Old, lying computer advertisements

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piasabird

Lifer
Feb 6, 2002
17,168
60
91
My favorite is the commercials claiming you can get a high speed internet like cable up to 50 times faster than dial-up. Anone have that 50 times faster then dial up connection yet?
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,143
30,099
146
There was also the time (I want to say Pentium 4 days) that AMD released processor numbers that weren't that actual MHZ rating, but instead a "performance indicator" to show that the performance of the slower clock speed of AMD's were along the lines of current P4's. I wouldn't call that dishonest or anything, but it did lead to some confusion.

yes yes. very confusing this system was.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,143
30,099
146
My favorite is the commercials claiming you can get a high speed internet like cable up to 50 times faster than dial-up. Anone have that 50 times faster then dial up connection yet?

yup.

I just downloaded some extra bandwidth about 30 minutes ago.

I'm about to start downloading some new RAM.

(See, I was smart to download the bandwidth first, b/c I need all that extra space to fit all of that RAM that I'm about to download.)
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,143
30,099
146
LCD/TV companies are messing with us with all the BS specs right now. 10 years from now we will laugh at the contrast ratio claims.

those contrast ratios have been around for a long time now.

DPI is still heavily marketed to sell printers, and is essentially just as meaningless.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,143
30,099
146
I recall an ad from the mid 90s from some company claiming that their compression software could get any file, no matter how large, down to a few KB. All you had to do was keep recompressing the same file until it was down the size that you wanted. Wish I had saved a copy.

lolwut?
 

erikistired

Diamond Member
Sep 27, 2000
9,739
0
0
There was Cyrix back then, marketing their 166mhz cpus as "200", model... They had pretty much the shittiest FPU ever. Their ALU was great, but, they were completely useless for anything related to any game.

they threw great parties tho.
 
Feb 19, 2001
20,155
23
81
i remember them showing pentium 166mhz models with some arbitrary benchmark bar chart and it was like 3x as fast as my 90mhz, and with deceptive scaling it looks like its 20x faster or whatever.

Throw on MMX and you would think you're going warp speed. lulz.
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,655
687
126
I recall an ad from the mid 90s from some company claiming that their compression software could get any file, no matter how large, down to a few KB. All you had to do was keep recompressing the same file until it was down the size that you wanted. Wish I had saved a copy.

I do remember that ad, but I can't remember the name of the company. Obviously they didn't study information entropy.
 

Bryf50

Golden Member
Nov 11, 2006
1,429
51
91
My favorite is the commercials claiming you can get a high speed internet like cable up to 50 times faster than dial-up. Anone have that 50 times faster then dial up connection yet?

50 times faster then 56k is only 2800k. I've had faster then that for 10 years now.
 

mizzou

Diamond Member
Jan 2, 2008
9,734
54
91
computers in the old day swere so fuckign expensive, but they lasted longer
 

mizzou

Diamond Member
Jan 2, 2008
9,734
54
91
They had no FPU (or next to none since it sucked), right? I had a Cyrix 586 CPU and it was awesome until I fired up Quake, which thrived off of FPU performance, lol.

I got bit by the Cyrix 686

yeah it's FPU performance sucked, a later article once stated after the fall of Cyrix that it should have never said "200+" for it's chips to try and compete with pentium, it should have dominated it clock by clock

AMD does the same damn thing now which pisses me off
 

bryanW1995

Lifer
May 22, 2007
11,144
32
91
It was probably those dual CPU computers. They had computers that supported two CPUs, so theoretically, it could be double the speed. With the advent of dual core, we do not see it anymore.

you mean that they don't make 2p servers anymore! shit, I meant to get one last week!
 
Oct 4, 2004
10,515
6
81
are speakers still sold with the 9 brazillion watts PMPO rating?
Yes, last year I went looking for a simple 2-channel integrated amp or stereo receiver. There weren't many serious audio shops here then (a couple have popped up in the past year) so I had to check out all the big chains. One sales guy threw me the most befuddled look ever when I said I wanted something no frills, a simple 80Wx2 amp. He even said something to the effect, "Even laptop speakers these days deliver like 500W." I politely told him he was mistaken and walked away.

