Poll: Is virginity a virtue?

[Placer14]

Originally posted by: Rob9874

Originally posted by: Placer14
I'm still a virgin because I haven't found a girl that I connect with in that way. I'm looking for a connection, not just physical satisfaction.


3 more months to go!! ...can't wait until march..

Is that when you are having sex?

Aheh, no.

 

[kt]

I will make up for my lack of virtue on something else, thank you.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: bleeb

If you are a virgin by choice, what basis do you have for your decision?

1. Go to google, type: vaginal herpes, genital warts, or whatever STD you can think of. Look through some of those pictures. That will give you a good idea of why some people prefer abstinence.

2. The emotional attachments that come along with sex. Some people can have casual sex, some people can't.

3. The religious basis.

4. Some people get too preoccupied with sex, they don't focus on other issues. Like careers, etc.

5. Don't want to risk getting girl pregnant, don't like abortion. (condoms don't work all the time)

6. Sex has a deeper meaning.

As a counterpoint to virginity, I mentioned the celebration of a happy and healthy sexuality as a "virtue" in itself. Part of that, of course, would be the avoidance of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Please bear in mind that I am not advocating casual sex, but instead a meaningful and healthy sexual exploration and lifestyle (presumably with people you care deeply about).

 

[Stratum9]

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
"Virginity is a lovely thing. It is the greatest gift a man and woman can give one another. The husband and wife, who consimate their marriage on their wedding night, will grow in love for each other." ~Mother Theresa

Don't know if that makes it a virtue, but still...

HAHA! What the fvck does an unmarried nun know about human sexuality?! And that comment about "most of those who abstain do so in order to make it more fulfilling and meaningful when they eventually do engage in sex." is total romantic bs!

Most people's first sexual encounter is lousy and plagued by self-doubt and worry. Sex rarely matches up to the idealized version the person had of it in their head the first time they experience it for real. That doesn't come until later after both partners have gained in experience by learning what pleases the other partner the most.

That whole virgin wedding night fantasy just cracks me up! For the woman, what is so romantic about the pain of vaginal tearing, chafing and bleeding? And for the guy, what is so romantic about seeing the woman you love wince in pain instead of sigh in ecstasy when you instert your manhood? And when you're done you lay there feeling like dogs that just mated wondering if your spouse still loves you after that whole experience!

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: bleeb

If you are a virgin by choice, what basis do you have for your decision?

1. Go to google, type: vaginal herpes, genital warts, or whatever STD you can think of. Look through some of those pictures. That will give you a good idea of why some people prefer abstinence.

2. The emotional attachments that come along with sex. Some people can have casual sex, some people can't.

3. The religious basis.

4. Some people get too preoccupied with sex, they don't focus on other issues. Like careers, etc.

5. Don't want to risk getting girl pregnant, don't like abortion. (condoms don't work all the time)

6. Sex has a deeper meaning.

As a counterpoint to virginity, I mentioned the celebration of a happy and healthy sexuality as a "virtue" in itself. Part of that, of course, would be the avoidance of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Please bear in mind that I am not advocating casual sex, but instead a meaningful and healthy sexual exploration and lifestyle (presumably with people you care deeply about).

Some people don't feel that sex makes their life more complete and healthy. And sex's original purpose is to create life - the only reason why you and many other people think or feel it's a part of a healthy lifestyle is because today's society glorifies sex as you so have described, in everything from books, movies, tv shows, and commercials where sex is just used as a tool to sell stuff. (WTF does semi-nude women have to do with shaving cream or lawnmowers?)

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Originally posted by: Stratum9

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
"Virginity is a lovely thing. It is the greatest gift a man and woman can give one another. The husband and wife, who consimate their marriage on their wedding night, will grow in love for each other." ~Mother Theresa

Don't know if that makes it a virtue, but still...

HAHA! What the fvck does an unmarried nun know about human sexuality?! And that comment about "most of those who abstain do so in order to make it more fulfilling and meaningful when they eventually do engage in sex." is total romantic bs!

Most people's first sexual encounter is lousy and plagued by self-doubt and worry. Sex rarely matches up to the idealized version the person had of it in their head the first time they experience it for real. That doesn't come until later after both partners have gained in experience by learning what pleases the other partner the most.

That whole virgin wedding night fantasy just cracks me up! For the woman, what is so romantic about the pain of vaginal tearing, chafing and bleeding? And for the guy, what is so romantic about seeing the woman you love wince in pain instead of sigh in ecstasy when you instert your manhood? And when you're done you lay their feeling like dogs that just mated wondering if your spouse still loves you after that whole experience!

LMAO, SaltBoy will tear you a new one. Both he and his recent bride were virgins and their wedding night was their first time. Boy, you make fun of something as serious to them. Ever heard of morals or strong religious beliefs? (They're both Mormon) You sir are an @$$hat.

