by: Rigger82, Lunch Meat, Checkmate11b, MM11c, Edwards, EODTech, and FalconPara
Posted: July 12, 2011
If you’ve spent any time around our site, you’ll know we take a serious look at military games. The more serious the team of developers and artists are about talking details, the more we’re going to test them and keep them to that standard. So far, our Swedish friends from DICE have been doing a great job.
The other day we were presented with an image of the 4 primary classes for this upcoming title and after the initial look at all the little details, we decided this one needed us to call an inspection and review the troops.
What we found, well, let’s just say we feel like this a bit of a soup sandwich.
GROUP ATTENTION, STANDBY FOR INSPECTION
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Support Class
To be honest, most of us look at this image and worry when this poor bastard is going to get jumped by some Gunnery Sergeant for the Mr. T starter kit of ammunition. Metal draped over your neck isn’t comfortable or practical, put it in a damn box there, devil dog. The other thing we note is that the ‘oorah deadlift of the M249 SAW is cool but based on his arms, someone needs to get comfortable with a case of MREs and bulk up.
The Gig List
-Nice SAW, you wouldn’t have to carry it like that if you had a sling.
-Yellow gloves, great for the garden center at Home Depot.
-Get those extra rounds into that case!
-Is that a Med kit front and center? It most likely would have a red strap to signify medical gear for easy identification.
-Still wondering about those boots but they look non standard.
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Engineer Class
We’re to believe that these are Marine MARSOC troops and if there is one thing that the Marines do well, that’s maintain a good ‘squared-away’ appearance. That beard might be fine when he’s auditioning for the next Medal of Honor cover shot, but the face fur’s gotta go.
The Gig List
-No head gear or helmet, but the ball cap is for baseball or Blackwater.
-If he’s EOD then we would likely see some ballistic glasses/goggles.
-You can body sling an AT4 but again no sling on the M16A3/A4. Hope you like carrying it.
-Super-long barrel on the M16, definitely not standard issue.
-Shotgun shells, but no shotgun.
-What’s the deal with the ‘crackle camo’ on the AT4?
-Shopping at Gloves R Us this weekend with the Support class. While dark, we still seem to be flashing a nice yellow bit.
-We’re looking for the Commo gear for the headset, maybe in the bag up on the chest.
-Every one of these guys should have a sidearm.
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Recon Class
Ok, this outfit is a bag of hammers, box of rocks and is flat out f’d up like a football bat. Our shooter clearly woke up naked in a Hollywood warehouse and grabbed as much crap off the rack to avoid being recognized on the walk of shame home.
-That IR strobe doesn’t stand a chance in that right shoulder pocket area after a couple hits from that Barrett recoil.
-Lots of 5.56 ammo and magazine but no secondary weapon. I guess he ditched it when he realized that DICE wasn’t issuing slings.
-That green Schemagh (head scarf) would likely be your more standard tan/white. It wouldn’t get worn like he’s trying out for American Ninja competition. Seriously though, you wouldn’t want to look ‘too much’ like the enemy, so wearing it like that might get you some blue on blue fire situations.
-If he’s on the hunt, those goggles are not going to be up there on the head catching the light.
-Snipers like headgear! Breaks up the outline AND affords you some shade in sunny conditions for your shot.
-What is with the glove shopping with this crew? Skeleton gloves really? I guess someone at DICE is channeling a secret disappointment with the GHOST character from Modern Warfare.
-Double ration recruit! You sure aren’t going to be shouldering that weapon on that 130 lb frame, get this boy a sandwich.
-Crackle Camo again on the body of the weapon system, what the hell is that?
-Seem to be missing a bi-pod on the weapon, and the flash suppressor for a weapon that size is usually much larger.
-Shirt layering, if you lose the blouse (shirt) you might have the undershirt on but two undershirts look like he just left ‘The Gap’ at the mall.
-No visible sidearm… don’t leave home without it.
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Assault Class
We’re not used to seeing Marines with MICH helmets, so sporting all that on the head looks like he’s signed up for sensory deprivation training. We’ve also deduced that there is good evidence here that he lost to the armorer during poker night. He got stuck with the M16 variant rather than his M4!
-Blue tape on the magazines? Guess these are the ‘blanks’. What is this obsession with color accenting on the classes? Earth tones are used for a reason out there in the field.
-Another example of a Marine that didn’t stand close enough to the razor. The face fur is evident again.
-M16 with unusually long barrel again and what appears to be a flip sight that doesn’t make much sense in this application.
-While not impossible, you likely wouldn’t wrap your weapon’s buttstock with anything that could bunch up against and potentially interfere with the charging handle.
-Magpul are either falling off or those are greater than 30 round magazines based on the length
-Headscarf seems a little much given all the head decor and that green stands out too much with all the washed out brown tones and black.
-Of all the gloves picked up by this unit, these likely ‘Oakley Assaults’ are the best suited and yet are brown!
-Technical note: It looks like his left hand has been swiveled backwards, something about the fingers just seem wrong.
Addressing the Troops
Well Marines, you officially look like you stood in front of a surplus store when it was blown up! This is a sorry excuse for the Corps and more than a little disappointing for the team here at Off Duty Gamers. We can just hope that maybe this image is something they were playing with and once they peel off the gun show layer, we’ll see some serious Marines standing tall, ready to take care of business and still represent the professionals of the USMC.
PS. It’s worth noting that we think we’ve found the model used for the Assault and Engineer facial images.