Parents have to be blind to what some kids are doing.

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alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,967
19
81
Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: mchammer
Originally posted by: djheater
Let me clarify.

I perceive the girls in the OP to be products of public school and it's unsupervised social groupings,middle class parental inattention, and media example.

My intention in raising my children is to raise good people. Self-confident, responsible, compassionate beings. It is not about ingraining a moral compass, it's about given them the tools to discover and adhere to the perception of right they discover in themselves.

Sounds to me like you are doing a good job giving them a moral compass. :thumbsup:


I should have said a particular moral directive, or something. I just meant to express that I'm anti-dogmatic.

I will say this is going to backfire on you 9 out of 10 times unless your kids are ugly and/or introverts.

I hope you don't think home schooling > the public. Everything less than college is totally designed for socialization. Whether you like it or not your kids are going to end up in society unless you live in a 'Compound' or out in the wilderness...in those cases I would agree as you'd better socialize them for that environment. Schools are a mean place, you should pick a safe one though...however; we all learned life lessons growing up.

My first wife I would bang in my mustang (one day I was driving my mother somewhere and she got upset that there were foot prints on my windshield in front of her seat) while I was a freshman in college delivering chinese food at night, sometimes she'd come to the bank I worked at and we'd sneak into an empty office or drive somewhere. She was a home schooled student until high school and private christian high schooled until I met her. Had to do bible study weekly, choir, cheer, etc. Her parent's found out one day and I had to tell them I was not the one that made her do anything, she was already with another guy and besides even she wasn't I was not forcing her to do anything and I totally attacked them back on the fact that she would mention "My parent's would so hate this...".

I had to deal with 'house dates' only (we would sneak out later or she'd say she was practicing with a friend). We had to watch TV with the family and could not even hold hands (I was 4.5 years older than her, which I thought was really 2-3 years. She told me she was older and her parent's I was younger, since she was home schooled she was ahead of others...I thought she was a Senior, but she was a Junior). One day we took all the pillows in the house and made a mountain to the ceiling between us on the couch. We both felt bad as her mother came out to check on us (her mother would give us free time by saying things like 'oh...I have to do .... please be good'. Her mom was a saint and everyone loved her, she died of cancer though not even mid 40's )...anyway she came out and saw our pillow tower and started crying. She told us she was not trying to keep us apart just not making mistakes....we both just laughed at her. Looking back we were jerks.

It's easy to keep your kids in the dark for a while, but once they get to around 15-16 they start picking up stuff anyway...even younger for those in public schools, but more or less people act on that information about the same time.

What most people need to get over is that sex is part of a healthy person's life and if consensual there is nothing wrong with it. I find most kids that don't get that included in growing up are the one's that end up pregnant/getting someone pregnant or worst (Herpes, HPV, AIDS).

I grew up in a healthy family. My dad had a home alone night with me when I was about 12-13. He brought up sex and babies and didn't sugar coat it. He told me how sex was a good and bad thing.

This was back in the 80's, I was born in 1971.

He talked about the pill and how that's great once you know a girl, but until you know she is on them and does not have anything, wear something...even then wear something. He said if you end up with a lot of women you will find catching something is a lot easier than getting them pregnant.

If you get a chick pregnant though, just know that will change your life forever....

I learned and I have had a great life.

Experience is a great thing IMHO. I would never marry a virgin, I actually never deflowered anyone through intercourse, one I did through manual stuff...but I couldn't get her alone enough to complete it...each time I wouldn't do it because I knew they were looking for a fairy tale and I was just looking to have them. I would want her to know that everything about me is something she has measured up already against others.

I am in my 30's now, turning 36 this year. I know so many since late 20 that were high school sweet hearts divorcing because of affairs...a lot of times both were doing them.

This only really applies to those that get out there, are attractive (attractive is <> Brad Pitt or Gisele, to me that's just good looking...it's personality mainly, I have known guys and girls that you post a picture up on and they would have no game. They go to a club, bar, grocery store, concert, etc and pull in the hottest and fun people. They weren't rich either always. People want to be entertained, this is why movies and tv are so popular...I like interaction, main reason I post here...if I could be surrounded by real people 24/7 you'd never see a post unless I was looking for something to buy)

To me, sex and interacting with your SO is the best entertainment you can find.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,967
19
81
Originally posted by: djheater
We had the talk about 6 months ago, (she asked because an aunt is pregant) and her reaction was one of amusement and intense disgust... I told her I'd remind her of that when she's about 16 and see how she feels.

