Poll: Is virginity a virtue?

[Mucman]

I thought it was a curse!

 

[Eli]

Before I met my girlfriend, I was also proud to be a virgin. I think it stems from the fact that many don't just want to fsck, they want a meaningful and lasting relationship... dispite what we say. So being able to say, "Yeah.. I'm a virgin" feels good to them. Shrug. That's the way it was for me. I had a few chances, but I never took them.. I wanted to wait for someone that I really loved.

I had pretty much given up on meeting someone else that was a virgin, which was something that was important to me. Fortunately, there is a God.

Oh, and I must comment..

Originally posted by: Stratum9

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
"Virginity is a lovely thing. It is the greatest gift a man and woman can give one another. The husband and wife, who consimate their marriage on their wedding night, will grow in love for each other." ~Mother Theresa

Don't know if that makes it a virtue, but still...

HAHA! What the fvck does an unmarried nun know about human sexuality?! And that comment about "most of those who abstain do so in order to make it more fulfilling and meaningful when they eventually do engage in sex." is total romantic bs!

Most people's first sexual encounter is lousy and plagued by self-doubt and worry. Sex rarely matches up to the idealized version the person had of it in their head the first time they experience it for real. That doesn't come until later after both partners have gained in experience by learning what pleases the other partner the most.

That whole virgin wedding night fantasy just cracks me up! For the woman, what is so romantic about the pain of vaginal tearing, chafing and bleeding? And for the guy, what is so romantic about seeing the woman you love wince in pain instead of sigh in ecstasy when you instert your manhood? And when you're done you lay there feeling like dogs that just mated wondering if your spouse still loves you after that whole experience!

Believe it or not, there are still people out there that subscribe to the "total romantic bs". My girlfriend and I thrive on it.

 

[SherEPunjab]

If you are a girl it is.

If you are a guy, it isn't a virtue, its a sign of failure.

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: Mucman
I thought it was a curse!

w3rd

 

[Huz]

Virginity in and of itself is certainly not a virtue, but to take the question one step further, I think leading a responsible sex life is. Why should abstaining from a natural act be regarded as virtuous? I'm my eyes remaining a virgin for any reason other than "I haven't found anyone I really want to do it with" is no more virtuous than seeing how long you can hold your bladder.

 

[vladgur]

Originally posted by: RagingBITCHSome people don't feel that sex makes their life more complete and healthy. And sex's original purpose is to create life - the only reason why you and many other people think or feel it's a part of a healthy lifestyle is because today's society glorifies sex as you so have described, in everything from books, movies, tv shows, and commercials where sex is just used as a tool to sell stuff. (WTF does semi-nude women have to do with shaving cream or lawnmowers?)

Nope, thats the purpose that the Catholic Church came up in the middle ages when it tried to install celibacy in all of its followers and they nearly revolted. In order not to lose much of its followers who naturally wanted and needed to fornicate, church allowed sex but only within the confines of a marriage and only for purposes of procreation. I find it very hard to believe that there are still fools out there who buy into this religious mumbo-jumbo. With advances in todays contraceptives and birth control, sex could be approached more rationally.
In fact I watched the History Channel special on Sex through the ages and found out that the medieval french clergy actually supported prostitution. They knew that if the needy werent relieved, it will result in rapes. So they saw prostitution as "neccessary evil". Well if your church sees sex as neccessarry, why in the world would you abstain?

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: vladgur

Originally posted by: RagingBITCHSome people don't feel that sex makes their life more complete and healthy. And sex's original purpose is to create life - the only reason why you and many other people think or feel it's a part of a healthy lifestyle is because today's society glorifies sex as you so have described, in everything from books, movies, tv shows, and commercials where sex is just used as a tool to sell stuff. (WTF does semi-nude women have to do with shaving cream or lawnmowers?)

Nope, thats the purpose that the Catholic Church came up in the middle ages when it tried to install celibacy in all of its followers and they nearly revolted. In order not to lose much of its followers who naturally wanted and needed to fornicate, church allowed sex but only within the confines of a marriage and only for purposes of procreation. I find it very hard to believe that there are still fools out there who buy into this religious mumbo-jumbo. With advances in todays contraceptives and birth control, sex could be approached more rationally.
In fact I watched the History Channel special on Sex through the ages and found out that the medieval french clergy actually supported prostitution. They knew that if the needy werent relieved, it will result in rapes. So they saw prostitution as "neccessary evil". Well if your church sees sex as neccessarry, why in the world would you abstain?

Interesting points. This makes me wonder of those people who regard virginity as a virtue, how many do so simply because their religion told them to? I haven't heard too many reasons in this thread as to why people consider virginity to be a virtue, considering the number of people who voted yes in the poll. Please, people, share your opinions!

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: vladgur

Originally posted by: RagingBITCHSome people don't feel that sex makes their life more complete and healthy. And sex's original purpose is to create life - the only reason why you and many other people think or feel it's a part of a healthy lifestyle is because today's society glorifies sex as you so have described, in everything from books, movies, tv shows, and commercials where sex is just used as a tool to sell stuff. (WTF does semi-nude women have to do with shaving cream or lawnmowers?)

