Poll: Drinking Ettiquit....

[stev0]

So I decided to have a few friends over on friday night, to consume some alcholic beverages and whatnot. The evening goes well and around 12-12:30 two of the 5 people leave. An hour or so earlier all drinking ceased for the night. The other two fell asleep and around 3 or 3:30 I told them they should go, me not liking people to stay over and all. Both really didn't have the much of a problem with it and left. The next day one of my friends that I told to leave last night started calling me a rat, how I was such a ba5tard because I made them leave while they were still "messed up". Now I can see where they would be pissed off, but then were does he come off thinking that he can just go over to someones place and expect to crash there for the night. At no time did I ever say that either of them could sleep there and then I get called names cause I make them leave. Wtf? What do you guys think, was I being a rat for making them leave when I didn't say they could stay the night there?

 

[TranceNation]

it should be expected that u let them stay over, or else don't have a drinking get togther there.

 

[VirusDub]

You definitely should have established beforehand if they would be crashing or not. If you don't say anything, it should be assumed that they can stay until morning.

 

[glenn1]

unless they walked to your place, sending still less than sober folks out onto the roadways to drive home is being a rat, yes, and not only to your friends.

 

[AdamDuritz99]

Dude you should have let them stay, it's just expected. But it's your place so do whatever you want.

peace
sean

 

[stev0]

the kid that was driving was sober. apparently this is some unwritten rule. although I've never drank with these guys before, well the two that decieded it would be alright for them to spend the night. out of all the times that i've had the 'usual suspects' over to booz, not one time have i had one of them just decide that it was ok for them to spend the night. i probably would have left them stay if they would've asked, but they didn't even say a word, just went to sleep.

 

[GrumpyMan]

Sorry StevO but if you allow people to drink at your place, you are responsible morally (IMHO) to allow them to crash until the AM.........to not do so betrays the unspoken pact that exists between friends.
Now if you didn't like the people you had over very much, then it's a dammed if you do, dammed if you don't situation.

 

[Theslowone]

If drinking is involved then there needs to be rules of some sort, exspecially if not all of you are 21. Still don't know why the called you a rat though.

And everyone was fine to drive after quiting an hour b4, ya'll must of not consumed much of the "alcholic beverages and whatnot."

 

[stev0]

'damed if you do damned if you don't' I'm not sure if I understand that part.... how would I be damned if I let them go?

i don't mind hanging around them at all, we all hang out quite often in fact.

I would also like to add how I asked the one that would be driving, before he left that if he was ok to drive and he said he was.

Now maybe it is just the part of the country that I'm from but I've never been to a party or someones house to drink and then planned on staying there, nor have I ever thrown a party or had people where that has happened, except this one. But I guess I'm a rat. oh well.

edit: I mean seriously, do you guys really go over to your friends house and expect to spend the night there? With out it even telling the person that you plan on doing so. If I was really a rat I would've just told them to leave at 12 or whenever the first two left.

edit 2: I've got a fairly large tolerance built up, and the one guy that was driving is a large football player and had very few (3 or 3 1/2 drinks at the most). There was also some grass that was smoked... but that really dosen't effect your ability to drive a car.

 

[isasir]

Whenever I go out to drink, I go out with the notion that I'm going to head back home, since I like sleeping in my bed. If I feel I am unable to safely accomplish this task (due to drunkedness or tiredness), then I will ask to sleep.

What the heck did you do for 3 hrs. (bet. 12:30 and 3:30) Were you sitting there watching them sleep? If this had happened to me, I'd have just hauled my own ass to sleep and deal with it in the morning.

 

[SackOfAllTrades]

maybe he said "rad?"

 

[Radiohead]

If you're inviting ppl over with the intention to drink, it should be expected that you will allow them to crash the night.

if you allow people to drink at your place, you are responsible morally (IMHO) to allow them to crash until the AM

Not only are you morally responsible, but you're also legally responsible for their safety. If someone drove home incapacitated and wrecked, you would have been held partly responsible for it in a court of law.

 

[HappyFace]

I suppose you weren't legally required to let them stay the night, but it probably would have been the better thing to do. There weren't many hours left until sunrise. Next time, let your buddys stay over if they're sleepy and drunk!

