Post stories of your crazy or "whacked out" professors and teachers ;)

[Farbio]

i've had a few whacked out teachers, although the best was my hs physics teacher. seems you have to be kinda nuts or something to teach physics i guess. anyways, he opens the first day of class telling us how he hates people sleeping in class and how he used to deal w/ this when he taught college. seems he was a pitcher when he was in college and whenever he saw a kid sleeping in class he'd take a piece of chalk or an eraser and sidearm the thing to hit the kid in the top of the head, said he never missed till one day. he was going to throw the chalk at this kid, has his arm cock and let it fly...just as the kid was sitting up and yawning, well u can guess...piece of chalk went right down his mouth and the kid sat there gagging on it as the prof passed out from shock. this guy was also a lil kookie and hated chalk boards and for some reason the walls in his room seemed alot fresher painted than the rest of the hall where the class was. we found out that reason eventually....when he got into a lecture or something, and was doing solutions and stuff, he wouldn't stop on the board, but we had those dry erase boards and markers...he just kept right on going onto the walls....have u ever heard a class go absolutely dead silent from amazement? so that was physics...

in freshman year, we had an honors colloqium and one of the ongoing series was a philosophy lecture. the prof spent most of the time arguing as to how we know what reality is, and what it is and all that stuff. so at the end of the semester, he had us take a final and he got up on the stage w/ a wooden chair and told us 'there is a wooden chair on the stage, tell me about it' i got up about a min later, turned in my essay and walked out. a few days later we could go get our papers...i had written simply 'what chair' and on it he wrote 'excellent, the only A'. man, philosophy is fvcked up

 

[Marty]

You sure about that farbio?

I've heard that story before, its more of a legend...

Marty

 

[PCAddict]

I had a 5th grade teacher that smacked kids around, including me once. It's a shame they could get away with it back then.

I had an English teacher in high school (who I consider one of the best I ever had) who frequently used the F-word in class and often spoke his mind about other members of the faculty. He'd scream and curse when the bell rang to signal the end of class if he wasn't finished his discussion. It was funny.

 

[randomlinh]

my english teacher was like that, minus the cussing. He made a lot of subtle sexual remarks too, hilarious.

 

[NFS4]

I had a shop teacher (married with two kids) that would talk about his nightly trips down to Dockside Dolls (a nearby strip club).

 

[SuperGroove]

The first year of Earth Science, the school has just switched teachers. The old earth science teacher went to teach Bio, and we got stuck with the new guy. He was in the navy early in his life, and just gotten out of college. Well first thing we noticed about this guy...Craters on his face everywhere. We were a class that didn't say anything about stuff like that. Much. Anyways....he was a weird teacher. In about one hour, he'd go from ecstatic, to p.o'ed, to depressed, and finally a joker. Well the joker part of him kicked in when the girl who sat next to me asked if she could be excused to go to the restroom. The teacher responded by saying, "Why, so you can change your tampon?" The room went dead silent. After school we could hear quite a discussion in the principal's office between the parents and the principal himself. The next day...my teacher seemed...less exhuberant. Hehe.

The next year we had him the school assigned him to Physical Science. Oh no! Well the school had also received some money for school supplies. The day he got his new chair, he went crazy. "Hard and fast!" he said as he hopped up and down in his chair. His wife teaches at the school. When they walk by each other in the halls...ew. Their kids go to the school. Ew.

At the school I go to now, our Physics Teacher is, hands down, the most...well let's just say he's unique. You could never tell if he was mad, or happy. You never knew when to laugh. It was just weird. He often pretended to be asleep just to see who was ditching class. He also had many amusing stores. The weirdest ones included his stories with cows. One of them I remembered, and stayed awake during, included him and his buddies going out with their shotguns. They came across a dead cow that was starting to decompose. Well they pumped their shot gun, and one shot from one of the guys sent cow parts flying, much like in Three Kings.

