need some parenting advice

[JulesMaximus]

That's a tough one. My wife was adopted but I'm not sure how old she was when she found out. She loves her Mom and Dad very much though and has never expressed much interest in finding her birth parents.

I guess I would just sit her down and explain to her that her Mom gave birth to her before you met her Mom but that because you love her Mom and her so much you decided to adopt her to legally become her Father. I would stress the love part a lot and that this doesn't change anything about your relationship with her as her Father. Just that you thought she was old enough to know this since she will be starting school and people will probably ask why her Father doesn't look much like her.

Good luck!

 

Originally posted by: sygyzy
You married a lady with a daughter. You did not "adopt" the daughter.

I did both

I adopted her, making ME her legal father.
She is not my stepdaughter, she is my daughter.

 

[EatSpam]

Originally posted by: sygyzy
You married a lady with a daughter. You did not "adopt" the daughter.

He could have legally adopted the daughter...you don't know that.

 

[Saint Nick]

Originally posted by: habib89

Originally posted by: jndietz

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Say, "most daddies don't get to choose their children, they are born to them. But you were so special I chose to have you as my daughter".

lol thats adorable.

*turns in man card*

tell her that or the truth, let us know how it goes...

i'm pretty sure we had our man cards revoked when we admited we like sappy love stories in humblepie's thread... ah well, who needs one of those anyway...

and i like what oldsmoboat says.. obviously you cant' just say that, but that's definately something to throw in there.. and try to make it just about her.. tell her that she's special, and that she is your daughter, no matter what other people say

edit: i will also be in this situation eventually.. it probably won't be as hard for me, because my son's dad is still in the picture.. but his mom and i are getting married soon, and for all intents and purposes, i'll be his "everyday" dad..

i love humblepie's story, its so romantic :heart: i wonder how hard it is to really deal with somethin like this. i might know someday.

edit: this meaning adoption.

 

Originally posted by: dxkj
Does she understand the birds and the bees? Does she understand that two people have to copulate in order to produce a child?

If not, then telling her you aren't her father might not work too well, because it wont make sense.... You ARE her father, but not her biological father, explaining that will take an understanding on her part on what the difference is..

This turned out to be the truth.

We first talked about what a daddy really is. Then we talked about divorce and about some of her friends don't have a daddy or have 2 daddies.

But when I told her that mommy and me didn't 'make' her - thats when the she got confused.

When is was all said and done, I made sure she understood...she sat on my lap and asked if we could turn Full House back on.

 

[Taggart]

in 10 years hit it Woody Allen style

 

[elektrolokomotive]

Geez! This is the most touchy feely thread I've ever seen here!

All of ya, I'm collecting your man cards at the door.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

The pick your daughter quote would have been the path i'd take...

 

[ViperSSD]

Tell her you're an albino filipino

 

[CChaos]

Originally posted by: elektrolokomotive
Geez! This is the most touchy feely thread I've ever seen here!

All of ya, I'm collecting your man cards at the door.

What's more manly than fatherhood?

 

[newParadigm]

Originally posted by: CChaos

Originally posted by: elektrolokomotive
Geez! This is the most touchy feely thread I've ever seen here!

All of ya, I'm collecting your man cards at the door.

What's more manly than fatherhood?

FTW

 

[FoBoT]

she knows you are her dad, it will be fine, just tell her

 

[zmaster]

Originally posted by: ViperSSD
Tell her you're an albino filipino

That actually made me laugh out loud.

Still the truth with plenty of love word revolving is always a safe card.