You STILL don't get it do you??? Why the hell is it HER responsibility to educate herself about Vietnamese culture? Everything YOU know about your culture, your grandmother and her struggles etc. was related to you by your parents. Reading your summary of the documentary is enough to tell me that her foster parents didn't do a damn thing to promote these cultural aspects in their household...and the fact that she told friends growing up not to tell anyone she was half-Vietnamese further shows she was made to feel 'ashamed' of this well BEFORE she ever went to Vietnam. You asked earlier what kind of fantasyland she was living in where she could forget about her biological parents--that fantasyland is the US of A!!Originally posted by: Dezign
Originally posted by: Spac3d
I completely agree with you uncJIGGA.Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
I don't blame her one bit! Seriously, Dezign and others calling her a biatch...can you at least try to put yourself in her shoes??? No one can even imagine what she's going through. Nevermind the fact that she's a product of her foster parents and shouldn't be considered 'Asian'. Having slant-eyes doesn't mean your Asian (and she probably doesn't even have those if she's mixed)...being Asian involves a radically different definition of family compared to typical American experiences, not to mention other cultural values. Would you blame the typical American 'redneck' for not wanting to be in Vietnam???
This story reminds me of my "extended family." All they care about is the gifts and money they deserve because someone in their family lives in the US.:|
As it was explained in the documentary, it is tradition and respect for those who have been fortunate enough to make it to the USA to help their family out back in Vietnam, China, etc. They don't consider it rude when they ask for money because that's how their culture is... helping out financially is expected. It isn't all they care about, but when you live in extreme poverty and your brother or sister across the ocean is buying PS2's and eating out every night, you'd hope they could spare a least a little.
Those of us in situations such as this one (residing in the USA with extended family in Asia) are very, very lucky. We are fortunate to have what we have, and should be grateful to those who did what they could so we could be here... I know that personally, my grandmother lived in poverty with her daughter, living on almost nothing so they could afford to send my father to the USA, and consequently to a better life. He has never forgotten her sacrifices and neither have I... I have extended family in China, and I send money, gifts, etc. when I can. I never feel insulted when I'm asked for money, because I know that's just how the culture is... and if I can spare it, I'll gladly give it.
I think you hit the nail on the head about repressing her memories. People who are raped as children can repress those memories only a few months after the incident...think about Heidi spending DECADES in America not in contact with her relatives.Originally posted by: atom
But according to posts, she WAS a product of Vietnam until she was 5-6. So either she repressed those memories or she deluded herself into thinking it was something totally different. It's like she was living in her own little bubble. You don't have to be raised in the culture to know what to expect when you go there. I'm about as ABC as they come, but when I went back to China a few years ago with my family for the first time I honestly wasn't that shocked at all. I expected the village my grandfather came from to be a sh!thole and well, it pretty much was.
Damn, I really wanna see this movie now.
Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
You STILL don't get it do you??? Why the hell is it HER responsibility to educate herself about Vietnamese culture? Everything YOU know about your culture, your grandmother and her struggles etc. was related to you by your parents. Reading your summary of the documentary is enough to tell me that her foster parents didn't do a damn thing to promote these cultural aspects in their household...and the fact that she told friends growing up not to tell anyone she was half-Vietnamese further shows she was made to feel 'ashamed' of this well BEFORE she ever went to Vietnam. You asked earlier what kind of fantasyland she was living in where she could forget about her biological parents--that fantasyland is the US of A!!Originally posted by: Dezign
Originally posted by: Spac3d
I completely agree with you uncJIGGA.Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
I don't blame her one bit! Seriously, Dezign and others calling her a biatch...can you at least try to put yourself in her shoes??? No one can even imagine what she's going through. Nevermind the fact that she's a product of her foster parents and shouldn't be considered 'Asian'. Having slant-eyes doesn't mean your Asian (and she probably doesn't even have those if she's mixed)...being Asian involves a radically different definition of family compared to typical American experiences, not to mention other cultural values. Would you blame the typical American 'redneck' for not wanting to be in Vietnam???
This story reminds me of my "extended family." All they care about is the gifts and money they deserve because someone in their family lives in the US.:|
As it was explained in the documentary, it is tradition and respect for those who have been fortunate enough to make it to the USA to help their family out back in Vietnam, China, etc. They don't consider it rude when they ask for money because that's how their culture is... helping out financially is expected. It isn't all they care about, but when you live in extreme poverty and your brother or sister across the ocean is buying PS2's and eating out every night, you'd hope they could spare a least a little.
Those of us in situations such as this one (residing in the USA with extended family in Asia) are very, very lucky. We are fortunate to have what we have, and should be grateful to those who did what they could so we could be here... I know that personally, my grandmother lived in poverty with her daughter, living on almost nothing so they could afford to send my father to the USA, and consequently to a better life. He has never forgotten her sacrifices and neither have I... I have extended family in China, and I send money, gifts, etc. when I can. I never feel insulted when I'm asked for money, because I know that's just how the culture is... and if I can spare it, I'll gladly give it.