As long as he's a cool guy who treats her ok, I'm fine with that.
The point is making sure that SHE knows he needs to be good to her, if he's not she shouldn't be wasting her time.

(and of course contraception!, contraception!, contraception!)

I am not attacking you...

what if he is not so cool but still treats her ok or even great? (your second point clarified that a bit).

Contraception is not the answer though.

Condom or that female wierd deal or nothing.

pill, iud, implant, etc is only saving you from a baby....the other's save you from dying possibly.

I would also mention oral sex. It's going to happen usually before the rest. It can kill or scar you just the same and is more than likely even more dangerous.

 

m1ldslide1

Platinum Member
Feb 20, 2006
2,321
0
0
We had the talk about 6 months ago, (she asked because an aunt is pregant) and her reaction was one of amusement and intense disgust... I told her I'd remind her of that when she's about 16 and see how she feels.

As long as he's a cool guy who treats her ok, I'm fine with that.
The point is making sure that SHE knows he needs to be good to her, if he's not she shouldn't be wasting her time.

(and of course contraception!, contraception!, contraception!)

Personally I think you're doing just fine (and I'm sure you're relieved to hear it). I'm not sure it really matters what school you go to. Since I've gotten older and have met more people I've realized that the most interesting and compassionate people I've met have come from all different backgrounds - college grads, high school dropouts, and so on. That said, I think there's something to be said for putting your kid in an environment where many other kids are going to be successful, ie private school. In the end it doesn't matter all that much - your character seems to come from someplace else.

It it has nothing to freakin do with whether or not you engage in promiscuous sex or wear provacative clothing. If your parents are paying for boobjobs though, that's likely to encourage a WHOLE other set of problems (that probably are already there) having to do with materialism and image saturation.
 

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
2
0
Originally posted by: alkemyst
alkie's life story

If you met me you wouldn't think I was sheltering my children. I dated preacher's daughters too.
I got a girl pregnant, luckily we're still happily in love.

My kids have plenty of socialization, in unsheltered context through park district activities and neighborhood playmates... and it's not as though the school is a commune... there's plenty of "real world" interaction there too. People who send their kids to Waldorf schools often hear the "they won't survive in the real world", but it's simply not true. Waldorf educated children are generally more successful than their public school educated contemporaries.

There are plenty of whack-jobs at the school who are destined to have fvcked up kids, but I'll take them over the parents paying for boob-jobs any day.

People often seem to take the fact that I've chosen a private school for my children as an attack on public schools that they have to defend. It's not, it's a personal choice. I sent my daughter to kindergarten at a public school, and discovered that the reservations I had based on my own experience were perfectly justified. My family made a personal choice to adress those concerns by exercising our right to pay out the ass for alternative education that we felt more accurately reflected our values.

 

exdeath

Lifer
Jan 29, 2004
13,679
10
81
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Walked into subway and a group of pretty hot chicks were in front of me in line today...they looked 20ish. There was a cop that got in line after me they were all scoping out and teasing pretty boldly. They were starting to get aggravating to both of us with the whole "What should I get?"..."think that's good".....

Anyway I am a pig so I pick the table next to them (they are between the window and me) to scope them out and eat.

All were well dressed and made up (designer jeans mostly, belly shirts (whatever those are called), jewelry, two had belly rings and when they left 3 had 'tramp stamps' (I like them though so I am not hating) the girl on the end was not wearing a bra and I found out had a boob job when the other girl looked down at herself and said "I wish my parents would pay for my tits"...cop is now looking, I am looking...chick says, but I had nothing before it would piss my boyfriend off....

At this point I think me and the cop were about to choke on our subs.

It went on...

They were talking quietly about guys they are seeing as a group.....a guy Tito (his age below) has parties and has the 'best sh!t'. They were comparing notes on dates (who sucks, so and so 'did him', did you see that guy whatever Saturday? Yeah slut...we saw you leave with him giggling...he's awesome! I heard so and so has herpes, HE DOESN'T HAVE HERPES! He had something else but he is ok now....). My money is on all of them were regularly sexually active....which I was thinking was fine.

