Originally posted by: werk
OMG, Mustang fell for the most obvious one yet! :Q
Originally posted by: kermalou
just wanted to get in on the parade, kwad have you forgotten about the special 5 1/4 drives that these bad boys use?
Originally posted by: mrtorrent
Oh, you'll all like this one. He's now holding "pre-launch" sales! C'mon, let's all get in on the action! http://www.cwstatus.com/July11newsletter.htm. Er, actually, how about he processes our refunds first and THEN we get in on the action? Hm..
Oh yes, I almost forgot: he's giving out 3-6 months free service to customers. So, basically, if you paid him $10 for a month of reseller hosting before, your $10 is now worth an additional 6 months. Lessee, that's about $1.40 per month (including the first month you paid) for 1gb of disk space and 25gb of transfer, which means you're paying approximately 5 cents per gb of traffic. Now where else can you get a deal like that? Clearly, Cyberwings is THE choice for web hosting, with prices of not 10, not 20, but over 90% cheaper than competitors! I can feel the quality in the air tonight...
Originally posted by: RSG2
Now you guys know that the onlly true drives that could be used are 8 inchers (I've already got a couple of disks for these, maybe they can mount them for me instead of me having to FTP). For redundant storage they shoud get some of theose 9-10" tape reel drives - they can really hold some info on those...)
New company to oNew company to open data center at offer $0.06/mo dedicated server deals!
Are you tried of high priced dedicated server solutions of upwards of $99.00 a month for a dedicated server with a measly 400 gig's a month bandwidth and no support?
Let's get right to the point! I'm partnering up with some local people and we managed to put together a state of the art data center and blazing fast network!
Are you tired of having your Windows and Unix or Mac servers crash and burn? Why not try our dedicated deals on our brand new, second hand circa 1979 Atari (tm) 400 systems?!
Our super dooper, blazing fast Atari Network is one of the most advanced in the country, offering custom backups on our 410 Data Cassette Drives and we even offer Data recovery on your hard drives!.
Of course, Atari's have another advantage! The 400 model doesn't even offer hard drives, so you can feel safe that your data is secure and redundant with our Backup solutions!.
Even the keyboard is so advanced that it's tactile membrane prevents damage from food and small objects that are commonly falling out of the mouths of our on-site (mother's basement) staff members!
We have redundant power sources with our high tech Tube racks!. No more breakers and UPS, we have enough vacuum tubes to last us to next month!
All servers come with the very fast Atari CPU model 6502 -- that's 1.8 mhz people!
A healthy 8K of RAM and using the CTIA chip technology!
We offer many OS choices; Basic.
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Proud member of http://www.myatari.net and avid reader of Antic and other's: http://www.atarimagazines.com.
Put in your order today at Atari-Colocation.com
* Proud sponsor of the 2002 TimPD "Special Hosting Team"
We can Offer you something better than that deal!!
Are you tired of high priced dedicated server solutions of upwards of $.06 a month for a dedicated Atari with a measly 8k of ram?
Then why not spend that extra $.04 cents per month and get a Quality Commodore 64 for a low cost of $.10 per month!
Let's get right to the point! I also partnered up with some local people and we managed to put together a BIGGER state of the art data center and MUCH FASTER blazing network!
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Of course, Commodore's have another advantage! We do offer hard drives, so you can feel safe that your data is secure and redundant. Each Commodore 64 server comes with a CMD HD-20
20Mb hard-drive
Don't settle with a 8K Atari when you can get a 64K RAM Commodore!
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Proud member of http://www.c64.org/ and http://www.old-computers.com
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Hi,
Sorry everyone. I'll get to your order as fast as possible. I have at least 3 emails in my inbox and it's difficult to sort through all of them. I'd have sooner, but well, I was arrested again for credit card fraud and things have been a little hectic around here with the FBI coming and taking all the drives for inspection. I promise to get to everything by next month and let you know what's going on, we just need to reorganize the team a little -- and late one night we're going to have to move to another data center unexpectedly (unfortunately we will not be able to give any notice [it can happen any time in the next year]).
Also things have been a little slow as my hand still hurts after I put the ol' woman in line the other night. That was the first arrest and had nothing to do the the more recent arrest for CC fraud. I'm just being honest here guys, as I think that's the best way to do business. On a positive note, we're trying to find out where we can get some of those Gibson super computers that we saw in the movie "Hackers" and we (me, myself and I) will update you soon. Also, my mother says I might be able to move the computers out of the basement and into my brother's old room as soon as he's sent back to juvenile hall. So things are really looking up! Thanks for your patience and understanding.
===============
You've heard about "unlimited storage". You've even heard about "unlimited bandwidth". Now you too can get 'unlimited downtime' at *No Extra Charge!* That's right - we'll host your site on a Commodore Vic-20 that's not even plugged into the wall - or for a few dollars more we'll host it on dual C64s using 300 Baud VicModems! No limits on downtime whatsoever!
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================
Sorry, got carried away...
That's right. After 7 years of doing system administration, programming, support, installs, security, etc., I've decided to invest some money I found under some couch cushions to start up a web hosting business, where I can cater to the really cool people.
What do you get? You get me! You get my support and my experience! I well set up the server, a secure server and a web host that can and will cater to your needs with custom configurations, hosting solutions to best suit your needs and much more!
