Need career/life choice advice

[Alphathree33]

Cole's notes:

- Have a thriving technology career that would likely take me to the senior executive level by my 30s.

- Mildly like it on good days. Hate it on bad days. Pays well.

- Would much prefer to go to Asia, teach English, learn Mandarin, and dance (I'm really into something called West Coast Swing, and have been dancing since University) and basically build a new and completely different life.

- No commitments/attachments: 28, not married, no debt, no kids

- Having trouble making the call to actually do it... giving up my friends, my career, (most of) my whole identity thus far

- Yet deep down, I know that's what I have to do to actually live life

Can anyone chime in who's had to make similar choices?

 

[Zeze]

When I get laid off 2 years ago and broke up with my ex who was devastated, I've went on a 63-day road trip. I drove a total of 12,000 miles from Boston to Philly, DC, Miami, Key West, back to Atlanta, through Texas, down in Tombstone, AZ, Grand Canyon/Bryce Canyon/Zion NP, Vegas, LA -> San Fran -> Reno, Mount Rushmore, Chicago, New York, and home.

Follow your heart.

 

[brianmanahan]

When I get laid off 2 years ago and broke up with my ex who was devastated, I've went on a 63-day road trip. I drove a total of 12,000 miles from Boston to Philly, DC, Miami, Key West, back to Atlanta, through Texas, down in Tombstone, AZ, Grand Canyon/Bryce Canyon/Zion NP, Vegas, LA -> San Fran -> Reno, Mount Rushmore, Chicago, New York, and home.

Follow your heart.

dude that sounds so awesome (except for the layoff/breakup part)

i keep looking for an excuse to do something like that, but no dice. hoping to find a place that allows sabbaticals someday, or gives more than 2 weeks of vaca.

 

[vi edit]

Good friend of my wife's was a pharmacist making well over 100k a year and married to a doctor (of medicine) making probably 3x what he did. They paid off all student loans they had, sold off almost every possession they had and moved to Uganda doing volunteer medical aid. They know that almost know one would understand their decision but they are very happy with it. They are actually putting their skills to use to people that legitimitely need it and without mountains of political bullshit. They wouldn't do it any different.

If it's something you feel like you need to do, nobody but yourself can convince you otherwise.

 

[brianmanahan]

Cole's notes:

- Have a thriving technology career that would likely take me to the senior executive level by my 30s.

- Mildly like it on good days. Hate it on bad days. Pays well.

- Would much prefer to go to Asia, teach English, learn Mandarin, and dance (I'm really into something called West Coast Swing, and have been dancing since University) and basically build a new and completely different life.

- No commitments/attachments: 28, not married, no debt, no kids

- Having trouble making the call to actually do it... giving up my friends, my career, (most of) my whole identity thus far

- Yet deep down, I know that's what I have to do to actually live life

Can anyone chime in who's had to make similar choices?

one option is save a ridiculous amount of your money (order of %80/%90) and then retire when you get to a point where taking %4 each year from your invested savings will support you.

 

[Alphathree33]

one option is save a ridiculous amount of your money (order of %80/%90) and then retire when you get to a point where taking %4 each year from your invested savings will support you.

I've considered that. Also note that since I'd be working (teaching, maybe trying to build a business out east) I would have an income... so I need less savings than you might imagine.

The problem is that I've been using savings as an excuse. "Oh, well maybe if I can make my first million, then I'll go..."

 

[Zeze]

Just go. You're still young, but not that young. It's now or never.

The world is becoming smaller and smaller. Many people travel internationally for work and friends visit each other across the globe.

Your friends are not lost. You'll only gain more in China.

Now, stop being a pussy and do it already. You know you needed to hear this.

 

[tm37]

Ask this question.

If you were to win the lottery would you go to work the next day?

For me I would would. I would try and make some changes to the work /; family mix but for me I really enjoy what I do (even on the bad days)

If you would not show up the next day I would look at what you want. I live by a general rule when dealing with young people.

You can not do anything other than kill someone or bring a life into this world prior to 30 that you will not be able to recover from.

Look into what your options are and make the jump!

 

[Ricemarine]

I met a guy during a CL transaction that I was in a similar situation. He graduated from one of the best universities in Moscow in CS, and decided to just move. He then moved to the US, works at MS, has a great family, and has been living happily ever after. I asked him for advice, and all he told me is "just do it."

For me, to make such a move to Asia would require a lot of time to understand the culture properly, and to make sure I won't end up poor. I would really emphasize understanding the culture though before making a big leap. AFAIK, teaching English (at least in Japan) is restricted towards Americans, but the pay isn't that great. I think there was a member doing that right now, but I forget his name.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Ask this question.

If you were to win the lottery would you go to work the next day?

For me, the answer is NO. Or, more precisely, I'd go the next day and give notice.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Yes, thirty odd years ago, I made the choice to be a Chef, knowing I would never be rich. In retrospect, I'd probably do it differently not, because I regret following my dreams but, because the industry took a serious downturn and a comfortable living became scraping by.

I believe in living every moment and hate the trend towards doing ANYTHING to make the big bucks so people can start living after they retire. WTH kind of life is that?

 

[Engineer]

Ask this question.

If you were to win the lottery would you go to work the next day?

Not a chance in hell. Doesn't mean that I don't like my job as I actually do for the most part. Just means that I would have "other interests" that have a much higher priority.

 

[brianmanahan]

id probably go to work for another 6 months. just to be safe.

