My wife wants to get a dog and I don't.

[D1gger]

Originally posted by: nutxo
Meh. Better let her have a dog or she'll have a baby.

If she has another baby it will be because she has taken another lover. I've been to the vet to get fixed.

 

[dirtboy]

Maybe you should pay more attention to your wife. She wants a dog because your kids don't need her attention, so try giving her some. If you are unwilling, you should let her have a dog.

 

[Azraele]

It sounds to me like there are a few issues here. First, you're basing your opinion on pets on one really bad experience you had when you were 10. Maybe you're someone who's not interested in a pet, but it might help to show your wife why you're so opposed to the idea. Would it really make you that unhappy? Is there some middle ground you could reach? She's obviously not happy, something is missing for her, and she needs to fill that to feel whole. So she comes to you with the idea to get a dog, and you flat out tell her no rather than try to help her through what's bothering her.

The real issue is not the dog, but your wife's feelings. See if there's another alternative that will make you both happy.

 

[D1gger]

Originally posted by: Azraele
It sounds to me like there are a few issues here. First, you're basing your opinion on pets on one really bad experience you had when you were 10. Maybe you're someone who's not interested in a pet, but it might help to show your wife why you're so opposed to the idea. Would it really make you that unhappy? Is there some middle ground you could reach? She's obviously not happy, something is missing for her, and she needs to fill that to feel whole. So she comes to you with the idea to get a dog, and you flat out tell her no rather than try to help her through what's bothering her.

The real issue is not the dog, but your wife's feelings. See if there's another alternative that will make you both happy.

I realize it is a sympton of her feeling at a loss, and I have tried to fill that gap for her with spending more time together. It does not seem to have the same effect as someone being 100% reliant on her.

This is not the first time we have been around this circle. She has said she has wanted a dog in the past, and we have discussed the up and down sides to having a dog. She understands that I do not want pets, yet in times of stress she returns to it as something she knows will get under my skin. I am just sick of it and find myself getting more angry, rather than trying to understand her needs. That is why I posed the question about am I being unreasonable.

edit: typos

 

[chrisms]

I cannot relate to your situation too much because you have already have kids, but I will offer some advice.

My girlfriend also wants a dog but I talked her out of it because it is basically like having a kid, you are tied down to it and it prevents you from leaving for any extended period of time without pawning the pet off on somebody else. Dogs live around 14 years and that is a long time to be tied down, especially for us because we have grown fond of travelling.

For you I don't see the same problem as you have already had children and are not in any situation where it seems you will be forced to abandon the dog. Besides the issue of being tied down, having a dog in the house is very nice and if nothing else is not a hassle at all. Your wife, as the instigator of the dog issue, will be completely responsible for taking care of it so I don't see what your problem is. All you have to do is let it come up to you and pet it.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
i think this type of thing requires two yes votes to pass

no

he'll come home one day to a dog he didnt agree to

hey op, youre getting a pet you dont want, and you dont get to name it, hurrah!

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: LoKe
Get a good dog, and you will become so attached to it, it's amazing.

I concur. I was in the same position as the OP once, and my then g/f and I compromised: Her way. We got the dog, and now I love dogs. Go figure.

 

[D1gger]

Originally posted by: chrisms
I cannot relate to your situation too much because you have already have kids, but I will offer some advice.

My girlfriend also wants a dog but I talked her out of it because it is basically like having a kid, you are tied down to it and it prevents you from leaving for any extended period of time without pawning the pet off on somebody else. Dogs live around 14 years and that is a long time to be tied down, especially for us because we have grown fond of travelling.

For you I don't see the same problem as you have already had children and are not in any situation where it seems you will be forced to abandon the dog. Besides the issue of being tied down, having a dog in the house is very nice and if nothing else is not a hassle at all. Your wife, as the instigator of the dog issue, will be completely responsible for taking care of it so I don't see what your problem is. All you have to do is let it come up to you and pet it.

We are nearing the end of being tied to the house since our children are older. I don't want to bind myself to the house yet again with a dog. I want the freedom to go away for the weekend at the drop of a hat, or decide at the last minute to go out for dinner after work, or ....

 

[GuitarDaddy]

No poochie no coochie

 

[chrisms]

Originally posted by: D1gger

Originally posted by: chrisms
I cannot relate to your situation too much because you have already have kids, but I will offer some advice.

