- Feb 13, 2001
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Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: mchammer
Originally posted by: djheater
Let me clarify.
I perceive the girls in the OP to be products of public school and it's unsupervised social groupings,middle class parental inattention, and media example.
My intention in raising my children is to raise good people. Self-confident, responsible, compassionate beings. It is not about ingraining a moral compass, it's about given them the tools to discover and adhere to the perception of right they discover in themselves.
Sounds to me like you are doing a good job giving them a moral compass. :thumbsup:
I should have said a particular moral directive, or something. I just meant to express that I'm anti-dogmatic.
I will say this is going to backfire on you 9 out of 10 times unless your kids are ugly and/or introverts.
I hope you don't think home schooling > the public. Everything less than college is totally designed for socialization. Whether you like it or not your kids are going to end up in society unless you live in a 'Compound' or out in the wilderness...in those cases I would agree as you'd better socialize them for that environment. Schools are a mean place, you should pick a safe one though...however; we all learned life lessons growing up.
My first wife I would bang in my mustang (one day I was driving my mother somewhere and she got upset that there were foot prints on my windshield in front of her seat) while I was a freshman in college delivering chinese food at night, sometimes she'd come to the bank I worked at and we'd sneak into an empty office or drive somewhere. She was a home schooled student until high school and private christian high schooled until I met her. Had to do bible study weekly, choir, cheer, etc. Her parent's found out one day and I had to tell them I was not the one that made her do anything, she was already with another guy and besides even she wasn't I was not forcing her to do anything and I totally attacked them back on the fact that she would mention "My parent's would so hate this...".
I had to deal with 'house dates' only (we would sneak out later or she'd say she was practicing with a friend). We had to watch TV with the family and could not even hold hands (I was 4.5 years older than her, which I thought was really 2-3 years. She told me she was older and her parent's I was younger, since she was home schooled she was ahead of others...I thought she was a Senior, but she was a Junior). One day we took all the pillows in the house and made a mountain to the ceiling between us on the couch. We both felt bad as her mother came out to check on us (her mother would give us free time by saying things like 'oh...I have to do .... please be good'. Her mom was a saint and everyone loved her, she died of cancer though not even mid 40's )...anyway she came out and saw our pillow tower and started crying. She told us she was not trying to keep us apart just not making mistakes....we both just laughed at her. Looking back we were jerks.
It's easy to keep your kids in the dark for a while, but once they get to around 15-16 they start picking up stuff anyway...even younger for those in public schools, but more or less people act on that information about the same time.
What most people need to get over is that sex is part of a healthy person's life and if consensual there is nothing wrong with it. I find most kids that don't get that included in growing up are the one's that end up pregnant/getting someone pregnant or worst (Herpes, HPV, AIDS).
I grew up in a healthy family. My dad had a home alone night with me when I was about 12-13. He brought up sex and babies and didn't sugar coat it. He told me how sex was a good and bad thing.
This was back in the 80's, I was born in 1971.
He talked about the pill and how that's great once you know a girl, but until you know she is on them and does not have anything, wear something...even then wear something. He said if you end up with a lot of women you will find catching something is a lot easier than getting them pregnant.
If you get a chick pregnant though, just know that will change your life forever....
I learned and I have had a great life.
Experience is a great thing IMHO. I would never marry a virgin, I actually never deflowered anyone through intercourse, one I did through manual stuff...but I couldn't get her alone enough to complete it...each time I wouldn't do it because I knew they were looking for a fairy tale and I was just looking to have them. I would want her to know that everything about me is something she has measured up already against others.
I am in my 30's now, turning 36 this year. I know so many since late 20 that were high school sweet hearts divorcing because of affairs...a lot of times both were doing them.
This only really applies to those that get out there, are attractive (attractive is <> Brad Pitt or Gisele, to me that's just good looking...it's personality mainly, I have known guys and girls that you post a picture up on and they would have no game. They go to a club, bar, grocery store, concert, etc and pull in the hottest and fun people. They weren't rich either always. People want to be entertained, this is why movies and tv are so popular...I like interaction, main reason I post here...if I could be surrounded by real people 24/7 you'd never see a post unless I was looking for something to buy)
To me, sex and interacting with your SO is the best entertainment you can find.