OMG! I have no fvcking privates!

[her209]

I got home at about 1:15 a.m. from an awesome night last night with my girlfriend, and I pretty much went straight to bed (I wasn't drinking - I had to drive - so I was tired and worn out). Anyway, as I'm about to drift off to sleep, I hear my alarm somewhere making the noise it makes when I get a burglar. I, being too tired to get up, resolved to look at it tomorrow to see what it said.

Enter the burglar. He had gotten home about 10 minutes before the alarm came on, and was still there when it went off. I went to sleep not even thinking about him having some sort of knowledge of the arlarm...I mean how would he know, right?

I woke up this morning at about 9:00 and went to the kitchen to make breakfast (sausage, cereal and a donut, in case you care ). While it was cooking, I checked my alarm, and strangely enough, it showed NO NEW ALERTS. Investigating further, I went into my alerts log and viewed the messages. It showed that I got one at 1:40 a.m., but IT'D ALREADY BEEN CLEARED.

When I woke up, I had no privates. WTF! Who the fvck cuts off someone's privates when it's clear that it has NOTHING to do with them?

WTF, I'm so angry. It's as if he has NO regard for my privates.

My advice: NEVER ignore the house alarm. NEVER. This is definitely NOT the first time something like this has happened.

 

[SynthDude2001]

0/10

 

[Weeeman]

-3/10

 

[amdskip]

Originally posted by: SynthDude2001
0/10

 

[Zeeky Boogy Doog]

5/10

i must have enjoyed it a bit more than some, haha, it's not the worst i've seen, so i couldn't give you a 0, still not quality though

 

[Hyperblaze]

bad parody

 

[Tremulant]

not the greatest.. but definitely not the worst.

 

[MrDudeMan]

lol that is pretty funny in a weird way =P

 

[Spikesoldier]

booooo

:throwtomato;

 

[MichaelD]

This is definitely NOT the first time something like this has happened.

So...you've had your privates cut off BEFORE? How'd you get them put back on? Sewing kit? Super glue? Sub-atomic-transfixual-restoratative techniques? How?

 

[Juno]

Originally posted by: Spikesoldier
booooo

:throwtomato;

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

This is definitely NOT the first time something like this has happened.

So...you've had your privates cut off BEFORE? How'd you get them put back on? Sewing kit? Super glue? Sub-atomic-transfixual-restoratative techniques? How?

 

[dragonballgtz]

This is definitely NOT the first time something like this has happened.

:QHow many privates do u have?:Q

 

[Triforceofcourage]

Worst...... Thread....... Ever

 

[AcidicFury]

:thumbsdown:

 

[CrackRabbit]

:music: I woke up this morning and my penis was gone again. I wasn't worried, its detachable. Detatchable Peeenis:music:

 

[dquan97]

Mine's on velcro

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: Spikesoldier
booooo

:throwtomato;

 

[funboy6942]

OK OK Calm down this may come as a shocker but,
YOU ARE A GIRL!!! You have never at any time had a hot dog with 2 sides. See them lumpy thing under your shirt? Them are called Boobies and only a girl (and some very fat guys) have them BUT your not a fat guy so you are a girl. You never had anything to loose.
Now there is a slight chance you are having an out of body experiance and may have switched souls with a girl and she is in your body right now. Can you remember who you were last with? If so may want to goi visit them and see about switching bodies back. Unless your just having a really bad hangover which I then say go grab a forty and go back to bed and sleep it all off.
Happy new year.

 

[txxxx]

Sub zero

 

[Engineer]

Originally posted by: Triforceofcourage
Worst...... Thread....... Ever

 

[raildogg]

Originally posted by: jjones

Originally posted by: Spikesoldier
booooo

:throwtomato;

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

-8/10

 

[MarklarMarklar]

10/10 for creativity.

 

[bandana163]

At least the thread title is correct.