Nope, thats the purpose that the Catholic Church came up in the middle ages when it tried to install celibacy in all of its followers and they nearly revolted. In order not to lose much of its followers who naturally wanted and needed to fornicate, church allowed sex but only within the confines of a marriage and only for purposes of procreation. I find it very hard to believe that there are still fools out there who buy into this religious mumbo-jumbo. With advances in todays contraceptives and birth control, sex could be approached more rationally.
In fact I watched the History Channel special on Sex through the ages and found out that the medieval french clergy actually supported prostitution. They knew that if the needy werent relieved, it will result in rapes. So they saw prostitution as "neccessary evil". Well if your church sees sex as neccessarry, why in the world would you abstain?

Interesting points. This makes me wonder of those people who regard virginity as a virtue, how many do so simply because their religion told them to? I haven't heard too many reasons in this thread as to why people consider virginity to be a virtue, considering the number of people who voted yes in the poll. Please, people, share your opinions!

I voted Yes, but I could have just as easily voted No. I did not make the choice because of religion, it was a personal choice.. I wanted to save it for someone that I loved. Perhaps more importantly, I wanted to save it for someone that loved me. I would hope my reason is one of the ones that you find acceptable.

 

[StageLeft]

Only if you're young and think that virginity is the most important thing in the world. As you grow up you wonder "God, why was I waiting?".

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

You bet.

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Originally posted by: Nightfall

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: RagingBITCH

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: bleeb

If you are a virgin by choice, what basis do you have for your decision?

1. Go to google, type: vaginal herpes, genital warts, or whatever STD you can think of. Look through some of those pictures. That will give you a good idea of why some people prefer abstinence.

2. The emotional attachments that come along with sex. Some people can have casual sex, some people can't.

3. The religious basis.

4. Some people get too preoccupied with sex, they don't focus on other issues. Like careers, etc.

5. Don't want to risk getting girl pregnant, don't like abortion. (condoms don't work all the time)

6. Sex has a deeper meaning.

As a counterpoint to virginity, I mentioned the celebration of a happy and healthy sexuality as a "virtue" in itself. Part of that, of course, would be the avoidance of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Please bear in mind that I am not advocating casual sex, but instead a meaningful and healthy sexual exploration and lifestyle (presumably with people you care deeply about).

Some people don't feel that sex makes their life more complete and healthy. And sex's original purpose is to create life - the only reason why you and many other people think or feel it's a part of a healthy lifestyle is because today's society glorifies sex as you so have described, in everything from books, movies, tv shows, and commercials where sex is just used as a tool to sell stuff. (WTF does semi-nude women have to do with shaving cream or lawnmowers?)

So aside from the issue of the glorification of sex wihin the realms of advertising and pop culture, are you saying that sexuality, unless it's used for the express purpose of propogating the species, is somehow not healthy? Can you please clarify what you're saying?

I would also like to know what he is saying.

Sex only for propogation? Sounds pretty lame to me. Lets get this out of the way, there will never be a time when everyone uses sex only for propogation and NOT recreationally. Yes, there will be an occassion when it is used for having kids, but the couple will have a darn good time doing it.

Um, I never said I based my beliefs on virginity off religion. I sure as hell aren't religious. And I never said it wasn't healthy - I'm saying it's not a necessary part of a healthy lifestyle. Just because you believe it is doesn't make me wrong. I'm not saying having sex for "recreation" is wrong either - you're entitled to your own opinion, as one guy kindly pointed out to me after I flamed him - that's just how I feel. Who are you to say that sex is a virtue much like breathing?

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
Only if you're young and think that virginity is the most important thing in the world. As you grow up you wonder "God, why was I waiting?".

Perhaps.. I don't think I'll have that problem, though. Our first time was wonderful... Couldn't have gone any better. I don't think I'll have any regrets as life goes on, even if my girlfriend and I don't spend the rest of our lives together.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Eli

Originally posted by: Skoorb
Only if you're young and think that virginity is the most important thing in the world. As you grow up you wonder "God, why was I waiting?".

Perhaps.. I don't think I'll have that problem, though. Our first time was wonderful... Couldn't have gone any better. I don't think I'll have any regrets as life goes on, even if my girlfriend and I don't spend the rest of our lives together.

You won't, trust me!

 

[her209]

Its only a virtue when you are waiting for the results of the pregnancy tests.

 

[linuxboy]

And now we begin to unravel things like virtue. Aristotle's virtue was habit. Society's virtue may be what causes cohesion and survival. Personal virtue may be a postmodernist nightmare of self-definitional existentionalism. Virtue qua virtue may be no virtue at all but familiarity, which in turn breeds contempt.

Virtue for whom? And what exactly is virginity? But these essential questions will just lead us to more questions .

