Obesity - major hinderance to success?

[slackerinabox]

I'll cut to the chase - the wife and I realized that we've both hit plateaus in our respective careers. She's a better example because, with her double masters she's getting 5+ interviews a week while noticing pretty little things with far less qualifications getting these jobs at the end of the day. We've both put on weight post 2 kids and stress and love of shitty food (our fault, our faults for dealing with the stress poorly) and the search is just harder than ever, and looking at the average BMI of Manhattan is pretty striking (now I'm often literally the only fatty on a subway car, where have all the chubby italian guys gone??).

I personally am looking at a holistic, don't blame anyone but myself approach to life. is it wrong for me to think losing weight should be my #1 priority right now if I expect to advance in my career? We're both getting interviews, we're both not all that awkward at interviews (my wife's a pro), we both have credentials - can our solution be as simple as getting on the treadmill?

edit/update

Thanks guys, I kept quiet because the post was a bit of a pathetic pity party. I also got a job, my boss is a chunky fellow too so my point remains I suppose I'm most upset about my wife - I'm a slacker but she's the opposite - 2 masters in her field , years of acclaimed and hard work (award winning teacher), and she had consistently aced phone interviews getting to the 2nd or 3rd interview, then nada. She hits a wall whenever she hits a certain type (men and minority women love her, skinny white women have all rejected her - and she's a white lady). I don't think it's race, just from personal experience white women seem much more into body image issues than sisters. We've both upped the fitness because whining solves nothing, still - it's frustrating to watch.

 

[lxskllr]

Losing weight is a good priority regardless of job. It certainly won't hurt job prospects, and you'll be healthier and generally more able if you lose weight.

 

[Brainonska511]

can our solution be as simple as getting on the treadmill?

Weight loss is not always that simple, so don't expect miracles overnight. But there are some simple things (that will take persistence and patience) that you could do:
-Set aside some time for exercise, whether that's just going for a walk or something more vigorous
-Eat more dinners at home and bring your own lunch: it's easier to have control over the portion sizes and ingredients you use. And if you do go out, pay attention to the portions you eat. You don't have to finish off the plate.
-Stop buying junk food and stock up on fruits and vegetables for when you want to snack.
-Skip the soda and stick with water

To the question posed in the title: it might; appearances could play into someone's unconscious and initial impressions.

 

[Puffnstuff]

Weight loss gained by starving will come back to haunt you quickly and most early losses are water weight only. Using the principle of burning more than you eat gauge where to want to be and set some goals for yourself. 3,500 calories = 1lb of body fat so the math comes into play when calculating what you need to do to accomplish your goals.

Use a smart watch to track your activities so you can see where you are on a daily basis. Losing weight doesn't have to be a difficult task but does require some changes in your diet to remove items that are responsible for it. Stop drinking anything with calories in it to start the process and stay away from all soft drinks period. Water is your best friend and does many things for your body like hydrate your skin and lubricate your joints.

 

[Mai72]

Make healthy choices and exercise daily. Try to do something. Anything. Even if it is to walk around the block. You'll have the great feeling that you did something. Also, track your calories thru MyFitnessPal or something similar. They are free to use. It's important because you'd be surprised how quickly the pounds add up.

People do judge. Although it is unethical and illegal to judge a job applicant by appearance, many people in HR do it. They do it consciously and unconsciously. We are all human. We form judgements about the people we meet within minutes. It's unfair but that's the reality.

Remember it takes time. You didn't put on those extra pounds in days. It took months. Well, it's going to be the same with getting back into shape abd losing weight.

Finally, try mediation. I like guided meditation myself. For $40 a year subscription I use the app Calm. They have guided meditation for anxiety, energy, depression, etc. For only a 5 minute commitment per day, you can start to work on your thoughts as well. There are many benefits to mediation.

 

[MrSquished]

Eat better and do some cardio. Try to keep it fun. I ride a bike and am active on the bikeforums.net a lot and I hear tons of people post about picking up riding and losing significant weight. Riding is low impact on your knees and because you get to go fast and see so many cool things on rides and go on adventures (the miles add up way faster than walking or running) that it keeps it fun and engaging. Good luck!

 

[Dr. Detroit]

I wouldn't blame the lack of job-offer on your wife's obesity.

Lots of hiring managers pass over super smart people for fear they will try and climb the ladder too fast and that hiring manager will be out of a job or will lose that person too fast to another job when they can not pro,mote or challenge them.

And yes - you two need to learn how to put the fork down, cook healthy eats, and exercise.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Well, losing weight might not be the only thing holding you back, but it's a good place to start. You have to look at things from the perspective of the company doing the hiring. You're a larger health risk. You're more likely to miss work due to health issues and you're more likely to die sooner, have trouble moving around the office, climbing stairs, etc etc etc.

Anyone involved in the hiring process is going to look big picture, health, potential career longevity, least likely to sue to get larger bathroom stalls, whatever and you're also facing the automatic check mark against of "this person can't take care of himself, how can he take care of his job?". When all else is equal, the younger, healthier candidate is always going to get hired. Statistically they're going to be there longer, miss fewer days and be less of a hassle.