Another was talking about how old is that bitch Jill...I know you like her but she is just too much, isn't Tito like 30? I heard they are a couple....26-27 is pushing it for me, but he is so yummy I want him!

Jill is 16 or 17 like us, I think she's 16 though...she just got her car and her parent's are always getting her whatever she wants. I can get scoop. Tito is only 28 silly, you should talk to him. He is a trip.

The other chick, I guess that's ok...still a little old. Should I get involved?

The other three girls at once: "YEAH!"...another chick said he was asking me about you, made me promise not to say anything...you can't tell him I told you, but you better tell me what happens *SLUT*

my head assploded. I could not picture any of these girls as 16 or 17.

Yup. This is why I hate college. Thats the typical atmosphere.

Know whats better? They vote for people like Kerry and Hillary without knowing anything about politics or economics because they buy the koolaid and because being commie is trendy lately.
 

Linflas

Lifer
Jan 30, 2001
15,395
78
91
Originally posted by: exdeath
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Walked into subway and a group of pretty hot chicks were in front of me in line today...they looked 20ish. There was a cop that got in line after me they were all scoping out and teasing pretty boldly. They were starting to get aggravating to both of us with the whole "What should I get?"..."think that's good".....

Anyway I am a pig so I pick the table next to them (they are between the window and me) to scope them out and eat.

All were well dressed and made up (designer jeans mostly, belly shirts (whatever those are called), jewelry, two had belly rings and when they left 3 had 'tramp stamps' (I like them though so I am not hating) the girl on the end was not wearing a bra and I found out had a boob job when the other girl looked down at herself and said "I wish my parents would pay for my tits"...cop is now looking, I am looking...chick says, but I had nothing before it would piss my boyfriend off....

At this point I think me and the cop were about to choke on our subs.

It went on...

They were talking quietly about guys they are seeing as a group.....a guy Tito (his age below) has parties and has the 'best sh!t'. They were comparing notes on dates (who sucks, so and so 'did him', did you see that guy whatever Saturday? Yeah slut...we saw you leave with him giggling...he's awesome! I heard so and so has herpes, HE DOESN'T HAVE HERPES! He had something else but he is ok now....). My money is on all of them were regularly sexually active....which I was thinking was fine.

Another was talking about how old is that bitch Jill...I know you like her but she is just too much, isn't Tito like 30? I heard they are a couple....26-27 is pushing it for me, but he is so yummy I want him!

Jill is 16 or 17 like us, I think she's 16 though...she just got her car and her parent's are always getting her whatever she wants. I can get scoop. Tito is only 28 silly, you should talk to him. He is a trip.

The other chick, I guess that's ok...still a little old. Should I get involved?

The other three girls at once: "YEAH!"...another chick said he was asking me about you, made me promise not to say anything...you can't tell him I told you, but you better tell me what happens *SLUT*

my head assploded. I could not picture any of these girls as 16 or 17.

Yup. This is why I hate college. Thats the typical atmosphere.

Know whats better? They vote for people like Kerry and Hillary without knowing anything about politics or economics because they buy the koolaid and because being commie is trendy lately.

I'd bet the farm they wouldn't know a voting machine if it hit them upside the head. It is likely their closest encounter with voting was the ballot for prom queen.
 

Stuxnet

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2005
8,403
1
0
Originally posted by: Aikouka
Originally posted by: jbourne77
Wow... you suck at quoting conversation.

If you're referring to me: don't be a tool, it's called removing nested quotes and you should do it on forums. It's proper forum etiquette.

Peel your thong out of your crack. Wasn't referring to you.

 

DieselUV

Senior member
Dec 9, 1999
363
0
0
this is why i'm afraid to have a daughter. the day i find out she's not a virgin i'll be distraught.
 

A5

Diamond Member
Jun 9, 2000
4,902
5
81
Originally posted by: exdeath
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Walked into subway and a group of pretty hot chicks were in front of me in line today...they looked 20ish. There was a cop that got in line after me they were all scoping out and teasing pretty boldly. They were starting to get aggravating to both of us with the whole "What should I get?"..."think that's good".....

