No longer buying flagship trash cans...

[disappoint]

I paid hundreds of dollars for this trash can and it's just not working out.

I mean sure it's fine as a can to throw stuff away but I spent hundreds! It should do more. For that price I expected it to trash talk at me in a sweet mammalian voice. But no. It....just....sits...there. With its smug oval lid smile and its little impatient looking foot pedal. It's practically tapping its foot pedal at me as if to say "Well? Are ya going to throw anything away or just stare at me?" But it doesn't utter a word.

Won't someone invent a trash can that trash talks? Is it that hard? I mean we have cheapo microcontrollers that could handle the task FFS.

You lazy ass hardware engineers need to get off your hineys and invent this shit so us software engineers can get to work coding it after condescendingly telling you how we could have done better than you at your own job which you have way more experience points in.

I'm so mad right now I could kick this can down the road like politicians do about most of the problems facing America.

//rant mode off code goes here

 

[sandorski]

Cut a 2" hole in the side, fill the bottom 1/4 of the can with apples, let it sit in the hot sun for a few weeks, then put your erect penis in the hole, let the bees do the rest. Now it gives BJs.

 

[maddogchen]

So.....you want the Mac Pro to have Siri?

 

[Imp]

Order paper towels online, get "free" box, don't destroy box, use box for trash until it falls apart, order more paper towels, profit.

 

[disappoint]

Cut a 2" hole in the side, fill the bottom 1/4 of the can with apples, let it sit in the hot sun for a few weeks, then put your erect penis in the hole, let the bees do the rest. Now it gives BJs.

Throw in a green Android "droid" costume on it along with some advanced AI that will pass the Turing test and we might have a deal. The only Turing test your can passes is of the knob gobbling variety and that's just not going to satisfy me.

R2D2 cosplay is unacceptable though. The bot only beeps at you. Who in their right mind thought future bots would be linguistically imbecilic?

Halloween is coming up so the trash can needs some costume to dress up as. But the AI program is mandatory.

 

[disappoint]

Order paper towels online, get "free" box, don't destroy box, use box for trash until it falls apart, order more paper towels, profit.

I'm afraid not. You see my self worth is directly related to the monetary value of the items I buy. Someone once offered to let me borrow their pen. I scoffed and denounced their offer with a curt: "Bah, cheap pen!"

Although if I pay extra for expedited shipping...

nah its still a box
A box with no bling
is an awful thing
I can't feel self worth
If I can't emulate a king

 

[sdifox]

Why do you need a flagship trashcan when last Gen works just as well.

 

[allisolm]

:thumbsup: for double parody.

 

[Crono]

:thumbsup: for double parody.

 

[sdifox]

I buy trashcan from dollar store

 

[brianmanahan]

tbh, the 1$k sweeper is more ridiculous than the 80$ trash can

 

[lxskllr]

I buy trashcan from dollar store

I found my trashcan in a bigger trashcan :^P

 

[sdifox]

I found my trashcan in a bigger trashcan :^P

Ew

 

[disappoint]

:thumbsup: for double parody.

Wow a thumbs up from above! That I did not expect. A truly heartfelt thank you for your approval. I feel blessed. My self worth restored thanks to the validation of my peers.

This feels strange. Usually my self worth comes from within due to my peers being in a crabby state of mind. Maybe we are all getting a little better over time. Let's hope so.:awe:

 

[brianmanahan]

This feels strange. Usually my self worth comes from within due to my peers being in a crabby state of mind.

if your self-worth comes from ATOT, i feel bad for you son

 

[CZroe]

10/10

 

[disappoint]

if your self-worth comes from ATOT, i feel bad for you son

When I said "within" I meant within myself.

 

[angminas]

it's

 

[disappoint]

Oops I fixed the it's error. Thanks. Can't believe I missed that.

Man I make that mistake a lot. Mental note: Its=possessive, it's = it is.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

https://youtu.be/i7gIpuIVE3k

 

[SSSnail]

What? Next you're gonna tell me that flagship vacuums are waste of money as well?

 

[Ken g6]

For hundreds of dollars, you're right, a trash can should do more than just sit there.

 

[preCRT]

Cut a 2" hole in the side, fill the bottom 1/4 of the can with apples, let it sit in the hot sun for a few weeks, then put your erect penis in the hole, let the bees do the rest. Now it gives BJs.

You just nearly caused my death. I'm fighting off the end of some nasty flu-type virus [thought it was too early to get my shot yet], with upper respiratory symptoms, asthma, severe body aches, fever, & extreme pain that racks my bones from lower ribs through my neck when I cough or laugh. You had me in near convulsions unable to breathe 'cuz I was laughing so hard.

 

[BurnItDwn]

a flagship garbage can is a dumpster, and can hold so much garbage, that you only need to bring it to the street once per year!

 

[blankslate]

The smoothness of the hinge motion from the pedal to the cover when it opens is sooo worth it. Lesser trashcans are sooo janky by comparison. You obviously don't know the value of using your highend trashcan as a status/cult symbol either.

Plebe doesn't know the value of iTrash


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