Need advice on woman who wants space

[fekker]

She's in another state, 3000 miles away, only known her for month now but fell into love with her fast.

We have talked about everything under the sun, for the past month, every day.

Day ago she was sure she loved me.
She now is not sure how she's feeling
Now she is feeling confused to the point of feeling nothing

She says she needs time to figure things out, or she will just go away from it all (her words)
till she figures things out she doesn't want me to call (but will call before weekend)
If she needs more time, she will tell me then.(before weekend)

she says she cares about me, but cares about baby's father (who she was with for 5 years)

in 2 weeks i go back accross country, she said she does need and want to see me. but offers no promises as to what will happen.
she says she wants to take things slow, (i want commitment)

baby's dad was ass for 5 years they where together, but now says he's changed since he realized how much she means to him.

What am i to think and do here????.. so far everyone has said to give her the time, which sucks.

 

[Ameesh]

forget the whole thing.

 

[Beau]

Give her time. It sucks, but if you truely love her, then you'd understand and realize that it's worth it.

 

[LOLyourFace]

i hate it when people abuse the word 'love'

Love is only developed through time.

Anything less than that is nothing but mere infatuation. My GF of one year and I still don't say "I love you" to one another. Because we truly value that sentence. We say the sweetest things to one another but we both understand "I love you" is not something we just say to get some cheap emotional satisfaction.

 

[newbiepcuser]

forget the whole thing.

Let her be, if she really "loves" you and you truly "love" her, it will happen. Don't drive yourself crazy. You can't love her unless she loves you back.

Good luck.

 

[wnied]

Need advice on woman who wants space

Find another woman who lives closer and doesnt need any.

~wnied~

 

[Ulfwald]

Dump her along with her baggage.

 

[Deeko]

I wish I could feel bad for you....unfortunetly I've got no answers for you, my problems are similar but worse.

 

[Deeko]

Man 3000 miles, with someone you've only known for a month. I've got this sneaking suspicion that that ain't gonna work. Especially when I know a certain someone that can't make 50 miles with someone he's known for a year work.

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: Deeko
I wish I could feel bad for you....unfortunetly I've got no answers for you, only problems that eclipse yours in every way.

You're both in screwy immature relationships with screwy girls. Now if she took all your money and framed you for killing her mother, then I'd say your problems eclipse his.

As it is? You two are pretty much in the same leaky boat, and you both should be running the other way while you're still young enough to not have responsibilities.

Sure, it sucks, but don't be such a drama queen. Or at least save it for your own thread

 

[shiner]

How much more space can she need if she's 3000 miles away?

I believe The Offspring said it best...

I'm seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind
Well she's got baggage and it's all the emotional kind
She talks about closure and that validation bit
I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that sh1t

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
Yeah

Now I know she'll feel abandoned
If I don't stay over late
And I know she's afraid to commit
But it's only our second date

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
But she takes it all out on me

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

Now she talks about her ex nonstop, but I don't mind
But when she calls out his name in bed
That's where I draw the line
You told me a hundred times how your father left and he's gone
But I wish you wouldn't call me daddy
When we're gettin' it on

Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She's playing the victim
And taking it all out on me
My god she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay

If you think I'm controlling
Then why do you follow me around
If you're not co-dependent
Then why do you let others drag you down

I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

 

[pulse8]

Originally posted by: Ameesh
forget the whole thing.

Exactly. 3000 miles? Only known her for a month? Isn't sure how she feels? It's definitely not worth it for a long distance relationship.

 

[Deeko]

Originally posted by: Jzero

Originally posted by: Deeko
I wish I could feel bad for you....unfortunetly I've got no answers for you, only problems that eclipse yours in every way.

You're both in screwy immature relationships with screwy girls. Now if she took all your money and framed you for killing her mother, then I'd say your problems eclipse his.

As it is? You two are pretty much in the same leaky boat, and you both should be running the other way while you're still young enough to not have responsibilities.

Sure, it sucks, but don't be such a drama queen. Or at least save it for your own thread

Well, my problem DOES eclipse his. Alright alright, I'll reword it to sound less "dramatic". But I'm still right, he shouldn't bother

 

[Lonyo]

GET OUTTA THERE!!!!

If they don't know what they're feeling, then it means it's most likely gonna end, I had a very similar thing happen about 3 weeks ago, get out now, maybe you could still be friends, leave it any longer and that hope might be gone.

 

[slycat]

..blah-blah...love her, set her free...
if she comes back to u..she's yours...
if she doesn't..she never was or will be.

 

[kherman]

Originally posted by: fekker
She's in another state, 3000 miles away, only known her for month now but fell into love with her fast.

We have talked about everything under the sun, for the past month, every day.

Day ago she was sure she loved me.
She now is not sure how she's feeling
Now she is feeling confused to the point of feeling nothing

She says she needs time to figure things out, or she will just go away from it all (her words)
till she figures things out she doesn't want me to call (but will call before weekend)
If she needs more time, she will tell me then.(before weekend)

she says she cares about me, but cares about baby's father (who she was with for 5 years)

in 2 weeks i go back accross country, she said she does need and want to see me. but offers no promises as to what will happen.
she says she wants to take things slow, (i want commitment)

baby's dad was ass for 5 years they where together, but now says he's changed since he realized how much she means to him.

What am i to think and do here????.. so far everyone has said to give her the time, which sucks.

On behalf of all ATOTers I feal it is my duty to ask:

Are you a woman (based on your face icon thingy)?

If so, do you have pics of you and this girl you mention...embraced in erotic poses?

Thanks In Advance!

 

[fekker]

Are you a woman (based on your face icon thingy)?

Nope I'm a Hippie. (male)

 

[AreaCode707]

You sit and wait, if you think that she's worth waiting for, until she gets a grip on where things are going and how she feels. I mean, she asked you directly for that, what advice do you need?

 

[Ernieb]

Originally posted by: HotChic
You sit and wait, if you think that she's worth waiting for, until she gets a grip on where things are going and how she feels. I mean, she asked you directly for that, what advice do you need?

yes right..agree! just wait for her call and don't try to call her before the weekend comes
just follow the instruction and see...............what's gonna happen next........
I think this is a bit exciting .. it's fun waiting

 

[ragazzo]

Not a girl, but here's my two cents:

Long distance relationships rarely work out, so just let her have her space while you look for someone local. She wants her distance possibly for the following reasons:

1. She met a guy closer to her.
2. The distance is too much for her to handle
3. 1 + 2
4. She just needs time to sort things out.

Good luck.

 

[deerslayer]

run...run as fast as you can

 

[StageLeft]

You're on a crash course. Ditch her now. Girls don't get "confused". It's a screw-you line that they like to pull from time to time. She's not confused; she's is sick of the thing. Any more time you waste on this is time you could be putting into something productive - this relationship is not productive.

 

[Shelly21]

Originally posted by: Ameesh
forget the whole thing.

I'll have to take this one....

It is very likely that she got back with her ex. So she's trying to let you down easily.

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
You're on a crash course. Ditch her now. Girls don't get "confused". It's a screw-you line that they like to pull from time to time. She's not confused; she's is sick of the thing. Any more time you waste on this is time you could be putting into something productive - this relationship is not productive.

I was thinking more along the lines of "She has another prospect and she wants to string you along in case it doesn't work out."

 

[DeafeningSilence]

Nah, forget the nay-sayers around here. Go for it!

... unless, like most guys, you can't deal with drama. Because if it's already piled heavy and deep after one month, there's no way it's gonna end!!! In which case, I would seriously recommend dropping the whole situation now, before you get more involved/hurt.