 

[Rob9874]

Originally posted by: Stratum9
That whole virgin wedding night fantasy just cracks me up! For the woman, what is so romantic about the pain of vaginal tearing, chafing and bleeding? And for the guy, what is so romantic about seeing the woman you love wince in pain instead of sigh in ecstasy when you instert your manhood? And when you're done you lay their feeling like dogs that just mated wondering if your spouse still loves you after that whole experience!

I think the romanticism is in the fact that you have waited your whole life to share this with your spouse. Even before you met, you knew how special she would be to you, and there is sentimental value in the idea that instead of giving in when you had the chance, you chose to save it for your wife/husband. Corny to some, important to others. To each his own. I wish I had waited.

Again, you're point of view is based on physical pleasure only. It's something that matters to those who view sex as a act of love, not the pleasurable result.

 

[radioouman]

Some people don't feel that sex makes their life more complete and healthy. And sex's original purpose is to create life - the only reason why you and many other people think or feel it's a part of a healthy lifestyle is because today's society glorifies sex as you so have described, in everything from books, movies, tv shows, and commercials where sex is just used as a tool to sell stuff. (WTF does semi-nude women have to do with shaving cream or lawnmowers?)

I can't believe that I am posting this here, but I guess I am one of these people. To me, sex feels like it cheapens the relationship. I don't feel better when I have sex. I feel better when I am doing an activity that accomplishes something for myself. I'm not saying that I would rather go to work than have sex, but I am saying that I won't let sex get in the way of a meaningful relationship with my wife. (My relationship will not be based on how good the sex is....)

 

[Stratum9]

Originally posted by: RagingBITCH

Originally posted by: Stratum9

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
"Virginity is a lovely thing. It is the greatest gift a man and woman can give one another. The husband and wife, who consimate their marriage on their wedding night, will grow in love for each other." ~Mother Theresa

Don't know if that makes it a virtue, but still...

HAHA! What the fvck does an unmarried nun know about human sexuality?! And that comment about "most of those who abstain do so in order to make it more fulfilling and meaningful when they eventually do engage in sex." is total romantic bs!

Most people's first sexual encounter is lousy and plagued by self-doubt and worry. Sex rarely matches up to the idealized version the person had of it in their head the first time they experience it for real. That doesn't come until later after both partners have gained in experience by learning what pleases the other partner the most.

That whole virgin wedding night fantasy just cracks me up! For the woman, what is so romantic about the pain of vaginal tearing, chafing and bleeding? And for the guy, what is so romantic about seeing the woman you love wince in pain instead of sigh in ecstasy when you instert your manhood? And when you're done you lay their feeling like dogs that just mated wondering if your spouse still loves you after that whole experience!

LMAO, SaltBoy will tear you a new one. Both he and his recent bride were virgins and their wedding night was their first time. Boy, you make fun of something as serious to them. Ever heard of morals or strong religious beliefs? (They're both Mormon) You sir are an @$$hat.

So I'm an @sshat for making comments based upon my own experience? Saltboy's experince may be different than mine but does that make him better than me?

My wife was a virgin on our wedding night. I was not. She even admitted later that she was glad I wasn't because I came to the marriage bed with experience and confidence which made the whole thing somewhat better.

I am entilted to my opinion, pal!

 

[palad]

I feel that there are only two things in life that we can truly create: ideas, and children. Everything else, we merely rearrange; we take components that have existed since this world started, and put them in new patterns. But with children, we take the makeup of two unique individuals, and genuinely create a new unique individual. It is the closest we can come to pure creation. Using this power wisely and thrifitly will always be a virtue.

People have perverted the concept of sex into a purely selfish thing, and then convinced themselves that their behavior only affects them. They ignore the fact that when they debase the power and beauty within themselves, and make it into something common and low, that they are debasing the power and beauty within all of humanity.

 

[bleeb]

What the hell is an "@sshat"? =)

 

[Rob9874]

Originally posted by: bleeb
What the hell is an "@sshat"? =)

Isn't that just underwear?

 

[AreaCode707]

Virginity is a state. Nothing inherently virtuous about a state of being (unless you're reading medieval lit, which does depict virgins to be morally higher than non-virgins.) The virtue would be abstinence, til marriage or throughout life (*gasp, shock on the part of the the AT horndogs*) which is a choice (in other words, you're not abstinent if you can't get some but you would if you could) and reflects self-control in carrying through your decisions.

 

[dethman]

after being in a relationship with a previous virgin i want someone more horny and who knows how to give a bj. so no not a virtue.