When Prom time came around, it was time for the dreaded Prom Lecture that had a reputation. Well, 1 hour and 20 minutes into the class, we all wondered...where was the prom lecture? What? He might go one and a half hours without mentioning, Drugs, sexs, and rock and roll? Well the last ten minutes go interesting. The whole lecture built up to alcohol. Copier Toner will make you go blind, and kill you like that, I remember. Jet Fuel well make your insides just go haywire, and you will go blind...and die. Well in those ten minutes, he went from passing the bottles of the stuff that'll supposedly kill us, to ending the lecture with, "Have a nice day.".

BTW...maybe some of you know him. He's a teacher in Colorado...that's all I'll say, because maybe he reads these boards. I often read the boards before class starts, and I think he sees me.

Pa...Peter...yea...Peter...Lee


Edit: Oh yea...Freshmen year, I had just gotten myself in the school spelling bee. The winner of the Spelling Bee would go on to state championship. Well first word I got was, "Kamikaze". Fine I though, but the teacher goes on to say, "You should know how to spell this word." Ain't bad? I was the only Asian in the school. The school auditorium went quiet. She just dug herself in deeper by saying, "Well he should know, I mean, he knows stuff about Pearl Harbor...I mean...blah blah". She also is known to have said, there are too many minorities in Colorado. Bah humbug.

 

[WombatWoman]

I spent my junior year as a scholarship student (the token poor kid) at a girls' prep school in Illinois. It was a small school, and my physics class had just eight girls in it (physics was not very popular that year, I guess.) Our teacher was a wonderful, brilliant old guy named Dr. Heider. He also taught chemistry, On his right hand, Dr. Heider had only one finger and a thumb, as a result of a long-ago experiment involving sodium metal that apparently had not gone as planned. Dr. Heider spoke with a thick German accent. To this day, I cannot see the movie "Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" without thinking of Dr. Heider, my own personal Mad Scientist.

 

[stomp]

One of my Computer Science professors had a real problem with her "Uhms".

They were not "Okay, uhm, here we do this." They were "Okay, AAAUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH weUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH willUHHHHH create theUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Simply said, I timed the first two lectures: 2 and a half hour lectures each yielding 15 minutes of "UHHHH". They were frickin loud, noticable, 5-20 seconds apart. She got better as the class got on... but still!

She was a real nice lady though... she REALLY knew her CS too!

 

[Mday]

i remember when i took calc. it was junior year in HS, BC. the teacher tried to be hip and kept saying "my bad" every time he erred. needless to say there was more than ONE grey hair on his head.

in JHS, my class was out of control. I mean some of my fellow students were just :|. in 6th grade, my english teacher had to leave because of a problem with her pregnancy (i am pretty sure the baby was fine). But she returned by the end of the school year and the class was still out of control. She went nuts (rightly so) and exploded, calling us a bunch opf "sneaks." of course the classroom was near our homeroom, and my homeroom teacher and her were good friends... ouch, that was crazy 3 years... and this was one of those SP classes... as in the "smart kids." and guess what, this being NYC, brooklyn, 25 of the kids were average. and being overcrowded, about a handful of us were smart. me being one of them i suppose. the strange thing was, we had a different homeroom teacher every year... of the 3 years...

 

[Aquaman]

I've not had any whacky teachers but I once had a 10th grade Spanish teacher and he was reciting some spanish phrases during a particularly hot June day. We had the windows opened and this HUMONGOUS Wasp started to fly around him. Without batting an eye he swat the wasp with his right hand and stompped on it with his left foot.

Also my 12th grade Advanced Math teacher did some 'moonlighting' on a commercial for a Bingo parlor. Needless to say he was known as 'Mr. Bingo' after that.

