Post stories of your crazy or "whacked out" professors and teachers ;)

[NFS4]

I've always had pretty "normal" teachers with the exception of two:

My 10th grade and 12th grade teacher (A.G. English and A.P. English) used to blink her eyes constantly. She'd just be looking at you and go into a blinking fury. Everyone used to call her Blinky We later found out that this was a result of a nasty encounter with a pack of dogs when she was a child:Q

Anyway, halfway through our 10th grade year, she doesn't show up for class. After about 30mins of sitting by ourselves, a sub comes in and says that our teacher won't be back for a few weeks or so (actually a whole month). Turns out that her husband left her and she had a nervous breakdown. When she did come back, boy was she in rare form She was very emotional after that and would cry easily. You could raise the tone of your voice ever so slightly and she would burst into tears:Q

One day during lunch, I was the last to leave the class, and she stopped me and talked to me. She told me this horrible story of her gay brother and how he blew his brains out for lack of acceptance. Needless to say, I didn't eat lunch that day.

The second one started today with a Calculus class I'm taking this summer. The lady didn't even introduce herself as she walked in the door. She just burst in and threw down her books and started furiously writing on the chalkboard. Well, I pay no attention and just keep on writing (took 10 pages of notes in 2 hours:Q). She starts spouting off formulas to us and in between mumbles "that was until I was strangled." Everyone turned to each other and was like WTF!!!!!!!! She then keeps on talking and we all manage to get back to work. About 15 mins later she's spouting off something else and between formulas says "good thing I have these balls inside me". WTF!!!??!?!?! as we all burst into laughter She explains a few minutes later that she has balls in her stomach/midsection to help her breath and what not. OhhhhhhhK. About half way through the class, she starts foaming at the mouth--no joke!!! I felt that I was staring at Cojo! Foam started forming at the corners of her mouth as she talked, and then made their way into a pool at the center of her lips. Then like a serpant, she licked the foam and I almost vomited in the chick's lap next to me.

Later on, she's erasing something of the chalk board and brushed up against the edge of it with the eraser and emits a high pitched squeal and drops the eraser. Again, we are at a loss for words.

Oh my is this gonna be a long 5 weeks

 

[dennilfloss]

Boy, am I glad none of my students are on OT.

So Much To Say (Dave Matthews Band)

 

[NFS4]

I didn't know that you were a teacher Dennil; what do you teach?

DMB is my favorite band by the way

 

[kranky]

Two stories:

I had an odd guy for Philosophy of Human Existance way back when. We did precious little work, the whole grade was based on one paper and the final. About 3 weeks before the final, he came in 15 minutes late and announced he had just gotten out of a meeting with the Dean and got turned down for a promotion.

He was angry and said we would all get an A if we satisfied the requirement for the final, which was to write a 3-page take-home paper on one of three topics: your opinion of the American educational system, your opinion of America's involvement in Vietnam, or choose your own topic.

How could you go wrong there? Everyone wrote a paper, everyone got an A. My roommate chose his own topic: The True Origins of the Earth. I can still remember the beginning, which was "The Earth is part of a giant chair."

Second one was a English prof I had for The Novel. First, I do not understand analyzing literature. My position is that if the author wanted to tell the reader something, he/she should come right out and tell me! Don't make me fight to understand it, because my brain doesn't work like that. I love to read, but...

So my dismal performance led to a failing grade. No problem, I took it again. Failed again. Third time: I was arguing my typical position of "How do you KNOW that's what the writer meant?" which was a real downer for the rest of the class, when he said "Can't you just play along here? You've been here three times, just play along and pass!"
So I pretended to grasp the hidden meanings in the stories, he pretended that I did it well enough, and I got a B.

 

[RSI]

Holy crap NFS4, you had some pretty messed up teachers!! So far all my teachers were normal.. well, some were fatasses, and some were strict/etc, but nothing out of the ordinary...

-RSI

 

[NFS4]

LOL kranky @ the last story

 

[JoeKing]

NFS4,
Sneak a camera into your math class man, Post some pictures of this pitbull teacher

 

[dennilfloss]

NFS4,

I teach Palaeontology, a 2nd year undergraduate course. They've just changed the curriculum and the course has been downgraded from 5 credits to 3 credits. The section on vertebrates just went POOF! :| No more dinosaurs, fish, pterosaurs, ichthyosaurs, etc..., only invertebrates from now on. And I used to teach it in French and English. Now the two languages will alternate from year to year; My paycheck just went down 70%.

Nothing Changes (The Moody Blues)

 

[CatWoman]

I was in a orchestra class (in the 6th and 7th grade) and our teacher use to throw the music stands across the room when he would get mad at us. Another teacher of ours was in playboy. Blind as a bad she was, but had knockers the size of watermelons. She was 60ish when I was in 9th--8 or so years ago.
Rumor has it that someone found her pictures, taped on of them to a pull down map, and when she opened it later that day-everyone saw, and she ran out of the room crying.

 

[Sukhoi]

Well, I have several (I hope) funny stories of my Physical Science Honors teacher. First off he walks down the hall whistling entire symphonies.. He also gets quite emotional about phyiscs in class sometimes...one time he was really going at it banging this wooden pointer around in a metal garbage can, when the pointer broke in half, and flew 10 feet across the room landing at my feet. He walked over, picked it up, and continued teaching without saying anything about what he had just done. Another time he decided not to come to school, but he kind of forgot to tell administration about it. Since I was in one of the morning classes, we didn't have a teacher for 48 mins. The guy had this huge closet in the back of the room that he would never let anyone look in, so of course we immediately looked around in the closet. He has a cool static electricity machine in there that can generate several hundred thousand volts. After looking around for a while, someone went back to their locker and got a pack of cards so the rest of us either played poker or talked for the rest of class. That guy could also draw perfect freehand circles.