This is NOT a flame. I don't blame any of you for feeling disgusted by what you've seen, and frankly I would think her views are saddening to say the least. But it is wrong to single Heidi out and call her a bitch for how she feels. If you want to blame anything, blame American culture. Blame the country that taught her its all about ME ME ME and you've gotta look out for Number 1 first. Blame capitalism. Blame the South for being so 'backwards ignorant' about anything west of the Mississippi or north of Mason-Dixon. Blame white people. But you can't blame her.
Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
You STILL don't get it do you??? Why the hell is it HER responsibility to educate herself about Vietnamese culture? Everything YOU know about your culture, your grandmother and her struggles etc. was related to you by your parents. Reading your summary of the documentary is enough to tell me that her foster parents didn't do a damn thing to promote these cultural aspects in their household...and the fact that she told friends growing up not to tell anyone she was half-Vietnamese further shows she was made to feel 'ashamed' of this well BEFORE she ever went to Vietnam. You asked earlier what kind of fantasyland she was living in where she could forget about her biological parents--that fantasyland is the US of A!!
This is NOT a flame. I don't blame any of you for feeling disgusted by what you've seen, and frankly I would think her views are saddening to say the least. But it is wrong to single Heidi out and call her a bitch for how she feels. If you want to blame anything, blame American culture. Blame the country that taught her its all about ME ME ME and you've gotta look out for Number 1 first. Blame capitalism. Blame the South for being so 'backwards ignorant' about anything west of the Mississippi or north of Mason-Dixon. Blame white people. But you can't blame her.
Everything YOU know about your culture, your grandmother and her struggles etc. was related to you by your parents.
You STILL don't get it do you??? Why the hell is it HER responsibility to educate herself about Vietnamese culture? Everything YOU know about your culture, your grandmother and her struggles etc. was related to you by your parents. Reading your summary of the documentary is enough to tell me that her foster parents didn't do a damn thing to promote these cultural aspects in their household...and the fact that she told friends growing up not to tell anyone she was half-Vietnamese further shows she was made to feel 'ashamed' of this well BEFORE she ever went to Vietnam. You asked earlier what kind of fantasyland she was living in where she could forget about her biological parents--that fantasyland is the US of A!!
This is NOT a flame. I don't blame any of you for feeling disgusted by what you've seen, and frankly I would think her views are saddening to say the least. But it is wrong to single Heidi out and call her a bitch for how she feels. If you want to blame anything, blame American culture. Blame the country that taught her its all about ME ME ME and you've gotta look out for Number 1 first. Blame capitalism. Blame the South for being so 'backwards ignorant' about anything west of the Mississippi or north of Mason-Dixon. Blame white people. But you can't blame her.
Maybe your family doesnt demand as much money as my extended family does. Every single one of them wants money for this or that. Some of my family asks because they want to hire another cook or get another servant. Then the others that ask for money live in rural as fukc India where they only have power a few hours a day, dont have paved roads, dont have indoor plumbing, etc.Originally posted by: Dezign
Originally posted by: Spac3d
I completely agree with you uncJIGGA.Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
I don't blame her one bit! Seriously, Dezign and others calling her a biatch...can you at least try to put yourself in her shoes??? No one can even imagine what she's going through. Nevermind the fact that she's a product of her foster parents and shouldn't be considered 'Asian'. Having slant-eyes doesn't mean your Asian (and she probably doesn't even have those if she's mixed)...being Asian involves a radically different definition of family compared to typical American experiences, not to mention other cultural values. Would you blame the typical American 'redneck' for not wanting to be in Vietnam???
This story reminds me of my "extended family." All they care about is the gifts and money they deserve because someone in their family lives in the US.:|
As it was explained in the documentary, it is tradition and respect for those who have been fortunate enough to make it to the USA to help their family out back in Vietnam, China, etc. They don't consider it rude when they ask for money because that's how their culture is... helping out financially is expected. It isn't all they care about, but when you live in extreme poverty and your brother or sister across the ocean is buying PS2's and eating out every night, you'd hope they could spare a least a little.
You STILL don't get it do you??? Why the hell is it HER responsibility to educate herself about Vietnamese culture? Everything YOU know about your culture, your grandmother and her struggles etc. was related to you by your parents. Reading your summary of the documentary is enough to tell me that her foster parents didn't do a damn thing to promote these cultural aspects in their household...and the fact that she told friends growing up not to tell anyone she was half-Vietnamese further shows she was made to feel 'ashamed' of this well BEFORE she ever went to Vietnam. You asked earlier what kind of fantasyland she was living in where she could forget about her biological parents--that fantasyland is the US of A!!
This is NOT a flame. I don't blame any of you for feeling disgusted by what you've seen, and frankly I would think her views are saddening to say the least. But it is wrong to single Heidi out and call her a bitch for how she feels. If you want to blame anything, blame American culture. Blame the country that taught her its all about ME ME ME and you've gotta look out for Number 1 first. Blame capitalism. Blame the South for being so 'backwards ignorant' about anything west of the Mississippi or north of Mason-Dixon. Blame white people. But you can't blame her.