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[HardTech]

My last year homeroom and Algebra/Geometry teacher got fired this year for having sex with MANY of the students.. like giving them keys to her house because they often "babysat for her kids"

Also, this year's Bio sub was really cool. We had to take a huge chapter test, and he was like "I'm not going to condone it, but I don't care if you guys cheat"

People were screaming out questions and answers, and he just laughed. Haha, that was cool

This year, my physics teacher was a young fellow who played in a Jazz band. He invited me to many of his sessions because I play in the school jazz band as well, and he got embarassed when I called him Mr. White in front of his band members

People like that make school fun to go to.

 

[Farbio]

marty, may or may not have been true...the physics prof was a pretty damn good sidearmer....he could hit a piece of paper on the back side of the room w/out really trying....

 

[arcain]

Farbio, I believe Marty was referring to the Chair Story. I've heard it somewhere before also.

I had a very strange Spanish teacher in High School. She was originally a nun (nothing special/strange about that, I went to a Catholic High School). One day she got into a car accident, and ended up in the hospital. While she was recovering from her injuries, she had a vision. In her vision, the Virgin Mary came to her a told her to come to my school and teach. At the time she lived on the East Coast, and the high school was in Southern California. She told this to the parents during Back to School night. Needless to say, she didn't stay very long as our Spanish professor.

 

[Paco21]

I once had a chemistry professor who would say the f word in lecture occasionally. It was a big lecture course and it would just come out of his mouth, almost like he didnt mean to say it. The first few times the whole lecture was so shocked that nobody really reacted, until our TA mentioned it later. He would also write words like sex and ass on the blackboard.

I had a French teacher that would put his hands in his pockets and play around during class. We used to joke that he was playing pinball.

Finally I had a history professor that was giving a lecture and the janitor was getting the trash outside the lecture hall. After doing so he stood in the door of the lecture hall. He had only been there for like 2 seconds when the history prof ran over to him and tackled him and started beating the crap out of him. Apparently he didnt like auditors.

 

[NFS4]

<< The teacher responded by saying, &quot;Why, so you can change your tampon?&quot; >>


LOL. If I were her, I would have slapped him in the face

 

[Passions]

my 8th grade history teacher was a vietnam vet, and he usually smoked out with some of my friends. haha, he was really relaxed guy. we would often have paper fights, and once we got all the chairs and made 2 forts on each side of the room and threw paper and mortars just like vietnam. that guy was seriously nuts.

my hs chemistry teacher, asked for our final what we wanted to do and all of us said lets have a party. so he said ok. and i brought in mortal kombat. and we all watched it with popcorn, all the while everyone else was taking finals. hahaha.

my hs spanish teacher would often teach catholicism with her own version. she would go on and on preaching about it, seriously did not make any sense either.

 

[NFS4]

Well, Cojo was at it again today. More pools of drool forming on her lips as she spoke She was even dancing around the class today.

Everyone was wrestless, so about an hour through the class period, a clown in the back row asked if we could take a mental break. Then he said tell us a story, preferably of the Woodstock days.

He shouldn't have said that Instead of Woodstock, we got a 7 minute long story about the NSA and the FBI what was more confusing and boring than the lecture material

 

[Imaginer]

There was a few teachers I admire and find interesting.

My US History teacher, bless her, she taught descriptively and held a wonderful atmosphere in her room. Sadly, I think she will stop teaching the AP class because of her condition and would teach a regular class.

Another one was a Calculus teacher. Always her eyes were on the ceiling and she kept blinking from time to time. She taught us well and I had no problem with the class. From time to time, a problem is on a board as an example and she always declares it as &quot;my favorite problem&quot;.

And in Computer Science 2, I had to go through a crash course in the basics of C++. I had learned Pascal in CS1. And they changed languages because most universities switched too. Oh well. I lived. Anyway, the teacher was cool. Lets us play Unreal Tournament with each other. Unbelievable internet surfing too! And we even included bots in our games. One of them was godlike and a student decided to name that bot after out teacher. :Q The teacher even actually participated in a game. But I only heard this.

