Poll: Leaning a chair back onto two legs (when you're a guest at someone's house) is:

[TallBill]

Originally posted by: SlitheryDee
It's not something I would advise doing, but I don't see it as bad manners because it can happen sort of inadvertently. In a close hand of poker I might be so astonished at the cards I draw that the only thing I can do to keep my pokerface is lean back somewhat, lifting the front two legs of the chair without realizing what I'm doing. Someone might tell an extremely good joke, sending me into gales of laughter and causing me to rock backwards in my chair to catch my breath. It's something that can happen without you meaning to do it, which is why I don't think it's bad manners in a relaxed setting. Having everyone feeling like they should be watching everything they're doing takes away from the enjoyment of the occasion and should be avoided by any good host.

Well said. It's not like people make a concious decision to lean back.

 

[Cattlegod]

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: Cattlegod
to those who voted perfectly fine: how about if i take my friends car up on 2 wheels and crash it because 2 of the wheels buckled in, is that bad manners or expected use?

What if I lean back a chair because a baby girl is falling from a bookshelf and I have to lean back to catch her? IS THAT BAD MANNERS?!

yes that is bad manners. proper manners would be to turn 90 degrees in the chair and extend your arms behind the back of the chair to catch the baby. otherwise you put the baby at more risk if you catch the baby while on two legs. the impact may cause the chair legs to break and kill both you and the baby. not to mention a broken chair.

 

[AreaCode707]

Given the 70/30 results right now, leaners may want to be attentive to the fact that 70% of their hosts are probably going to think them bad-mannered.

 

[TallBill]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Given the 70/30 results right now, leaners may want to be attentive to the fact that 70% of their hosts are probably going to think them bad-mannered.

Meh, people who think that it is bad manners are more inclined to click on the thread and vote.

 

[meltdown75]

leaning back on 2 legs in a chair is something a fidgety idiot little 8-yr old does.

adults do not do this. maybe adult retards.

 

[Gothgar]

not really bad manners, but it is showing disrespect to someone elses property

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: TallBill

Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Given the 70/30 results right now, leaners may want to be attentive to the fact that 70% of their hosts are probably going to think them bad-mannered.

Meh, people who think that it is bad manners are more inclined to click on the thread and vote.

Given AT's tendency to polarize and argue over dumb little stuff to the death I disagree, but even granting that and saying it's 50/50, still a pretty high percentage.

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: her209
I think if the angle of the lean is less than 30 degrees, its fine.

Now I have a mental image of the host with a protractor, double checking.

"31 degrees. Too far! Too far!!"

Some chairs have angled legs to begin with so you have to account for those.

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: lokiju

It's not expected but that shouldn't mean it's bad manners IMO.

it is if the host has asked you to not do it and you keep it up. how many times will your boss ask you to stop doing something before it gets to be an order? not exactly the same thing, but same concept.

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: TallBill

Originally posted by: SlitheryDee
It's not something I would advise doing, but I don't see it as bad manners because it can happen sort of inadvertently. In a close hand of poker I might be so astonished at the cards I draw that the only thing I can do to keep my pokerface is lean back somewhat, lifting the front two legs of the chair without realizing what I'm doing. Someone might tell an extremely good joke, sending me into gales of laughter and causing me to rock backwards in my chair to catch my breath. It's something that can happen without you meaning to do it, which is why I don't think it's bad manners in a relaxed setting. Having everyone feeling like they should be watching everything they're doing takes away from the enjoyment of the occasion and should be avoided by any good host.

Well said. It's not like people make a concious decision to lean back.

theres a difference in these situations and someone leaning back for an extended period of time. two of my kids do it constantly at my moms house and she hates it. she reminds them not to lean back, and they forget after a period of time. eventually it becomes an issue and they are told (instead of reminded) to not lean back in the chairs. weird thing is they dont do the same at home. mebbe they are doiing it to piss off gramma lol.

the situations listed, id not even mention the lean back. if we were playing cards and someone leaned the chair back and left it like that while everyone else was betting, id be all "put the damn chair down, asshole". after all, its a casual setting. i had some antique cherry wood chairs for a while, 3 got broken by drunks leaning back in them. they werent like sentimental items or anything and i got them for free, but still. they were fairly nice.

 

[Aikouka]

You should try and avoid any activity that will damage an item, but sometimes people tend to forget where they are and feel "at home" in a way, which is also (usually) a good thing (says something about your hospitality... or that they're a freeloader).

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: Cattlegod
to those who voted perfectly fine: how about if i take my friends car up on 2 wheels and crash it because 2 of the wheels buckled in, is that bad manners or expected use?

