Need Some Advice....

[Softballslug]

Dating back for at least 2 years, my nephew had been doing about everything he could to get kicked out of school. Such as:

Missing / Skipping School
Tobacco Use
Drug Use
Bad Grades

You name it...

Back in December of 2011, we talked with him and the problems he was creating for himself and told him that if things didn't change, he was going to come and live with my wife and I.

Well, long story, things didn't change and in January of 2012, he was removed from his old house and came to live with us. His mother (there is no dad) was in agreement with the decision.

Fast forward to now. He is getting decent grades (about a 3.0, with both A's and a few C's). Is actually eligible to play High School Athletics and has actually thrown a no-hitter in baseball this year. His attitude is nothing short of wonderful. You can ask him to do something and he does it. He is even starting to "do" things (the right things) on his own. He is currently a Junior in High School and will be with us until he graduates.

However, (there is always one of those...) now the question. I recently caught him chewing. It is against the rules, etc.. blah blah..

What do I do now? Do I dare "drop the bomb" and risk him rebelling in some other way (again, we have had not one single issue as of yet) other than the chewing tobacco. Or do I talk with him (we had a long discussion) and see if he quits on his own. I think he is probably still chewing, but you get the idea..

Basically, its "Good Grades and Good Attitude" vs. "Chewing".....

Help!

 

[sixone]

You sit down with him and talk to him like an adult. Tell him how proud you are of what he's accomplished (hopefully doing that already), and how disappointed you are that he's picked such a disgusting thing to do. Show him the pics online of people who have had to have their jaws removed because they had mouth cancer.

And if he's under-age, remind him that it's illegal, and that anyone caught buying it for him is going to jail.

Make it clear that he has your support when he makes good choices, but not when he doesn't.

 

[Softballslug]

You sit down with him and talk to him like an adult. Tell him how proud you are of what he's accomplished (hopefully doing that already), and how disappointed you are that he's picked such a disgusting thing to do. Show him the pics online of people who have had to have their jaws removed because they had mouth cancer.

And if he's under-age, remind him that it's illegal, and that anyone caught buying it for him is going to jail.

Make it clear that he has your support when he makes good choices, but not when he doesn't.

We try and praise him every day, because I will be the first to tell anyone, I am damn proud of what he is doing. I like the picture idea.

Also, I did forget to include since he was held back in 5th grade, and is currently a Junior in High School, he did turn 18 in the middle of March.

 

[sixone]

We try and praise him every day, because I will be the first to tell anyone, I am damn proud of what he is doing. I like the picture idea.

Also, I did forget to include since he was held back in 5th grade, and is currently a Junior in High School, he did turn 18 in the middle of March.

Then tell him how disappointed you are, how scared for his health you are. If you don't want it in your house, he should respect your rules, non-negotiable.

But beyond that, it is his choice. He's old enough to choose what consequences he's willing to risk.

You sound like a great father-figure. He's lucky to have you in his life.

 

[eldorado99]

You sit down with him and talk to him like an adult. Tell him how proud you are of what he's accomplished (hopefully doing that already), and how disappointed you are that he's picked such a disgusting thing to do. Show him the pics online of people who have had to have their jaws removed because they had mouth cancer.

And if he's under-age, remind him that it's illegal, and that anyone caught buying it for him is going to jail.

Make it clear that he has your support when he makes good choices, but not when he doesn't.

Yup, this sounds right to me.

 

[olds]

Did I stumble into L&R?

 

[lxskllr]

Then tell him how disappointed you are, how scared for his health you are. If you don't want it in your house, he should respect your rules, non-negotiable.

But beyond that, it is his choice. He's old enough to choose what consequences he's willing to risk.

You sound like a great father-figure. He's lucky to have you in his life.

There's little to no correlation between chewing tobacco, and oral cancer. Scare mongering, and telling lies will cause him to lose all respect for you if/when he finds out the truth.

 

[sixone]

There's little to no correlation between chewing tobacco, and oral cancer. Scare mongering, and telling lies will cause him to lose all respect for you if/when he finds out the truth.

Link

Users of dip, snuff, or chewing tobacco products are 50 times more likely to develop cancers of the cheek, gums, and lining of the lips.

 

[lxskllr]

Link

That's not science. A peer reviewed study from a respected institution will do though. Make sure the study you pick focuses on US, and European tobacco types, as Asian, and middle eastern blends are known to be hazardous due to additives, and processing.

 

[SandEagle]

 

[FoBoT]

just make it clear it is not allowed in your house

 

[sixone]

That's not science. A peer reviewed study from a respected institution will do though. Make sure the study you pick focuses on US, and European tobacco types, as Asian, and middle eastern blends are known to be hazardous due to additives, and processing.

I spy a marked lack of evidence in your own post. I assume you have good reason not to post a study you like.