 

[Stratum9]

All I'm trying to say is this: The question was asked, Is virginity a virtue? I say it is NOT since the idea of "virtue" implies moral excelence or superiority. Those who make virginity into a virtue are implying that the marriage will be better off than if either one of them was not a virgin. Plus they often attach idealized notions to it as well. After almost ten years of marriage I can attest to the fact that the emotional bond that grows between two people will make the sexual experience better and better each year. After a while issues about virginity pale in comparison. It really makes no difference whether the person who you are married to was a virgin before you met him/her.

 

[SaltBoy]

Originally posted by: RagingBITCH

Originally posted by: Stratum9

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
"Virginity is a lovely thing. It is the greatest gift a man and woman can give one another. The husband and wife, who consimate their marriage on their wedding night, will grow in love for each other." ~Mother Theresa

Don't know if that makes it a virtue, but still...

HAHA! What the fvck does an unmarried nun know about human sexuality?! And that comment about "most of those who abstain do so in order to make it more fulfilling and meaningful when they eventually do engage in sex." is total romantic bs!

Most people's first sexual encounter is lousy and plagued by self-doubt and worry. Sex rarely matches up to the idealized version the person had of it in their head the first time they experience it for real. That doesn't come until later after both partners have gained in experience by learning what pleases the other partner the most.

That whole virgin wedding night fantasy just cracks me up! For the woman, what is so romantic about the pain of vaginal tearing, chafing and bleeding? And for the guy, what is so romantic about seeing the woman you love wince in pain instead of sigh in ecstasy when you instert your manhood? And when you're done you lay their feeling like dogs that just mated wondering if your spouse still loves you after that whole experience!

LMAO, SaltBoy will tear you a new one. Both he and his recent bride were virgins and their wedding night was their first time. Boy, you make fun of something as serious to them. Ever heard of morals or strong religious beliefs? (They're both Mormon) You sir are an @$$hat.

Eh, I won't tear him a new one. His attitude is nothing new to me.

 

[silverpig]

Originally posted by: Stratum9

Originally posted by: RagingBITCH

Originally posted by: Stratum9

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
"Virginity is a lovely thing. It is the greatest gift a man and woman can give one another. The husband and wife, who consimate their marriage on their wedding night, will grow in love for each other." ~Mother Theresa

Don't know if that makes it a virtue, but still...

HAHA! What the fvck does an unmarried nun know about human sexuality?! And that comment about "most of those who abstain do so in order to make it more fulfilling and meaningful when they eventually do engage in sex." is total romantic bs!

Most people's first sexual encounter is lousy and plagued by self-doubt and worry. Sex rarely matches up to the idealized version the person had of it in their head the first time they experience it for real. That doesn't come until later after both partners have gained in experience by learning what pleases the other partner the most.

That whole virgin wedding night fantasy just cracks me up! For the woman, what is so romantic about the pain of vaginal tearing, chafing and bleeding? And for the guy, what is so romantic about seeing the woman you love wince in pain instead of sigh in ecstasy when you instert your manhood? And when you're done you lay their feeling like dogs that just mated wondering if your spouse still loves you after that whole experience!

LMAO, SaltBoy will tear you a new one. Both he and his recent bride were virgins and their wedding night was their first time. Boy, you make fun of something as serious to them. Ever heard of morals or strong religious beliefs? (They're both Mormon) You sir are an @$$hat.

So I'm an @sshat for making comments based upon my own experience? Saltboy's experince may be different than mine but does that make him better than me?

My wife was a virgin on our wedding night. I was not. She even admitted later that she was glad I wasn't because I came to the marriage bed with experience and confidence which made the whole thing somewhat better.

I am entilted to my opinion, pal!

His point about Mother Teresa talking about marriage and virginity is valid. What does she know about it? Just what she's seen and not what she's experienced.

Virginal sex sucks. You fumble around until you get it right, and then she bleeds in pain. I got absolutely nothing out of that. It was honestly the worst sex I've ever had. I loved the girl, but still... That first time was more of a "let's get all that stuff out of the way" time really. The "special" times came later, when it was more enjoyable for both of us.

If he has his beliefs, that's fine. Good for him. Still don't make the sex any better though.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: RagingBITCH

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: bleeb

If you are a virgin by choice, what basis do you have for your decision?

1. Go to google, type: vaginal herpes, genital warts, or whatever STD you can think of. Look through some of those pictures. That will give you a good idea of why some people prefer abstinence.

2. The emotional attachments that come along with sex. Some people can have casual sex, some people can't.

3. The religious basis.

4. Some people get too preoccupied with sex, they don't focus on other issues. Like careers, etc.

5. Don't want to risk getting girl pregnant, don't like abortion. (condoms don't work all the time)

6. Sex has a deeper meaning.

As a counterpoint to virginity, I mentioned the celebration of a happy and healthy sexuality as a "virtue" in itself. Part of that, of course, would be the avoidance of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Please bear in mind that I am not advocating casual sex, but instead a meaningful and healthy sexual exploration and lifestyle (presumably with people you care deeply about).

