care of themselves, he doesn't want to deal with having to raise something dependent on him.


Oh, and for the guy who said fishes are easier to take care of....... only if you like replacing them every couple of weeks, because you don't know anything about cycling a tank or doing water changes, or making sure the ph is correct! If anything, fish are a bigger hassle to keep then cats.


edit: fixed my quote tags
 
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