Need a clean joke

[FDF12389]

Any suggestions?

I'm not asking you to do my work, just suggest jokes.

Nate & Lever need not apply.

 

[TruePaige]

Nate & Lever could win you awards.

 

[Beev]

How old are you? Usually when I hear of people going back to school they're getting up there in age... Better late than never I suppose.

 

[Mr Pickles]

Take my wife... please.

 

[FDF12389]

Originally posted by: Beev
How old are you? Usually when I hear of people going back to school they're getting up there in age... Better late than never I suppose.

I'm pretty young actually, just looking to diversify the resume with an associates in a different field.

But your right, better late than never.

 

[TruePaige]

Originally posted by: Beev
How old are you? Usually when I hear of people going back to school they're getting up there in age... Better Nate than Lever I suppose.

Fixed.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Are dead baby jokes acceptable?

 

[FDF12389]

Originally posted by: TruePaige
Nate & Lever could win you awards.

I'm graded by my peers, needless to say I think they'd be pretty pissed if I made them sit through that in night school.

 

[Lola]

Why do you need a joke for a speech class?

 

[FDF12389]

Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
Are dead baby jokes acceptable?

Probably not but I'm willing to take any suggestions into consideration.

 

[FDF12389]

Originally posted by: Lola
Why do you need a joke for a speech class?

I have no idea, second week of class, I'm guessing the teacher is using it as an ice breaker. I might find out otherwise if I read the assigned chapters, but that probably won't happen.

 

[So]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

 

[drum]

Originally posted by: Lola
Why do you need a joke for a speech class?

he wants a begining of the speech icebreaker probably

 

[Zaitsevs]

why did the chicken cross the playground?

to get to the other slide.

 

[TruePaige]

Originally posted by: FDF12389

Originally posted by: TruePaige
Nate & Lever could win you awards.

I'm graded by my peers, needless to say I think they'd be pretty pissed if I made them sit through that in night school.

 

[Demon-Xanth]

"Duke Nukem Forever"



Two guys are at a bar at the top of the empire state building and one guy turns to the other and says "You know, if you jump off the wind currents will push you into the 6th floor window and you'll be unhurt.". The second guy says no way, so the first guy jumps off. And sure enough, he goes right into the 6th floor window and comes back up the elevator. The second guy says "that was a fluke, no way you could do that again." So the first guy jumps off again, and amazingly enough, right in the 6th floor window. Seeing this the second guy jumps, and falls right past the 6th floor window and smacks the ground. As the first guy returns, the bartender says "You know Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

 

[drum]

Originally posted by: Demon-Xanth
"Duke Nukem Forever"



snip

this is acceptable

 

[TechBoyJK]

jokes.com ?

 

[newb111]

Originally posted by: drum

Originally posted by: Demon-Xanth
"Duke Nukem Forever"



snip

this is acceptable

That's a sad joke :brokenheart:

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: Demon-Xanth
"Duke Nukem Forever"



Two guys are at a bar at the top of the empire state building and one guy turns to the other and says "You know, if you jump off the wind currents will push you into the 6th floor window and you'll be unhurt.". The second guy says no way, so the first guy jumps off. And sure enough, he goes right into the 6th floor window and comes back up the elevator. The second guy says "that was a fluke, no way you could do that again." So the first guy jumps off again, and amazingly enough, right in the 6th floor window. Seeing this the second guy jumps, and falls right past the 6th floor window and smacks the ground. As the first guy returns, the bartender says "You know Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

You've got to tell it better than that dude.

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Originally posted by: OdiN

Originally posted by: Demon-Xanth
"Duke Nukem Forever"



Two guys are at a bar at the top of the empire state building and one guy turns to the other and says "You know, if you jump off the wind currents will push you into the 6th floor window and you'll be unhurt.". The second guy says no way, so the first guy jumps off. And sure enough, he goes right into the 6th floor window and comes back up the elevator. The second guy says "that was a fluke, no way you could do that again." So the first guy jumps off again, and amazingly enough, right in the 6th floor window. Seeing this the second guy jumps, and falls right past the 6th floor window and smacks the ground. As the first guy returns, the bartender says "You know Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

You've got to tell it better than that dude.

He's the in the speech class. Let him tell it better. I'm the one bored at work after being woken up at 2AM by a fire at a neighboring house that melted the insulation on the overhead phone lines. First time I talked to a 911 operator without being in the same room.

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: Demon-Xanth

Originally posted by: OdiN

Originally posted by: Demon-Xanth
"Duke Nukem Forever"



Two guys are at a bar at the top of the empire state building and one guy turns to the other and says "You know, if you jump off the wind currents will push you into the 6th floor window and you'll be unhurt.". The second guy says no way, so the first guy jumps off. And sure enough, he goes right into the 6th floor window and comes back up the elevator. The second guy says "that was a fluke, no way you could do that again." So the first guy jumps off again, and amazingly enough, right in the 6th floor window. Seeing this the second guy jumps, and falls right past the 6th floor window and smacks the ground. As the first guy returns, the bartender says "You know Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

You've got to tell it better than that dude.

He's the in the speech class. Let him tell it better. I'm the one bored at work after being woken up at 2AM by a fire at a neighboring house that melted the insulation on the overhead phone lines. First time I talked to a 911 operator without being in the same room.

That's a poor excuse for a poorly told joke.

 

[uberman]

I've taught speech and I'm somewhat amazed why you'd need a joke for a speech. People often try humor because they feel nervous about speaking in front of others. Is this a demonstration speech where you'll be displaying and describing something to others. This is an early type of speech used in a speech class to allow speakers to take the spotlight off themselves and hold something so they feel less nervous.

Public speaking is incredible the way it makes people feel nervous. I had seniors practicing for senior exit projects. They had to speak in front of their peers (only 9 students) and they were terrified. I was teaching native Spanish speakers at the time. One student apologized and said he was "embrazada."

I questioned whether he was really "embrazada" and whether that had caused him to mess up his speech. He meant that he had been embarrassed, because "embrazada" means you are pregnant. The teenage boy was not pregnant to the best of our knowledge.

 

[Tobolo]

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100
years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.

It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "he'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along,"

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Why does it need to be clean?