Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
- Wallace Irwin
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
Give a man some fire, and he's warm for the evening. SET a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life...
Masquerading as a normal person, day after day, is exhausting...
If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate.
What doesn't kill you, only delays the inevitable.
Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.
OMG!!! OH NO! AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! NOOOOOO!O!OO!O!!!!
Chances are, if you're reading this, you're ugly.
That last one isn't a quote. I really mean it.