Originally posted by: Infos
Missed this show.
Very sad....
she should realize that her mother made the ultimate sacrifice-
she gave up her daughter because she knew it would be a better life for her
friggin ingrate
I have seen a number of docs re this scenario and the ones I've seen are usually an uplifting experience
I guess her foster parents influenced her attitude quite a bit with their deny your heritage advice
and attitude.
Originally posted by: Spac3d
Maybe your family doesnt demand as much money as my extended family does. Every single one of them wants money for this or that. Some of my family asks because they want to hire another cook or get another servant. Then the others that ask for money live in rural as fukc India where they only have power a few hours a day, dont have paved roads, dont have indoor plumbing, etc.Originally posted by: Dezign
Originally posted by: Spac3d
I completely agree with you uncJIGGA.Originally posted by: uncJIGGA
I don't blame her one bit! Seriously, Dezign and others calling her a biatch...can you at least try to put yourself in her shoes??? No one can even imagine what she's going through. Nevermind the fact that she's a product of her foster parents and shouldn't be considered 'Asian'. Having slant-eyes doesn't mean your Asian (and she probably doesn't even have those if she's mixed)...being Asian involves a radically different definition of family compared to typical American experiences, not to mention other cultural values. Would you blame the typical American 'redneck' for not wanting to be in Vietnam???
This story reminds me of my "extended family." All they care about is the gifts and money they deserve because someone in their family lives in the US.:|
As it was explained in the documentary, it is tradition and respect for those who have been fortunate enough to make it to the USA to help their family out back in Vietnam, China, etc. They don't consider it rude when they ask for money because that's how their culture is... helping out financially is expected. It isn't all they care about, but when you live in extreme poverty and your brother or sister across the ocean is buying PS2's and eating out every night, you'd hope they could spare a least a little.
I didn't see the documentary, but I can see how she is relating to those strangers. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth when your family treats you like that ... it is shocking enough to go to some rural part of a third world country... let alone deal with your family.
That was pretty audacious of you. Way to judge, Einstein. In actuality, very little of what I know about my culture came from my parents because of a language barrier... I know the basics, but they never went into details. I took it upon MYSELF to do my research... through books, through talking to other people in my situation, through talking to my parents' friends. I took it upon myself to school myself about my culture and my family's history, because I felt the need to know and respect my roots. My motivation wasn't from my parents, it was from looking in the mirror and wanting to know about my family's history, my culture's history, MY history. It was an inherit need for knowledge, and an internal motivation to educate myself...
But who taught you that self-education and knowledge were important pursuits in life?? Sure, your parents might not have 'explicitly' demanded this of you, but we all know Asian parents stress education, grades, studying etc. more than the average American parents (and moreso than average Southern parents--that's NOT just a stereotype!) I'm going to make another assumption so don't shoot me--but I think both of you are full-blooded Asians, and not mixed blood like Heidi. In her mind, she comes from whatever American town she grew up in, and her foster parents and their family are her background.Originally posted by: Moralpanic
That was pretty audacious of you. Way to judge, Einstein. In actuality, very little of what I know about my culture came from my parents because of a language barrier... I know the basics, but they never went into details. I took it upon MYSELF to do my research... through books, through talking to other people in my situation, through talking to my parents' friends. I took it upon myself to school myself about my culture and my family's history, because I felt the need to know and respect my roots. My motivation wasn't from my parents, it was from looking in the mirror and wanting to know about my family's history, my culture's history, MY history. It was an inherit need for knowledge, and an internal motivation to educate myself...
We're very similar. Everything my parents taught me about my own culture, i could literally fill maybe 2 pages full. Everything else, i learned from my own pursuit.
Originally posted by: brjames
I'm also hearing a lot of complaints against the father for not raising her in Vietnamese traditions. Well why should he? Was she raised in Vietnam? Is he in Vietnam? If he imparted his own culture to her and not some culture foreign to him, I can hardly blame him, she is still half-white, not just half-vietnamese.
Originally posted by: brjames
You all are incredibly arrogant. No person here was in that situation. It was an extreme culture shock which she was unprepared for, and I can't blame her for her reaction. She definitly could have reacted with more grace, but when your shocked you dont react in the best way.
And don't blame her for her unrealistic expectations of her mother either, its very typical in human nature to want to meet the person who gave birth to you. My sister was adopted and she eventually wanted to meet her birth mother again. They even lived together for a while, until my sister realized that her birth mother was a complete, selfish ditz and kicked her out.
I'm also hearing a lot of complaints against the father for not raising her in Vietnamese traditions. Well why should he? Was she raised in Vietnam? Is he in Vietnam? If he imparted his own culture to her and not some culture foreign to him, I can hardly blame him, she is still half-white, not just half-vietnamese.