omg, wtfbbq, diaf! Not cool, waaaayyy not cool...

[911paramedic]

So this was hanging out in my kitchen a few minutes ago. Yes, it's a freaking tarantula as big as your hand. The thing was just clinging to the wall staring me, and my cat, down.

CAUTION: NSIYAHAITD
(not safe if you are home alone in the dark)

http://pics.bbzzdd.com/users/911paramedic/tarantula.jpg

No sleep for me! One year!

 

[MAKENITO]

Oh gawd.

 

[disappoint]

obligatory orbit from nuke not brory stool cro

 

[PhoKingGuy]

Are you the same 911paramedic on tdiclub by chance?

 

[911paramedic]

Are you the same 911paramedic on tdiclub by chance?

Probably not since I don't know what that is. I only use this name here, otherwise I go by SARmedic or (1VB)SARmedic.

 

[Newbian]

Thankfully they are not poisonous but still not fun to be near you.

Although they do feel weird when waling over your hand, cousins in Arizona had some has pets.

 

[BoomerD]

We have scads of tarantulas here in norcal. I've caught quite a few that had legspans of nearly 12" when stretched out, or 6+" in "walking mode."

Non-aggressive critters. I always release them back into the wild. (fortunately, none in the house though...my wife would kill me trying to get away from it.)

The worse I find in the house are the occasional black widow and lots of jumping spiders. (look like mini-tarantulas)

 

[manowar821]

There's a ton here in south-cali, too. They're nice as far as spiders go.

 

[illusion88]

I wouldn't even know how to start attacking that thing. Do you go with a shoe? Is that big enough? A broom isn't enough. A well placed blow the handle, but that might damage your wall. Newspaper doesn't seem substantial. How do you fight such a creature?

 

[ShawnD1]

I wouldn't even know how to start attacking that thing. Do you go with a shoe? Is that big enough? A broom isn't enough. A well placed blow the handle, but that might damage your wall. Newspaper doesn't seem substantial. How do you fight such a creature?

Kill it with fire. The woman way is to use Pam cooking spray, but real men use ether for starting cold engines. Ether is extremely flammable as is the propellant gas.

Another one you can find in any place that sells tools is acetylene. It's crazy hot. In the chem lab we would use natural gas to get to 2000 degrees for emission spectroscopy, but acetylene goes all the way up to 3000 degrees. House may burn down but you know that spider will be dead.

 

[Wheezer]

I love spiders...I would capture it and make it a pet, but my wife would have a heart attack if she saw something like that...she freaks over the little wolf spiders we sometimes find in the basement.

 

[ShawnD1]

I love spiders...I would capture it and make it a pet

Or you could make a porn out of it.

not work safe obviously
http:// moronail.net /img/ 2365_spider_porn

Just remove the spaces and the url will work.

 

[borisvodofsky]

I'm glad my state is so polluted, all dem' fu|<ing critters are dead.

 

[911paramedic]

This morning there was a rather large camel spider just outside my back door, not cool x2.

(I never believed they were as fast as the reports said, but it was scurrying along and must have gotten spooked because it took off in a HURRY.)

 

[eits]

Or you could make a porn out of it.

not work safe obviously
http:// moronail.net /img/ 2365_spider_porn

Just remove the spaces and the url will work.

ugh... how could that dude even keep it up?

 

[angminas]

What's the best way to coax a spider onto your hand?

 

[MotF Bane]

I wouldn't even know how to start attacking that thing. Do you go with a shoe? Is that big enough? A broom isn't enough. A well placed blow the handle, but that might damage your wall. Newspaper doesn't seem substantial. How do you fight such a creature?

Brakleen.

 

[ShawnD1]

ugh... how could that dude even keep it up?

Probably a mixture of Viagra and amphetamine. Remember those stories where people would take Viagra and it would result in boners that don't go away for several hours? Yeah. There's a market for effects like that.

http://www.slate.com/id/2119865

At least 38 men who have taken Viagra have gone blind, and the drug's manufacturer said last Thursday that it would consider adding a warning to the label. Drug companies already warn consumers that Viagra and competitors like Levitra and Cialis have several other side effects, like blurred vision, headaches, indigestion, and painful erections that last four hours or more. What do you do with an erection that won't quit?

Make a porn about spiders, apparently.

 

[Lounatik]

I had a tarantula as a pet a while ago. Neat as hell, loved to be pet on its back. It would climb up your arm and camp out right on your shoulder by your neck where it could get most of its body hunkered down for the warmth. Kinda like a parrot on your shoulder. Then you could pet it and it would stay there as lond as you would let it.

Freaky thing about tarantulas and spiderd s in general I guess: When they get too big for their skin, they pop out of the top like an army tank and pull themselves out of their exoskeleton. Then you have two tarantulas in your tank. one slightly bigger than the other.

Do not kill them, try to catch it and release it.


Peace


Lounatik

 

[BurnItDwn]

Dude
you just said you have a cat.

Your cat will take care of it. Problem solved.

 

[tboo]

This morning there was a rather large camel spider just outside my back door, not cool x2.

(I never believed they were as fast as the reports said, but it was scurrying along and must have gotten spooked because it took off in a HURRY.)

Where do you live?

 

[Newbian]

Or you could make a porn out of it.

not work safe obviously
http:// moronail.net /img/ 2365_spider_porn

Just remove the spaces and the url will work.

Got any centipede porn to go with that?

 

[waggy]

I HATE spiders. they scare the crap out of me.

but tarantula aren't that bad. they are actually nice. i am more scared of wolf spiders then i am of them.

 

[daw123]

Hit it with this just to make sure:

 

[WA261]

Where in the hell do you live??? I would have shit my pants.