I would try and grab her arms and wrists, and if I succeeded, and she didn't/wouldn't calm down, I would squeeze a bit, maybe...But if I didn't do that and/or I couldn't grab her, then I would plant my hand right in the upper-middle of her chest, a little below her neck, and push her firmly onto the softest spot I could aim her at.
All of this, of course, would only happen if she was one big bitch like Chyna or something and actually made me stop laughing.