POLL: Do parents have the right to discipline their kids by spanking them?

[mrrman]

Absolutely NOT...I think is wrong to hit kids ....there are better ways to deal with discipline. I never hit my kids and never will plus what kind of message does this give.

 

[Kipper]

Originally posted by: DougK62

Originally posted by: MadCowDisease

Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Absolutely.

You can't use logic with a small child but they CAN understand "When I do that my ass hurts for a few minutes."

Viper GTS

I don't know what kind of kids you hang out with but I haven't found this to be the case.

So you can logically reason with a 4 year old? I call shens.

You'd be surprised. Four year olds understand more than people give them credit for. Part of the problem is that people think they're completely clueless. Besides, I don't quite understand the logic behind this. If they aren't capable of "logical reasoning" as you claim, what makes you think they'll be able to draw a link between pain and something they did?

The majority of child misbehavior isn't from the kids but from the people around them. The best way to stop it is not to hit but to look at yourself and see what sort of example you're setting. That said, my mom smacked me around for a few years and to this day, I don't appreciate it one bit.

Edit: I know a number of Quakers who pursuant to their nonviolence beliefs, don't hit their children. These kids are the same ones who go to top universities and colleges. Go figure. There ARE better ways out there, it's just that some people are a.) too lazy, or b.) too ignorant to figure them out.

 

[spidey07]

of course.

they own them.

 

[MX2]

What a bunch of crap. Anyone who feels the need to spank or hit their kids needs help. All you fvck sticks out there who use this type of discipline are just bags of sh|t.

 

[Twista]

yes

 

[BurnItDwn]

They certainly do. Though they don't have the right to beat the hell outta them.

 

[Viper GTS]

Originally posted by: MadCowDisease

Originally posted by: DougK62

Originally posted by: MadCowDisease

Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Absolutely.

You can't use logic with a small child but they CAN understand "When I do that my ass hurts for a few minutes."

Viper GTS

I don't know what kind of kids you hang out with but I haven't found this to be the case.

So you can logically reason with a 4 year old? I call shens.

You'd be surprised. Four year olds understand more than people give them credit for. Part of the problem is that people think they're completely clueless. Besides, I don't quite understand the logic behind this. If they aren't capable of "logical reasoning" as you claim, what makes you think they'll be able to draw a link between pain and something they did?

The majority of child misbehavior isn't from the kids but from the people around them. The best way to stop it is not to hit but to look at yourself and see what sort of example you're setting. That said, my mom smacked me around for a few years and to this day, I don't appreciate it one bit.

Edit: I know a number of Quakers who pursuant to their nonviolence beliefs, don't hit their children. These kids are the same ones who go to top universities and colleges. Go figure. There ARE better ways out there, it's just that some people are a.) too lazy, or b.) too ignorant to figure them out.

The problem is not simply a matter of communication & understanding, a four year old has a much different world view & values than an adult. They are not on the same level as an adult, & should not be treated as such.

Viper GTS

 

[Kipper]

Originally posted by: Viper GTS

The problem is not simply a matter of communication & understanding, a four year old has a much different world view & values than an adult. They are not on the same level as an adult, & should not be treated as such.

Viper GTS

So you have to hit them because their "worldviews are different?" :roll:

C'mon...you can do better than that.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: MX2times
What a bunch of crap. Anyone who feels the need to spank or hit their kids needs help. All you fvck sticks out there who use this type of discipline are just bags of sh|t.

guess you didn't receive discipline as a youngster, because my kids would never use such verbal abuse.

 

[DougK62]

Originally posted by: MadCowDisease
You'd be surprised. Four year olds understand more than people give them credit for. Part of the problem is that people think they're completely clueless. Besides, I don't quite understand the logic behind this. If they aren't capable of "logical reasoning" as you claim, what makes you think they'll be able to draw a link between pain and something they did?

LOL - not wanting pain has NOTHING to do with logic. Any mammal will respond to pain. A stupid lab rat will learn to not do something if you shock it when it does. Does that mean the lab rat is capable of logical reasoning?

The majority of child misbehavior isn't from the kids but from the people around them. The best way to stop it is not to hit but to look at yourself and see what sort of example you're setting. That said, my mom smacked me around for a few years and to this day, I don't appreciate it one bit.

