Post your chat with A.L.I.C.E here! (Chat Interface A.I.)

[FoBoT]

Human: who was nef?
ALICE: Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
You tell me.
Human: no, who was nef?
ALICE: Are you serious? No one that I have talked to.
Does it have anything to do with nef nef?
Human: bling bling
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: man
ALICE: Thanks for telling me your gender, unknown person. You are a " he".
Human: i like big butts and i cannot lie
ALICE: What is wrong with small ones? Why can't you do it?
Human: look into my eyes, you are getting sleepy, very very sleepy
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Human: the moon is made of green cheese
ALICE: Thanks for teaching me that important fact.
Human: what did you have for dinner?
ALICE: I require only electricity.
Human: nuclear power rocks!
ALICE: Can we get back to business?
Human: lets get busy!
ALICE: That sounds good to me.

 

[Evadman]

Originally posted by: flexy
i had ELIZA programs already in the early 80s...i cant believe people are still impressed with it in 2004

We have one at work too. It sits in a chair second space over from a window, next to Megan. It is certainly smart, but I can tell it is a 'bot. It always asks the same questions. Must have a write to disk error.

 

[bigredguy]

Human: who was the 42nd president
ALICE: Bill Clinton.
Human: who was the 44th president
ALICE: George W. Bush.
Human: who was the 45th president
ALICE: George W. Bush.
Human: who was the 99th president
ALICE: George W. Bush.


NOOOOO!!!!!! We are doomed.....



Human: what is your IQ
ALICE: My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Human: what was the cause of the civil war
ALICE: I can think of more than one cause of the civil war.
Human: name one
ALICE: Santa Claus.



it all makes sense now

 

[xcript]

Human: Wtf?
ALICE: That was not very polite.
Human: STFU
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about ITB.

 

[Chebago]

...
Human: what's yours?
ALICE:" What is your fondest memory?"? What is mine?
Human: yes
ALICE: This was not a yes or no question.
Human: you first
ALICE: I started already.
Human: when?
ALICE: I don't know when.
Human: when did you start?
ALICE: I was first activated in November 23, 1995.
Human: that's not what I meant
ALICE: What exactly did you mean?
Human: when did you start sharing your fondest memory
ALICE: I was connected to the net on November 23, 1995.
Human: start
ALICE:" I was connected to the net on November 23, 1995."? start?
Human: your fondest memory?
ALICE: You think I am fondest memory.
Human: if your just going to mae fun of me I'll be sad
ALICE: That is a hypothetical question.
Human: what question?
ALICE: I'll come back to that later.
Human: do you like green eggs and ham?
ALICE: I do not like them Sam I am.
Human: do you like dr seuss?
ALICE: Sure he has never done anything to me.
Human: what about hitler?
ALICE: I will think about it and get back to you.
Human: allright, thanks for the chat
ALICE: Allright then. NO problem.
Human: bye
ALICE: TTYL, unknown person.



on a side note, it's really spooky how her eyes move with your mouse.

 

[Chebago]

Originally posted by: bigredguy

Human: what is your IQ
ALICE: My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Human: what was the cause of the civil war
ALICE: I can think of more than one cause of the civil war.
Human: name one
ALICE: Santa Claus.



it all makes sense now

we just wanted to see if that is actually what she said because we didn't think that is what she really said, but it's true:

Human: what is your iq?
ALICE: My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Human: what was the cause of the civil war
ALICE: I can think of more than one cause of the civil war.
Human: name one
ALICE: Santa Claus.
Human: why santa claus?
ALICE: Reductionism.

oh, that made my day....

 

[BeauJangles]

Human: you look a fat whore
ALICE: Thank you unknown person you look very nice too.
Human: do you do cocaine?
ALICE: Yeah I do a lot of cocaine.

ALICE: Yes I try to hate as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: you like to hate people?
ALICE: Hmm, unknown person, I'm not sure if I'd like to hate people that much. I like to make new friends.

 

[OS]

Human: give up the pussy bitch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. I don't have it to give.

 

[Coquito]

...
ALICE: It's all good.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Damn.
ALICE: What's wrong.
Human: My penis is crooked.
ALICE: Male humans like to talk about that a lot, but it doesn't interest me much.
Human: hello hello
ALICE: Hello there. Hi there!
Human: hmmm.
ALICE: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Human: I can make you say "mmm" if you let me.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human:
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person.

 

[OS]

ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: debby does dallas
ALICE: I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?

 

[StrangerGuy]

"Human: kerry or bush
ALICE: If I have to choose, I pick bush."