We also have this really old (he's like 80) substitute teacher that works in our school system. In 7th grade I had him for English one day. We were supposed to go over a test and do a worksheet or something like that. Well, the sub decided he didn't want to do that, so he spent 45 minutes giving us a lecture on how to properly speak in public.

My World History teacher used to get really excitied about the subject matter. He almost had a heart attack the day he talked about Hannibal's war elephants falling off the mountains and landing on little Swiss cottages as the people were drinking hot chocolate.

My Biology Honors teacher used to play Close Combat II on his computer during lab days. This is kind of sad, but in 5th grade my teacher died about 3 weeks into the school year. Thats all I can think of for now.

 

[Prince of Persia]

I had this really cool science teacher in middle school. He hooked up a pickel to an electric circuit and electrocuted it until it got on fire.

He also use to burn his arm hairs to teach the class about diffusion. It worked!

 

[Sukhoi]

Kranky, I agree 100% about analyzing literature! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! If the author wants us to know something, he will tell us plain and clear. I read plenty of Clancy books and I never have to sit there and analyze them to figure out what he is saying. I remember reading Julius Ceasar and my English teacher would just sit there saying how this line obviously means this, etc., and I could never figure out how she figured that stuff out. And why do we need so much dang English? It will do nothing for my career. I'd be much better off taking AP Statistics than spending English IV learning about British literature.

 

[NFS4]

<< Rumor has it that someone found her pictures, taped on of them to a pull down map, and when she opened it later that day-everyone saw, and she ran out of the room crying. >>


Muahahahahaha

 

[Mday]

7th grade, history.

the teacher never collected any of the 5 homeworks given out in the entire school year. we had one test the entire year.

he forgot he even had a class on several occasions. one of which was DEFINITELY spent smoking. smoking what, I am hoping cigarettes.

and guess what, i actually like history

 

[Mday]

sukhoi, LOL... you know what they say about the ones that can do perfect freehand circles... LOL

 

[reggie3]

I had a music teacher in elementary school who used to spit on the floor when he felt like it. Of course we all thought that it was pretty gross, but we were just kids. He would also ask some kid to come and sit on his knee while he was lecturing us from his piano chair. Didn't think anything of it at the time of course. Finally, when I get to high school it turns out that him and his wife were arrested as a couple of pedophiles (they had moved to a different district).
Then there was the high school science teacher that was having affairs with his female students.

 

[Sukhoi]

Mday, he's about 75.

 

[Praetor]

Where I went to high school, our first year Physics classes were broken up into two parts: The actual physics lab and a lecture where you learned the theories and math behind it all. Fun stuff.

My lab teacher was one of the coolest guys I've ever met. 25ish, he was also the girls basketball coach. There were days where we'd just goof off and end up hanging ourselves up in chairs hanging from the ceiling via pulleys and levers. It was just fun.. But to the point of all this.

My lecture teacher, he was a trip. He'd just go on and on about all the stuff that had happened to him. Like the time that he was working on the wiring above a lightbulb with a screwdriver in his mouth. (he was holding it there while working on something else up there) That's when he touched a live wire, bit down on the screwdriver, BROKE the screwdriver and flew across the room. He lived. Then there was the story about how he fell from the 4th story of a building and lived. I mean, this guy would go on and on about some of this stuff. And we could get him to just keep going on about it, rather than actually do the work we were supposed to do. A group of us in the back actually started to just play poker or checkers while he went on. He was cool.

2nd year Physics combined the classes to one. The first time the teacher walked in, he said &quot;I've got a masters in teaching and a major in bio (or something like that). I don't know anything about physics. But we're going to learn together.&quot; Needless to say, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be in that class.

 

[ltk007]

I had a teacher with an arm tick. One time she smacked a kid in the face, sent him flying out of the chair. He had a bloody nose and had to go to the nurse. It was hilarious, I know the teacher was embarassed and we felt bad for her. She couldn't help it.

 

[NFS4]

<< One time she smacked a kid in the face, sent him flying out of the chair. He had a bloody nose and had to go to the nurse. >>


Nowadays, people sue for that kinda stuff

 

[Pennstate]

My high school chem teacher once ran a thermite reaction. Things began dripping from the ceiling after the reaction. She did not realize that she had carried out the reaction under the American flag. The nylon flag burned and the melted flag was dripping onto the lab bench.

 

[dennilfloss]

<< One time she smacked a kid in the face, sent him flying out of the chair. He had a bloody nose and had to go to the nurse. >>

We need more teachers like this...to teach our kids some values and discipline. Tolerance as well.

Love In The First Degree (Alabama)

 

[marketsons1985]

My only &quot;whacked out&quot; teacher was my history teacher.
She'd give everyone the wrong grades!
I got an A- on her exam,
got the report card,
&quot;D&quot;!!!
WTF!!!!????

 

[mAdD INDIAN]

hehe..I've had an english teacher that faked a heart-attack. Probably to see what the student's reaction were.

Also, I have known a teacher that would swear occasionally in class and diss the network admins in the school. He was a good teacher though..taught stuff properly with funny analogies.

 

[AMDJunkie]

My seventh and eighth grade science teacher. He was clueless! He would frequently state the opposite of what was in the textbook, could not keep a class in order, (the majority of my classmates just made a racket and goofed off in his class) and worst of all, he lost one of my lab reports twice (which is why I got a &quot;B&quot; twice in a class I usually get 98 in). Another was my algebra teacher. She was the very moody and I just hated how she taught the curriculum. She tried to make us figure out the formula by ourselves and did not give us proper examples to do the homework for the night. I had a terrible time and I can?t remember a single blasted formula now.