another Triple Thread from yours truly:
1. Something of the something of the Planet of The Apes
ok, decent film. CGI shifts in quality between horrid and astounding. Super cliche' characters in the CEO and the scientist, cliche' plot (duh) and supporting characters, tell a not-horrid story about how a monkey escapes into the wild with amazing intelligence, while a bunch of people die because virus.
Nowhere near the "amazing intelligent film" it's got a bit of the Free Willy spirit (or any other "i love animals" film from the 80s) and the plot makes sense, although there's not much story to go around, and as such it's quite slow and not particularly interesting. Did not like the teen-angst monkey bits, though.
2. The Other Something of the Planet of The Apes
AKA Apes With Guns. aaand a bullet factory, apparently. And quite well versed in animal husbandry, and totally not preoccupied about unimportant stuff, like finding food outside of their natural habitat, the outside temperature in North America, and the fact that literally every human on the planet wants them dead.
Gary Oldman starts in the shouty bits, and the same guy who stars in every film ever says "monkeys! that talk!" despite this having gone on for quite a while now.
The plot, if i understand it correctly, is that after the big virus, monkeys attack a group of humans after they steal their guns, immediately learn how to shoot from horseback, perform accurate feats of gunsmithing, and magically not run out of bullets. Because of .. reasons, the monekys win. Even though the world is devastated, kids still prefer reading books and being angsty rather than killing stuff.
3. A Very Important Something of the Planet of The Apes
A bunch of very well armed humans attack some monkeys and obviously lose. The monkeys show to be really nice people at the same time that they kill the humans, which i guess is the main point of this series - ape good, human bad. Except kids, kids are cool, but when they grow up they become evil redneck murderers who deserve to be killed. I'm pretty sure i saw woody harrelson doing something. A bunch of apes are eventually captured by la resistance and they have a chance to further hammer in their human side which is much, much better than humans because humans bad apes good.
Finally the humans massively cock up and everyone dies except for our heroes the apes, wohoo.
expectations before the marathon: it's gonna suck.
reality after the marathon: it was bland, not good, some bits were bad. filmed pretty well, the characters are not interesting, the conflict is not interesting, the story is unconvincing. Just like The Hobbit, a huge amount of CGI just thrown on the screen without any reason to be, without emotion, without any consideration for the viewers.
would not recommend: 5/10