Anyway I am a pig so I pick the table next to them (they are between the window and me) to scope them out and eat.

All were well dressed and made up (designer jeans mostly, belly shirts (whatever those are called), jewelry, two had belly rings and when they left 3 had 'tramp stamps' (I like them though so I am not hating) the girl on the end was not wearing a bra and I found out had a boob job when the other girl looked down at herself and said "I wish my parents would pay for my tits"...cop is now looking, I am looking...chick says, but I had nothing before it would piss my boyfriend off....

At this point I think me and the cop were about to choke on our subs.

It went on...

They were talking quietly about guys they are seeing as a group.....a guy Tito (his age below) has parties and has the 'best sh!t'. They were comparing notes on dates (who sucks, so and so 'did him', did you see that guy whatever Saturday? Yeah slut...we saw you leave with him giggling...he's awesome! I heard so and so has herpes, HE DOESN'T HAVE HERPES! He had something else but he is ok now....). My money is on all of them were regularly sexually active....which I was thinking was fine.

Another was talking about how old is that bitch Jill...I know you like her but she is just too much, isn't Tito like 30? I heard they are a couple....26-27 is pushing it for me, but he is so yummy I want him!

Jill is 16 or 17 like us, I think she's 16 though...she just got her car and her parent's are always getting her whatever she wants. I can get scoop. Tito is only 28 silly, you should talk to him. He is a trip.

The other chick, I guess that's ok...still a little old. Should I get involved?

The other three girls at once: "YEAH!"...another chick said he was asking me about you, made me promise not to say anything...you can't tell him I told you, but you better tell me what happens *SLUT*

my head assploded. I could not picture any of these girls as 16 or 17.

Yup. This is why I hate college. Thats the typical atmosphere.

Know whats better? They vote for people like Kerry and Hillary without knowing anything about politics or economics because they buy the koolaid and because being commie is trendy lately.

Just because they don't agree with you doesn't mean they don't know anything. I would wager that the vast majority of Americans are either A)Completely uninformed on everything and just vote for whoever their "smart" friend/pastor/foreman/etc tell them to or B) Only care about one issue (whether or not it's something that office is responsible for).
 

Mo0o

Lifer
Jul 31, 2001
24,227
3
76
It's hard to tell where their dialogues end and your commentary begins.
 

Aikouka

Lifer
Nov 27, 2001
30,383
912
126
Originally posted by: jbourne77
Peel your thong out of your crack. Wasn't referring to you.

Don't be such a forum newbie then and learn to quote. About 30 people have posted in this thread and without quote or direct reference, there is no idea who it is directed at. Personally, I could see how you (i.e. anyone) would whine at me for my "not so common" viewpoints. I'm used to it by now :laugh:.

Yet, what has me a bit fascinated is why people consider sex to be necessary in a non-marital relationship. It's like a movie I watched a couple months ago called National Lampoon's Adam & Eve where the guy (Adam) started dating the girl (Eve), but she didn't want to have sex. The guy was getting pissy about it... but why? Why should he expect it? Of course, I'll ruin the movie since it sucked anyway, she succumbs in the end to wily temptation .

But getting a bit back to what I was talking about. Why isn't it possible for people these days to "love" without "making love?" This is just going on the idea of sex practically being a required activity for dating, not even mentioning the one-night stands and other various hook-ups. It seems people these days only care about pleasure and even more about the here-and-now and not what consequences their actions could have.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,967
19
81
Originally posted by: slurmsmackenzie
Originally posted by: Malak
I can picture you as 16.

ROFLMFAO

that's what i was thinking. let the skanks be skanks. enjoy the boob oogling, your sub, and stop fretting over why tito gets to bang high schoolers and you don't

I wasn't fretting. I just find it amazing when parent's talk about how they "DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS HAPPENED!!!!"
 

kamikaze27

Senior member
Jan 2, 2007
283
0
0
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Walked into subway and a group of pretty hot chicks were in front of me in line today...they looked 20ish. There was a cop that got in line after me they were all scoping out and teasing pretty boldly. They were starting to get aggravating to both of us with the whole "What should I get?"..."think that's good".....