A state or non state in itself has little to do with regulating ethical matters since its experience and connection doesn't exist purely in the ethical realm of understanding but in one of comprehension and partaking. To say, for example, that a state or nonstate of sexual intercourse contains laude or its lackwould open the doors to the inclusion of relative understandings. That is, what is implied by a state, and what meaning does it have?

In the past, women (not men) were valued for their virginity since this was a symbol of purity, not to mention an easy way for men to escape their sexual insecurities. Take Homer's oddyssey, for example. Odysseus had intercourse with women he met, while his wife remained chaste awaiting her husband. This significance of devotion and integration of relational and archetypic imagery in writings point to a double standard, as still evidenced today.

However, the concern of sexual standards must also connect with the ethical realm and virtue. As a state, virginity (herein defined as a state of non-experience of physical intercourse between opposing morphs of a species) cannot be claimed to be virtuous or not, since it speaks little of what actions an individual does or their values to that person, a society, or ethical system. Taken in conjuction with romantic notions, yes virginity becomes virtuous and desirable. Taken in conjunction with understandings of Tantric worldviews, sex becomes virtuous and desirable, and indeed enlightening. Taken in conjunction with personal convictions, virginity becomes a matter one defines. The ethical concerns here are that due to the complex biopsychosocial transactions a person has with his/her environment, virginity cannot truly be established as some virtue or not.

Yet, this recognition of the nonrelation of ethics in virginity does not address issues virginity touches such as volitional abstinence, responsible sex, illigitimate and unwanted children, social strata of legal constructs and a myriad of similar issues that deal with human sexuality. For example, suppose that for a person, responsible sex was to be in a committed, marital relationship, and actions taken outside of that necessitated the breaking of what would be a virtue. Then yes, virginity is a virtue. Likewise the opposite is true, suppose virginity is lost or given yet responsible sexual behavior practiced by an understanding was also virtuous. Do these have equal ontological values and conditions, one being no more or less virtuous than another? If so, then virtue and virginity again becomes murky.

Suppose that virginity was preserved until it was deemed proper to destroy that state. What makes the resulting state any less or more virtuous? A widower, having no state of virginity but practicing a responsible sex life, can we condemn or judge this to be somehow less or more or equally virtuous?

These problems of defining virtue, defining universals of sexual behavior, mixed in with attempts to understand what constitutes sex, intercourse, reproduction, and how sexuality is connected within humans, their worlds and the human experience lead me to say that it depends on many factors, not the least of which is the definition of "is".


Cheers !

 

[StinkyPinky]

I wonder what age most guys lose their cherry? I know the "surveys" say it's around 17, but we all know half of them are lying. Do I think being a virgin is a virtue? Nah, not really. Do I look up to them and admire their stance? Nah, not really. Do I respect their decision to be a virgin? Sure do. Sex is overhyped anyway. Blame Hollywood.

Oh yeah, and I agree that the late mother theresa should have minded her own business. What business did she have talking about something she was forbidden to experience?

 

[Centaur6]

Judjing by the fact that over 40% of votes went to "yes", i think it's safe to assume that some people need to get out more

 

[irrigating]

Why put off till tomarrow, what you can do today?

 

[Siddhartha]

Consensual sexual behavior is not evil. Personally I would rather date, spend time, be intimate with a woman who has experience than a virgin. It is more likely she will know how to enjoy herself and enjoy spending time with me. And it is more likely she will be more mature in general.

Good lord can you imagine being a 30 year old or older virgin?

I just do not see the magic in being a virgin or being intimate with one.

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
"Virginity is a lovely thing. It is the greatest gift a man and woman can give one another. The husband and wife, who consimate their marriage on their wedding night, will grow in love for each other." ~Mother Theresa

Don't know if that makes it a virtue, but still...

You are quoting a nun as expert on sexuality? That is like quoting the Taleban on the value of education for girls.

 

[Siddhartha]

Is there anyone who is not a virgin think that it is a virture?

 

[EdipisReks]

virginity as a virtue is a concept taken from standard Judeo-Christian dogma. as an Atheist of the second kind and a Secular Humanist, i find this concept to be silly and stupid. why would avoiding something that is natural and enjoyable be a virtue?

 

[vladgur]

Originally posted by: Eli

Originally posted by: Skoorb
Only if you're young and think that virginity is the most important thing in the world. As you grow up you wonder "God, why was I waiting?".

Perhaps.. I don't think I'll have that problem, though. Our first time was wonderful... Couldn't have gone any better. I don't think I'll have any regrets as life goes on, even if my girlfriend and I don't spend the rest of our lives together.

Our first time? Are you sure she was a virgin?

 

[Peetoeng]

Originally posted by: Dr Smooth

Originally posted by: SaltBoy
"Virginity is a lovely thing. It is the greatest gift a man and woman can give one another. The husband and wife, who consimate their marriage on their wedding night, will grow in love for each other." ~Mother Theresa

Don't know if that makes it a virtue, but still...

You are quoting a nun as expert on sexuality? That is like quoting the Taleban on the value of education for girls.

No, he's not. He's quoting a nun on chastity.