One day little Johnny comes home from school

[leftyman]

He replies "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!"

Immediately she was angry. She said, "just wait till your dad gets home, hes going to be very mad at you. Go to your room!"

So the boy goes to his room and finally his dad comes home and goes up to Johnnys room. The boy tells his dad and the dad is proud of the boy.

"Great job son! How old are you 12, 13? How about we go down to the store and get that shiny red bicycle you wanted?"

So, they go to the store and the dad buys the bike for his son. Then he says, "well Johnny, do you want to ride the bike home?"


The boy answers..












"No, that's okay Dad, My ass is still sore!"


its an oldie ..but I like it.

 

[mugs]

I've probably heard it before, but I forgot the ending.

 

[BW86]

lol

 

[dougp]

Originally posted by: mugs
I've probably heard it before, but I forgot the ending.

But the boy never will!

 

[Barfo]

Heard it before, but still funny.

 

[RaiderJ]

When Little Johnny joined the military he had to jump out of a plane. He told his dad he was nervous at first, but the drill instructor said 'if you don't jump I'm going to f@ck you in the ass!'
Dad: Did you jump?
Johnny: Oh, a little at first!

 

[Tweak155]

One day little Mary comes home to her mother with a story. She tells her mother that she saw Johnny's peepee today.

Before the mother could express her anger, Mary continued:

"It was like a peanut"

The mother settled and chuckled a little and said:

"Small, huh?"

Mary replied:

"No. Salty."

 

[leftyman]

Originally posted by: Tweak155
One day little Mary comes home to her mother with a story. She tells her mother that she saw Johnny's peepee today.

Before the mother could express her anger, Mary continued:

"It was like a peanut"

The mother settled and chuckled a little and said:

"Small, huh?"

Mary replied:

"No. Salty."

:Q

 

[shortylickens]

Originally posted by: Tweak155
One day little Mary comes home to her mother with a story. She tells her mother that she saw Johnny's peepee today.

Before the mother could express her anger, Mary continued:

"It was like a peanut"

The mother settled and chuckled a little and said:

"Small, huh?"

Mary replied:

"No. Salty."

Win!
Much better than the others.

 

[Barfo]

Originally posted by: Tweak155
One day little Mary comes home to her mother with a story. She tells her mother that she saw Johnny's peepee today.

Before the mother could express her anger, Mary continued:

"It was like a peanut"

The mother settled and chuckled a little and said:

"Small, huh?"

Mary replied:

"No. Salty."

:laugh:

 

[silverpig]

Little Johnny's class was doing an exercise where the teacher would write a letter on the board, then choose a student who would then come up with a word that started with that letter, then use that word in a sentence. She was of course wary of picking little Johnny for some letters.

"Okay class, the first letter is P."

Hands shoot up and little Johnny is waving his hand back and forth eagerly. The teacher thinks of a few bad words that begin with P so she chooses Amanda.

"Potatoes. Last night I had potatoes for dinner."

"Very good Amanda. Okay, the next letter is C."

Hands shoot up. Little Johnny is waving even more eagerly. There's no way the teacher is going to let Johnny take this one.

"Yes Suzie."

"Cat. I have a pet cat named Mittens."

"Very good Suzie. Okay class, the next letter is R."

Hands shoot up, Little Johnny is waving frantically. The teacher can't think of any bad words that start with R so she lets little Johnny go.

"Yes Johnny, go ahead."

"RATS! RATS WITH HUGE FUCKING COCKS!"

 

[trmiv]

This thread needs THIS

 

[OCGuy]

A guy is sitting at a bar telling his friend about his first day at jump school in the military.

He was the last one in line to jump out of the plane. Right when it was his turn, he froze up, and just stood on the jump platform, looking out. His drill instructor sees this, and walks over.

"If you dont jump out of this airplane right f*cking now, I am going to stick my huge dick UP YOUR ASS!"

So his friend at the bar asks him "Well, did you jump?"

"A little, at first"

Woohoo![/quote]

 

[Beev]

That one was already posted in this very thread...

 

[OCGuy]

Originally posted by: Beev
That one was already posted in this very thread...

Quick u r

 

[KevinCU]

I logged in just to tell Ocguy31 that you sir, fucking FAIL.

 

[OCGuy]

Originally posted by: KevinCU
I logged in just to tell Ocguy31 that you sir, fucking FAIL.

:laugh:

 

[TecHNooB]

Originally posted by: KevinCU
I logged in just to tell Ocguy31 that you sir, fucking FAIL.

LOL

 

[Fritzo]

haha...you implied the teacher was male, and he had anal sex with the boy.

 

[newnameman]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
haha...you implied the teacher was male, and he had anal sex with the boy.

haha...you explained an obvious joke.

 

[Tweak155]

Originally posted by: newnameman

Originally posted by: Fritzo
haha...you implied the teacher was male, and he had anal sex with the boy.

haha...you explained an obvious joke.

haha you haha'd

 

[Denithor]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
haha...you implied the teacher was male, and he had anal sex with the boy.

Originally posted by: Ocguy31
Quick u r

My thoughts exactly, fast on the uptake aren't we today?

 

[Slew Foot]

Originally posted by: newnameman

Originally posted by: Fritzo
haha...you implied the teacher was male, and he had anal sex with the boy.

haha...you explained an obvious joke.

It could have been a chick with a strap on

 

[ModerateRepZero]

"inconceivable" - Princess Bride

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: Denithor

Originally posted by: Fritzo
haha...you implied the teacher was male, and he had anal sex with the boy.

Originally posted by: Ocguy31
Quick u r

My thoughts exactly, fast on the uptake aren't we today?

psssst---if you use lithium batteries in your sarcasm meter, it'll last longer...