 

[lxskllr]

I spy a marked lack of evidence in your own post. I assume you have good reason not to post a study you like.

This should get you started. This is an analysis of many studies, and you can find the relative risks listed in table 3. Later dates will carry more weight than earlier ones largely due to improvements in tobacco processing. I've looked at all this stuff before, and don't find medical research especially interesting, so if this isn't good enough, you're welcome to post something from a reputable source. If you come up with something different, I will read that with interest.

http://www.biomedcentral.com/1741-7015/7/36

Edit:
Any figures for "snuff" should be treated with skepticism until the actual study, and it's methods are read. American moist snuff, especially from recent years(late 70s and newer) has reduced many of the hazardous components due to better processing. Dry snuff which turns up some older studies has especially high TSNA amounts. Not many use dry snuff orally anymore. That was predominantly used by southern women, and it's fairly out of fashion, but some studies lump it together with moist snuff, and the distinction needs to be made... Unless of course you're dipping dry snuff, but I can't endorse that practice :^D

 

[sixone]

This should get you started. This is an analysis of many studies, and you can find the relative risks listed in table 3. Later dates will carry more weight than earlier ones largely due to improvements in tobacco processing. I've looked at all this stuff before, and don't find medical research especially interesting, so if this isn't good enough, you're welcome to post something from a reputable source. If you come up with something different, I will read that with interest.

http://www.biomedcentral.com/1741-7015/7/36

Edit:
Any figures for "snuff" should be treated with skepticism until the actual study, and it's methods are read. American moist snuff, especially from recent years(late 70s and newer) has reduced many of the hazardous components due to better processing. Dry snuff which turns up some older studies has especially high TSNA amounts. Not many use dry snuff orally anymore. That was predominantly used by southern women, and it's fairly out of fashion, but some studies lump it together with moist snuff, and the distinction needs to be made... Unless of course you're dipping dry snuff, but I can't endorse that practice :^D

From your link:

There are a number of difficulties in interpreting the results of these meta-analyses. The studies are of varying design, size and quality. Many of the individual study reports have limitations and present less information than is ideal for a meta-analysis. Shortcomings include small numbers of cases, and in particular of cases exposed to ST, lack of histological confirmation, lack of division by cancer site, as well as an unclear description of inclusion and exclusion criteria, details of case and control selection, and methods of exposure assessment. Furthermore, details such as the type of ST used, and duration and frequency of use, are often not considered.

That's what you call "science"? Mmmkay...

 

[lxskllr]

From your link:



That's what you call "science"? Mmmkay...

Yea, I do. They did the best they could with the information provided. Sources are listed, and methodology provided. That's science. It beats pulling shit out of your ass like the scare sites, and anti tobacco zealots do.

 

[sixone]

Yea, I do. They did the best they could with the information provided. Sources are listed, and methodology provided. That's science. It beats pulling shit out of your ass like the scare sites, and anti tobacco zealots do.

I'll give them big points for pointing out how flawed their analysis is. It speaks for itself.

 

[jagec]

I'll give them big points for pointing out how flawed their analysis is. It speaks for itself.

Wow...no wonder our political system is so shitty. Americans would rather believe biased rhetoric than a balanced analysis.

Please tell me you don't vote.

 

[lxskllr]

I'll give them big points for pointing out how flawed their analysis is. It speaks for itself.

It speaks as responsible research. It's better than that crap link you provided. No sources, no methodology, no nothing. It has zero value.

 

[sixone]

Wow...no wonder our political system is so shitty. Americans would rather believe biased rhetoric than a balanced analysis.

That's a great way to summarize my take on the study. They went to a great deal of trouble to control for smoking and for alcohol, but just couldn't be bothered to control for incomplete information.

 

[lxskllr]

That's a great way to summarize my take on the study. They went to a great deal of trouble to control for smoking and for alcohol, but just couldn't be bothered to control for incomplete information.

So you're saying they should have fabricated data? Now we're doing science! :^D

 

[jagec]

That's a great way to summarize my take on the study. They went to a great deal of trouble to control for smoking and for alcohol, but just couldn't be bothered to control for incomplete information.

You would propose that they generate data out of thin air? I think that the science community would rather leave THAT little exercise to the lobbyists, thank you very much.

Researchers can't go back in time and add tests to other peoples' studies to make them more appropriate for their own analysis, but those studies still provide valuable information which it would be foolish to ignore. Proper statistics can alleviate most of the concerns with using data derived from multiple sources. Do you have a problem with their statistical methods? Or did you just scroll down until you found a section that you could use to argue against a study that you didn't want to believe?

 

[shortylickens]

You guys are much more tolerant and practical than me. I am of the opinion teeny's should be allowed to fuck up their own lives so they can learn.