My art teacher was also cool. Especially in Art 3. She lets me spend time after so I can work. She has this burst of energy and kindness which I like. I sometimes get on her nerves though in a good way.

 

[Tiger]

My highschool physics teacher was a closet motorhead.
This guy looked like the prototype science geek, short, horn rim glasses, pocket protector, etc....

One day, near the end of class, one of the guys starts up a &quot;my ride is hotter than your ride&quot; discussion. Mr. Huss is listening in and I suppose his hidden &quot;Mr.Hyde&quot; just couldn't take it anymore. He whipped out some pictures of his 1970 426 hemi, dual quad, 425hp, Plymouth Super Bird. We sat in stunned silence. Here's this guy who drives a POS VW beetle to school, and owns a full size wagon for the wife to drive, showing us one of God's original muscle cars sitting in his garage. :Q

He drove it to school for the next class and he used it as an &quot;Audio Visual Aid&quot; in his lesson about acceleration and velocity.

Never judge a book by it's cover.

 

[NFS4]

<< He drove it to school for the next class and he used it as an &quot;Audio Visual Aid&quot; in his lesson about acceleration and velocity.
>>


Did he peel rubber in the school parking lot? ;D

 

[EverClear]

Whacked out profs? arnt they all alittle whacked out.

The most memorable was a econ prof. that had a habit of beating me to happy hour andf staying later than even the most hard core students. many a night a student would give him a couch to crash on or a ride home. Soon it was apperant that on monday morning there would be no class and on friday anything after noon was canceled. This being a summer session there was a relaxed atmosphere inthe class especially after half the class was reguarly doing shots with the prof. On the day of our final he came in with the exam gave it out and than was like hey lets go to Librerty and get started early. The thing he didnt know was that the FBI was waiting in his office and there would be no happy hours for a few years. Thats what selling Coke to students and keeping recorde on the schools laptop will do for ya

True Story

 

[chess9]

One of my graduate school profs was nicknamed &quot;Foggy&quot;. He would often stop mid-sentence and stare out the window. About 15 seconds later he would come to and say: &quot;Uh, what was I saying?&quot; One time he was on vacation with his wife and two kids when he stopped for gas in rural Kentucky. His wife and kids went to the bathroom while he pumped the gas. When he finished pumping, he got in the car and drove off. The Kentucky State Highway Patrol stopped him about 2 hours later and suggested he go back and get his family!

He was a great teacher, a great human being, and very smart. I still remember him fondly.

Another great teacher was my high school English teacher, Dr. Cleo Sawyer. She was simply brilliant. The class was tougher than most college Freshman Composition classes. She expected everyone to turn out to be Wolfe, Steinbeck, or Chaucer. She had an annual contest for which the students were expected to write a poem in the style of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. Upon announcing the contest she would read the poem of an earlier student who went on to Harvard and was killed in Korea. The poem was better than Chaucer's version, in my not so humble opinion, but, then, he stood on broad shoulders.

 

[DataFly]

My 6th grade Spanish teacher was one of the most insane people I have ever met. She would scream at the top of her lungs if anyone made any noise at all. If anyone gave her any kind of trouble, she would send them straight to the principals office, despite the many times the principal asked her to step outside in the middle of class, presumably to tell her that she couldn't send them to her for that. These &quot;meetings&quot; usually produced a lot of screaming. Obviously, she doesn't teach there any more.

My history teacher last year always joked around and was a pretty good teacher. One day he didn't show up for class until it was almost half over. He said this demonstrated how society without order never gets anything done. He did this sort of thing throughout the year, making one of the most boring subjects, IMHO, interesting.

The teacher of my summer physics class is another interesting physics teacher. He always jokes around and makes fun of the more vocal students in the class, who often return the favor and make fun of him. We use toys instead of lab equipment and he also donates his car, which we haven't harmed...yet, for acceleration and velocity labs. His liscense plate is MR FIZX. It's certainly very refreshing and makes the five hour class go by quicker.