My girlfriend also wants a dog but I talked her out of it because it is basically like having a kid, you are tied down to it and it prevents you from leaving for any extended period of time without pawning the pet off on somebody else. Dogs live around 14 years and that is a long time to be tied down, especially for us because we have grown fond of travelling.

For you I don't see the same problem as you have already had children and are not in any situation where it seems you will be forced to abandon the dog. Besides the issue of being tied down, having a dog in the house is very nice and if nothing else is not a hassle at all. Your wife, as the instigator of the dog issue, will be completely responsible for taking care of it so I don't see what your problem is. All you have to do is let it come up to you and pet it.

We are nearing the end of being tied to the house since our children are older. I don't want to bind myself to the house yet again with a dog. I want the freedom to go away for the weekend at the drop of a hat, or decide at the last minute to go out for dinner after work, or ....

That is a good excuse to not get a dog. You can still go out to dinner if you own a dog, and for the weekend, but if you seriously have other ideas in mind then let her know and put your foot down or you will be paying for it for the next 14+ years. With the kids finally gone I can see why you'd want to be free, and maybe as a compromise make her wait a few years just to see if you two actually take advantage of this new freedom. If you end up leaving for months or weeks at a time then don't get the dog, if you stick to basically the same routine then maybe she is right and can go ahead and get one.

 

[NanoStuff]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
No poochie no coochie

That sums it up . You're out of options.

 

[Sureshot324]

Get a cat. They are much lower maintenence.

 

[mu66y]

D1gger,

So, 9 years out, how did things end up?

 

[Ns1]

A+ necro

 

[JBT]

I'd get in touch with an animal shelter and become a foster parent for a dog. This will be a good trial for you and her. You may like the dog, and you can also test her ability to keep her word on taking care of it. If she can't, or you find out you just can't stand it, no longer fostering an animal is a lot easier on the conscience than getting rid of a pet.

 

[Carson Dyle]

D1gger,

So, 9 years out, how did things end up?

From what I've read in other threads, they got the dog, it chewed up everything in sight, and the wife never took care of it, leaving it to him to walk it and feed it every day. The dog got very sick and vet bills cost them over $11,000. Combined with being laid off, they lost their house and his wife divorced him soon after. The dog died anyway. His kids are all grown now and long ago they all moved to Europe. He hasn't seen them in years. He lives alone now in a low income subsidized apartment. He got a hamster to combat the loneliness. Other than that, things are good.

 

[Ns1]

I'd get in touch with an animal shelter and become a foster parent for a dog. This will be a good trial for you and her. You may like the dog, and you can also test her ability to keep her word on taking care of it. If she can't, or you find out you just can't stand it, no longer fostering an animal is a lot easier on the conscience than getting rid of a pet.

A+ reply

 

[Dacalo]

It was the opposite for my wife and I. I wanted a dog a few years ago and the wife was totally against it. She didn't like the idea of a dog running around the house making a mess. Whenever we went to my mom's house, she would be disgusted when my mom's Maltese would lick my face (I love dogs and grew up with them). One day, on a whim, we stopped by a shelter and this miniature poodle jumped on her lap. She fell in love with him and now she loves the dog more than I do (yes even let's the dog lick her face).

 

[clamum]

I wonder if D1gger ever got a dog... LOL. If so, please tell me you didn't let her keep your balls in her hip pocket while she picked out one of those furry ankle biter little dog things, ugh.

I'm partial to cats, but if I had a dog I'd like a German Shepard or something similar.

 

[slightlyhuman]

necro called.

that dog they got is probably dead by now

 

[mrrman]

dont have time for pets and dont want to be tied down to a pet

 

[TwiceOver]

If you ever want to convince someone they don't want a dog, take them to a dog owner's house just as the snow is melting in the Spring.

 

[Linflas]

If you ever want to convince someone they don't want a dog, take them to a dog owner's house just as the snow is melting in the Spring.

We have 4 dogs and you are welcome to check out our backyard when the snow (assuming there is any) melts. We pick up after them in our yard the same as we do when they are on the street. I suspect most responsible dog people do the same.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

necro called.

that dog they got is probably dead by now

So the wife got the dog and OP is happy now. Everybody won.









Except us.

 

[TwiceOver]

We have 4 dogs and you are welcome to check out our backyard when the snow (assuming there is any) melts. We pick up after them in our yard the same as we do when they are on the street. I suspect most responsible dog people do the same.

At best I'm betting 50/50.