 

[CRXican]

white people problems

wish I had such a terrible dilemma

bastard

 

[vi edit]

For me, the answer is NO. Or, more precisely, I'd go the next day and give notice.

I wouldn't quit the next day, I'd at least wait for the check to get mailed and clear and then put in my two weeks notice.

After that I'd get everything paid off and take a nice long vacation with my family sparing really no expense and not cheaping out. Then I'd come back home and continue living a fairly "normal" life and maybe try to get into some trade schools and then spend the rest of my life doing volunteer habitat for humanity houses and helping out around the community with things. Wouldn't have the money to be a true philanthropist, but at least I can play the part.

 

[SandEagle]

"do what you like, the money will follow."

no wife, no kids, no debt, 28 yrs old? made, you got it.

 

[ponyo]

Powerball is up to $245 million. Just saying...

 

[MiniDoom]

white people problems

wish I had such a terrible dilemma

bastard

you're doing it wrong

 

[OlafSicky]

Stay where you are it could be worse this whole “follow your heart” is bullshit. Just think of all the people that don't have jobs and you have one. Just think what if you don't make it in Asia. From what I know Asians are not very friendly to minorities. I wouldn't do it, if you have an urge to go somewhere go on a 2 week vacation and come back.
I know plenty of stories where it didn't work out. I had a guy apply for a job recently who was teaching in china for 15 or 20 years married a Chinese women had kids etc. Wife left him kids hate him and he came back looking for a job at around 50 years of age. Like any responsible employer I showed him the door.

 

[halik]

Don't you have the be bilingual to teach anything?

 

[CRXican]

you're doing it wrong

big time

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Stay where you are it could be worse this whole “follow your heart” is bullshit. Just think of all the people that don't have jobs and you have one. Just think what if you don't make it in Asia. From what I know Asians are not very friendly to minorities. I wouldn't do it, if you have an urge to go somewhere go on a 2 week vacation and come back.
I know plenty of stories where it didn't work out. I had a guy apply for a job recently who was teaching in china for 15 or 20 years married a Chinese women had kids etc. Wife left him kids hate him and he came back looking for a job at around 50 years of age. Like any responsible employer I showed him the door.

How's it feel to be a corporate poster child?

 

[Farang]

If you know you can get a job when you get back, the reasoning here is purely financial (I will make $x less for the next 12 months). Depending on your career, you might be able to pick up exactly where you left off if you take a year or so off. If this is the case, definitely go live your life.

That said hiatuses can really kill your career. I've seen $150k/yr guys go unemployed for a year, then take jobs at $43/hr. Resumes are a lot of "what have you done for me lately?" I think it depends on your specific job, the example I'm referring to is a senior PM. I've seen it worse with more technical, engineer types. But I've also seen senior engineer types take 6 years off and get right back into it--because of their connections.

So it is a risk. But if money isn't a motivator and you know you'll be able to come back to a reasonably comfortable life (I mean in the $43/hr guy's case really--is it the end of the world?), why not?

 

[Sho'Nuff]

My whole life I have done what I "had" to do because I literally don't know what I "want" to do. While there are things in my life I would never give up (wife, kid), I would love to have some inclination as to what it is I am meant to do professionally.

You don't have that problem. You know what you "want" to do. The question that you need to ask yourself is "why am I (are you) not doing what I (you) want to do?"

There are good reasons and bad reasons to not do something. Money often isn't a good reason, particularly for a young single professional such as yourself. I know lots of people that are poorer than I am (in some instances a lot poorer), but who are ultimately happier because they have found some level of personal satisfaction in their day to day life/career. I also know a hell of lot of rich people who are miserable because, like me, they spend their life toiling away at a job they don't care about so that they can buy things that ultimately do not bring any satisfaction.

In sum, don't be like me. Don't let yourself get to the point where you are doing something because you feel like you "have" to, and not because you "want to." You only live once, so spend your time doing things you like. Money and "things" are not nearly as valuable as experiences. Take it from a guy who is in his mid thirties and has reached the mid-level executive level that you think you might achieve as well.

Now, if only I could follow my own advice. . . . . But when you have a family that is depending on you, it is hard to make drastic decisions.

One last bit of advice. If you are young, single and successful, your inclination will be to buy a lot of "stuff" that reflects your young, single, and successful status. While you are certainly entitlted to go down this route, I caution you to avoid it. If you don't, you may find yourself locked into a path that I like to call the "golden handcuffs." I.e., you will get used to having a certain amount of purchasing power, and therefore will artificially self limit your perception of potential career avenues based on maintaining that purchasing power. If there is one thing I have learned, real freedom comes from not owing anything to anyone, and having a source of income seperate from your job. So, take some time to figure out how much money you need to pay your expenses. Once you figure that number, add 10% for fun money, and use the rest to invest and pay down any existing debt. When you get a raise, only add 10% of it to your budget and save/invest the rest. If you do that, you might be able to retire in 15 years (at the young age of 43) and do whatever you want for the rest of your life . . . literally.

Good luck.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

That said hiatuses can really kill your career. I've seen $150k/yr guys go unemployed for a year, then take jobs at $43/hr. . . .

So it is a risk. But if money isn't a motivator and you know you'll be able to come back to a reasonably comfortable life (I mean in the $43/hr guy's case really--is it the end of the world?), why not?

While it is not what it used to be, $89000/year is nothing to sneeze at. Particularly if beneftis are included in the compensation package.