What if I lean back a chair because a baby girl is falling from a bookshelf and I have to lean back to catch her? IS THAT BAD MANNERS?!

Yes. It's bad manners to let your baby girl climb on other people's bookshelves.

You shouldn't damage other people's property just because you haven't taught your kids any manners...


Dining room chairs are built to be used with all 4 legs firmly on the floor. They physically are not designed for use tipped back. MOST have a weak connection between the rear legs and the seat, which is not built to withstand the stress of having a person's weight cantilevered from that point.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Aikouka
You should try and avoid any activity that will damage an item, but sometimes people tend to forget where they are and feel "at home" in a way, which is also (usually) a good thing (says something about your hospitality... or that they're a freeloader).

For my friend, you hit the nail on the head. The chair leaning wouldn't bother me nearly so much if he hadn't already broken my dining room table, mooches food and drink, and basically thinks he can get away with it because he gives a guilty little smile. He's actually more unmannered than bad manners; he simply has never been told that most of these things are poor behavior.

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: Aikouka
You should try and avoid any activity that will damage an item, but sometimes people tend to forget where they are and feel "at home" in a way, which is also (usually) a good thing (says something about your hospitality... or that they're a freeloader).

For my friend, you hit the nail on the head. The chair leaning wouldn't bother me nearly so much if he hadn't already broken my dining room table, mooches food and drink, and basically thinks he can get away with it because he gives a guilty little smile. He's actually more unmannered than bad manners; he simply has never been told that most of these things are poor behavior.

Sounds to me like your "friend" needs some serious "wall-to-wall education," and perhaps some "counseling by hand." (or baseball bat)

 

[skyking]

I think the age of the respondent would be telling for your poll. Most older folks were taught that it was disrespectful in a contemptuous way, not just about breaking things or damaging the floor or risking falling back, which are all legitimate concerns.
We had an uptight science teacher in Jr. High who had a penchant for sneaking up on people and slamming down his aluminum meter stick on the desk behind them if they were:
1)Talking in class.
2)sleeping.
3) leaning back in a chair.
He did it to a kid was doing #2 and #3. The kid fell back and cracked his head open on the desk behind him, and the teacher got his ass chewed! This teacher was a real piece of work, with a humoungus black and white angry unibrow. He looked pissed all the time quite naturally

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: Aikouka
You should try and avoid any activity that will damage an item, but sometimes people tend to forget where they are and feel "at home" in a way, which is also (usually) a good thing (says something about your hospitality... or that they're a freeloader).

For my friend, you hit the nail on the head. The chair leaning wouldn't bother me nearly so much if he hadn't already broken my dining room table, mooches food and drink, and basically thinks he can get away with it because he gives a guilty little smile. He's actually more unmannered than bad manners; he simply has never been told that most of these things are poor behavior.

Sounds to me like your "friend" needs some serious "wall-to-wall education," and perhaps some "counseling by hand." (or baseball bat)

If it was me I just would never invite him over, but I live with a bunch of roommates who are also friends with him. Simple avoidance gets tricky, and asking the roommates to also not invite him over makes me look like a bitch. Of course, I still have a $100 repair on my dining room table outstanding.

My initial question was less about my friend and more about generic leaning with no history attached.

 

[imported_Imp]

Bad manners, but who gives a shit. It's bad manners anywhere. Good manners is you sitting with back straight, arms resting in your laps and you making eye contact.

 

[TallBill]

Originally posted by: BoomerD

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: Aikouka
You should try and avoid any activity that will damage an item, but sometimes people tend to forget where they are and feel "at home" in a way, which is also (usually) a good thing (says something about your hospitality... or that they're a freeloader).

For my friend, you hit the nail on the head. The chair leaning wouldn't bother me nearly so much if he hadn't already broken my dining room table, mooches food and drink, and basically thinks he can get away with it because he gives a guilty little smile. He's actually more unmannered than bad manners; he simply has never been told that most of these things are poor behavior.

Sounds to me like your "friend" needs some serious "wall-to-wall education," and perhaps some "counseling by hand." (or baseball bat)

lol @ the 4 people who will get this

 

[SlitheryDee]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707
Given the 70/30 results right now, leaners may want to be attentive to the fact that 70% of their hosts are probably going to think them bad-mannered.

Your poll choices are polar opposites. It's certainly not "perfectly fine/expected use", but it's also not "Bad Manners!". I would put it as "forgivable in certain situations, bad manners in others", which I think would suck up more of the votes than either of the other choices.

 

[BrokenVisage]

Not only is it fine.. it's a $250 fine, at least for one ATOTer who broke the chair heh.