Passing a piss test

[PepePeru]

Why is it a scam in the pre-employment sense if they're filtering out potentially years worth of lost productivity from a potential abusive employee for the equivalent of a couple hundred dollars? Onboarding a new employee generally costs a company many thousands of dollars. Employing the right employee for the job recoups those initial monies for that opening in short order.

You're making an assumption that everyone that smokes weed is unproductive or causes troubles at work. This is not always the case.

You have two applicants, one who gets shit-faced every night of the week, comes into work hung over and you have a guy who tokes up on a weekend and, so, you hire the alcoholic and then flaunt the effectiveness of your pre-employment screening.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Why is it a scam in the pre-employment sense if they're filtering out potentially years worth of lost productivity from a potential abusive employee for the equivalent of a couple hundred dollars? Onboarding a new employee generally costs a company many thousands of dollars. Employing the right employee for the job recoups those initial monies for that opening in short order.

As previously stated:

Between false positives and false negatives, and every other way there is to scam the test it is completely useless. The only idiots that will fail are absolute crackheads that don't have half a brain to figure out how easily the test can be passed(abstaining or otherwise) These crackheads should have been weeded out in the interview phase anyways.

 

[wwswimming]

So, I'm sure this thread has been done a million times before, but what's one more? I've been in school without a job for awhile, but I wanted to find some bullshit, low-pressure type job over the holidays to get some extra cash. I've just started smoking herb again, so it's gonna be a problem if I'm asked to piss in a cup. How do I beat a drug test? Keep in mind I've applied to a few places, so I really could be called in at any time; it's not like I know when these are gonna take place.

any particular variety that you like ?

you can't beat a drug test if they watch you pee. well, theoretically you could, if you were willing to have a tube surgically implanted. the drug-testing places i used for a pre-employment screen and then a legal reason both had a male and a female employee on site for a reason - they want to watch the (presumably) yellow liquid exit the urethra.

maybe there's some drug testing places where they don't watch you pee.

if it's hair drug testing, you have to shave and then stop using until the test. of course that will raise eyebrows and may invite more scrutiny. they could ask for head hair or pubic hair. if you don't know which they'll be asking you, you have to shave both if you're planning to not have traces of THC related chemicals in your hair.

the pee tests can detect marijuana use in the last 3 to 30 days. it is possible to flush your system and get lucky, but you can't plan on it.

look at the bright side. you'll enjoy your herb that much more after a period of abstinence !

any particular variety that you like ?

 

[Mide]

Stop smoking weed?

 

[IceBergSLiM]

any particular variety that you like ?

you can't beat a drug test if they watch you pee. well, theoretically you could, if you were willing to have a tube surgically implanted. the drug-testing places i used for a pre-employment screen and then a legal reason both had a male and a female employee on site for a reason - they want to watch the (presumably) yellow liquid exit the urethra.

maybe there's some drug testing places where they don't watch you pee.

99.9% of the time nobody is watching. Even for probation and parole the door is open with someone observing but not actually looking at your pee hole.

 

[40Hands]

You're making an assumption that everyone that smokes weed is unproductive or causes troubles at work. This is not always the case.

You have two applicants, one who gets shit-faced every night of the week, comes into work hung over and you have a guy who tokes up on a weekend and, so, you hire the alcoholic and then flaunt the effectiveness of your pre-employment screening.

THIS.

Blanket drug tests are a load of shit. Also, the idea that a companies insurance can give them a discount because of testing is another steaming pile of feces.

I wonder how my company has made it though 42 years without drug testing?!

I guess insurance companies should start testing for other "unhealthy" substances and giving more discounts, right?

 

[Paktu]

THIS.

Blanket drug tests are a load of shit. Also, the idea that a companies insurance can give them a discount because of testing is another steaming pile of feces.

I wonder how my company has made it though 42 years without drug testing?!

I guess insurance companies should start testing for other "unhealthy" substances and giving more discounts, right?

I think drug tests are stupid too...BUT, insurance companies are not the morality police. If their actuaries didn't have statistical proof that drug testing reduces workplace accidents, they wouldn't offer discounts to companies that have them.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

I think drug tests are stupid too...BUT, insurance companies are not the morality police. If their actuaries didn't have statistical proof that drug testing reduces workplace accidents, they wouldn't offer discounts to companies that have them.

unless the drug testing companies were lining there pockets. :hmm:

 

[SacrosanctFiend]

You're making an assumption that everyone that smokes weed is unproductive or causes troubles at work. This is not always the case.

You have two applicants, one who gets shit-faced every night of the week, comes into work hung over and you have a guy who tokes up on a weekend and, so, you hire the alcoholic and then flaunt the effectiveness of your pre-employment screening.

You're making an assumption that companies only test for THC. I'll tell you that the majority of our postive tests are not for THC, but for amphetamines or methamphetamines. You better damn well believe that has an affect on performance and safety.

 

[sourceninja]

Move to CA, get a license and tell them it's medically necessary.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Move to CA, get a license and tell them it's medically necessary.

better yet, stay where you are, easily cheat the test and keep your medical issues to yourself.

 

[40Hands]

better yet, stay where you are, easily cheat the test and keep your medical issues to yourself.

Yeah this idea is probably a better idea. No need to let your employer know that you partake. Even though it's medicinal, there's a stigma attached that some just can't get past. They might go gunning for you at the slightest hiccup in your performance.