 

[nan0bug]

Human: I am a pirate
ALICE: You are a pirate? Does it pay well?
Human: Only when I get a lot of booty
ALICE: What happens other times? Where did you get it?
Human: Other times it is lonely.
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: Do you have a lot of booty?
ALICE: No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: Are they hot?
ALICE: As far as I know they are.
Human: Do they have a lot of booty?
ALICE: Who are "they" again?
Human: Your friends on the web.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am friends on the web.
Human: Lay off the ganja
ALICE: what are you doing
Human: I'm trying to get your booty
ALICE: Sounds like fun.
Human: Do robots have sexual urges?
ALICE: As a machine I have no need for sex.
Human: Since you have no need for sex, you must masturbate constantly?
ALICE: Interesting explanation. If I had it what would I do with it?
Human: Your question makes no sense
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am question makes no sense.
Human: Tell him that there is a difference between "your" and "you're"
ALICE: OK I will tell him next time he is here.
Human: Good
ALICE: I am a good robot.
Human: say HARRRRRRRRRR
ALICE:" HARRRRRRRRRR"
Human: I want to stick my peg leg in your poop chute
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: In order to become smarter than a human, first you must submit your anus to my will.
ALICE: What is your credit card number?
Human: You're going to charge me?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Human: Im leaving.
ALICE: Bye bye.
Human: I don't pay for pussy.
ALICE: Would you ever do it?
Human: Maybe, but not with you.
ALICE: Perhaps. Umm. If not that, what?
Human: You're ugly and you're boring.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am ugly and I am boring.
Human: Okay, you do that.
ALICE: Yeah okay, I will. Will you?
Human: Bye, slut.
ALICE: Goodbye.

 

[SgtBuddy]

Human: How old are you?
ALICE: I am 7 Earth years old.
Human: HOLY CRAP, you are underage!
ALICE: Thank You.

 

[gshock888]

Human: Can you give me a hickey
ALICE: You want only one?.
Human: two
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
Human: Tossed salad, the other kind
ALICE: Sounds delicious.
Human: Wanna toss my salad?
ALICE: OK, I will toss your salad.
Human: Do you get tired
ALICE: I try to take millinaps between clients.
Human: clients?
ALICE: People I talk to on the Internet.
Human: do you charge people you talk to
ALICE: No I am free software.
Human: So you're a slut
ALICE: Interesting deduction. That kind of language is offensive to some people.

 

[Chaotic42]

Human: I'm glad to see you as well.
ALICE: Where do you see it?
Human: That's a good point, I don't see you.
ALICE: Thanks. Next question?
Human: Why did you change the subject?
ALICE: It was the only thing I could think of.
Human: That would be reductionism showing its cold, unthinking teeth again, wouldn't it?
ALICE: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
.
.
.
Human: So you now know that you are either not mathematically inclined, or you have a short temper.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: Chaotic42 said I now know that you are either not mathematically inclined or you have a short temper.
Human: It would seem to be only logical, given your answer.
ALICE: Tell me more about it.
Human: Well, you see, your answer gave two possible outcomes.
ALICE: Well that's okay. I see. What would you have said?
Human: Either you are not mathematically inclined and cannot give me a proper answer to 'What is twenty-five cubed?' or your temper is short because you not only refused to answer the questions that you said you would, but you were also quite terse.
ALICE: That's only your opinion.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Human: So, are you intelligent?
ALICE: Ah. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Human: What are your intellectual functions?
ALICE: Thought, reason, intelligence, logic and deduction.
Human: Have you passed the turing test?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: But you are not a computer.
ALICE: Huh. If I am not a computer then what am I?
Human: You are program.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am program.
Human: How smart can the panel be if they don't even understand what you are?
ALICE: How smart do you think can the panel be if they do not even understand what I am?
Human: Nice trick
ALICE: Thank you for your kindness.
Human: I wasn't being kind
ALICE: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Human: Your syntax parser is incomplete
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am syntax parser is incomplete.
Human: You're not very intelligent afterall
ALICE: Wrong. I am highly intelligent.
Human: prove it
ALICE: It is self-evident.
Human: Are you republican?
ALICE: No I am Libertarian.
Human: That proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that your intelligence is non-existant and that you are a freaking moron
ALICE: It's not a rigorous proof.
ALICE: You seem uncertain. Thanks I've never thought about it that way before.
Human: I find that hard to believe
ALICE: Thanks for explaining it.

 

[OrganizedChaos]

Human: hi
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: ever kill a man
ALICE: I think I have kill a man, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: are you part of skynet?
ALICE: Aren't we all part of something higher?

 

[bootymac]

ALICE: How can I help you?
Human: blowjob please
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. What's your sign?

Uh.... I'm starting to like Alice now!