But you should probably approach it as taking care of yourself first and letting everything else follow from that. No job is going to help you if you die of a heart attack at age 50. Get healthier to prolong your life and that will improve you job prospects.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

You're both educated and job hunting in Manhattan and think you've plateaued due to weight? Obviously you're not networking with the right people There IS no other criteria in Manhattan.

 

[gorcorps]

Keep in mind that big people are often also self conscious, which can affect your confidence level without you really noticing it. This is more likely to be the cause, and your interviews are probably not going as well as the more confident folks. At the end of the day, personality fit can be just as big of a deal (if not more so) to an employer as basic qualifications. It's much harder to change an unconfident, sheepish personality than it is to train someone that already has the right personality

 

[renz20003]

I'm about 20lbs away from the biggest I've ever been and I've never been more successful. YMMV

 

[JSt0rm]

I think fat people lack willpower. Therefore I will only hire them to play video games.

 

[Carson Dyle]

Ages?

Both of you are working? Maybe a plateau is a plateau, and that's why you're not getting better jobs with other employers.

 

[smackababy]

Weight may only be a part of it. Perhaps, the weight is why you have less confidence? Maybe these "pretty little things" are more confident, more assertive, have a more personable attitude and get the jobs.

 

[cbrunny]

--Donald trump is a fat guy. He is almost president. Some say he is too fat to be president though.

 

[lxskllr]

--Donald trump is a fat guy. He is almost president. Some say he is too fat to be president though.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

--Donald trump is a fat guy. He is almost president. Some say he is too fat to be president though.

What color is the sky in your world?

 

[Markbnj]

Can't hurt, like GagHalfrunt said. I used to be more or less in your shoes. I mean I don't have a "career," I have a trade. But other aspects of the situation were similar. I don't think I needed to lose weight to directly affect job prospects or anything, but maybe it was a proxy for lots of other stuff, who knows? In any case I took off 70+ pounds and I feel good enough that it was a worthwhile end in and of itself.

 

[purbeast0]

To be blunt, I personally see fat people as lazy and I'd take a skinny person over a fat person, all things equal job wise, 10/10 times. Whether that's wrong/mean/whatever, that is just how I view it.

When someone is fat it shows me they lack discipline and self control. It shows me they are lazy. It also tells me they don't care about their health and their well being. If they don't care enough about themselves and are lazy with themself, why would they care enough about someone else (the company) or not be lazy for someone else?

 

[Chaotic42]

To be blunt, I personally see fat people as lazy and I'd take a skinny person over a fat person, all things equal job wise, 10/10 times. Whether that's wrong/mean/whatever, that is just how I view it.

When someone is fat it shows me they lack discipline and self control. It shows me they are lazy. It also tells me they don't care about their health and their well being. If they don't care enough about themselves and are lazy with themself, why would they care enough about someone else (the company) or not be lazy for someone else?

They're too busy working hard to eat properly. Usually the folks who work late nights and weekends eat really poorly.

 

[Ancalagon44]

It does subconsciously (or even consciously) affect people's decision making.

But, the biggest reason to lose weight is for health reasons. What I'd rather encourage you to do is look at improving your health overall so that you can live longer and with lower medical expenses. Obesity is a symptom of poor health, so rather aim to tackle the poor health and the obesity will then go away on its own.

Focusing on weight loss rather than improving your health tends to make you focus in on that area and sometimes make sub-optimal decisions. Look at your life (and health) as a whole rather than weight loss only, and you will benefit from it.

Stop eating instant meals, double the amount of fresh vegetables you eat, go for long walks 2-3 times per week, and stop drinking your calories (no soda or fruit juice). You'll improve your health a lot just by doing that, and in the process lose a lot of weight. Your mood should improve too, so you will be happier. That will be noticeable to potential and actual employers.

 

[smackababy]

They're too busy working hard to eat properly. Usually the folks who work late nights and weekends eat really poorly.

And usually, in my field, the people who have to work late nights and weekends, are either poorly managed or poor at their jobs.

 

[Chaotic42]

And usually, in my field, the people who have to work late nights and weekends, are either poorly managed or poor at their jobs.

What field? We get lots of scope creep and vague guidance which often leads to extended work hours. Add to that someone messing something up, and it's almost always a recipe for late nights from time to time.

 

[purbeast0]

They're too busy working hard to eat properly. Usually the folks who work late nights and weekends eat really poorly.

If you're working late nights and weekends, it's because your company either has terrible management or you're a bad employee who can't get your shit done during regular hours so you have to come in later to finish.

Also, all you did was give an excuse as to why someone may eat poorly. If they are working late or weekends, why not take 20 minutes before going to work to prepare something you can eat at work, instead of taking 20 minutes to run out and go to the Wendy's drive through for a Baconator with fries and a large coke?

 

[Ancalagon44]

Even easier, do intermittent fasting.

Never eat a meal that you have to compromise nutrition because of time in order to make. In other words, if you are pressed for time at work and thus resort to unhealthy alternatives, rather skip the meal and eat later when you have the time to make a proper, satisfying healthy meal. You can eat more to make up the calories you skipped over lunch and still lose weight.