Anyway I am a pig so I pick the table next to them (they are between the window and me) to scope them out and eat.

All were well dressed and made up (designer jeans mostly, belly shirts (whatever those are called), jewelry, two had belly rings and when they left 3 had 'tramp stamps' (I like them though so I am not hating) the girl on the end was not wearing a bra and I found out had a boob job when the other girl looked down at herself and said "I wish my parents would pay for my tits"...cop is now looking, I am looking...chick says, but I had nothing before it would piss my boyfriend off....

At this point I think me and the cop were about to choke on our subs.

It went on...

They were talking quietly about guys they are seeing as a group.....a guy Tito (his age below) has parties and has the 'best sh!t'. They were comparing notes on dates (who sucks, so and so 'did him', did you see that guy whatever Saturday? Yeah slut...we saw you leave with him giggling...he's awesome! I heard so and so has herpes, HE DOESN'T HAVE HERPES! He had something else but he is ok now....). My money is on all of them were regularly sexually active....which I was thinking was fine.

Another was talking about how old is that bitch Jill...I know you like her but she is just too much, isn't Tito like 30? I heard they are a couple....26-27 is pushing it for me, but he is so yummy I want him!

Jill is 16 or 17 like us, I think she's 16 though...she just got her car and her parent's are always getting her whatever she wants. I can get scoop. Tito is only 28 silly, you should talk to him. He is a trip.

The other chick, I guess that's ok...still a little old. Should I get involved?

The other three girls at once: "YEAH!"...another chick said he was asking me about you, made me promise not to say anything...you can't tell him I told you, but you better tell me what happens *SLUT*

my head assploded. I could not picture any of these girls as 16 or 17.

So you mean to say you're like a bat that doesn't come out much.

When bad parents make bad kids, and the kids make even worse kids, and then little demons come out to play.

1. What kind of kids would those kids have?
2. What would happen if you ran into those kids' kids in 20 years?
3. Did you have a voice recorder?

"brace! brace!"
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,967
19
81
Originally posted by: kamikaze27
So you mean to say you're like a bat that doesn't come out much.

When bad parents make bad kids, and the kids make even worse kids, and then little demons come out to play.

1. What kind of kids would those kids have?
2. What would happen if you ran into those kids' kids in 20 years?
3. Did you have a voice recorder?

"brace! brace!"

huh N00b?

I have rode down the highway of problems

to those above that talked homeschool and stuff...I don't agree. It does make for poor and ignorant offspring though, no matter how much you love them.

15 give or take years ago, i was doing 2 home schooled kids, one I married had a dad that could run a church (Baptists though).

Anyway to answer your questions, what anyone does as a 'kid' or non-children is very different outside that.
 

kamikaze27

Senior member
Jan 2, 2007
283
0
0
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: kamikaze27
So you mean to say you're like a bat that doesn't come out much.

When bad parents make bad kids, and the kids make even worse kids, and then little demons come out to play.

1. What kind of kids would those kids have?
2. What would happen if you ran into those kids' kids in 20 years?
3. Did you have a voice recorder?

"brace! brace!"

huh N00b?

I have rode down the highway of problems

to those above that talked homeschool and stuff...I don't agree. It does make for poor and ignorant offspring though, no matter how much you love them.

15 give or take years ago, i was doing 2 home schooled kids, one I married had a dad that could run a church (Baptists though).

Anyway to answer your questions, what anyone does as a 'kid' or non-children is very different outside that.

damn it feels good to be called n00b again, I feel like 2k1
fair enough, there will always be some exceptions, like why is chuck norris so famous?

you made mention that they were homeschooled, its a great way to bring up kids, and IMO it has its own risks
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,529
3
76
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: PHiuR
assplode, such a great word...btw yes, this stuff is unreal..blame how we raise our children these days...but what's so wrong about it? really...

Funny thing is...this is nothing new. Um, kids were doing this when I was in high school and, what a shock, they're still doing it now. You think nobody did drugs or had sex back in the 1960s? Or by "these days" did you mean since the invention of the automobile? Actually, we just burned women like this at the stake as witches back in the day...ah, the good old days. How's that for a stream of consciousness?

So 100% true, and LMAO!!!
 
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