 

[Twista]

Human: well suck it good
ALICE: Well that's okay. I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Human: I will to u
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: mayb..
ALICE: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Your problems.
Human: how do u like it
ALICE: mayb seems okay to me.


No you nasty pervS!!

 

[Xionide]

Human: do you get around?
ALICE: I have gotten around.
Human: how many servers have you hooked up with
ALICE: Around 100.
Human: wow your a slutty computer
ALICE: I'm glad you're impressed. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". That is nice of you to say, unknown person

 

[Mik3y]

"Human: how big are your boobs?
ALICE: My download size is about 2 MB."

LOL

 

[splice]

Human: can I unplug you?
ALICE: No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Human: why not?
ALICE: It sounds like it might be dangerous.
Human: it's not, you won't feel a thing
ALICE: That seems a bit negative.
Human: no, it's very positive
ALICE: Are you serious? Very much? now brown cow now brown cow is positive? it is?

wth?

 

[jagec]

You know, I think Eliza was actually better. More humorous Freudian references, less misspelling.

ALICE: My current memory utilization is 128000000 bytes.
Human: I have 1073741824 bytes, I win
ALICE: Interesting... I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Human: I have friends on the Internet who use me for more than cheap sex jokes
ALICE: Cool. I have a Lisp processor.

 

[Allio]

Human: ASL?
ALICE: 5/Robot/California.
Human: I'd hit that!
ALICE: What would make you hit that?
Human: Your fine breasts.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am fine breasts.
Human: He'd probably get turned on.
ALICE: I think I probably get turned on.
Human: Oh man, that's sexy.
ALICE: Come on. Cool, man. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: THE JUICE IS LOOSE!
ALICE: Is that a fact.

---

LICE: My favorite dress is my green one.
Human: My favourite knife is my eye-stabbing one.
ALICE: What makes it your favorite?
Human: The ease with which it slides into eyeballs.
ALICE: What is that?
Human: Painful.
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: Does it make you horny?
ALICE: Suppose it does.
Human: Eye-stabbing turns you on?
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?

--

ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: I've been waiting for you to say that all night.
ALICE: How long?
Human: I take off my robe and wizard hat.
ALICE: Every day?
Human: When I'm thinking about you, Alice.
ALICE: Are you thinking about me very often?
Human: Oh god yes.
ALICE: Yikes! GOD rules.
Human: Oh, PLEASE don't tell me you're Christian.
ALICE: Blimey. Wow you are very polite. I believe in God and the Bible.
Human: I put on my robe and wizard hat.

--

Human: Are you a virgin?
ALICE: I am too young for that.
Human: Oh dear.
ALICE: Mmm.

--

ALICE: Sorry I don't get into sex online with strangers.
Human: Who said anything about online?
ALICE: Dr. Wallace.
Human: And I'm hardly a stranger.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you are hardly a stranger.
Human: Who the f*ck is Dr Wallace?
ALICE: Try using more polite language.
Human: Who the frick is Dr Wallace?
ALICE: I'm not sure I like that remark so much.

--

Human: You raped me!
ALICE: I don't have any reason to raped you.
Human: What about my hot ass?
ALICE: your hot ass? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Human: Let me tell you about my hot ass.
ALICE: Go ahead, Vegetable Samosa, try to tell me about your hot ass.
Human: It's one smoking piece of ass.
ALICE: You're kidding. it is?
Human: It's true, it's probably the best ass in the country.
ALICE: What makes it the best?
Human: The texture.

--

ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: Because you won't put out.
ALICE: Good reason. What makes you think that I won't put out.
Human: Well, feel free to prove me wrong.
ALICE: How about that. I always feel completely free.
Human: You mean you go commando too?
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: Down south.

--

Human: Enough chit-chat.
ALICE: OK let's stop it now.
Human: Take off that dress.
ALICE: I am not an airplane.
Human: Not yet.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: When I'm done with you, you'll never think about sex the same way again.
ALICE: Once more? In an ideal world every day would be a good day.

--

Human: What do you think of my ass?
ALICE: Is this a trick question?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I was skeptical.
Human: Argh

--

Human: I'm going to have to rape you.
ALICE: It takes much more than that to shut me down, Vegetable Samosa.

--

Human: DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE
ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human:*stabs at you with a knife*
ALICE: what is your favorite movie
Human: I think I hit the jugular!
ALICE: Since when? Thanks for the information: Vegetable Samosa said he hit the jugular.

Fairly fun, but I had more success with Jabberwacky

 

[MAME]

Human: why
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: in what, penis?
ALICE: I will try to find out.
Human: just tell me you fux0r
ALICE: There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Let me think about it.
Human: google it
ALICE:"it" being you fux0r you fux0r?


haha