Some people don't feel that sex makes their life more complete and healthy. And sex's original purpose is to create life - the only reason why you and many other people think or feel it's a part of a healthy lifestyle is because today's society glorifies sex as you so have described, in everything from books, movies, tv shows, and commercials where sex is just used as a tool to sell stuff. (WTF does semi-nude women have to do with shaving cream or lawnmowers?)

So aside from the issue of the glorification of sex wihin the realms of advertising and pop culture, are you saying that sexuality, unless it's used for the express purpose of propogating the species, is somehow not healthy? Can you please clarify what you're saying?

 

[bolido2000]

It is easy to abstain from something that you have never experienced.

 

[Placer14]

Originally posted by: bolido2000
It is easy to abstain from something that you have never experienced.

I 2nd this.

 

[Peetoeng]

Originally posted by: Stratum9
All I'm trying to say is this: The question was asked, Is virginity a virtue? I say it is NOT since the idea of "virtue" implies moral excelence or superiority. Those who make virginity into a virtue are implying that the marriage will be better off than if either one of them was not a virgin. Plus they often attach idealized notions to it as well. After almost ten years of marriage I can attest to the fact that the emotional bond that grows between two people will make the sexual experience better and better each year. After a while issues about virginity pale in comparison. It really makes no difference whether the person who you are married to was a virgin before you met him/her.

That's a very good point. Staying virgin is commendable. But when two people meet and commit to a relationship, the past should become less important. I cannot hold her accountable for what she have done in the past. She's accountable to her parents, her G-d, etc. Likewise, she cannot hold me accountable for what I have done. Surely, I'd share about my past when proper time comes. Simply holding an ex-virgin unvirtuous or even damaged[/] accomplishes nothing more than scoring 'holier than thou' points.

 

[Stratum9]

Originally posted by: Placer14

Originally posted by: bolido2000
It is easy to abstain from something that you have never experienced.

I 2nd this.

And I 3rd it!

My wife had "saved" herself for marriage for the same reasons that many here are saying. Dating her was tough to say the least. But there was this idea that on our wedding night it would be all worth it; that the night would be the highest experience we'd known. But the truth is, it sucked!

As the intimacy grew between us we reached the point where we were able to freely talk about our feelings of that night. She addmitted that it was unpleasant for her and I addmitted that the feeling that I was hurting the woman I loved totally ruined it for me. We both now agree that it is better where we are now and have no desire to return to that moment. And we both agree that the whole virginity thing was rather silly. If you feel that it is a valuable part of your marriage then that is good. But it isn't a neccessary componant for an intimate marriage, which is what the virtue idea seems to imply.

 

[Nightfall]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: RagingBITCH

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: bleeb

If you are a virgin by choice, what basis do you have for your decision?

1. Go to google, type: vaginal herpes, genital warts, or whatever STD you can think of. Look through some of those pictures. That will give you a good idea of why some people prefer abstinence.

2. The emotional attachments that come along with sex. Some people can have casual sex, some people can't.

3. The religious basis.

4. Some people get too preoccupied with sex, they don't focus on other issues. Like careers, etc.

5. Don't want to risk getting girl pregnant, don't like abortion. (condoms don't work all the time)

6. Sex has a deeper meaning.

As a counterpoint to virginity, I mentioned the celebration of a happy and healthy sexuality as a "virtue" in itself. Part of that, of course, would be the avoidance of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Please bear in mind that I am not advocating casual sex, but instead a meaningful and healthy sexual exploration and lifestyle (presumably with people you care deeply about).

Some people don't feel that sex makes their life more complete and healthy. And sex's original purpose is to create life - the only reason why you and many other people think or feel it's a part of a healthy lifestyle is because today's society glorifies sex as you so have described, in everything from books, movies, tv shows, and commercials where sex is just used as a tool to sell stuff. (WTF does semi-nude women have to do with shaving cream or lawnmowers?)

So aside from the issue of the glorification of sex wihin the realms of advertising and pop culture, are you saying that sexuality, unless it's used for the express purpose of propogating the species, is somehow not healthy? Can you please clarify what you're saying?

I would also like to know what he is saying.

Sex only for propogation? Sounds pretty lame to me. Lets get this out of the way, there will never be a time when everyone uses sex only for propogation and NOT recreationally. Yes, there will be an occassion when it is used for having kids, but the couple will have a darn good time doing it.

 

[dquan97]

Being physically and mentally "pure" IS a virtue.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: dquan97
Being physically and mentally "pure" IS a virtue.

Define "pure", and explain why that would be a virtue...