You're exactly right. You have to look at what kind of example you set. What does that have to do with spanking? It's being a good parent when you aren't spanking that has the lasting effects. Maybe that's where your mom failed.

Edit: I know a number of Quakers who pursuant to their nonviolence beliefs, don't hit their children. These kids are the same ones who go to top universities and colleges. Go figure. There ARE better ways out there, it's just that some people are a.) too lazy, or b.) too ignorant to figure them out.

There are a lot of different methods to raising kids that are just fine. All I'm saying is that an occassional spanking is one of them. Implying that someone is lazy or ignorant because they choose a different technique then what you'd use is just...well...lazy and ignorant.

 

[Red Dawn]

No spanking sucks. Holding their heads under in a bucket of water works much better!

 

[nakedfrog]

Of course they do. I do hope that any of you claiming that "only bad parents spank their kids" have kids, otherwise kindly STFU.
As mentioned, it loses effectiveness with age. I'm pretty sure it's been well over a year since I spanked my 9 year old, and probably spanked her less than ten times total. I've given my 2 year old a light rap on the bum, but she hasn't done anything to merit a genuine spanking yet. But if she needs one, she'll get it.

 

[KarenMarie]

I am a little unclear on what you are trying to ask...

Your topic thread asks about the legal right, while your poll suggests opinion.

In any case... I am a firm believer in spanking. Not in anger, not above the waist.
But there are times when all the ..grounding, sitting in the corner, no teevee, lectures... etc... do no have 1/10th of the desired effect as a good swift swat in the ass.

 

[MX2]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: MX2times
What a bunch of crap. Anyone who feels the need to spank or hit their kids needs help. All you fvck sticks out there who use this type of discipline are just bags of sh|t.

guess you didn't receive discipline as a youngster, because my kids would never use such verbal abuse.

Sometimes thats the only way to get your point across with ADULTS

 

[Kipper]

Originally posted by: DougK62

Originally posted by: MadCowDisease
You'd be surprised. Four year olds understand more than people give them credit for. Part of the problem is that people think they're completely clueless. Besides, I don't quite understand the logic behind this. If they aren't capable of "logical reasoning" as you claim, what makes you think they'll be able to draw a link between pain and something they did?

LOL - not wanting pain has NOTHING to do with logic. Any mammal will respond to pain. A stupid lab rat will learn to not do something if you shock it when it does. Does that mean the lab rat is capable of logical reasoning?

The majority of child misbehavior isn't from the kids but from the people around them. The best way to stop it is not to hit but to look at yourself and see what sort of example you're setting. That said, my mom smacked me around for a few years and to this day, I don't appreciate it one bit.

You're exactly right. You have to look at what kind of example you set. What does that have to do with spanking? It's being a good parent when you aren't spanking that has the lasting effects. Maybe that's where your mom failed.

Edit: I know a number of Quakers who pursuant to their nonviolence beliefs, don't hit their children. These kids are the same ones who go to top universities and colleges. Go figure. There ARE better ways out there, it's just that some people are a.) too lazy, or b.) too ignorant to figure them out.

There are a lot of different methods to raising kids that are just fine. All I'm saying is that an occassional spanking is one of them. Implying that someone is lazy or ignorant because they choose a different technique then what you'd use is just...well...lazy and ignorant.

You misunderstand my point entirely. I'm afraid I don't quite understand the point of smacking your kid around, if what you're telling me is true. I thought the purpose was to TEACH for past "wrongdoing," rather than simply condition them to be afraid of you - but it seems from what you're saying that all it accomplishes is prevents behavior the parent finds annoying, rather than solving the actual source of the problem/misbehavior. THIS is what is lazy and ignorant. Instead of trying to actively solve the problem, you target the effects, which solves absolutely nothing.

Edit: Incidentally, if you are being an excellent example for your kids in the first place a parent wouldn't have to result to physical force - there are more civil ways to handle an occasional problem.

 

[NittanyLAncer]

Children should be spanked. I feel when done right, it serves as a valuable re-enfocement tool. You positively reenforce bad behavior and punish bad bahavior.

People who think of "spanking" as hurting a child are sadly mistaken. There is a LARGE difference between spanking a child and beating them. There's even a difference between spanking a child and just hitting them. I was spanked and I was spanked HARD. But it was ALWAYS on my rump, and I always recovered in a few minutes. It was ALWAYS with my parent's hand. I'll tell you it highly depends on the circumstances.

