after finals i am going to try to secure a saturday or a sunday off of work (this will be hard during the holidays im sure) and go out, dance and let myself get messy for once. i deny myself things (like getting drunk or f*ck, these days just staying out all night) because its always "i have school or no money or work, i can't" but i think at this point i need to have fun because i am forgetting how.