But he obviously thought I was a noob or a retard. Oddly enough, in the very same store, the guy in the Harman Kardon section was doing the exact opposite: he was desperately trying to convince some other guy that their 80Wx5 receiver would blow the crap out of some random >9000W PMPO stereo.

Another time, a guy I knew was showing off his new car audio system and added something to the same effect, "This thing puts out like 2000W" or some ridiculous number like that. When I pointed out that it said 45Wx4 right there on the amp itself, he refused to acknowledge it.
 

DaTT

Garage Moderator
Moderator
Feb 13, 2003
13,295
118
106
yes, last year i went looking for a simple 2-channel integrated amp or stereo receiver. There weren't many serious audio shops here then (a couple have popped up in the past year) so i had to check out all the big chains. One sales guy threw me the most befuddled look ever when i said i wanted something no frills, a simple 80wx2 amp. He even said something to the effect, "even laptop speakers these days deliver like 500w." i politely told him he was mistaken and walked away.

But he obviously thought i was a noob or a retard. Oddly enough, in the very same store, the guy in the harman kardon section was doing the exact opposite: He was desperately trying to convince some other guy that their 80wx5 receiver would blow the crap out of some random >9000w pmpo stereo.

Another time, a guy i knew was showing off his new car audio system and added something to the same effect, "this thing puts out like 2000w" or some ridiculous number like that. When i pointed out that it said 45wx4 right there on the amp itself, he refused to acknowledge it.

dude!!!! 1 more post!!!! Dude!!!!
 

Eli

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
50,419
8
81
All I remember is the huge debacle with regards to HDD sizes. 1024 MB = 1 GB not 1000 MB = 1 GB

If you give the marketing tards room for error when it comes to math, they will exploit it to the nth degree.

There was also the time (I want to say Pentium 4 days) that AMD released processor numbers that weren't that actual MHZ rating, but instead a "performance indicator" to show that the performance of the slower clock speed of AMD's were along the lines of current P4's. I wouldn't call that dishonest or anything, but it did lead to some confusion.

AMD, unfortunately, has almost always done that. They were more or less forced to, as people only paid attention to MHz. It was usually true though - their performance in Windows apps at say, 300MHz was the same as a Pentium at 400MHz, again in Windows apps.. AMD's math processors lacked oomph for quite a few generations.

Then there were times when AMD was really struggling to keep up. Remember the "Am5x86/133 - P75"? Essentially a 486DX5/133 that was roughly as fast as a Pentium 75 at some things.. lol. I still have mine.

There have been a few times in history when AMD was ahead of Intel. First, in the 386 days with the Am80386DX/40. Then with the launch of the initial Athlon. They really caught Intel with their pants down on that one. I was really into computer hardware back then.. It was great.
 
Oct 20, 2005
10,978
44
91
Back in the 90s, I remember seeing these ads all over magazines like Computer Shopper that were advertising computers with absolutely stupid specs. Like, stuff that I knew couldn't be right. While I only had a 486sx (33 mhz!) at the time, my friends were beginning to get things like Pentium 133s and Pentium 2's, and I read PC Magazine whenever I could. I was in no way an expert, but I had at least a vague idea what was going on.

The ads, however, claimed things like 500 mhz, or maybe even 5000 mhz. I honestly don't remember, it's been quite awhile. The claims were obviously false, but I didn't know why.

I still don't know exactly what they were, and I'm having trouble finding copies of the ads online. I haven't thought about those things for a decade or more, but they were on my mind this morning and I got to thinking: What was up with that?

Does anyone else remember those things? Were the claims literal fabrications, or was there some bizarre marketing-speak behind it? (There are fifty 66mhz CPUs glued to the inside of the case, that's over 3000 mhz!)

I'm going to guess that you are not remembering correctly what you saw or you just did not understand what you read back then.
 

Sphexi

Diamond Member
Feb 22, 2005
7,280
0
0
The Alpha boxes were awesome. I'm pretty sure they strapped some sort of an A/C unit or fridge to the bottom to keep them running cold. Damn newbs.
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
My favorite is the commercials claiming you can get a high speed internet like cable up to 50 times faster than dial-up. Anone have that 50 times faster then dial up connection yet?
Yep. I had that about 8 years ago.
56kb/s * 50 = 2800kb/s

So basically they're advertising 3mb/s cable.
 
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