The SECOND you pull out a belt, it's more of a beating than anything else.

My younger siblings weren't spanked, since my parents decided that spanking was "wrong" by someone at church. My younger siblings were NEVER as well-behaved as my older brother and I, and they were never under control throughout their teenage and young adulthood years. I wasn't spanked after the age of 10 or so, although I did get the occasional smack on the head when I did something exceptionally stupid.

Spanking sets a CLEAR chain of dominance. It makes it CLEAR that the PARENT is in charge. To this day, my mother is in charge of me and my older brother, because she always has been. Those ideas you learned at a young age stay with you.

You CANNOT logicially reason with a 4 year old. They DO have the ability to deal with abstract thought, but they don't have the world view, experience and background experience to figure it all out.

I think you'll find this divided across the lines of people spanked and those who weren't.

spanking != beating

 

[jjones]

I long for the days when a father could kill their undisciplined child.

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: mrrman
Absolutely NOT...I think is wrong to hit kids ....there are better ways to deal with discipline. I never hit my kids and never will plus what kind of message does this give.

HhahahAHahahAHhAhAHhahahAHhAhAHhAHahAHHhA

Sorry, but is this a joke? This will work for certain kids, definetely, but not all. Make that 90%. You have kids?? I quess you were lucky enough not to get an obnoxious one, because doing what your suggesting here would cause you severe trauma if you did. They would be running rampant around the house like animals.

 

[robertcloud]

you don't have the right to assault anyone else. Why do you think you have the right to assault your children?

 

[czech09]

Yes

 

[AcidicFury]

Absolutely. There is a difference between discipline and child abuse. It only helped me, because I realized never to do something like that again. Besides, with all the things we now allow kids to have in their rooms, what effect does timeout have?

 

[globalcitizen]

Pure child psychology. Use a carrot and a stick. If you do good, something good happens to you. If you do bad, something bad will happen to you. Once you get older, you start understanding what is right and wrong and parents can explain to them easily. Early on, they do not have that capability.

Btw, I am not talking like hitting until they have grevious injury, I am talking like the ear pull momma used to inflict if I made trouble.

 

[conjur]

Spare the rod, spoil the child.


I only spanked my kids when they were in physical danger or were throwing things around that could cause damage to something or someone. And, even then, it was usually just a little swat on their diaper-padded butt. I had it a lot worse when I was a kid!!

 

[torpid]

Originally posted by: NittanyLAncer
People who think of "spanking" as hurting a child are sadly mistaken. There is a LARGE

By definition doesn't pain hurt? Look up hurt, pretty sure it's going to have pain in the definition most of the time (did on m-w.com).

My younger siblings weren't spanked, since my parents decided that spanking was "wrong" by someone at church. My younger siblings were NEVER as well-behaved as my older brother and I, and they were never under control throughout their teenage and young adulthood years. I wasn't spanked after the age of 10 or so, although I did get the occasional smack on the head when I did something exceptionally stupid.

That's not all that scientific. My guess is that you will find that most children who were 3rd+ kids in a family are not as well behaved because the parents don't spend as much time or effort raising them for various reasons.

Spanking sets a CLEAR chain of dominance. It makes it CLEAR that the PARENT is in charge. To this day, my mother is in charge of me and my older brother, because she always has been. Those ideas you learned at a young age stay with you.

I don't know how old you are but I hope you are still in high school or younger. As an adult I do not WANT my parents to think they are in charge of me nor do I want to think it myself.

I think you'll find this divided across the lines of people spanked and those who weren't.

I doubt it. The previous thread about this had plenty of people who were spanked and don't support it as well as people who were and do.

 

[CVSiN]

Originally posted by: torpid
They have the right to, but that doesn't mean it is the best thing to do in most cases, if ever. I think that parents who spank kids do it way too often. Doing it often will teach kids a warped sense of justice and morality since they will habitually associate doing something wrong with violent retalliation.

Wasn't this question asked quite recently here?

Oh and timeouts in thier room with books, TVs, Toys etc.. work oh so well...

screw that hippy make your kid pick his own Hickory Switch from the tree...
those freaking things HURT and I never did that crap again that casued me to get beat with that...