What else do you get? Confidence in knowing you're in the right hands. Someone that has control and knowledge to pull this off and do it right. What's better? Nothing. Nothing can be better! I guarantee you won't get these features with any other hosting provider!
What are the hardware specs? Seriously, you don't need to ask, do you? Of course, it will consist of the highest quality tin cans, strung together by Timathonic Vinyl(tm) string. Who needs those large SCSI hard drives, when we can cut costs and pass them onto the clients, by using those old cassette recording/playing devices that used to come with TSR80's and Atari 400's with those weird microwave type buttons! You can't get better than this, and no one else can provide this service to be able to pass the savings along to the clients!
The plan consists of the following:
0 MB bandwidth PER DAY! Not by the month! How can we do this? Simple: You can't move bandwidth across vinyl string? Why? Because we don't need to move bandwidth! Our cutting edge technology allows us to transparently transfer sound saves captured in one tin can, to the other, via a string! This is virtually NO COST to us and we pass this savings onto you! We all win!
Control Panel-ish environment. You have all sorts of nifty looking gadgets taped, stapled, pasted, or glued onto the tin can, giving it a very sophisticated look! Impress your friends with it, take it to parties and tell them it does
cool things... but that you just don't want to show them.
It's WATER-PROOF! Can YOUR current provider stand behind THAT claim? I don't think so!
E-Mail... EMAIL? Why use email, when you have VOICE flowing, in REAL TIME, across our string!?
E-Mail Forwarding? BAH! Refer to above!
SMTP Server? It's the SAME as email, this can not be improved upon!
Telnet, FTP? Are you kidding? You have complete and LIVE physical access to the tin can! YOU can bring it HOME! Store it in a SOCK DRAWER! In the glove box of your car! The possibilities are ENDLESS!
Portability, complete and utter portability! Can you take your current system with you to the park, the bank, the movies, in your pocket, or in a can opener? How can anyone compare to this!?
Frontpage Extensions? Of course! We're talking about TIN CANS, for goodness sakes! It's not like we're interested in actually improving the service and featuring anything that's worth a damn! So, sure, we'll throw that in the deal!
Python? Sure, we can throw in a snake!
PHP 4... Of course.. Why, we'll even put a sticker that read "PHP FIVE MACH III!".
ASP? Another snake? Uh, sure.. okay!
Static IP? Why when you have YOUR OWN LINE/STRING?
24 Hour Helpdesk? Of course, you have the ability at any time, by use of the highly technical and capable can-tech-nology.
Karaoke? Yes! Definitely!
What else can it do? Well, it can slice, dice and cut and peel! It can wash your car, walk your dog and melt your face! It can file your tax, it can serve prison time FOR YOU, if you fail to pay your tax! It doesn't have to be housed trained! It won't argue with you, debate issues or conflict with your ego!
With the special jiggeroo attachment(s)(tm), you can use it as a cerebral cortex stimulator! That's right, with the special probe attachments, for a low price of $39.99 (for 34 months), you can do everything from picking your nose, to investigating your various orifices, to never needing a date again -- and all in the PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME! The days of searching through the back pages of your favorite adult entertainment magazine for sexual aid tools are long gone! A great tool and conversation maker! Meet new people and make new friends!
WARNING: Do not share the special probing attachment with strangers, unless you use the special protectomatic protective cover!
How much?? Well, I'm not sure yet. I'm seriously entertaining the thought of partnerships, investors and criminal syndicates. Currently, such companies and organizations are showing great interest in this venture: The Cub Scouts of America, The Cubero Scoutos el South Americo, The Organization for the Promotion and Furtherment of more Frivolous Organizations, DEA, FBI, MTV, B.O.R.E.D., The Society for Buying Out Cheap Ass Fraudulent Wanna-be Companies, ALT+F4, CTRL-ALT-DEL, rm -rf /, rmdir . /s/q, Baywatch, Budweiser, Coors, Donkey, Blah, WHT, MattF, Kunal, Chicken, BC, VDI, Y.O.U., YOUR MOTHER!... and others!
WARNING: If any of the following symptoms occur, discontinue use and seek professional assistance:
* boredom
* excitement
* malaise
* contempt
* sadness
* joy
* death
* paralysis
* aixelsyD
* panting
* foaming at the mouth
* use of computer
* use of muscles
* use of vision
* blurred vision
* blindness
* diarrhea
* anything with the suffix "lexia"
* Montreal
* chicken pox
* small pox
* any sort of "pox" at all, really.
* bowel movements
* lack of bowel movements
* Germany
* Russia
* Zdrastvooti!
* Sheezlebot
* pretzel
* supercalifragilisticexpealidocious
* ifyoucanreadandunderstandthis,thenit'salreadytoolateforyou!
* the cold
* the flu
* no cold or flu
* no clue
* bitterness
* pride
* egoism
* moronicism
* intelligence
* confusion
* enlightenment
* depression
* euphoria
* rock 'n roll
* goal in life
* life
* breathing
* terror
* panic attacks
* service
* qwerty
* ...dots...
* reading
* this
* stupid
* post
* ____ fill in the blank!
ACT NOW!!!
:: Remember, the "can" stands for "Can do!" ::