Passing a piss test

[nonameo]

just fill your cup with tap water from the faucet, or dip it in the toilet.

 

[bobdole369]

Start by not smoking pot. Wait a month, pass the test. You'll be smarter and your wallet slightly heavier.

Most detox stuff works like this:

Urine contains a certain amount of creatine per volume. The first part of a urinalysls measures the creatine level. If its too low - the sample is marked as suspect.

The next part of the test measures for metabolites and whatnot. You can easily pass this part having just puffed a huge marley by drinking a shit-ton of water up to the moment of the test. Its a simple pass/fail with a level. If below you pass, if above you fail.

Combine drinking a shit-ton of water with something that increases the creatine level - wham - passed test. Don't count on it, and nothing I've said here is real. It's all fictional.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

LOL you make it sound like he's giving away his freedom of choice and free will, when it's nothing more than just abstaining for a while. be a good sheep and comply. bahahahahh. be more dramatic.

I'm just saying I wouldn't change what I do in my home for the sake of some money making scheme which is all this is. If they really wanted to know what you were doing they would submit you to a blood and hair analysis. Urine tests are a scam plain and simple.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

Smoking da herb is now beginning to interfere with your ability to live a responsible young adult life. When it's getting in the way that is when it's a problem.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Smoking da herb is now beginning to interfere with your ability to live a responsible young adult life. When it's getting in the way that is when it's a problem.

no. he is fine. The bullshit test has got to go.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

I'm just saying I wouldn't change what I do in my home for the sake of some money making scheme which is all this is. If they really wanted to know what you were doing they would submit you to a blood and hair analysis. Urine tests are a scam plain and simple.

How is that a money making scheme? Your employer pays out of their pocket for the tests. Not all employers do hair samples because they know at some point most people tried weed.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

How is that a money making scheme? Your employer pays out of their pocket for the tests. Not all employers do hair samples because they know at some point most people tried weed.

55 million emloyees take drug tests per year. calculate lost work time x the cost of the test and tell me there isn't money in this chirade? Regardless of who is paying for it there is simply no benefit.

As an employer if you are going to be effective the testing has to be random and on going.

Between false positives and false negatives, and every other way there is to scam the test it is completely useless. The only idiots that will fail are absolute crackheads that don't have half a brain to figure out how easily the test can be passed(abstaining or otherwise) These crackheads should have been weeded out in the interview phase anyways.

 

[dsity]

lots of water, and running

 

[Young Grasshopper]

just piss thru a used coffee filter.

will this work?

 

[Paktu]

The majority of low level jobs don't require a drug test, generally it's only in places where you're driving a car (testing gets them a discount on insurance I think) or operating machinery. If you don't want to stop smoking pot, then just apply at places that don't test. You mentioned you're in school now, why don't you get a student job at your university?

 

[Lotheron]

drugs are bad, mmkay?

 

[amdhunter]

Spit in your pee.

 

[Kirby]

will this work?

Goddamn, you might as well not even try, I don't think you have the mental capacity to do a job anyway.

 

[Ausm]

will this work?

yeah just Duct tape the filter on your dick.

 

[SunnyD]

will this work?

Yup.

(If you're trying to make piss-flavored coffee.)

 

[mikej007]

ATOT paging Dr ZaneJohnson...

Surprised it took someone this long to post that...

 

[SunnyD]

Nominating for epic (stupid) thread of the year.

 

[syrillus]

will this work?

It will work, but you have to leave the used coffee grinds in the filter. You see, the high starch content of the endosperm (which is what makes up the majority of the coffee bean) fueled by the ~1-2.5% caffeine concentration will absorb enough of the THC from your urine so that any that's left will be only...you know what? it's easier just to call you an idiot.

 

[xochi]

There are other forums on the intranets that have the answers you are looking for.

 

[umbrella39]

There are other forums on the intranets that have the answers you are looking for.

This. Search for substitution or dilution.

 

[SacrosanctFiend]

55 million emloyees take drug tests per year. calculate lost work time x the cost of the test and tell me there isn't money in this chirade? Regardless of who is paying for it there is simply no benefit.

As an employer if you are going to be effective the testing has to be random and on going.

Between false positives and false negatives, and every other way there is to scam the test it is completely useless. The only idiots that will fail are absolute crackheads that don't have half a brain to figure out how easily the test can be passed(abstaining or otherwise) These crackheads should have been weeded out in the interview phase anyways.

We do 1% of our workforce, randomly, on an ongoing, monthly basis. The cost of the test is $35, with MRO review for all positives. Lost worktime is 10min/Ee @ an average wage of $15.67/hr (or $1.57/Ee). That equates to about $62.80/mo. in lost worktime and $1400/mo in testing cost, or about $17,500/yr. We save about 3x more than that in direct premium reduction. This does not include savings from reduction in lost work time, absenteeism, quality issues, etc.

 

[Cogman]

It can happen but its no true in all cases. I've done my share and I've never seen a temp strip on the cup. If you are using the urinator it is close enough to your body to get around this anyways. Everytime I've been they don't even look at the sample until minutes afterward so its already cooled quite a bit.

So, by your logic, your a rebel if you fail a urine test and a blind sheep if you pass a urine test? A test that YOU don't pay for.

Tell me, how is it "Sticking it to the man" to fail a urine test? You get fired, your out of work. And you have to potential to be unemployable if your next location of work finds out that you failed a drug test.

Yes, I think I see now how failing a drug test will correct a corrupt drug testing system...

 

[IceBergSLiM]

We do 1% of our workforce, randomly, on an ongoing, monthly basis. The cost of the test is $35, with MRO review for all positives. Lost worktime is 10min/Ee @ an average wage of $15.67/hr (or $1.57/Ee). That equates to about $62.80/mo. in lost worktime and $1400/mo in testing cost, or about $17,500/yr. We save about 3x more than that in direct premium reduction. This does not include savings from reduction in lost work time, absenteeism, quality issues, etc.

this is a proper implementation. the scam is the pre-employment non-sense.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

So, by your logic, your a rebel if you fail a urine test and a blind sheep if you pass a urine test? A test that YOU don't pay for.

Tell me, how is it "Sticking it to the man" to fail a urine test? You get fired, your out of work. And you have to potential to be unemployable if your next location of work finds out that you failed a drug test.

Yes, I think I see now how failing a drug test will correct a corrupt drug testing system...

you should probably read the whole thread. I've made my views pretty clear and they aren't anywhere near your interpretation

 

[SunnyD]

this is a proper implementation. the scam is the pre-employment non-sense.

Why is it a scam in the pre-employment sense if they're filtering out potentially years worth of lost productivity from a potential abusive employee for the equivalent of a couple hundred dollars? Onboarding a new employee generally costs a company many thousands of dollars. Employing the right employee for the job recoups those initial monies for that opening in short order.