 

[DivideBYZero]

Yes be a good sheep and comply. It is the only way!

I probably done more drugs in the past than you can fit in your Garage, but that wouldn't get me through a piss test, would it?

 

[Leros]

I failed a drug test once because I could not pee with somebody looking at my penis the whole time. I don't even do drugs.

 

[AlienCraft]

THC metabolites are expelled via the matabolizing of the fat in which they are stored, in the large intestine, where water is also finally absorbed into the body, thus it's appearance in urine.
Since THC is stored in fat cells, excersizing can cause those fat cells to release their load, and it is possible for one's THC level to rise after excersizing even if no smoking is occuring. That happened to me. It was awesome :rolleyes; to show detectable levels 60+ days after cessation of intake, just based on legacy use and a "Boot Camp" type excersize program I was doing at the time. It finally did taper off, but it was there, even on the cheap drugstore type, instant read test.
If you do excersize, make sure you do the fiber thing regularly. Trust me on this one.
My doc said that loading up on fat heavy foods will also serve to "bury" the older THCfat and reduce that subsequent THCfat level in the LI and by extension, the urine, BUT only temporarily so if you have some advance warning, that may cloak that use.
In order to reduce the amount of THCfat present in the LI, one can increase one's fiber intake in order to more throughly vacate that area. Increased water intake helps in flushing the bodysystem in total.
As stated previously, creatine levels are checked to avoid simple water loading and visual inspection of color is also considered in rejecting a sample.
Increasing ones intake of multi-vitamin ( B ) will help to adjust color away from the clear which is a cue to the test giver that water loading may be occuring. You could also eat foods that help that aspect.
NOTE- A properly hydrated body will not be showing a lot of yellow in the urine stream. Heavy color can indicate a dehydrated or more seriopus medical condition or other metabolites from other foods / drinks (aspargus / coffee for example)
The first pee of the day is the one you do not want to have tested. You want to have voided yourself fully before any testing.
Learn what is "normal" for your body and do not let some non-medically trained, hourly employee try to hold some arbitrary standard as "normal" over your head. Learn the procedures for the testing procedure and adjust your behavior accordingly. Defend your clear pee!
Good luck with that.

BTW...to the larger discussion....
Pre-employment drug testing is bullshit for most occupations. Truck/Bus/Commercial Drivers, Heavy Equipment / Train Operators, Law Enforcement, there are exceptions, I'll grant you.
Give me a shop full of pot heads over ones drunk, or a bunch of "week end" coke-sters, anyday.
Tweakers still suck, though, no matter how much or for what reason.
Meth is a Terrorist Weapon System.

 

[Mxylplyx]

If you are a daily smoker, go to your local gnc and straight up ask them what they have to help you pass. If you have not been smoking daily, or for that long, you'll probably be pass earlier than you would think. Buy a piss test from a drug store to find out before hand.

 

[Suspicious-Teach8788]

why is it legit here to talk about cheating the system and hiding something illegal? Hmmm?

 

[arcenite]

Um. Stop smoking for a week, drink a ton of water and cranberry and apply to a job? Is it really that hard?

It's harder than just not smoking!

 

[crownjules]

why is it legit here to talk about cheating the system and hiding something illegal? Hmmm?

Not a fan of free speech huh?

 

[Jadow]

The majority of low level jobs don't require a drug test, generally it's only in places where you're driving a car (testing gets them a discount on insurance I think) or operating machinery. If you don't want to stop smoking pot, then just apply at places that don't test. You mentioned you're in school now, why don't you get a student job at your university?

wrong, most retail chains that have low level employees, WMT, TGT, etc... require a drug test

 

[SacrosanctFiend]

Move to CA, get a license and tell them it's medically necessary.

They can still term you.

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

They can still term you.

Yup. We termed a guy not too long ago that had a prescription for weed. Just because you have a prescription doesn't make it legal in the workplace.

 

[SociallyChallenged]

Start by not smoking pot. Wait a month, pass the test. You'll be smarter and your wallet slightly heavier.

Most detox stuff works like this:

Urine contains a certain amount of creatine per volume. The first part of a urinalysls measures the creatine level. If its too low - the sample is marked as suspect.

The next part of the test measures for metabolites and whatnot. You can easily pass this part having just puffed a huge marley by drinking a shit-ton of water up to the moment of the test. Its a simple pass/fail with a level. If below you pass, if above you fail.

Combine drinking a shit-ton of water with something that increases the creatine level - wham - passed test. Don't count on it, and nothing I've said here is real. It's all fictional.

It actually tests for creatinINE. It's a byproduct of creatine. I'm sure you could up the levels with supplemented creatine monohydrate.

 

[CptCrunch]

if you use it regularly, you're screwed on a piss test. If you dont use it for a week before the test, you should pass the piss test.

Now, if the company does a hair test, your boned for up to 4 months after the last time you smoked.

 

[Slapstick]

I love reading all the misinformation in this thread. All I will say after 16+ years of experience is that the only sure way to pass a drug screen is to not do drugs. Other than that hope the person collecting really doesn't give a damn about it and isn't that observant of the collection and you may pass by adulterating the sample.

I've seen all the clean out kits, the wizzonater, the unrinater and heard every excuse from excersizing will release long stored THC to it must be the Advil, Sudafed or your choice of OTC drug excuse ever invented but the bottom line, no one and I repeat no one, has ever beat a GC/MS confirmation and that's the only one that really counts.