<< March 8, 2002
Dear Mrs. Thomlinson and Mr. Sharp,
Hello Mrs. Thomlinson and Mr. Sharp >>
Poor use of professional writing skills.
<< I am writing this letter to address an ongoing issue that may or may not already being looked into. The issue I am about to speak regards to the learning environment in the physics classroom. >>
Extremely poor grammar. I believe you were trying to state something like, "I am writing this letter to address an ongoing issue that may or may have not been looked into. This issue is in regards to the learning environment in the physics classroom."
<< I realize that Mrs. Wallace is a newcomer teacher at our school who tries to continue striving for a fun and creative learning environment for students built up by Mr. Grant. >>
Pick a tense and stick with it.
<< However, I am afraid that she has failed to do so, and she has rather brought frustration and annoyance to the course which many have felt. >>
Again, poor grammar. You also want to avoid personal indictments. "Whatever the reason, frustration and annoyance have become common among many students taking her course."
<< I have found that her teaching style differs from many other teachers that I have experienced with. >>
Poor grammar. "I find that her teaching style differs from the styles of other teachers I have experience with."
<< I often cannot understand the way she presents the materials; she usually does not explain a lot of things and expect students to understand; she seems to make the problem more difficult than it seems. >>
Poor grammar - semicolons are a privilege, not a right.
<< Perhaps I suspect that she needs to develop a better method way to present her material and perhaps her communication skill. >>
Again, poor grammar - "Perhaps I suspect?" Again, you want to avoid personal indictments. This is constructive criticism.
<< I have talked to number of people from O.A.C. physics class as well as people from my own class about how they feel toward the way Mrs. Wallace teaches and presents material. >>
You cannot feel "toward" something. You don't feel to the left. You don't feel to the right. You feel "about", or "in regards to".
<< From their feedbacks, there appears to be same consensus among us. >>
Feedback is singular, not plural. "Some consensus," not same.
<< First, many agreed that it is difficult to comprehend the way she presents the materials. >>
Again, stick to the same tense. "Many agree that it is." In this instance, "material" should be singular.
<< A person I interviewed with said, >>
You don't "interview with" someone. Unless they were interviewing you? You interviewed her.
Man . . . I cannot go on. Maybe you should try taking an English class before you gripe about your Physics class.