 

[Theslowone]

damned if you let them go? hum let me see, If they are under 21 and they got caught it could go back on you, if they were tight or to tired to drive and wrecked it could come back on you, if guilt only, so on and so forth. And I know a lot of people who say they are alright to drive, alchol has a tendancy of making you say things that you really mean and what you really don't mean.

 

[luv2chill]

What's the big deal with letting a couple people crash on your couch anyway? Just curious... I've been on both sides... fallen asleep at friends' houses and had buddies crash at my place. Sometimes it just happens (especially after the "grass", which I see you sort of snuck in there). Weed (especially indica) is almost sure to cause you to get sleepy eventually.

I could understand if these were a couple of people you hardly knew (friends of friends), but if they're your good friends, what's the big deal?

I guess it's just sort of an unwritten rule, just one of those things your're supposed to be able to count on your friends for.

l2c

 

[yobarman]

wow dude what a dick thing to do.

 

[stev0]

There used to be a time where I could've cared less when people stay over, and then I just got really sick of cleaning up after them and decided that most people that come over to my place arn't going to spend the night. I guess most of you out there think I'm a dick for doing that, I've always gone to peoples places assuming that I will be returning home, and I would stop drinking at a certain time to allow myself to sober up enough to go home. I've asked a bunch of people that I normally drink with about this and they all agree with me, that they should've just asked to stay there, instead of doing what they did. I would like to see what the other people that agree with me have to say.

edit: it was cannabis sativa

 

[HamSupLo]

that was a dastardly thing to do. I bet you even made them bring the munchies!!

 

[luv2chill]

<< it was cannabis sativa >>

Ah, well regardless. Still makes ya sleepy.

I don't mean to rag on you dude... do what you want--it's your place, and I don't know how close these friends of yours are. All of my friends are really good friends and can count on an open invitation to crash at my place any time, and I know the same goes for me.

But my friends are also pretty considerate and don't trash my place so...

Just explain to your buddies what you were thinking... I'm sure it's no big deal. Or, just forget about it... they probably already have.

l2c

 

[jeremy806]

wtf, allow people to stay. friends don't push their tired or drunk friends out the door.
jeremy806

 

[Ameesh]

you suck, if you invite people to drink at your house your responsible.

 

[The Dancing Peacock]

you were being a prick. You don't do that to friends. That's what happens when you have friends over to drink, you have to clean up the next day. It happens, if you don't like it, don't invite ppl to drink with you at your place, simple as that. Yea they should have asked, but if they thought they were good enough friends that they didn't have to ask, then you're really a prick. Sometimes when you're blazed, you don't want to move, or your too messed up to drive, that was pretty irresponsible if you care about their safety at all.

 

[TranceNation]

i guess u have to ask yourself this:
what's more important, a clean living room or my friends safety?

 

[kami]

Sh!t, even if they were walking home and not driving home its not totally safe. Trust me, I've been through that ordeal before. One time I was at a party downtown toronto and I got really drunk (keep in mind my dorms are far away from downtown, maybe a 20min car ride or 1-1.5 hours on public transit). ANyway, the hosts of this party kicked a lot of us out at around 2am for some reason. I was still very, very drunk and I had to find my way home without money for a cab. For the first hour or two I was wandering around and then I finally sobered up and I started getting pretty freaked since I am not from toronto and don't know my way anywhere. I took a few busses and seemed to be going the wrong way. Eventually I convinced a cabby to drive me back to my dorm where there is a bank machine and i could get money to pay him ($25 fare)...when I DID get back the sun was already coming up.

I learned a few things from this ordeal...
#1 don't drink somewhere unless there's at least one good person you can trust
#2 from now on I don't have any problem with people crashing in my room.

So you, sir, are an ass! Let your buddies sleep over after drinking...holy crap. Are you afraid they're going to dirty your spotless carpet or something? :|

 

[djheater]

Naw you weren't a rat.

Here's my perspective. Seems like the other people here forget that the people who came over are presumably responsible adults (they were drinking). Common decency and polite behavior indicates you don't get so f'ed up at someones house that you can't make your own way home. Even if something happens and you accidentally do get so f'ed you pass out that person has the right at any point to tell you to pack up and hit the road. Christ it's thier house, they have the right to say who stays or goes. Nobody has the right to just crash without knowing the host REALLLLY well. This type of "Hey man, just be cool and let me crash dude" behavior sucks and makes nice people's life harder. You get a-holes like these two just crashing where ever they please and being a burden on a polite host. F them I say.